I need help and opinions on how I roleplay!

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Arnold Solomon, Jan 15, 2015.

  1. Hiya!Can you give me some suggestions to further improve myself?Here is a sample of like, an introduction of a character or something.

    "The day was being reborn.The sun newly arisen, light barely illuminating the dark, moonlit forest.Wind howled occasionally as a short, average man walked down a worn, rocky path back to his village.Something rustled in the bushes, and startled him.He froze in his spot, taking the palm of his hand to the grip of his old iron dagger, the blade slightly dull from constant use from practicing on the many stumps that resides in these woods.As his eyes scanned frantically all over the bushes, in search of whatever this was, an arrow flew right past his ear, the sharp sides only nicking him..."
  2. Here's a couple tips!

    • Grammar! Periods (.), Commas (,), exclamation points (!), question marks (?), and parentheses (()), should always be followed by a space!
    • Adjectives: Here's a quote from an English instructor I had in college; I keep it pinned up by my desk: "Avoid straining for the most luminous lyrical phrase to describe the wondrous waterfall. At best, it will make you sound artificial - unlike yourself - at worst, pompous. Strive for fresh words and images. Leave 'myriad' and its ilk to the poets. Leave 'ilk' to anyone who will take it away." In other words, favour words that quickly and accurately convey your meaning, rather than words that sound poetic or fancy. The longest word is not always the best word. "She blushed" is usually better than "Her cheeks burned a dark crimson", and "It was a clear night" is usually better than "Diamonds twinkled like the dust of pixies in the midnight blue of an open sky as the earth slumbered below.", and your first two sentences could be neatly condensed into "The sun was just beginning to rise over the forest". People know what sunsets look like. They know that the night sky has stars, beaches have sand and waves, and that living grass is green, don't waste time on obvious details, and try to use descriptors that get your meaning across quickly, and use words that your readers will understand immediately.
    • Action: A lot of the times people over-describe because they are trying to fill out a post. If you're struggling for content, remember there's more than description; there's action! What is your character doing? What are they thinking, and what are their five senses picking up? What are the characters around them doing? What's happening in the environment? Try also to introduce actions that move the story forward, or give the other players something to do
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