I just don't know what to do any more. I used to be so proud of possessing an above-average intellect. I was, by no means, a genius. Never have been, never will be. But I knew black holes from the Black Death. Now, it's all coming down on my head. I've got all this work, all these tests, and everyone's expecting me to ace them all. Everyone's expecting me to be among the best - but I'm not one of them! I'm just some kid with sleeping problems and a mild Napoleon complex. I don't want people to expect anything of me. I'm always disappointing people. They tell me it's not so bad, but I can see the disappointment in their eyes. They expected more of me. The teachers that thought I held so much promise. The colleagues that expected a rival. The friends that expected someone to turn to when they needed answers. I'm just not who you think I am. I don't know how I got this far, but believe me, it wasn't hard work and determination. I just don't know what to do with myself any more. Everything's caving in - I'm collapsing under the weight of the burden I never should have accepted. Come the time when my exam results are handed to me in the brown envelope, I know I'm going to be disappointed with what's in there. All the places in higher education will likely be taken by people who have actual potential, and have the determination and spirit to work hard and keep at something. Honestly, I've just dealt with my bullying problem, and I thought I was managing to get my life back on track. And now... Well, you've just read it. I look at myself in the mirror, and the eyes that stare back are so old. I don't see a young man, ready to take on the world. I see someone whose mind aged quicker than his body, who just wants someone to accept that he's not all everyone makes him out to be. That he never will be, no matter how hard he tries. I honestly have no idea what to do with myself. I'm a wreck - a sleep deprived, haggard wreck, who obviously isn't ready for the world of work and responsibilities.