I can't talk to girls!

[Minerva]

I've always been fairly brave, I can ride Roller Coasters, fly, Heck, even Skydive! But then I want to talk to a girl I like, and I can't do it. So now, there's a girl who I would be willing to spend all my time with, and I can't talk to her.
We already have a good relationship, and I feel like if the Relationship goes bad, then it will ruin our friendship. So, what do I do in this situation? Find another girl, or take my chances?

Note: I don't believe in the "Friendzone." I am friends with lots of girls, and sometimes I feel like it may be better.

 

[ElBell]

I've always been fairly brave, I can ride Roller Coasters, fly, Heck, even Skydive! But then I want to talk to a girl I like, and I can't do it. So now, there's a girl who I would be willing to spend all my time with, and I can't talk to her.
We already have a good relationship, and I feel like if the Relationship goes bad, then it will ruin our friendship. So, what do I do in this situation? Find another girl, or take my chances?

Note: I don't believe in the "Friendzone." I am friends with lots of girls, and sometimes I feel like it may be better.

When you say you already have a relationship, do you mean romantically? The way you worded that lost me just a little bit >.>

 

[Minerva]

Also, I believe in God, so I know that if it wasn't meant to be, he will have another plan for me, but I really hope this is to be.

 

[Minerva]

When you say you already have a relationship, do you mean romantically? The way you worded that lost me just a little bit >.>

Yes, probably should have worded that. I'd be willing to date her.

 

[Unsun]

The best advice I can offer is "be yourself" and if she doesn't see you for who you truly are, kick her to the curb. A bit blunt, but true.

 

[Minerva]

The best advice I can offer is "be yourself" and if she doesn't see you for who you truly are, kick her to the curb. A bit blunt, but true.

We are friends, I'm usually myself around friends.

 

[unanun]

Try talking to your mom more.

That wasn't a joke.

 

[ElBell]

Yes, probably should have worded that. I'd be willing to date her.

Okay, I believe I do understand your situation now enough to try and give my personal bit of advice on the matter ^^ Bare in mind though this is coming from a girl who in some senses is odd about such matters, but I do hope at least something I say helps you out.

If you and her really are close as friends, it shouldn't hurt things to just let her know that you feel a little different with her and that you do like her in a more than just friend way. I've often found that people appreciate just knowing that, and it also gives a little insight into your chances if you can see how they react to it while making you feel a little more relaxed that you're not gonna slip and catch them off guard if you say or do something. However, if you do take this approach, be careful not to be to tense or too forceful about it. You're not proposing marriage or trying to force yourself on her and guilt her into taking you on, you're just trying to inform her so she isn't in the dark about your thoughts and feelings.

Beyond that, I would advise you simple move slowly with things if they do take a turn for being more romantic rather than friendly. If you rush you may very well harm your friendship, but movingly slowly and feeling things out will make it easier for you and her both to spot if something is going badly and lets you see things that may damage you before they actually do any real harm. I speak from experience here too having tried to date a friend and known many others who've done the same, so this does at least sometimes work out.

And if things do not turn that way and she rejects you or something of the like, simply respect it and move on at the pace that comes to you. More than likely you'll need time for that since these feelings don't usually vanish overnight, but if she is a good friend to you she should be able to respect that and not toy with you as you move on from your feelings and resume being friends.

Well, I think that's really all I do have to say. It's tricky not knowing her too well and being an oddball myself, but I really do hope this helps you out in some way. And if as you go you need someone to talk to, I'd be happy to talk with you about it. ^^

 

[Minerva]

Okay, I believe I do understand your situation now enough to try and give my personal bit of advice on the matter ^^ Bare in mind though this is coming from a girl who in some senses is odd about such matters, but I do hope at least something I say helps you out.

If you and her really are close as friends, it shouldn't hurt things to just let her know that you feel a little different with her and that you do like her in a more than just friend way. I've often found that people appreciate just knowing that, and it also gives a little insight into your chances if you can see how they react to it while making you feel a little more relaxed that you're not gonna slip and catch them off guard if you say or do something. However, if you do take this approach, be careful not to be to tense or too forceful about it. You're not proposing marriage or trying to force yourself on her and guilt her into taking you on, you're just trying to inform her so she isn't in the dark about your thoughts and feelings.

Beyond that, I would advise you simple move slowly with things if they do take a turn for being more romantic rather than friendly. If you rush you may very well harm your friendship, but movingly slowly and feeling things out will make it easier for you and her both to spot if something is going badly and lets you see things that may damage you before they actually do any real harm. I speak from experience here too having tried to date a friend and known many others who've done the same, so this does at least sometimes work out.

