Irrational Fears

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Astaroth

[*screaming into the void intensifies*]
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What are you afraid of?

I don't mean things like "losing people" or "failure" or "being alone" or "dying" or any of those very reasonable, very human things that most people fear to some degree. I mean the fears that have NO BASIS IN RATIONAL THOUGHT and make you sound like a crazy person if you get into detail about them.

For example: I am afraid of large birds. Anything that is bigger than a duck is a monster. I had recurring nightmares about giant birds as a child, and I find the idea that twelve foot kiwi birds use to exist HORRIFYING BEYOND BELIEF. I am GLAD THEY ARE ALL DEAD. Also, GIANT EAGLES. I don't care how cool they were in LotR (or The Rescuers Down Under). Apparently historical New Zealand is my Hell.

It probably doesn't help that I was attacked by geese as a child, but I don't think that trauma fully explains my hatred and terror towards huge fuckoff birds.

(I actually love dinosaurs, but some of the flying ones evoke the same sensation of horror as more modern birds. For example, this abomination.)

What about you guys? What makes YOU break into cold sweats and rave like a madman?
 
........CAMEL CRICKETS

AKA SATAN'S SPAWN

LOOK AT IT



LOOOOOOOOOOOK

381350845111599.png
 
@Melon

Camel crickets are pretty damn annoying because they fucking won't leave you alone when you're trying to take a shit. :|
 
THAT'S WHY. One crawled on me while I was doing my business...and those little shits bite. x-x
Geese bite too.

Did you know geese have teeth. 8|

Did you know they have teeth ON THEIR TONGUE. 8| 8| 8|

(Before you all jump on me, yes I know they're not really teeth but when it comes to being bitten does it really fucking matter if they're structurally distinct who gives a fuck THOSE THINGS ARE SHARP)
 
Geese bite too.

Did you know geese have teeth. 8|

Did you know they have teeth ON THEIR TONGUE. 8| 8| 8|

(Before you all jump on me, yes I know they're not really teeth but when it comes to being bitten does it really fucking matter if they're structurally distinct who gives a fuck THOSE THINGS ARE SHARP)
Geese are also evil shits.

One time I was feeding ducks some bread and this goose wanted some bread too and hissed at me until I gave it the rest of the bread. x-x
 
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House Centipedes I mean just look at these little creepy buggers! And the way they move its like a cockroach and a snake had an unholy child.
640px-House_Centipede.jpg




Open closet doors. I can not nor will not sleep if the room I am in has a closet with the door wide open even if I'm not seeing it I just can't do it. It pulls deeply at the inner child at me and gets me to freak myself out. Day time or lights on that's fine but if its dark in the room that door better be closed.
 
Geese are also evil shits.

One time I was feeding ducks some bread and this goose wanted some bread too and hissed at me until I gave it the rest of the bread. x-x
Geese are devilbirds.
 
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@razorrabbit

I used to have the same issue when I was a kid, but I grew out of that.

I also used to be convinced that there was an old lady in the toilet that could come out and get me when I flushed so I would flush the toilet and run away like Satan was on my heels. .___. To this day I have no idea where I got that notion.
 
Ya'll just haven't met the right geese yet. Hang out with some friendly ones, like out of a Disney movie and it'll help at least a little.
 
Bullshit. I defy that there is any such thing as a friendly goose.
 
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@razorrabbit

I used to have the same issue when I was a kid, but I grew out of that.

I also used to be convinced that there was an old lady in the toilet that could come out and get me when I flushed so I would flush the toilet and run away like Satan was on my heels. .___. To this day I have no idea where I got that notion.

For some reason that closet thing has stuck with me no idea why.

I used to do that too only I was afraid of an evil baby coming to get me, I think I got the notion from a brief glimpse I got of a horror movie about new born twins and one was evil. Though it was only with our downstairs bathroom the upstairs one was fine because babies can't climb stairs. At least that was my kid logic.
 
Bullshit. I defy that there is any such thing as a friendly goose.
I normally would agree but I have met two before. They even made an attempt at a cuddle. They hung out around our house for two days after following us home then took off.
 
Dead animals. Just laying there, motionless, being gross and dead... And who's to say the motherfucker isn't going to suddenly start back up again and make a jump for my face?
 
Mirrors. Half of the time I can't look into them for fear of what might be there.

Somebody turning into a zombie and being complete aware of what they are doing. So not wanting to eat people yet not being able to not. I had a dream like this and the emotions were overwhelming.
 
@razorrabbit

Kid logic is the best logic.

Okay, maybe you have met the two geese on the planet who aren't assholes. The exceptions that prove the rule. :|


@Fluffy
We both played too much Resident Evil as kids didn't we
 
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@Icystorm

Actually, mirrors make me hella uncomfortable too.
 
@Ozzie Chanter

That it is :D

Oh don't get me wrong Geese are major D-bags but if you can happen to find a chill goose it's pretty awesome and it does help with ones fear of them, at least it did for me.
 
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