Is it okay to constantly make fun of something someone else genuinely likes?

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Kestrel, Apr 22, 2016.

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  1. See title. Assume you are aware of the thing the other person likes.

    Why? Why not? Under what conditions? What effect does your relationship with the other person have on your actions? To what extent does the subject matter? How do you feel about it if someone else constantly ridicules something you like? Would you say something about it?

    This should go without saying, but just to be sure; please don't be flagrant douchebags and at least pretend to respect each other's views. That'd be swell. Thread, go.
     
  2. It really depends on your relationship to the person. I joke with my husband all the time about his old crush on Jennifer Lopez, and his weird fascination with Big Trouble in Little China. But we're married, and that's kind of how marriage works. He gets on me about True Blood, and my celebrity crushes, so we're kind of even.

    For close friends, it really depends on how sensitive they are. Most of my friends are assholes, and if I tease them about something, they'll tease me right back. It doesn't bother me too much, because I know most of the things I like is for nerds.

    When it comes to people I don't really know though, I'm more of a 'Keep your opinion to yourself unless you want me to rag on your shit' type. I don't go out of my way to judge someone for what they like, but if they're an out right asshole about their opinion about my likes, then they'll get treated the same way.

    The only time I'd really say something is when I know someone is making a comment just to be an asshat.
     
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  3. It's okay to disagree about things and explain why you don't like it, or even playfully rib once in a while, but it's pretty douchey to keep ragging on something you don't like to someone who does. As I said in another thread, if you see something you don't like and somebody else does, just remind yourself it isn't for you and move on. It's totally fine to criticize something and state your opinion but for the love of Hades don't turn it into a shit flinging fest of douchebaggery.

    I also assume this is about entertainment and not opinions on hate groups or ISIS or some shit.
     
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  4. Depends on a great many things in my opinion. The person, the subject, etc etc etc.

    If you've been told to stop. Just do it. If they know you do it in jest and find amusement from it? Yeah that's friendly banter.

    As for receiving. It's grating beyond belief to constantly have your preferences or ideas belittled and mocked. Usually worse knowing any kind of retaliatory response pointing out how you find it offensive is mocked as well, under some circumstances obviously.

    To try and respond usually gets me in trouble. Whethet it's my tone or wording it doesn't end well usually even if that was never the intention.
     
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  5. Depends on your relationship with the person and how they feel about it. Do they laugh along? Do they know that you're joking? If you "constantly" make fun of their interests, then you should already know by now how well they take it. If you and them are capable of joking around about it, then it's all good -- clearly no one is really upset by this. But if they're clearly upset by it and you know that they're upset, then you'd kind of be an ass to keep it up.

    That said, it's worth noting that there can be gray areas here and you sort of need to be able to read people in order to gauge whether or not they're actually bothered by it. If they try to laugh along but it sounds forced and awkward like they're annoyed but they don't want to show it, then you should probably ease up. If they would look genuinely bothered to an onlooker but you know them well enough to know that they're fine, then you're probably ok. In that way, it basically comes down to you needing to know their friends well enough to really read their emotions better than a stranger could.

    Whether or not someone would get upset by this depends on a ton of factors, but the important thing is just being able to judge whether or not they're actually upset. If they are? Then, duh, you should stop. If not? Then you're fine. And if you're "constantly" making fun of their interests them that would imply you spend a fair amount of time with them and that you're probably friends, or at least that you spend enough time together to understand each other's personalities fairly well -- in which case, you should probably be able to read them well enough.
     
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  6. Said it earlier before.

    Just as you have the right to be offended by something said. You also have the right to say something offensive. I think that it's okay to harp on things other people like that you don't. I think where the line in the sand is drawn is how it comes off.

    My rule of philosophy is

    First time is always a concise reason why I don't like it. I go into great details and facts of why I don't like it.

    And any other time I make fun of it, is harsh sarcastic ribbings at the said thing I don't like.
     
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  7. Depends on the person and the subject.

    For most things my general rules are
    - Don't dish what you can't take.
    - Don't do it just to be an ass.
     
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  8. Since I know you hate piddling middle of the road answers @Kestrel here's mine.

    No, not really.

    It's okay to make your opinion known once or twice, but constantly bashing something over and over again is many things. Entertaining is not one of them.
    • A. You're trying so hard to be funny that you completely disregard the feelings of those who care about the subject matter. It's the reason I don't always make jokes about Feminism, or Donald Trump, in every thread I venture into. There's a time and place for such things: Everywhere and all the time are not those things.
    • B. You have serious political beef with something and you smash it everywhere. This might sound ironic coming from me of all people (I can't resist posting in debates for instance and I'm long winded as fuck), but sometimes I stop and step away, or create threads of curiosity only. As much as I joke about feminism, I have friends who are feminists. As much as I joke about Donald Trump, I have at least three friends who are going to vote for the guy. If your hateful obsession grows to the extreme that you must smash a topic at its mere mention, you need to stop and reevaluate your life. You're only going to isolate yourself. You're only going to make yourself miserable, and whatever abyss you hope to destroy will merely be embodied in you.
    Ultimately, when you keep mocking something over and over, it will warp how you view the people who believe in that thing. The more incessant you are, the less you'll care when you hurt people's feelings who are associated to that thing. "Haha, those Christians are all so easily butthurt, Christianity is so stupid. Look at how stupid those people who believe in it are."

    It's an easy jump into dehumanizing other people by association to the thing you're mocking. God forbid that thing be a person. I've been subjected to it myself, actually: I've had people hate me and mock me so much and so incessantly, that they terminate relationships with others who merely associate to me. I've had people dehumanize me because I'm an atheist, or because I'm left wing, or because I enjoy anime & cartoons. (No, seriously, I've had people dehumanize me over cartoons because their mockery and callous disregard for them became so extreme that it irrevocably poisoned their opinion of anyone who likes them.)

