I feel like giving up

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by ElBell, Oct 28, 2014.

  1. I can not handle all of this school shit. I'm less than a month into it and already I'm behind, feeling helpless and unable to catch up again. I can't read fast enough, I can't let go of being a perfectionist, it's just too hard. It doesn't even feel worth it to get done a year early because I have lost all but one friend, I am stuck just eating, sleeping, studying and swimming. It feels like I'm not doing shit with my time, and even subjects I was passionate about have become some of the most hated chores in my day to day life. I have no drive to even try anymore.

    My swimming is shit now as well because my hips and shoulders are popping like rice crispies, and I just don't know what the fuck to do. I've been doing homework instead of swim, but the one time I told my dad that, he yelled at me for being a 'lazy slacker' who 'can't get my shit together'. It's like I can't fucking win with them, and it makes me so depressed and angry. I'm just so stressed and defeated, I can feel a total meltdown coming.

    Oh wait,

    I don't have time for one.
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  2. Everyone can relate to that. Myself, I've felt that way more than once before in my life. I wanna say "Oh, everything's gonna be fine, it'll all work out" but, whenever anyone told me that when I was going through a tough time, it didn't help. All I can do really is try and send as much support as I can through this message, and try to let you know that you're not alone.
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  3. Don't give up! I give you my support and if you just need to rant then let it out! All I can do is offer my advice. Try to lighten your load. I don't know how.....But you can try. I mean it's all I can offer other than encouraging words. You can do it. I may not know you personally but, I believe in you ^.^
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  4. I just feel trapped beyond belief, I mean my parents are not helping at all it feels like. I truthfully believe my hip and shoulder problems are stemmed from stress, and that takes away one of my two outlets for being okay, RP being my only outlet left. I don't even know how to get it fixed either, which is pretty frustrated because it's once again my lack of time that I can't get help for it. I know the things to do, I'm just too busy. My coach is trying to help, but since I only see him for maybe 2 hours a day, he can't do very much. At least he'll let me cry and vent instead of swim, which probably will be how tonight goes. Maybe I can have a few friends hop out with me for a bit, especially since one of them went through her own similar break down a few days ago. I can't properly practice anyways, but my parents just don't want to hear that. My swimming is my ticket to college after all, so god forbid I lose that.
  5. @ElBell just hang on tight mate. we all have rough patches in our lives. if you need anyone to lean on i can do it. meanwhile as for homework try going the oppritunist path with it. as in whenever you get the chance knock alittle of it out.
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  6. @ElBell Well, try to see if your coach can get you a referral to a PT (Physical Therapist) Perhaps they can help. Hips and shoulders are very important! I do hope you take care of yourself properly. Don't let your parents get to you, trust me it ain't worth it. I shall be here to give all the hugs or ears or whatever you need ^.^ If you need funny things perhaps I can suggest a few sites?
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  7. I can relate, My grades always slip at least one part in the year because all my classes somehow always suddenly decide to give me projects to do, I'm awful at projects. My outlet was video games and RPing, and then I get bombarded with projects and my grades slip, and what does my parent do? Takes my main outlet away, and then wonders why I don't socialize, us being far from the friends I had prior to moving, she also expects me to do everything without an outlet, which clearly makes things worse. I don't get it but I don't really care anymore. I just deal with it, and try not to get angry at how ridiculous parents and the school board concept is sometimes.

    I hate it... and I love most of everything. Still it's not worth giving up over, that'll just make things worse in the long run.
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  8. Every day just feels like hell now ;~; I can't take this much longer, I'm just a pile of shit compared to everyone else it seems.
  9. as i said before i'm here fou 'ya. you can message me what's up. i can try and help you out with it.
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  10. I really hope you're not letting that "adults" thread make your feelings worse, Elbell. The thread was fine, and people were having fun with it, it wasn't a failure, nor does it reflect back upon you.

    As for the rest of it... I don't know what to say, because I never got bumped up a grade, and I was never really all good enough at anything to have any pressure on me to do well. My pressure was just to be a little better than average, and that's pretty much what I achieved. From what you say, your parents never experienced it either and aren't trying to understand what it's like. I've seen other people offer to talk to you here, so I won't pretend to know you or your situation well enough to be of any use as conversation partner, but take some comfort from this thread. There are people here, some might be friends and some might be strangers, but we're all rooting for you, and we want you to succeed. There are people here that have offered to be there for you when you need them, don't lose sight of that.
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  11. That just kinda topped off the shit week I've had honestly. That alone doesn't bug me, it's just like one thing too many, y'know? Hopefully a night in costume and shoveling down candy will help, but I don't know. I just do hope I can find some relief and honest fun soon. Even tonight I'll probably be talked about changing swim teams, catching up on school, etc.

    Any advice derailing that so I can relax?
  12. @ElBell Talk about all the delicious candy! If they get to a topic you don't like just say "Hey look at all the candy! Doesn't it look good?!" and try to derail it to talk about food. food is always good to talk about!
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  13. Easy! Eat so much candy that you hurl. Then everyone will keep well away from you. :P

    I think Luna's idea is better, though. Just throw yourself into the Hallowe'en festivities and get so involved in the candy and the fun of it that people won't bother you with boring, mundane things instead. With some people, you could probably even give them the honest answer, and say that you'd prefer to talk Hallowe'en, instead of talking swim team, and suggest that they talk to you about it another time.
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  14. I can certainly relate to the feeling of isolation from losing friends, I had to leave all mine behind when I moved for work. Sometimes, it gets to be a bit crippling when you absolutely need somebody to talk to or spend time with, and honestly, having a good internet community to fall back on can make all the difference. From what I've seen, there's some really good people in this thread, and while nobody can be there to talk with you physically or give you a reassuring embrace, their understanding and company is just as real.

