I Hate Loving You (Gay Romance, Open)

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by kodystanford18, Oct 22, 2013.

  1. "Get out of my way fag." Was the only thing Benedict Academy's star quarterback knew to say to me it seemed. I could not recall ever pissing him off in any way, what did I do to deserve this treatment from him. However, he made sure to take every opportunity to bully me. At school, I was openly gay; something I could not do at home, although from the way I walked and talked you would think my oblivious parents would catch on. The absolute worst thing about attending Benedict Academy was my major crush on the Quarterback. Despite his constant bullying, I found him very sexy and often fantasized about him dominating me in a sexual manner. I am much smaller than he is, with a small petite and rather feminine like body, in fact I looked much cuter than any girl in the entire school.

    My father who played football at Benedict when he attended said that nothing would make him more proud than me joining the football team. As small as I am the only thing I would be able to do well is kicking. This would present the perfect opportunity to irritate my crush.

    After school on Friday evening, I walked out to the football stadium to speak with the coach. There I saw a sight that caused my heart to race and my cheeks go red. Every single football player on the field was shirtless and doing pushups sweat running down their fine toned Greek god like bodies. After staring for several minutes, I managed to get control of myself and approached the coach. "Hi Coach Hayworth." I said smiling sweetly; I must have been a sight to him, dressed in extremely tight black jeans, furry black boots, a hoody that had furry cat ears on the hood, which now covered my black emo styled hair. He turned his attention toward me and raised his eyebrows. "Um, I would like to try out for kicking... on my dad's behalf" I said shyly. The coach looked at me closely. "Alright then, I recognize you, your Paul's boy. Your Daddy was the best kicker this school has ever had, maybe it runs in your blood." He said and laughed as he realized how small I was.

    "Alright boys, Trenton here is going to try out to be our kicker, get in field goal positions." He said loudly through a megaphone, the players reluctantly formed up. They scowled at me as I approached them, pulling my cat ear hood from my head. I gave a soft smirk at my crush then playfully blew a kiss toward him. The whistle sounded, I sprinted toward the ball and kicked hard, the ball went directly between the uprights, we did this several times and each time received the same result. The expression on the coach's face and the faces of the players was priceless. We tried kickoffs next, each time I managed to kick it into the opposing end zone. Then we tried punting situations and again each time the ball ended up in the other end zone.

    After my try out was over the coach approached me with a stunned expression on his face. "Damn son, your better than your daddy ever dreamed of being. I'd be a damned fool if I didn't let you on this team, be at practice Monday evening." He said and walked away shaking his head in disbelief. I walked over to the bleachers and was pushed down by players walking by, "Great now we've got a faggot on our team." They all laughed. Once they were gone I stood up and huffed angrily as I pulled on my cat eared hood and looped my messenger bag over my shoulder. Suddenly I noticed my crush approaching me; he looked as though there was something on his mind. I bent down to tie my shoes, forgetting all about wearing tight jeans which had to make my butt look cute from behind..
  2. Elliot Valletti has the perfect life. That’s what they said about me. I was the golden boy, the big man, I had everything a normal guy could want. I was the star quarterback on a team with its first chance at a championship win since the 1970’s. I was dating Olivia Johansson, the captain of the school gymnastics team and the hottest girl in school. I was popular. I was fit. And I was a total shoo-in for prom king. Yeah, I can see why they said I had it all.

    But they were wrong. I didn’t have a perfect life. The image they saw was nothing more than a cardboard diorama- some pictures pasted into a shoebox- and Trenton was the flame that was getting a little too close.

    He always had this way of provoking me, flirting so unabashedly no matter how cruel I was to him. It was like he knew, somehow, that sometimes when I touched Livi I imagined her shoulders a little wider, hair coarser, hips petite and square like a boy’s... Of course he didn’t know any of those things, but he was so close to knowing. It scared me and seriously pissed me off. And it all came to a head the day he joined the football team.

    Working out for me meant escape. The pain distracted my brain and my body from the anger, confusion, and shame of my life. Nothing could break my concentration on the field, except, of course, one thing...

