I can't help it... it's genetic (k-mich)

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Nate hit the breaks hard seeing Brin. His hands gripped the wheel as he tried to calm down. Nate really didn't want to lose his temper with her considering she was just trying to help but he didn't want her help. He didn't want anyone's help. He just wanted to be alone but no, no one could leave him alone could they.
Drew took this opportunity to drag Nate out of the car. Unfortunately that small act only made the drunk teens anger flare.
"Don't fucking touch me!" Nate swung around and punched Drew in the face. In all this time, neither of them had actually talked about what happened with Sarah, mostly because neither wanted to ruin their friendship but now it was rearing it's ugly unresolved head.
Drew stumbled back a bit, eyes wide. His shocked expression quickly turned to one of anger. He tackled Nate to the ground sitting up enough to land a few good punches before Nate kicked him.
"You were supposed to have my back asshole not fuck my girlfriend!" Nate yelled as he rolled on top of Drew landed a few good punches of his own.
"Get over it! I ended it cus you were my friend!" Drew argued shoving Nate off of him.
Nate frowned and tackled Drew down as soon as the other had stood. They both tumbled to the ground fighting out their hanger.
In the end they were both pretty bruised up, panting as they searched for air.
"Fuck you man." Nate huffed. He got off Drew, who lay on the ground dazed. Did he really just lose one of his best friends.
Nate tossed the keys to Brin's general direction, he wasn't looking at her when he did. He wasn't looking at anyone. He pushed through the oval of people and just walked away. He was mentally an physically tired and was starting to lose the buzz from being drunk. If they wouldn't let him drive he would walk. He didnt care, Nate just didn't want to be here.
 
Brin watched Drew drag Nate, who was fighting this, out of the his car. She sighed and started to walk over to them, and quickened her pace when she heard Nate start shouting and saw him punch Drew square in the face. She vowed to her self that this was the last time she would go to a party with Nate. If he wanted to do stupid shit, he could do it when she wasn't there and didn't have to deal with it.

"Nate, stop it!" Drew tackled Nate, which just pissed Brin off further. "Drew, don't fucking encourage him! You're making it worse! Just knock it off, will you? Both of you!" They'd managed to roll to the other side of the lawn as they pummeled each other, so Brin was practically chasing them. She had started to jog towards them and was close to where they were grappling in the grass when she felt strong hands wrap around her waist.

"Get the fuck off of me!" Brin struggled to free herself, but the person holding her would not let go. She was about to elbow him in the face when he spoke. "Brinley relax," he said, speaking into her ear. She could feel his breath on the side of her face and stopped struggling, recognizing the voice as Ian's. "It's just me. Relax, okay? They'll be fine, after they blow off steam. Just let them have it out and it'll all be over soon." She nodded and let him hold her, taking comfort in his presence. Moments like this, feeling totally helpless, made her feel the loneliest.

Ian was right. Soon enough the two guys pulled away from one another and the shooting stopped. Drew lay wheezing in the grass and Nate was stumbling away towards the woods. He tossed his keys in the general area of the car, presumably where he thought she was. Brin disentangled herself from Ian, more gently this time. "I, um, I should probably go check on Nate. Go and have fun. I'll come find you later."

She kissed him on the cheek and headed after Nate, who had a bit of a head start and was nearing the tree line. She wanted to go and get her coat, but she didn't catch up soon he'd be hard to track in the woods.
 
Nate kept going. Yeah it was the woods and around two in the morning but he was not staying here.
Drew grunted as a few friends helped him up. There was an awkward silence after Nate hobbled off. Yeah, he was a tad violent and loud when drunk but this....this was on a whole other level. Even piss drunk the spectators knew that something serious had happened.

Nate's panting became uneven as he felt a lump forming in his throat. At first his fogged mind thought he might puke once more until he felt moisture running over his cheeks. He brushed it away thinking it may be rain when it only continued. It finally clicked what was happening. Nate was crying.
Taking a shaky breath Nate leaned against a tree and looked up. He could see a sliver of the sky through the foliage. 'Pretty.' Was a word that came to mind as the stars shown down on him allowing him some visiblity.
There was a snapping of a twig that drew Nate's attention. He balled his fists up expecting Drew or some other guy coming to try and talk to him. His whole defensive stance relaxed only finding his sister.
He stared at her for a long time before speaking.
"She said sorry..." It was strange even to him how empty his voice sounded. "She said sorry, like it would fix it all. Like it would take away what she did. B she said sorry!" Nate's voice cracked but it wasn't in anger. "She tried to make every thing okay again and take care of me like she didn't cheat on me! Like she didn't sleep with my fucking best friend and drag me through hell! Like it would all go away with I'm fucking sorry!" Nate was shaking as more tears poured down his face but he wasn't aware of that. He was scared. "She knows, she fucking knows I would forgive her too! I hate her! Why?! It's not okay and it will never be fucking okay!"
 