    In a way, school is one of the most stressful and demanding times of your life because you have to balance so many pressing things, it's easy to become overwhelmed and even jaded at the experience. Why keep fighting it? Why continue with the struggle? Because you know that at the end, it'll pay off. In a way, it's kind of like going through boot camp. There's so many factors that are pressuring you to give up and quit, to tell you you aren't good enough, but you know what? You do these things because you know you can, and at the end, you will be a stronger person for it and so much more appreciative for the little things you had to give up during that time. Take everything one at a time, several battles in a bigger war, and despite the hardship and everything you feel like you have to give up, never forget that you will prevail and you are capable of handling whatever shit life throws at you.

    But nobody can go full burn all the time, and you do need a breather once in a while, so don't be afraid to take time for yourself, even if it means skipping a day of practice or half-assing your homework. You DO need to recharge, because it's like trying to stay awake for 3 days straight or run for 8 continuous hours to try and get ahead, you're going to do worse than if you took the time you needed to get a hold of yourself and let your body mend itself. Even taking a 20 minute nap from time to time can do wonders. If you feel like you can't concentrate or it's just getting to be a bit much, step back, go do something fun or relax, and come back to it when you've had some time to unwind. You'd be amazed at how taking 20-30 minutes doing everything you don't have to do can go towards focusing on what you need to do.

    Your parents really don't sound like they understand, and for that you have my deepest sympathies. I would just go about saying the barest of minimum to satisfy them, and what they don't know can't hurt them. Sometimes, you just need to let the words wash over you because your dad doesn't know what you're going through and he thinks you're being lazy and ungrateful, well fuck him. He just has to worry about work and then he goes home at the end of the day and doesn't have a crushing amount of homework and balancing a competitive sport on top of that. As such, he has no goddamn right to make demands of you, and you know full well what's at stake, but you're also working towards it. He may not see that, but that's his problem. You're clearly a smart, dedicated girl who is taking on a lot of shit right now, but you will get through it and preserver. Just don't be afraid to come up from air from time to time.

    I know it doesn't mean much, but if you need to vent or somebody to talk to, I volunteer as tribute/ distraction/ source of possibly similar experiences.

    Be proud of what you've accomplished and what you're going to accomplish. It may be hard, perhaps impossibly so, but try to keep your chin up. It's like my drill instructor was so fond of reminding me as my body was on the brink of collapse, pain is weakness leaving the body. Survive this and you'll be a goddamn titan.
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  15. Don't give up just yet! You're amazing, and you know that. Maybe if you explain it to your dad, he'll understand. Anyhow, I hope things get better for you. :angel:
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  16. I wish to send my encouragement, and I don't want to be a negative Nancy, but if somethings gonna give its better its your grades then your mental state, trust me not a fun road to travel.
    also take care of your body i lost my job as a lifeguard due to some cracked ribs.
    hopefully you can get your parents to understand and make some adjustments.

    not that I'm telling you want to do, I'm neither you nor your parents. and I Have no real answers...
    I quit school got my GED and am living off of a part time job I actually kinda like.
    A diploma is a piece of paper noting something you did.
    your life is whatever your going to do.

    Having rambled the ravings of a lunatic, it is admirable to press on, and strive for everything you can accomplish. I wish you the best, and hope you find a way to make it work.

    ps. try finding your joy again, play tag with your team mates or go for a free swim, try marco polo. maybe your coach can do one of these as a team building exercise or something. i wish i could be more helpful.
  17. Bringing this back because my dad just stormed out for lord knows how long all because I got annoyed he couldn't just settle with me on goddamn lunch... Food is just such a silly part of day to day life, and I think it's such shit for him to yell at me for that. Yes, I was pissed he and I couldn't make up our minds, but was I bitching? NO. I went to make myself a fucking sandwich and then he starts sassing me for being a spoiled brat and acting like queen of the house and all this bullshit, so I stop because I can't eat when I'm upset. Then finally as I'm sitting down trying to shove my nose back into school work, he storms out and declares he's going to go golfing and doesn't know when he'll be home. Lovely, and now here we are only 2 hours from swim practice and not a single word from him to me, my brother, or our mother. Some days I wish I could just find somewhere else to be, because this constant yelling and fighting is making me feel worthless and shitty rather I'm the exact cause or not. I simply cannot handle this any more.
  18. Damn, sounds like you're I one hell of a fix.

    That really sucks, and I hope your situation gets better.

    Only thing I can really say is one piece of advice my coach gave me when I was going through a bad time.

    "Tough times don't last. Tough people do."
  19. Bell, It's ok, I remember feeling the same way...You just have to keep going.
    you are so young and resilient. Try taking 20 minutes a day to just relax, stretch, or do some yoga.

    You HAVE to learn to 'make' time for things like that now, or your stress will get worse and worse and worse.
    take deep breaths and remember that its all temporary, and giving your mind even just that 20 minutes a day No PC, No phone, No school work.

    Just you, getting in tune with your body.

    One thing many people do today is abuse their bodies, if something feels wrong to you, go type it into google and see what other people are doing to fix that same problem, and if you can't find a solution that way, tell your father and mother something is wrong and it is effecting you. You must go to the doctor and get it checked out now before you get into your adult years.

    What is happening to your body may be the cause of your stress and not the other way around. Please take care of you and remember to give yourself breaks. What is just 20 minutes a day to us, could mean all the difference to our bodies. I hope everything work out for you Bell, and that you find your center, I know you can do it. :)

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