I feel like a failure.

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Robin's Lover, Sep 28, 2014.

  1. I send in lots of job resumes and try and make something of my life. I work hard and I'm dependable but every time I put myself out there I'm rejected. I look over myself over and over and wonder what is wrong with me. I mess up sometimes but more often then not I do everything right I think. I think I might be manic depressive. I don't know though. How do I feel OK about myself if I fail at nearly everything I try? I think I fail anyway I don't know. Why don't people like me?
  2. First I'd like you to take a deep breath. Jobs can be hard to come by. There are a lot of people out there. Keep trying, and remember to always put your best foot forward. Try to find people to review your resume, work on your handshake, and maybe do a few mock interviews. It can seem tough but just keep trying and don't give up. It's not that people don't like you. I bet you're a wonderful person, you just need to find the right job for you and the right place.
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  3. It’s really as difficult as accepting yourself. Humans are not perfect. Humans make mistakes. Unless you are an alien or something of that nature, you are human—ergo, you are not perfect, and you make mistakes.

    Therefore, one large step for mankind would be to learn to accept yourself. That you fail. That you’re allowed to fail. That these are not signs of you being a waste of space, but that you need to try harder. That you are still worthy of the effort you (and others) put into yourself.

    ‘You are, at this moment, everything you need to be.’ You are breathing. You are living. You are alive; this is all you need to be.

    “How do I feel OK about myself if I fail at nearly everything I try?” By accepting that you can make mistakes. That bad things can happen. Holding the thought that you’re going to fail before you even begin isn’t going to help your prospects any. All you can do is brush yourself up, put your best you forward, and if that isn’t accepted, then it isn’t the fault of you ‘being a failure’ or ‘not doing anything right’. It just means that situation (or that job) is not for you, and you can always try again.

    A little patience and love for yourself goes a long way. I know how daunting of a task that is, but there’s no hurt in trying.
    #3 castigat, Sep 28, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2014
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  4. As long as you keep trying you are never a failure! You only fail if you give up.

    You should never feel bad for long when something doesn't work out. Just take the lesson from it! If you know what went wrong, fix it for next time. If it was just a case of bad timing or bad luck, then realize that life is preparing you for something else!

    People have a TON of years to live, if everything worked out for you too soon, you'd spend the rest of your life pretty bored and being very uninteresting. O_O This is experience for the story of your life.
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  5. Don't let job hunting get you down.

    I have a BA and an MSc, which puts me into the top 1% of the world in terms of education. I went to good universities and got good grades from a good school, I had part-time jobs and I even did some volunteer work. My CV looked good, and it presented me as a well-rounded person with varied interests and a wide range of skills (and maybe some b/s too, but who's keeping track?)

    When I completed my Masters Degree, I couldn't find a "real" job for love nor money. Fortunately, I'd been working part-time in a pub kitchen during my course and I was able to get more hours there to keep the money coming in whilst I looked for work, but all my education and extra-curricular activities meant nothing when I never got past the first hurdle. The truth was simple; the job market was hell. There were hundreds of people applying for every job, and, for all of my fancy education and volunteer work, there was another person with a decade or more of relevant workplace experience. I simply could not compete.

    It took nine months for me to find a "real" job (that's no disrespect to anyone working in a pub, I loved that job, but it was never going to be my career, and my parents gave me hell for even considering it) and even then, the job I found was utter garbage. I was paid as much as I was earning working in the pub, but I was now sat behind a desk and wearing a shirt and tie each day. It was a step up, but it was a miserable job and it made me miserable. I felt like I put my entire life on hold for the years that I worked there, building up enough "experience" to move on to a good job. Now, though, I have that job, and it's great. I've got a good job at a progressive company, I've bought a really nice car in the past six months and I'm now saving up so that I can put a deposit down on a house next year.

    I got rejected more times than I could keep track of. I would apply for fifty to a hundred jobs each day, and I wasn't just applying for any old job, I was applying for jobs that said "no experience needed", and for jobs where my degrees were relevant. It's not great, and you do feel like you're doing the best you can and getting nowhere, but you have to keep plugging at it. I got a job, and it was lousy, so I kept going, and now I finally feel like my life is moving in the right direction. Just keep at it, because as long as you're trying, you're not failing.

    And one final piece of advice that I learned; there's a big gulf between "failing" and "not succeeding". The world isn't so black and white, and you shouldn't be beating yourself up about it.
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  6. You are what you are and there is nothing else in the world you have to be. Give it a though
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  7. It took over a year for my brother to finally get a job, and it's not a very good one. As for me, well crap, I don't even want to try. The absurd amount of difficulty in getting a job at someplace simple and keeping it is really rather off putting. I'm not ready to deal with that kind of crap juuust yet. But hey, best of luck to you, you'll get there eventually.
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  8. Jobs are difficult. It takes time to land the right one. Have you had a job before? If the answer is no, then you must realize that the first job is the hardest to land because the employer is taking a risk on you. If you are looking for your first job you have to bite the bullet and do the jobs that you may not want to do. (Fast food, housekeeping, janitorial, etc...) however, the fast food industry is the easiest to get into off the bat.

    You must have an air of confidence when you apply. Not cocky, but confident. If that's hard for you, fake it till you make it.

    If you'd like I can look over your resume for you. Just delete all your personal info so it's not floating around on the web.

    Remember, every rejection is a learning experience. Take what you learned from one job that didn't work out and apply it to your next venture. YOU are the sole person that is responsible for your success in this life. FIGHT for what you want, and when you ask for help, listen to the advice given, and take from it what you think is necessary. Do not be a victim. You are better than that.

    I know my advice is more "tough love," but if you truly want to get out of the funk you're in that's what you need. I know because I've been there. I've had to have people look down at me metaphorically on the ground and say "Nobody is going to pull you up. Put your hands on the ground and push yourself up. How bad do you want it? Show me."

    I am willing to help you with your career search if you need some help.
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  9. I'm feeling a lot better now actually. Finding a job as a teen is a lot harder because not only are you looking for your first job but you are also fighting with child labor laws and an already busy schedule. I haven't given up on it and I keep applying but sometimes when other things pile up on top of all the rejection it leaves me a little raw. Seeing all of these people respond makes me feel a little better. People are willing to help and knowing that someone cares really does a lot. Spending hours at a time filling out applications, perfecting a resume and such only to receive an automated email back saying we are looking for teens its hard not to take it personally. Being what I am seems to mean I'm not good enough to fold clothes or I'm to weak to protect myself from overwork. I hate feeling so worthless. Sometimes it takes a few messages saying you aren't to shake it off. Thanks not only to you for giving your time to reply but to everyone else who replied to this thread.