I Wish to Dance Among the Ashes

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Kyo Chapelle, Apr 18, 2014.

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  1. Warnings: This is a sad, intense, and thoughtful roleplay; as such it will deal with serious topic!
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    ((I promise I am not actually too serious and/or scary in the OOCs or anything I just want a deeper more serious roleplay every one in a while you know. Also if romantic GirlxGirl is preferred if not any gender is cool.))

    I ran down the empty alley way its twists and turns coupled with its looming feeling of eternal wandering and sadness perfectly mirrored my own frame of mind. All that was need to complete the picture was the rain trickling down on my already soaked face, soaked with tears that is; however it seems only right that someone as at home with water would be denied my element at such a painful time. If not for my desperate attempts at trying to choke down my own bitter tear I might have let loose a chuckle even if forced and pathetic. At this moment though pathetic is truly how I feel.

    Most would assume this to be the overblown pain of hormones speaking volumes of something that is only a small meaningless problem among the thousands people deal with everyday. To this argument I can only reply with a this: "I am not going to say I am in more pain than others only that my pain is my own and is a challenge I am unfit to bear." The echoing of my footsteps are all I have to try and allow my to try and escape these bitter truths. The fact I am overreacting like every other self absorbed teenager, that my situation would be one other people would wish to be in, and how I will most likely be forced to suffer this fate alone. What followed after the crushing depression of the matter at hand was suddenly swept under by a new emotion.

    Anger. I had the intense urge to punch something or kick. I needed that destructive release that would give me that false sense of power and control that my feeble subconscious was so starved of. I turned and stared at the brick wall to my side that was now instead before me. Without hesitation my foot moved on its own accord raising up and forcing itself against the wall leaving me in more pain then it. Feeling even more bitter outrage I proceeded to punch it my knuckle slamming against the hard, rough surface. After my outburst I calmed down taking labored breaths as I rubbed my sore hand. After the pain and hate subsided The familiar lonely feeling returned. With tears welling up in my eyes for a round two I stumbled backwards slowly as my back pressed against the wall. I slide down curling up and crying allowing my sobs to be absorbed into my knees as I shook violently from my own cries of anguish.

    Was it worth it? Skipping class, running away, and being this stupid; was it really worth it?
    Maybe I didn't know anymore my head was spinning and I was in just too much pain to think; emotional, physical, all of my at total wreck and it was all my own fault.

    ((PM me if you are interested))
     
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