    “Alright boys, Trenton here is going to try out to be our kicker, get in field goal positions.”

    I was so shocked by the coach’s sudden announcement my arms nearly gave out and landed me flat on my face. I looked up through my dark brown curls, hoping that I would see a different Trenton. But of course it was him. What’s he doing here? I wondered. I knew a kid like Trenton couldn’t possibly give two shits about football. It was like the universe had sent him just to fuck with me.

    “What’s a fag like him think he’s doing at our practice?” Graham muttered as we got up, lending voice to my very own thoughts.

    “I dunno” I started to grumble back but my thoughts were derailed when Trenton blew a kiss straight at me. The other guys saw it too. They laughed and jeered. The blush that burst across my cheeks had me thankful that I was already red in the face from the heat.

    “Ooh looks like fagboy likes you, Elliot!” Marcus badgered.

    “Hey Elliot don’t be rude, blow him one back!” mocked Eric, shoving me towards the instigator of my humiliation.

    “Shut the fuck up.” I replied, elbowing Eric hard before turning to take position. I closed my eyes and prayed that he would be a terrible kicker. He can’t take this. Not this. I begged silently. Cautiously, I opened my eyes just in time to see the ball sail through the uprights like it was nothing. And there was Trenton looking as smug as ever. The coach gave him the position and the one thing in my life that wasn’t filled with sexual frustration and self-loathing fell to ashes.

    After practice I marched over to him as soon as the other guys headed off toward the locker room. My eyes were immediately drawn to his ass, small and tight. The sight sent electricity through me that both turned me on and pissed me off even more. I was seething. My green eyes must have look like they were ready to ignite at any moment.

    “What the fuck was that?” I demanded when he turned around, shoving him hard. He looked bewildered and beautiful, like a doe that had been startled, but I was too angry to let that slow me down. “No, really, what the fuck was that?” I shoved him again pointedly. I couldn’t help but notice how small and delicate his shoulders felt beneath my hands. “Do you know who I am? Do I have to spell it out for you, F-A-G? Here’s a memo: I’m not like you. You may be on this team now, but you’d better stop with the gay ass twinkle-toes fairy shit and start acting like you hardly exist or I am going to make your life more miserable than it already is. Clear?”
  3. I heard all the whispers among the players and their snide comments but I ignored them. Although it was hilarious that I was getting under their skin, I knew they wouldn't hurt me now that they had someone who could put extra points on the board for them. But I knew someone who was still going to give me hell and that was Elliot as usual... the one person in this entire shit-hole who held my heart broke it on a regular basis. He hurt me worse than anyone because I was head over heels in love for him. But slowly I was getting tired of his shit, I could tell he was Gay and he wasn't fooling me at all.

    After practice is when enough became enough... we were completely alone, he didn't have his cronies to help him beat me up when he confronted me.

    It was time to stand my ground.

    I let him shove me as I listened to his cutting words... But then I shoved back, "Shut the fuck up Elliot!!!l" I yelled back as tears from anger stung my eyes. I pushed him again. "I know who you are, you are the asshole who for some fucked up reason has had my heart forever. You should be completely worthless to me but your not. I know you like me. Even through all your fake hatred I can see it." I glare at him and push again. " My life has been a living hell thanks to you and the other bullies, but I have not let you stop me from being myself. You can try your hardest but I am not going to conform to what your buddies think is right like you have." I said, annnoyed as hell now... I had never stood up to him or anyone like this before, but damn it felt good.
    #3 kodystanford18, Nov 8, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 8, 2013
  4. I was taken aback by his words, so much so that I didn't even fight when he shoved me back. His little arms didn't move me much but still, normally I wouldn't have taken it. But at that moment I just sort of stared at him, watching his hair fall wildly around his small and absurdly pretty face. He even looked beautiful when he was angry.

