I confess....

I confess to missing my once best friend dearly, even after he betrayed me and blocked me out of the blue with no last messages to explain why or even say bye. </3
 
Fluffy said:
I confess that I sometimes need reminding of how appreciated and loved I am, so I don't wish I were someone else. I'm awesome, right? :[
Click to expand...

Fluff-san, you are super stellar rad awesome, in my book.<3

I confess to having intense crushes on fictional characters.
Examples:
Kratos from God of War, Axel and Riku from Kingdom Hearts, Venom from Spider-Man, Nightcrawler from X-Men, Shuyin from Final Fantasy X-2, Payne from FFX-2, Reno and Sepheroth from FF7.
<3
Oh, and Ada from Resident Evil 4.
 
I confess that I am not as strong as I want to be, and it makes it hard for me to deal with emotional things in my life.
 
I confess that I need to take better care of myself. I keep not letting myself have things simply due to feeling that I don't deserve them.
 
I confess that there are certain things about myself that I don't want anyone on Iwaku to know. I confess that it is because I think everyone will hate me for it.
 
I confess to have much more self-loathing than I have in the past couple years put together.
 
I confess to hiding my true feelings and expressing the words of " I love you ", when I really do not harbor such feelings for the said person.
 
I confess that the life is too easy for me to live.
 
I confess I have an eating disorder type thingy.
But I'm not all skin and bones yet, so I'm not changing my ways. Too stubborn.
I hate how stubborn I am..

I also confess.. I think I'm falling in love.
Which usually ends up bad.
 
I confess that I may be in denial about someone. But they cant prove it.
I confess that I have nightmares at night, even though I claim to be this strong woman.
I confess that I've been rejected merely by the color of my skin.
 
I confess that every time I look in the mirror I want to cry.I confess that I play videogames and Rp to distract myself from what a train wreck I am.I confess I'm in love with love.I confess that the next time someone tells me that they love me, I will probably break down crying. I confess that I ate all the frosting in the cupboard. I confess that I'm in love with a videogame character because there's nothing that I can compare to to feelings I get when he confesses his love for my character, and I can only dream of someone saying those words to me. I confess that I get depressed often because my life isn't going anywhere I thought it would be. I confess that I wanted to be in love and married by now. I confess that I thought that finding love was easy. I confess that I cry myself to sleep almost every night because no one is sleeping beside me besides my dog.
 
I confess that a full list of confessions from me would be very, very long.
I confess to being very shy in face to face encounters with anybody I am not familiar with, to the point I would rather hide in a corner by myself if I were at a party than mingle with people I don't know.
I confess that I am this way because of the emotional trauma I endured at the hands of one vicious bully after another as a very young child, leaving me untrusting and afraid of strangers judging me.
I confess that the aforementioned confession is why I have such a strong resentment of being genuinely mean to other human beings. Joking around with friends is a whole other story, I didn't lose my sense of humor after all.
I confess that my soft, bottled up core occasionally makes me feel like less of a man because very often I don't know how to handle my own emotions.
I confess there is a lot more that I am not able to share just yet. ._.
 
I confess that I am so wound up that even I can't get in anymore.

That I don't know what I want.

That I maybe holding back cause I secretly want to fail so I can go back to a life where I can get away with doing absolutely nothing with my life

That the majority of my life has been a rather large cluster of Denial

That I am terrified that I will going on living the rest of my life settling for whatever anyone else willing give me

That I am hurtin' to see my family right about now despite me moving out here to escape from them suffocating me.
 
I confess to being not as cheerful as I look lately, Which might or might not have something to do with my inability to use my hand.
 
I confess that I always feel as if I'm not good enough, no matter how many people tell me otherwise. And that it makes me push those whom I truly love away, especially in relationships.
 
I confess that it hurt, reading these posts. It hurts seeing all of this sorrow and pain. I was brought from a happy mood down into my common depression. Being able to help everyone, was one of my first thoughts. However, I also confess that I can barely help myself. For example, I came to this thread, to confess something silly (but true). Post after post, I slowly spiraled inward. All of my past, present, mistakes, attempted suicides, silences, tears, abuse, etc....all come up on me when I get like that. I bat around all my hopes and dreams, that come into question. It leaves me in a dark and dreary stupor. It leads me to believe that I am a sorry excuse for a person. It leads me to think that I have no reason to pursue my dreams. It makes me see that I will not be able to do what I want to do in life.

I confess...that I will never know what will happen. It scares me. I can be over-sensitive to begin with. I don't want end up as nothing. I won't get anything in writing, guaranteeing that my life will be worth something...so I think...why bother?

That's it for now...=/
 
I confess that here recently I started questioning my life. All these years I thought I was a good person, but I was wrong. So I tried to change and it awoken fears in me. A huge fear of my death, and the death of loved ones crashed down onto me. I confess I didn't take care of my body like I should, nor did I treat my family with the love the deserved. Now I fear I wont be able to fix myself or my relationships. Even though my life doesn't sound as bad as others I still feel like I am in a downward spiral. Despite stopping all my unhealthy habits, and knowing I am healthy doesn't seem real to me. I confess that I am afraid doctor's will find something wrong with me. Just like they already tried to convince me to get committed for a week, thinking it will stop my fear. How can you stop a fear of waking up and your mom not be there?

I also confess that my dad will never be proud of me as much as my sisters. I don't think I have the ability to accomplish all the things they have completed. I confess I don't understand how you can't be proud of someone for being them. I thought that's what they raised you to be, "Be yourself." doesn't seem to be truthful to me. I confess that I hope everyone is able to work out there problems, and realize they are special in so many ways. Despite everything that seems to be standing in their way.
 
I confess I let the one girl I ever fell in love with walk away,fully knowing I would never see/hear from her again, without letting her know how I feel.
 
I confess that each day, my already cracked and fractured heart gets a little more broken and I force myself to swallow the pain, wear a fleeting smile I find I'm losing the strength to make and sit back and watch while I'm powerless to do anything about it.
 
The Cake is a lie =D...nah ummm. I confess that I am sadistic and kinda evil at times. *Shrugs* Ah well.
 
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