I Don't Know How to Help My Friend :(

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Faber, Nov 30, 2015.

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  1. . Alright so I've known her for over three years now so I know her pretty well. She's always has had these spells of a few days to a week where she would be rather anxious and such every once in a while. Like it always worried me in the past but it's gotten worse. We're in our senior year right now so in the beginning of the year it made sense for her to be acting that way, but she's been all anxious and exhausted since the beginning of school! We started in the beginning of August so she's been like this for over four months now! I've also noticed that she has become a lot more clingy in the past few weeks. I don't know what to make of this. The fact that this has been going on for so long frankly frightens me. I'm afraid that she's going to have a mental breakdown or something eventually (especially since college acceptances will be coming up in a few months). She's one of my best friends and I would hate for her to have to go through something like that. My other best friend (and hers to, we're like a trio) is worried to but isn't really sure what to do either and thinks I'm starting to overreact a bit >.<. My other friend says to corner her but she's the type who clams up really easily so we really only have one shot. Many people have come up and asked me if she's ok so I know it's not just me. Oh shit I really am at a loss right now. She was crying the other week and I was completely useless! I don't know what to do! I feel so helpless!

    Does anyone know what to do in this situation?
     
  2. Just be there for her. Emphasize that you will always listen to what she says, won't judge what she has to say, and will generally just be an ear to speak to and a shoulder to cry on (if necessary). Don't be pushy; don't force her to tell you anything, or put her in a position where she feels obligated to tell you something. Don't make her feel like she's done anything wrong. Just be there for her.

    Additionally, make sure she--and you, for that matter!-- have avenues of escape. What I mean is, have things you guys can do for fun, things that will take the stress off you, get the weight off your shoulders, and let you breathe a little. All work and no play, etc., etc.. I know the senior year is tough, and important, and it's work-work-work to get into that dream college (or whatever it is you want to do), but you must maintain some outlet, if just for your sanity alone. Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you for that.

    If you need anything else, just let me know.
     
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  3. This may sound like really harsh advice but the first thing you need to make sure of is not to get dragged down by your friend's anxiety and depression. The absolute worst person to help someone overcome anxiety and depression is someone else with anxiety and depression. It simply does not work. That's not to say you can't or shouldn't help your friend. It is simply to say it benefits the both of you if you are stable.

    So, first course of action; find someone you can confide in and find a venue to escape these feelings. Physical exercise is great, for one. Make sure that you can keep your balance as a person.

    Onto your friend, first see if you can find her some breathing room. Just like finding a venue for yourself, you could probably also use some time spent outside of her own head. Secondly, make sure your friend knows she can confide in you. Don't force her into a corner or anything, but tell her that when she is ready to open up that you will listen, keep an open mind and still be her friend. Basically reinforce trust. Thirdly, because if this has been going on for four months as you say, contact her family. If her relation with her family is poor, contact your school's counsellor. It may be that she needs professional help, but it is probably for the best an adult to make that call. I'm not implying that you are not close or mature enough, but it is a very stressful call to make and I read how her condition affects you. As a friend, it's not your job to cure her, but to support her and occasionally offer fun distractions.

    Good luck.
     
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