    This was not how it was supposed to go. We tease him, he pushes my buttons, I yell at him, toss him around a bit, and leave, and it starts all over again. But this was so strange to me. He was fighting. And then there was the things he was saying... I'd always known he wanted me, but this sounded like love. If someone walked by they would have thought we were long-term boyfriends having an argument. I pretty much was his boyfriend, in a fucked up way. He was still yelling and I stood there vacantly until something snapped back into place in my brain.

    "I make your life hell? Fuck you. You fuck with me every single chance you get, Trenton! And I'm the superstar quarterback, people look at me all of the time. I'm under constant scrutiny. You have the option to be nobody, so why don't you just fucking do it? When people laugh at you being all- flamboyant and shit, they're laughing at me too, you know? My life would be great if it weren't for you, so if you really think I'm so special, leave me alone!" The last part was a lie. I was certain my life would suck no matter what, but Trenton complicated it in ways that made me crazy uncomfortable. "I'm done with this." I pushed him one last time, shoving his shoulder with my left arm and forcing him behind me before I stalked off towards the locker room.
  5. My glare worsened as he spoke. His words hurt mainly because he couldn't see his own stupidity. He was the one hiding in a shell not being himself, it was clear to me that he liked me, I didn't have to be his problem if anything I could be his solution. But he refused to open up. I didn't give a shit what people thought of me, I was happy with who I am, and it wouod be a cold day in hell before I conformed to what they wanted me be. Hell, even if I did change I would still be an outcast and no closer to Elliot...

    "YOU ARE NOT DONE WITH THIS UNTIL YOU FINALLY STOP GIVING A SHIT WHAT OTHERS THINK!!!" I yelled after him before snatching up my bag and heading in the opposite direction, tears still streaming down my cheeks. I walked down Oak Street. My house was directly across the street from Elliot's I couldn't help but wonder if he knee I was his neighbor, I certainly knew it. When I got home the house was empty and quiet, Mom and dad must have still been at work, so I thought at the time. I walked upstais to my bedroom and laid down on my bed looking towards my window to Eliot's house. I dried my old tears away just as new ones began to pour.
  6. One good thing about my encounter with Trenton is it delayed me and gave me the locker room to myself. I seethed as I showered and got dressed. Where does he get off? I wondered, hating how much he knew about me. I packed everything up and left, all the while wondering about Trenton.

    I drove my truck home and slammed the door as I got out, then slammed the front door walking in.

    "Christ's sake, Elliott!" My dad yelled, but I ignored him as I stalked off to my room. I flopped down on my bed and called Olivia. She was the only person I knew who would listen to me complain...

    "...I don't get why he has to be so... gay." I groaned, rolling over onto my stomach.

    "I know he's weird but come on, El, do you really have to be so mean to him?" I hated when she called me El.

    "Are you on my side or not?" I countered quickly.

    "Of course I am. Just- you say he joined the team to piss you off, right?"


    "Well maybe if you're nice to him he'll agree to quit." I paused. Maybe she was right. But I would have to find a way to do it that the guys wouldn't hear about.

    "Thanks, Livi. I'm gonna go."

    "Okay, kisses."

    "Um, yeah, kisses."

    I rolled over again and reached across the bed to my night stand where my iPod and speakers were. I pressed play and let the music of The Beatles fill up my room until I was completely relaxed. This was how I meditated. I just had to think of how I could get to Trenton like how he got to me...
  7. At some point I must have dozed off because when I awoke it was 9:00pm. I figured mom and dad should be home by now so I made my way downstairs. It was still dark and quiet, first I checked the living room then the kitchen and finally their bedroom. No sign of them anywhere. They should have been home by now.
    Of they were going to be late that would have called, so I checked the home phone and my cell phone and still nothing. It's okay they probably just got tied up at work, I reassured myself and went into the kitchen to make a sandwich, usually by now Mom would have supper done and we would be sitting down to eat. They hadn't been late like this in some time.

    I ate my sandwhich and drank a cup of apple juice as I waited, Another hour passed and still they weren't home, now I began to worry... What the fuck was going on?

