M
MiNaGi
Guest
Original poster
Adrian went silent as Stephen spoke. He just didn't know what he should say or do. He was truly scared that he'd lost Stephen to the pain, to the suffering. He always thought of being yelled at as something back, and he winced as if he was being scolded. He looked like he was just waiting to be hit across the face, adorned with whipping and hits until his body was bruised and not moving. He began crying as he sat there. He just couldn't do anything. He was so worthless, he couldn't even help his own boyfriend. He wanted more than anything else for Stephen to be honest with him, to not care how perfect he was or wasn't. He felt like he was going to break. What had he done wrong? Did Stephen really hate his words that much? He was so scared to speak. The tears fell freely from his eyes as he looked at Stephen. "Why... do you get so angry...? Your yelling scares me... I just want... you don't have to be perfect... you don't have to be sorry for being born... I don't care if you're perfect or the most fucked up person on this planet... all I want is your love... then you can be as silly as you want, and ask all of those stupid questions you want... I don't want to pressure you but... why..? Why are you even feeling pressured...? You must've had a reason for wanting to ask me something... and I always fuck it up just because I want you to be honest... because if you wanted to ask me something, why would you stop...? Can't you see I'm not going to laugh...?" He asked as he looked at Stephen with his tears falling from his eyes. He just wanted Stephen to tell him the truth. He just wanted Stephen to be honest with himself and face that Adrian would be the last person to ever want to hurt or harm him in any way at all. When Stephen asked if he was worthless, Adrian began sobbing loudly, holding onto Stephen's body tight to prevent him from going. He couldn't care less about what his parents did or didn't think or see. He was proud of Stephen, perfect or not. "You don't listen either! It doesn't matter if you aren't fucking perfect, or if you're worthless! That doesn't matter! I'm a worthless piece of scum too! I deserve to die too! I don't deserve someone as absolutely wonderful as you... because you are, can't you see it? You've helped me up from the abyss, showed me love and affection for the very first time... and now I don't feel as worthless. I just want you to feel the same... that you can ask me stupid things... because no one is perfect... and I just want you to be the real you with me... not this angry person, not this sad person, not someone who's tough and perfect... I want the you that would, maybe shyly, ask me that question... regardless of how "not perfect" that will make you... we two are probably the most non-perfect humans that will ever exist, but so what? Can't we just be the real us? Can't we just be worthless weaklings who deserve to die, as long as we have each other?" Adrian never stopped crying as he spoke, trying to get through to Stephen.