Brin trekked through the woods, careful to pick her feet up instead of drag them, so she wouldn't accidentally trip on something. Her ankle was starting to throb dully, but the pain was so minor that she just ignored it. The uneven ground was made smooth with a blanket of snow, and in the moonlight the woods looked distorted, but eerily beautiful. Brin found it both creepy and breathtaking.

She followed the sound of heavy breathing, her own being slow and silent, and found Nate leaning against a tree and staring at the night sky. His face was shining silver, and Brin was perplexed until she realized with shock that he was crying. She went to take a step closer, still unnoticed by him, but she stepped on a twig concealed by the snow and Nate's head snapped up, his eyes wary and body tense.

"It's just me," she said quietly, watching as his posture relaxed. They stood in silence for a moment, and then Nate was talking. Not just talking, but pouring his heart out. She didn't know if he was talking to her or to himself, but when he started to cry again as he spoke she approached him. Brin let him say everything he needed to, standing before him as he got it all off his chest.

Once he had finished talking, she took a step closer and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her. His cheek against hers was cold from the air, but Brin didn't mind. "It will be okay Nate. Just be patient." She sighed and pulled back a bit to gaze at him, keeping her arms around his neck as she looked into his eyes. They looked black as the night, and were filled with rage, and resentment, but mostly hurt. Brin had a weird, indescribable feeling, seeing him like this. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
 
Nate took shaky breaths to calm himself as Brin pulled him into a hug. His arms automatically wound around her waist as he held her for dear life. Honestly, Nate felt like he was drowning, just like the first time. He nodded faintly as Brin comforted him.
Settling down, he pulled away but didn't go to far. He contemplated Brin's question. Could she do anything? She could but it was unlikely Brin would do it.
Nate's eyes looked into hers. His earlier pain and rage formed into a look of contemplation and then resolve.
Nate sighed softly as his eyes fell closed. He leaned his forehead on hers with a faint smile ghosting over his features. "You could...." He trailed off unsure of whether he should finish or not. "You might hate me afterwards..." Nate murmured tightening his hold, not painfully, to bring her closer. "...no...you will hate me..." Nate was only a few centimeters away from Brin's lips by the time he finished talking. He chuckled but the humor wasn't in it. Heaving a sigh he let her go and leaned back against the tree. "Sorry..." He mumbled absently.
Nate inwardly groaned. He wanted to be happy but he couldn't. The one person that could make him happy was untouchable if not by morality but also by law and he hated every second of it.
 
Brin silently awaited Nate's response, searching his eyes for clues that would hint at what he was feeling. His eyes, which seared into hers, appeared to be conflicted, and flickered with longing and desire. Brin closed her eyes when he lay his forehead upon hers, sinking into his embrace as his arms tightened around her.

Her mind flitted back to earlier that day, the odd feeling she had after Nate's trick, and the something that she had forced to be nothing sprung back up deep inside her, there while she was holding her twin. She didn't know what it was, and it was subtle, but it was definitely there. "I could never hate you Nate," she murmured.

She was aware of every inch of her body pressed against his through their clothes, which were totally inappropriate for the cold. Their faces were so close that she feel Nate's warm breath on her cheek, making it tingle from the heat. She didn't know what it was Nate wanted her to do, but she hoped it was what she wanted him to do, much as she hated herself for wanting it.

Brin stumbled back a step when Nate abruptly let go of her. She looked down at the ground and toed the snow with the tip of her shoe, wondering if she'd done something wrong, if he'd somehow figured out her thoughts. "Sorry for what?" She quietly asked, refusing to look up and meet his eyes. She should never have let her thoughts get the better of her. Brin had been perilously close to doing something incredibly stupid.
 
