I'm stuck.

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Original poster
Before I get to the main reason for posting this, I need to let off some steam. Today has sucked balls. On top of my insomnia, this cold I have and the side effects of my new birth control method, I no longer can wear eyebrow jewelry.

Reason why? My clumsy boyfriend skull bashed me in the fucking eye. It's bruised now and what's worse is it sabotaged the skin of that brow piercing. I have to now deal with having that ugly bruised flesh everyday, everywhere I go. I'm also sad I can't wear my barbells anymore. :[ He doesn't seem to care, either. Or even be sorry. I know this was an accident, but I can't help but feel that he's joyful about this damage I've received. He never did find my piercings attractive... I don't give a fuck, okay? It's my face - I do what I want.


Math. Lots of you know I'm struggling with this subject. It's the ONE thing that holds me back from succeeding in the world. Can't take chemistry until I meet college math standards, can't graduate until I take such and such... I've gotten tutoring, I've tried different profs, I've even had my math genius boyfriend mentor me.

I'm hopeless.

I failed my mid-term miserably. I got a 26% on it. Right now, I have a 40% F grade in my math class. This results from poor grading on some other assignments. There are a few tests left, plus the final, but I don't know if it's worth it to keep on trucking.

I've already been rejected from WWU because of "too many admissions", so I should just give up before I get another F on my records. It will be a while until I can make it into that school, sooo I feel like I can take all the fucking time I need.

But nooo... Family and boyfriend are telling me to keep trying. I don't know about them, but I hate to put all my efforts into something just to fail. .__.; I can't say I've never tried, either. Here's the scoop: I've failed 4 math classes in my lifetime. High school is the first 2. I even had to go to summer school to earn those credits, or else I wouldn't have gotten my diploma. The other 2 are in college. I failed Elementary Algebra (Math 98) the first time I took it. Last quarter, I failed my Intermediate Algebra (Math 99). In ALL of those classes, I did my best and still failed.

This one, I don't think I should give that chance. I'm doing horribly. And I don't think I can get it from that low of an F to a C in 3 weeks.

I'm wondering if I should just give up this environmental studies pursuit and go to the Bellingham Tech College. Less school, classes more relevant to my interests. Sounds good to me. They have a veterinary technician program I'd love to get in on. The reason I've not enrolled is because my boyfriend and his family don't want me too. They say I won't be successful and I must go to a university to get a Bachelors or better.

I don't want to impress your family anymore, Karl. All I'm doing is getting hurt... If I'm not good enough or smart enough, then get rid of me already.

...advice? <3 To withdraw or not to withdraw from evil math 99 classu.
First off, sorry to hear that all this crap happened to you Fluffy, if I could I would magically make that bruise go away and buy you a new shiny barbell to wear. 83

Second, I'm gonna say drop the class.

If you're not doing well in the class and you've tried everything to get good grades, then the learning enviorment that you are in is not working out for you. How can you be expected to do well if nothing you've tried is working out? And Tech College is definately a great idea, I have plenty of friends who go to tech school half of the day here and it works for them. Besides, I think everyone learns a little better when it's about something they actually would like to know, and if what you want to do is at that school then you should go, no, need to go there.

And don't let your boy or his family keep you from doing what you want. You are a grown adult, and you can make up your own mind. You also don't have to make his family happy, that is not your job sweets. And if he leaves you because you decided to drop and go to a different school then he's not a good guy for you, you need to be supported when making choices like this not forced to do something that stresses you out so much that you're about to explode! Also, I and many other Iwaku people will be here, ready to let you vent your rage and anger on us and then shower you with compliments and adorable RP's to make you happy again.

Anyway, I hope you start feeling better and that the bruise goes away soon! And good luck with what ever choice you make sweetie!
Question for you first. Can you describe more about what sort of feelings you get when it comes to math? Do all the numbers get jumbled up in your head? Things of that nature. Then there's always the chance that you have test anxiety, which is more than common in most people. If the professors are understanding, try to get an incomplete and that way you'll have more time to work on homework, if they assign it. Many times, these sorts of classes just move too fast.

