If you could have one thing....

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I'm gonna be boring and also say tardis :D I wanna travel through time and space!
 
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No question.
 
But can't a TARDIS give you a sonic screwdriver?
I don't think I want to travel in time and space. The responsibility would weigh too heavy on me. I'm a worrier, and I doubt my ability to enjoy the TARDIS. Though, with a sonic screwdriver, mischief could be made, fun could be had, and all sorts of stuff would be made infinitely easier and I could stay on/in the comfort of my home planet/time.
 
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I don't think I want to travel in time and space. The responsibility would weigh too heavy on me. I'm a worrier, and I doubt my ability to enjoy the TARDIS. Though, with a sonic screwdriver, mischief could be made, fun could be had, and all sorts of stuff would be made infinitely easier and I could stay on/in the comfort of my home planet/time.

You're definitely right about making things easier.

I almost forgot about all the times when I've thought to myself that life would be so much easier with a sonic screwdriver. At the very least, I'd never have to worry about technical difficulties with any device ever again.

And every time I think that, I have my own two sonic screwdrivers just sitting there, taunting me, all plastic and useless...
 
If I could be Commander Shepard, pick my crew and choose my allegiance;

-Break off with Cerberus right away, don't need them, thanks for the ship assholes.
-Fly off into the terminus system, use my inherent abilities to navigate all regions of space.
-Keep strong ties with the Alliance, but refuse any call to re-join them, making me a neutral party.
-Cruise around the galaxy, warning every society of the Reapers (the council can fuck off, I'm doing it my way.)
-Help in preparation for their attack while simultaneously having bad-ass adventures and hot alien sex.
-Create strong bonds and alliances beforehand, giving me the upper-hand when they arrive.

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-Use Legion and Tali to broker a cease-fire between the Geth and Quarians, hopefully before hostilities. Simply opening a line of communication seems like it's all that's needed.
-Keep personal tabs on the Rachni Queen, she can live, but this hiding in the shadows bullshit is over. Take the effort to become contributing members of the Galactic community or I will personally destroy the relay to your system.
-Pull out my reputation and use it to back up Clan Urdnot, let's try to see if we can find out about the Krogan Females before too late, getting mordin on-board and working out a deal with Wrex, that if I cure the Genophage, the united Krogan Clans become my personal anti-reaper paladins for the duration of the war.
-Representing the cured Krogan, the revitalized Rachni, and the symbiotic relationship of Geth/Quarian, I think I might have enough pull to keep the council systems from fucking my plans up. Tell them all I want is readiness for the invasion, and will hand myself over to custody after we defeat the reapers, should they request it.
-Make a deal with Aria, use my warning, my backing to become Bitch Queen of the Terminus Systems, having a united army of scumbags against the reapers that will almost surely collapse under itself during peacetime.
-Get in contact with the Illusive man, tell him we're after the same thing but I refuse to work alongside him. He can have his chance at taking control, but he must work with the alliance until the end. With all these forces together, we could possibly get the Crucible up and running before the Reapers even show up. Just make sure to double-cross the Illusive Man at the right time.
-Keep constant contact with Liara, she's my eyes and ears, making me an agent of the Shadow Broker for all intents and purposes.
-Kiaden (no, fuck Ashley) will be my rep with the alliance, I don't care if he objects to my methods, he knows what's coming for us, he can be the one propositioning the Human governments while I get actual work done.
-Miranda can kindly GTFO off my ship, I don't care if she hate Cerberus now, I don't need her. She wants to help out, fine, but she doesnt need to be on my crew.

My Crew:
-Garrus, hell yes I need this motherfucker. He's my #2, my XO, and having ties to the Hierarchy could provide useful.
-Tali, my chief engineer if she's up to it. Having her in good standing means the Flotilla won't be able to pull any stupid shit before I can broker peace.
-Jacob can stick around, sure, I don't know what I'll have him do, but he can be there.
-Thane, having an assassin might be usefull, but I will offer to let him join his son. Should he choose to stick around, i'll ensure his last days are everything he wants.
-Grunt, fuck yes. I need my personal bodyguard.
-Mordin, assuming he's up to cure the Genophage and thinks he can do it from aboard my ship, he's more than welcome. The events of ME2 prove you need a good scientist.
-Samara, I'll offer to drop her off wherever she wishes, but should she choose to join my fight against the reapers, I would love to have her.
-Legion, will be important. One of the things I want is to upgrade the Normandy in every possible way, that might include Geth tech. Also, considering that the Geth have the most direct experience with the Reapers, I want to get in contact with them and share information, possibly offering them my support in the future should they wish to join the council races. Also keeping Legion just because he's awesome.
-Zaeed, knowing what's coming, I think he wouldn't mind staying on with me. I can't offer any pay, but anything we find on our adventures is his if he wants it.
-Kasumi, she's staying, no doubt about it.
-Jack, well fuck yes, I need the Psychotic Biotic, (to be my girlfriend.)
-EDI and Joker will be on-board, but that crap with EDI's body can stay out, no thank you.
-Dr. Chakwas and the rest of the Cerberus crew will be offered to stay on-board under my direct command, or else-wise be dropped off at the next port.
 
I would definitely go with the best thing in the entire galaxy of existance. I CHOOSE THE WARHAMMER OF ZILLYHOO!
 
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No wait, I change my mind, the Pop-o-matic Vrillyhoo. Its the Zillyhoo but better.
 
If I could have one thing from any movie/show/book that has ever existed?


A fucking boyfriend/husband who finds me incredibly attractive and falls in love with me even though everything about my personality is dislikeable.

Like Twilight.


Those things you call "boyfriends" are so fucking elusive.
 
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