Nate shifted from to foot to foot. His hands were in his pockets to hide them from the cold as his gaze landed on Brin.
"Fuck it." He muttered before tilted her chin up with an icy cold finger and pressing his lips to hers. Nate hummed softly finally getting the one thing he craved.
His lips were cold but were still soft as they molded against Brin's. His finger on her chin moved up as his hand cupped her cheek. Nate wasn't worried about her kissing back. Actually he was fully prepared to be hit after this but his lips moved gently, neary apprehensively against Brin's.
Nate's heart hammered heavily as he allowed the burried thoughts and feelings resurface. He channeled them into the movement of their lips before trailing away with soft kisses along Brin's jaw. He kissed his way to her ear, nipping at her earlobe. "I'm sorry for that. Well, no, no I'm not. I've wanted to do that for way too long." Nate pulled away, but not fully with a shy smile. He felt happy here with her but reminded himself that at some point he needed to return to reality.
 
Why did she have to be so damn stupid? Nate probably noticed how eager she seemed, and that was why he pushed her away. Brin mentally punched herself. She had let her feelings rise up, and this is what she got. She could have at least held them down until she knew what they were. Brin didn't dare look up and make eye contact with him, so she couldn't try and read Nate's expression to try and figure out what he was thinking about. She heard him mutter something under his breath, and then felt his fingers try and lift her chin. She resisted at first, scared of what she'd find in his eyes, but he was persistent and didn't let go so she let him guide her face up to look at his.

Brin was about to open her mouth to try and come up with an excuse, or to change the subject, but it was all she could do not to fall over when instead of berating her Nate kissed her. Brin wished she could say that she didn't want it, that it didn't feel good, but that would be a lie. Her mind spun as his smooth lips pressed into hers, and she closed her eyes. Nate's kiss was hesitant, but had no reason to be; she wanted this. Brin let herself be kissed, afraid that if she moved, or made so much as the smallest return to his kiss, the veneer would shatter and she would find herself alone in the woods.

When his kiss left her mouth and trailed smaller ones along her jawline she arched her neck away from him, her hair falling away to reveal her exposed neck. She didn't dare open her eyes. Not seeing what was happening, just feeling it and reveling in the sensations, made it so much better. Maybe if she never opened her eyes again this would never end, and she could stay in this moment forever. She smiled at what Nate whispered in her ear, glad to hear confirmation that she was not alone in her desires. Though, the kiss itself was proof of that. "I'm so glad you did," she said softly. And she was.
 
Nate pulled back enough to look at Brin. He caressed her cheek, a smile forming on his face. Nate was determined to make this moment last. Who knew what would happen later on.
"Brinley..." Nate whispered softly, forehead resting against hers. Nate's lips pressed against hers. His hands moved down to her waist pulling her closer if possible. Nate just wanted as much of Brin as he could get right now. He waited too long and was nearly melting at each meeting of their lips.
 
Brin leaned her cheek into Nate's hand and smiled back at him, a bit sheepish now. She wasn't really used to touchy feely moments, and wasn't sure what exactly the situation called for. She ignored her brain trying to figure out a game plan and just enjoyed the moment free of her conflicted thoughts. "I love the way you say that," she said, bringing a hand up to trace his jawline and then his lips with her finger. She knew this was wrong, but it felt so right that she didn't care.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and this time when he kissed her she didn't just stand there and let him kiss her, instead kissing him back and using him drawing her closer as an excuse to press her body against his as much as she possibly could. She'd never noticed how perfectly they fit together before, the curves, angles, and planes of their bodies aligning perfectly. He was just as good a kisser as he'd claimed to be earlier. No, better. She pulled back, stealing a quick kiss before speaking. "We can't stay out here forever. People will start to wonder if something happened to us. We didn't exactly leave quietly."
 
Nate laughed through his nose and smiled. "Yeah, uh, sorry about that.." Nate nuzzled his sisters cheek affectionately. His arms wound around her thin frame embracing her. He stood there for just a moment longer. He wanted to bask in the beauty of the moon shining on the nearly untouched snow, the one woman he loved with all his heart, and the perfection that had been there's.
"We should go." Nate admitted Brin was right. His movements and words were reluctant as he disentangled them. Nate was instantly hit by the bitter cold. He shivered and wrapped his arm around Brinley to keep her warm.
Nate walked with her back to the party. Nearly everyone had gone back inside.
Ian stood off to the side waiting for Brin to return. He smiled seeing her appear. It faltered seeing Nate. His presence made Ian a little hesitant as he approached the duo. "Forgot to give you my number." Ian said handing Brin a piece of paper.
Nate let go of his sister, heart squeezing painfully in his chest. He began to walk to the car as Ian leaned in and kissed Brin.
Nate gritted his teeth and picked up the keys. He ignored them and started the car forcing himself to not look at them.
 