Since this stress keeps making you unhappy, I'll say try the vet thingamabob. It's not really a defeat, it just means that your brain works differently from other peoples.
You know, Fluffy? I can't really tell you what to do. That would be them. It seems like it's high time you follow your heart instead of their words. If they can't accept you for who you are, then fuckem. That's my take on the situation, at least.
Question for you first. Can you describe more about what sort of feelings you get when it comes to math?

>>; Aside from hatred? I just immediately get stressed and should someone mention the subject, I do everything I can to change it to something else. It also makes me nervous... I'm scared of saying or doing something wrong, or stupid. It might have something to do with the past. My step-dad wasn't the most supportive. Every mistake I made, he'd verbally abuse me for. Lots of times, he'd send me to my room without any dinner, because of failing a test. So now, math is just something scary for me.

I do have test anxiety, yes. I blank out the moment the test is set in front of me and I sort of panic. It's hard to calm down and think, especially when there's a time limit on the damn thing.

And thank you, Harpy and Felzilla. <3 I appreciate what you've said. Muchly.
Fuck them! My mother tried to same crap with me. "Oh no, you have to go to a four year college" and I tried and I was miserable. Once I've started choosing my own way and was happy with MY decisions that they finally realized that they shouldn't care. I think something like that might work for you, if they really care about you they'll let you do what makes you happy, even if it isn't as prestigious.

You're awesome to us and that counts for something right?
It's YOUR life, he might be your bf and get some suggestions in it, but his family can go fuck off. D:< You shouldn't have to waste your time and your money on something that isn't mentally healthy for you. If it was YOUR goal for that career and it was something you really wanted, I'd say truck on through and keep trying. But you're not even doing it for yourself. >>

So follow your own happiness! t___t If that man loves you, he'll support the choice. If not, tell HIM to fuck off too. >:[ YOU ARE A WILD STALLION. LIVE FREE!
I think what you really need right now is some alone time. You need a couple of days, or even weeks, without anyone telling you what to do, what to say, or what to be. You need some time to mull over your hopes, dreams, and options, without any outside influences. You also need to have a deep discussion with your boyfriend. From what little I know of your relationship, it sounds like he does not appreciate you, your opinions, or he things you do. You need to be sure he knows how you feel and that he understands what you are going through. If he refuses to change than he doesn't deserve to be with anyone, let alone you.

I secondZypher's statement. Fuck them, They don't have any right to dictate what you do with your life. If you want to do something that is easier for you than they should respect your descion. If they don't than tell them to go to hell.

Finally, we are here for you fluffy, God knows you have been there for us. Endure, that is all we can do. I have been through hard times in my life, time where I was ready to give up and end my life, but I endured, and I will continue to endure. remember things like this will make you stronger, just don't give up.

I'm sorry if this got a little preachy or personal or anything. We are here for you, at least I know I am.
I think Fluffy needs more Kitti love.

I think that you should give yourself a chance to succeed and try to earn a "c" but if it doesn't happen, then you shouldn't beat yourself up. Feel good that you gave it your best shot and do what you love.
Or skip the first bit and just do what you love.
<3 Mwah
First up, I understand completely your feelings towards maths; it took me three years to pass even the most basic of grades at school, I was that awful at it. Some folks are awesome at it, because their brains just seem to click with the concept, and with other people you might as well be trying to teach them Klingon or some shit.

I think Fel summed up the situation nicely; it's your education, and it's your life. Only you can make the final decision regarding it. Don't get me wrong, feedback and advice from others can be really helpful, but it's your call, at the end of the day.

Oh and for shits and giggles you should headbutt your boyfriend back.

Then not apologise as well.
Zypher and Diana pretty much said what I was going to here, So what you want to do and be your own person. Ultimately It won't be your boyfriend, his parents, your parents or even (Insert Deity here) that you have to answer to, it's you. So make sure when you an old fluffy grandma that you can look back on how you lived your life and smile.
Thanks, all. <3 I can't think of a better place to get advice and words of encouragement.