    Sarcasm and criticism are powerful tools, but they need to be wielded properly. Otherwise, you just create a culture of reporters who will skirt chase every drama and inflate it into a political event for the sole purpose of dividing people into camps that mock each other for their beliefs.

    Oh, wait...
     
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    Funny, a lot of racist and homophobic people use the same argument. "Oh, well, I have a '<insert minority>' friend, so I'm not <prejudice>."
     
  9. I'm pointing out that as much as I may disagree with the ideologies these friends of mine possess, that in no way stops me from remaining their friend, because the person is still more important to me than the ideology. If I started obsessive-compulsively berating a subject matter over a prolonged period of time, to the point that I could do nothing but mock it, it would warp my perception of other people who possess that ideology. Or, conversely, that "something." It would isolate me from being able to talk to them and interact with them, especially if it was important to them.

    By no means does having friends who are feminists somehow make me above criticism on my beliefs about feminism. It just means that whatever beliefs I hold do not exclude me from possessing valuable friendships with people whose ideological perspective differs from mine.

    It also takes a specifically ideological slant, because I cannot imagine a scenario in which a person non-stop berating and mocking black people or women would be considered anything less than a terrible person. Macabre humour and the like has a place and time, "everywhere" and "all the time" just implies disquieting things about the way that person thinks, you know?
     
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  10. Your words, not mine.
     
  11. Okay? I'm not sure we're disagreeing.
     
  12. I don't think it's okay. Myself, I'm a pretty sensitive person so I don't try to mock anyone's taste in stuff they may like. That's not to say that it doesn't happen to me. I've been told stuff I eat is gross, something I watch is 'ew', a game I love is 'trash'.

    Yeah, I may take it personally, but the fact was that it hurt, to the point that I don't bring it up anymore.

    So I say, live by the golden rule. Treat others like you want to be treated. If something isn't affecting the world at large, then what do you really get from constantly putting down something another person likes?

    Don't get me wrong, occasional making fun with friends is fine. But if you know the other person is sensitive, or they're getting agitated, then just stop. Maybe you have a thicker skin than they do. It doesn't make them any less if they don't.
     
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  13. I know reading is hard, but I'm willing to give you a second shot at it.

     
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  14. How do you do it is the point I think. I had to cut contact with people who vichiusly and constantly made fun of me, who even went so far as to go behind my back about it and continue. I was told it was crocodile tears, when I complained and pointed out how patronizing it was.

    At the same time, we need to be able to question any and all ideal. It's a matter of how you do it. Communication is important. Even when facing down obvius bigotry and racism, communication is important. There is a real problem that us ol' lefties have. We are prone to anger about what we think is obvius truths. And when we engage people about it, we get a bit to heated. Putting someone down only breeds contempt. And alienation adn contempt is what the extremer sides of the coin, both left and right, prey upon.

    That's not to say, So aren't rightwingers. Far from it. The shout matches I've seen. And the amount of racist, sexist and bigoted rethoric I have had thrown in my face is evidence of that. And I am not saying all Rightwing supporters are super racist or anything either. But when it comes to the ones that openly engage me over topics such as gender and sexuality representation, of ethnicities rights to be heard. It is generally the same old; "your the racist. Or you do not speak for them. Or simply "They are thugs/terrorists/scum." coupled with trowing around the odd buzzword such as "cultural marxist" or "Regressive Leftist". But if I start to make fun of them, if I start to incessantly bash them, I am no better then them. And I only continue a cycle of polarization.

    Again. Communication is key.
     
    #15 Hellis, Apr 23, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2016
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  15. One of my friends once asked me if I'd rather they lie about not feeling the way I do about something I like. I kind of felt defeated after that. Not saying anything is an option as well, or just being happy for that person. It's what I always do. I don't drink alcohol for example, or eat pork, but when my friend mentions they had that, I don't break out with an "Oh that is so gross and nasty," rather a "I hope you enjoyed your meal."
     
    #16 Greenie, Apr 23, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2016
  16. I for one do not see how I was not simply offering a statement as to what a number of unsavory characters say. I in no way disagreed with any opinions in this thread, other than just now in regards to your opinion that I am doing anything actually wrong.

    So before you run around with rude remarks to individuals, perhaps you should stop fabricating insult and argument where there is none.
     
  17. But, that said, it is never okay to constantly make fun of something someone likes. More times than not, people incorporate their likes as part of their identity and you never know exactly what personal meaning they have drawn from whatever you are making fun of. 'Light jabs' grow to become mocking, belittling and overall insulting, regardless of if you are 'friends' with them or not.
     
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  18. Oh... I didn't realize we were talking about political ideologies and the like. o.o I assumed we were talking about, like, I dunno... people's favorite TV shows and video games, or celebrities that they really like.

    I suppose political stances might be a bit different... hm... I'll have to think more on this question, then.
     
  19. No it's not.

    Of course teasing between close friends is a differnt matter but it also has its limits. I have stuff I like and I gave up on trying to convince other people of my opinion about liking it, by now I simply do not care. Why should I? People I have nothing in common with in the first place aren't the people I want to have anything to do with and those that have something in common with me, well, I talk about the joys we share rather than wasting time with heated arguments. This, of course, goes into both directions, it's just a matter of accepting each other.

    That said, I am a terrible human being who sometimes does it just for the sake of being an asshole, it's so fucking retarded from me and I don't know why I can't just stop it. But I became way better than compared to a few years ago.

    @Kaga-kun just answer how you want to? Because that's the same impression from the very first post I had too.
     
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