And if things do not turn that way and she rejects you or something of the like, simply respect it and move on at the pace that comes to you. More than likely you'll need time for that since these feelings don't usually vanish overnight, but if she is a good friend to you she should be able to respect that and not toy with you as you move on from your feelings and resume being friends.

Well, I think that's really all I do have to say. It's tricky not knowing her too well and being an oddball myself, but I really do hope this helps you out in some way. And if as you go you need someone to talk to, I'd be happy to talk with you about it. ^^

Thank you! I will try doing that!

Try talking to your mom more.

That wasn't a joke.

Ok.

 

[Kestrel]

Take a chance. Don't overthink it, just do it.

Physical confidence and emotional confidence may be different things. However, they come down to the same thing. You have to take that first step in order to improve it. If you fall, learn from it and stand back up again. If you worry about your friendship, don't. If she's a friend worth keeping, worst case scenario is that things will be awkward for a couple months. If baring your feelings ruins the friendship, she probably wasn't a friend worth keeping anyway.

I know it all seems and feels so much more complicated, but what it really comes down to. You gain absolutely nothing by doubting and waiting too much, it'll just make it more difficult to ask because you've put a lot more time and emotion in it. Plus you're young, mate. It's not like you're asking her to have and raise your children ;p Just ask her on a date to find out if there's more between the two of you. Then, all you gotta do is take a deep breath and be respectful of her space and decision. You'll be fine.

 

[Razilin]

I was afraid to talk to girls once.

Then that got boring.

So I started talking to them. They seemed to like my passion for nerdy things, because evidently was a big turn on.

Problem solved.

 

[Space Cowboy]

I was afraid to talk to girls once.

Then that got boring.

So I started talking to them. They seemed to like my passion for nerdy things, because evidently was a big turn on.

Problem solved.

This, pretty much.


Let go of your fear. Fear leads to hatred, etc., etc.. Really though, just jump, pull the trigger, what have you. It does you and no one else any credit to have fear over something so... Tiny.

 

[Razilin]

This, pretty much.


Let go of your fear. Fear leads to hatred, etc., etc.. Really though, just jump, pull the trigger, what have you. It does you and no one else any credit to have fear over something so... Tiny.

Fear leads to hatred, hatred leads to anger, anger leads to suffering, suffering leads to ... friendzones? tugging the sausage? lonely nights with and adult beverage?

wait, i'm confused....

 

[Minerva]

Fear leads to hatred, hatred leads to anger, anger leads to suffering, suffering leads to ... friendzones? tugging the sausage? lonely nights with and adult beverage?

wait, i'm confused....

But I can't have adult beverages!

 

[nyther]

Confidence.
Confidence with no game.
That's what works for me.

 

[Minerva]

So, I worked up the courage to ask her, and she said yes. Our first date is on Saturday.

 

[Razilin]

So, I worked up the courage to ask her, and she said yes. Our first date is on Saturday.

problem solved.

you come

you saw

you conquered

maybe on the fourth date, you'll come again

PUN PUN PUN PUN

 

[Minerva]

So, my first date went well! Really well!
I actually like her.
Too bad I won't see her all next week.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

This seems to already been covered, congrats.

But I have to echo the advice of others, be smart about it, take it slow, don't take rejection personally etc.

Also, I believe in God, so I know that if it wasn't meant to be, he will have another plan for me, but I really hope this is to be.

Back when I used to be a Christian there was this one story I really liked (which I feel applies here), and would tell other Christians who also liked it. So I'm going to share it now.

(Which is my reason for posting after she already said yes btw. I feel like this might help you out somewhat).

One day this man fell into an ice cold river and was swimming his way towards the shore (don't ask how he fell in the middle to begin with).
On his way a rescue boat showed up and tried to save him, to which the man replied "No thanks, God will save me".
Later on a second rescue boat showed up and tried to save him, to which he replied again "No thanks, God will save me".
Then a rescue helicopter came and his response once again was "No thanks, God will save me".
This man ended up dying before reaching the shore.
Once in Heaven the man walked up to God and asked "God why didn't you save me?".
To which God replied "Dude, I sent you two rescue boats and a helicopter! What else do you want?".

In other words, you don't always need strong/direct intervention from him.
Just try to live your life normally, a lot of the time it's acting on the small/practical things that take you furthest.

 

[Orochi]

People mistake my weirdness and stupidity for self-confidence. Soon, it became "classic orochi" even though I just do stupid shit that lands me in troublestory-worthy situations.

They seemed to like my passion for nerdy things, because evidently was a big turn on.

This. Passion for anything is a big plus. Comic books, sports, cooking, it doesn't matter. If you're passionate about something, do not hide it!



Also, grats on the successful dates! Here's to many more to

Spoiler

come.

*rides off to the sunset with Raz*