RRRRGH. I love the clinic where I work, but I'm not getting anything EXCITING to do, nor am I getting to do anything that I actually LEARNED how to do in school. It makes me feel a little guilty knowing that I put everything I had into learning everything that I know, and then I go and waste my days not putting any of it to use. We're so slow.. I'm lucky to see a single surgery in a month.. And if I want to get my specialty in the veterinary surgical field, I have to have at LEAST 4,500 hours in an OR. I can't get that here. Surgery is my thing. I belong in an OR, doing what I love to do. I want to be able to learn different procedures, and actually be able to SCRUB IN on a daily basis! It's been so long since I've even so much as put on a surgery gown, and it's KILLING me. D:< Trouble is, my roommate has already put in an application at the same specialty practice that I have been mooning over for four years, KNOWING that I've been dying to work there. I let myself feel guilty for wanting to put in an application too. That, and I don't want to have to live with her attitude should I get the job instead of her. ):< I need room to advance in my career. I want to better myself. I want more excitement. I need more money and benefits to support myself and my babies. I want to go as far as I can in the field that I have chosen, but I don't want to lose the friends I have made along the way. I HAVE to find somewhere else to work if I'm going to go into any kind of specialty, and I will not be happy until I know I've gotten as far as I can go. STOP MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY FOR WANTING TO BETTER MYSELF. What do I do? Do I say 'to hell with you all' and go for everything I can? Is my ego getting too big, or do I have the right idea in mind to get what I want? I just need some opinions, pwease!