    Suddenly I heard a police siren up the street and drawing nearer, the car stopped in front of my house and I rushed to the front door and outside into the cool air just as officer stepped out of the car and began to approach me as he removed his hat.
    My heart began to sink before he began speaking "Trenton Lovelace?" He asked and I nodded, " There is no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to give it my best..."He paused and cleared his throat. "At 6:00 this evening your parents were killed in a tragic automobile accident... I'm terribly sorry to have to tell you this." The officer finished, as if it was nothing he got back in his car and zoomed zoomed off down the street...

    I lost all feeling in my legs and collapsed to my knees in the grass of the front yars as tears began pouring all over again... Just when I thought my life couldn't get anymore fucked up this shit happens.
  8. Something was disturbing my zen moment. Someone was wailing, screaming kinda, with little gasps in between. I waited for it to stop but it didn't. I cracked one eye open and then the other. The wailing went on and on. I got up and looked out the window to see a hunched over mass in the front yard across the street. I squinted but couldn't tell who it was until I noticed... cat ears. Trenton.

    I wasn't sure what came over me. I'd seen Trenton cry lots of times. Usually I was the one causing it. But this time felt different. Something lurched inside of me and it all felt wrong, very wrong. I ran out of my room and noisily scrambled through the house. My parents sat up as I clambered by. My dad yelled something and I caught a flash of deep concern in my mother's eyes.

    I rushed across the street and kneeled down next to Trenton. "Trenton!" I shook him, but he just kept on sobbing. "Trenton, what happened?"
  9. I didn't know how long I had been crying, I didn't care about anything right now it felt as if I had been stabbed, the mental pain had become physical.

    After awhile I heard footsteps quickly approaching me, maybe even running, then suddenly I head his voice... Elliot, there he was as if he cared he couldn't begin to understand and even if I told him he would probably laugh at me and tell me they are better off because they no longer have to live with me. I pulled away from him, dirt had mixed into the tears streaming down my pale cheeks. I looked a mess. "Piss off..." I panted through my tears and ran back into my house leaving the front door wide open as I ran up to my bedroom, a rage overtook me i began breaking things as the tears began flowing harder I yelled as I punched my mirror cutting my knuckles on the shattered glass. I Through a knick knack my momnhad hought me for christmas through my window. Everything had finally taken it's toll on me and I couldn't take it anymore.
  10. I watched him run into the house. Stunned, I just stood there in the yard and listened to the smashing. I jumped back as a little figurine flew through the window and shattered at my feet.

    "What the fuck?" I wondered aloud. I turned around as my mother ran towards me and put a hand on my shoulder.

    "Is that your friend Trenton?" She asked softly.

    "He's not my friend." I replied quickly, automatically, still staring up at his window.

    "Sweetie, we just saw on the news... Trenton's parents have died in a car crash." She told me, voice shaking a little bit. There was a large cracking sound like something hitting hard against the inner walls and another object flew through the window. My mother gasped and stepped back. "He's old enough that they won't grant him new guardians. He's on his own and that house is all he has. Someone needs to bring him out before he destroys it." I barely heard her. I felt cold inside as if I was suddenly empty.

    "I'll go." I said at last and disappeared into the home. I looked around when I entered. What normal people they must have been. What a normal, respectable house. I followed the crashing noises and ran upstairs to what had to be Trenton's room. And there was Trenton.

    "Are you crazy?" I grabbed him by his wrists. "Stop it! Tren- stop, Trenton!" I yelled but he wouldn't listen. He thrashed against me. He had too much range of movement. I had to do something. I held hard onto his wrists and used my strength to push him down on his bed, pinning him there so he couldn't destroy anything else or hurt himself. I kept his wrists pinned on either side of his head and looked straight. "Calm down, man. You gotta calm down. Trenton, please. Please."
  11. I had made an enormous mess shattered glass and broken wood was everywhere, my hands were bleeding badly a mix of blood, dirt, and tears now covered my face Pieces of glass and wood was all over my hair and clothes, I looked completely wild.