Anyway, I talked to him and he said he won't think badly of me if I transfer to tech college. He even said he might follow me there, because he too is sick of GURs and shit. Which confuses me, because just the other day he was all "NO, ANDI. UNIVERSITY SCHOOL IS WHERE IT'S AT!"

There's a receptionist as well as office assistant certification program I want to look into more. I have experience in that field already, plus I don't mind desk work, aaand it requires few classes. Receptionists seem to be in demand around here, so I'd be able to get a job easily with certification. [I hope.] I figure, if/when I'm bored with that, I'll go to the vet program or maybe even try community college again.

All else fails, uh... I'll figure something out. Stuff always works out for the better in the end, right? :] Imma do what I want from now on.
Math. You bastard. What sick fuck thought that adding numbers, and then throwing in some letters would make on a a well round individual?

Anyways, Fuffly. This has probably been mentioned prior to me mentioning, but ultimately you have to answer to any, and all choices that YOU will make. You will always know what you're meant to do, even if you don't know. It's one of those strange subconscious things that we all eventually run into. Advice from others, and loved ones is all well and good, but remember that you'll be the one waking up everyday knowing what you did, and didn't do. Others will forget, but you will always remember. Don't feel like you need to beat yourself up over a potential "Failure" as each shortcoming is only a hint, and a remembrance of what one individual is truly capable of.

Reach for the stars, and grab the moon's balls, girl. Fuck what others tell you, and go for broke in whatever opportunity presents itself. The world is your oyster, and not everyone loves seafood. (If that makes any sense.) If that's the case, then add as much cayenne pepper as it fucking takes, and devour it when the taste meets your likings. Life's an odd potluck which is bitter sweet, but the sweetness always comes after the bitter taste. You will succeed in what you do, and if not, then I'll choke on my words of encouragement.

Don't make anyone else proud. Make yourself feel like the golden egg laid from the goose, regardless of who's got it in the pen.

Maybe it doesn't have a lot of weight, but I feel that I can trust you to hold yourself high, and shit on the mundane, and long roads in the end. Keep doing what you're doing, and know that eyebrow piercings are sexy, and that scars are fucking awesome. : D
To sum all this hulabaloo about to come out of me: DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

God knows there are too many people in this world doing something they hate with every fiber of their being just because "someone told/forced them to" or because it gets more money than the job of their choosing. Know what? FUCK EM. Anyone who tells you to do something you don't like to do when you COULD be doing something you actually enjoy doing needs to go suck a rusty scalpel.

Like me, for instance. Mom and family told me not to go to NC and stay in Florida. I hated Florida, and I always wanted to go somewhere new and try living on my own for once. I went, and I don't regret it. I've met some amazing people, got a job and living free of my family for once. Sure, I have a shitty job that I'd quit in two shakes of a lamb's tail, and sure I pay too much for rent and have no car, but guess what? I did it cause I WANTED to, did it cause I LOVED to do it, and I have no regrets whatsoever.

Go do what you love, Fluffy. It's a rare chance in this world nowadays.
Fluffy darlin'. I know you don't have a sweet fuck on who I am. But in all honesty; DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. If you're tired of trying to succeed in something you know you're going to fail, then do what you think is best. I'm not telling you to quit, I'm not telling you to stop trying; but I'm just saying like the above. DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR YOU.

You come first before anyone else. And if anyone else gave a fuck about you, they'd understand that. Instead of pushing you and shoving you to try harder, and all that jazz, think about what would happen if you did fail again. I mean, seriously. People who are pushed to the limit on what they can do can lead to depression. I wouldn't want to see you depressed. I'd want to see you strive for your goals and figure out what you want to do in life. Fuck everyone else, and look after yourself.

This is the best advice I can give you along with, "Follow your heart." You can never go wrong when following your own heart. Of course, it has to be what your heart desires; not anyone else' heart. Just yours.

With that, I'm ending this, and hopefully you'll figure out what you need to do to figure out your life and your own decisions. Cheers, bb.