    Still I rampaged even as I heard footsteps on the stairs, I didn't care who saw me like this... When Eliot stepped into my room I was repeatedly punching my mirror, watching my crazed refelction shatter then he grabbed me. I fought hard to escape his grasp as I sobbed then he threw me down on my bed and pinned me down. Still I struggled against him, "Get off me... leave me alone." I said breathlessly through the oncoming tears.
    Slowly my body began to give up from exhaustion... "leave me alone..." i whispered once more before passing out..m
  12. I held him down for several minutes before he went limp under me. I lifted his arms up and dropped them back down again to make sure that he was really out. His limps fell onto the mattress as lifeless as a rag doll. I sighed and picked him up. It was an easy task for me. He was light and I could lift far more with ease.

    It occurred to me as I was walking down the stairs that people may have gathered. Perhaps they would take video of me carrying him and post it online. I would never live it down. My face was already beginning to grow hot. I held my breath and stepped outside but it was still only my mother standing there with her hands laced together beneath her chin.

    "He fainted." I told her, too dumb to say much else. "His hands are bleeding."

    "It must have been too much for the poor dear... Well, bring him in. I have some supplies from work." My mother ushered hurriedly. She worked as a nurse at the hospital so she would know what to do.

    We walked across the street and I saw my dad was standing in the doorway with one shoe on.

    "I was comin'." He said gruffly before pulling the shoe off and going into the kitchen to get a beer. I laid Trenton on the couch and sat on the coffee table and looked at him. My mother ran to the bathroom to get the antiseptic, wrapping tape, and bandages. I watched her go to work on his hands. He looked like something from the wild with his hair falling all over and a few specks of blood on his face. His expression though, was relaxed, angelic even. I wasn't sure yet if this was real or just a nightmare.
  13. Surprisingly I dreamed during my blackout, but it wasn't pleasant my parents and everyone I love or have dared to love was laughing and pointing at me while I curled up in a ball and sobbed while they yelled awful things at me. The way I felt was being displayed in this nightmare.

    Suddenly I came to, in a room I had never seen before, and there was Elliot staring at me... I was so stricken that I only stared back at him without a word, almost afraid that he might hit me, but he didn't.

    A woman came into the room carrying an armful of medical supply she sat down beside me and began cleaning my bloody hands then dabbed the blood and dirt off of my face, she was a very sweet lady, I knew right away she was Elliot's mother, she looked just like him, except their attitudes were vastly different... Only one question was playing on my mind right now... "W-what am I supposed to do now?" I said, my voice was hoarce from crying l, I hadn't meant to say that aloud, but really what now?
  14. "Oh, honey. Maybe you should wait a little while to start thinking about that." My mother replied, gently.

    "He can start thinking about it if he wants, Carol." My dad grumbled as he returned to his chair. I watched him mute the TV as he turned it on just in case they were reporting on the accident and Trenton might overhear. My mother sighed softly and turned to Trenton.

    "Do you have any family, dear? Who are your godparents?"
  15. I felt completely lost again, the room felt as though it was spinning. I laid back and stared at the cieling as Carol's question registered... I was completely alone. When I came out my family except for mom and dad disowned me. My grandparents had died before.

    "I-i don't have anyone. I am alone." I whispered as fresh tears began rolling down my face... I turnee and glared at Elliot, once my hands were bandaged I stood up. "Thank you Miss Carol fornyour kindnesses, but I can't stay in a place where I am not wanted... just the sight of me offends your son and his friends, I no longer want to be a bother to anyone." I said shakily and walked past them and back out into the night, I started down the sidewalk... I didn't know where in the hell I was going.
  16. My mother and father just watched as Trenton walked out of our house. They didn't know what to do. He was crazy to leave and for that reason they didn't understand it. It wasn't something I would do. They didn't know how to deal with it. I looked at them, received nothing, and groaned. I went out the door and jogged up the street to catch up with Trenton. I grabbed his arm as gingerly as I could.

    "Hey, look, you're right, you are a huge pain in my ass. You're over-the-top and relentless and absolutely insane, but you can't just walk off like that, okay? It's not fair to anyone. Just, come on. My sister's in college, you can have her old room, at least until you get on your feet. Cool?"