Brin nudged him playfully grinning widely. "Don't be sorry. Just keep your cool when we go back and try not to break anything or get into any fights with anyone. Oh and, you're officially cut off. No more booze for you, not for the rest of the night. No drugs either. You need to take a break from that kind of shit for a while." Brin hugged Nate back, breathing in deeply the scent of him that clung to the sweater he was wearing. Much as she loved the smell, and wanted to wrap herself in it, she also had an intense desire to rip it, along with the rest of Nate's clothes, off right there in the woods where they stood.

"Yeah," she murmured into his chest, squeezing him tightly, "you're right. We should get back." When Nate let go of her she realized just how cold it was. She rubbed her palms on her arms to warm them up and let Nate wrap his arm around her as they walked back to the party. It looked inconspicuous enough, nothing more than a brother shielding his sister from the cold. Brin saw Ian sitting around with some friends of his. He smiled at her, but she noticed how it wavered when he saw Nate. Brin realized that while both guys had been at the party the whole night, they hadn't directly spoken to one another.

She smiled at Nate and left him behind to go say goodbye to Ian. "Hey," she said, smiling at him as he stood up to greet her. "Thanks for waiting up. I just had to take care of some things. Let's just say that tonight definitely didn't go the way I thought it would."

"It's okay, don't worry about me. Is everything okay with your brother?"

"Yes, thank you for asking." Brin looked to where Nate was standing, a few meters away. "I should, um, I should probably get going. I need to get Nate home and I don't want him driving. It was really nice to meet you." She placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled, before turning away.

Ian caught her hand. "Wait here." He ran inside and returned a moment later with Brin's coat and a scrap of paper. "Here. I forgot to give you my number earlier. Give me a ring sometime. You don't have to, but I'd be happy if you did." He leaned in and kissed Brin briefly on the lips, less hurriedly than their earlier drunken makeout session. Brin kissed him back. "Have a good night, Ian." He smiled and nodded, handing her the coat. "You too."

Brin turned away and walked to Nate's window. She knocked on it and waited until he rolled it down. "We're taking my car. Leave yours here and we can get it later. I don't want you driving. And this isn't a request." She walked a little ways down the road and got in her car, staring the engine to warm it up and waiting for Nate.
 
Nate had tried hard not to look and ignore the two. He really, really, really did but somehow his traitorous eyes landed on the pair mid kiss. Anger welled inside of him. Nate wanted nothing more than to go over there and beat Ian's face in for even looking in Brin's direction but despite what when on in the woods he didn't have the right. Nate realized he would never have the right because he was Brinley's brother and that wasn't his place to beat guys off of her so he could keep her all to himself. He shouldn't even want that but here he was, disastrously jealous over Ian and the way they could just be and not half to hide anything.

Nate glanced up at his sister pouting. He wasn't even that drunk anymore. "But B! I can totally dive....I mean drive!....Fuck." Nate knew with that slip up he stood no chance.
Groaning and muttering a string of silent curses, Nate turned his car off and slid into the passenger seat. He stayed quiet not really sure what to say. What could he say? Brin was acting normal about it all but she was always put together. Nate wasn't. He was emotional and awkward and had nearly no game when it came to girls he actually liked. About halfway through the ride Nate had geared up enough courage to silently slip his hand into Brin's free hand, interlocking their fingers.
 
Brin didn't really know what to say on the drive home, so she stayed quiet. The silence was deafening, but she hated the radio and didn't want to use it just for the sake of breaking silence. Besides, there wouldn't have been any good music on this late at night - or this early in the morning, depending on how you looked at it. Her mind was racing, running through all the things that had happened that night.

She felt bad for Ian. Brin genuinely did like him, and could see herself dating him, but at the moment she just didn't think that was going to work out. Brin also had no idea what would happen between her and Nate now. Maybe what happened in the wood would be a one time thing that never happened again. This idea was proven wrong when Nate slipped his hand into hers. She didn't say anything, just kept driving.

Brin remained quiet on the way inside the house, hanging her coat up in the rack, slipping off her shoes, and setting her bag on the table by the front door. She stood there, not sure what to do next.
 
Nate kept his eyes down as he walked into the house. The tension was palpable and he was hesitant to speak. Nate opted just to slide off his shoes at the front door.
Brin was standing in the living room like she was expecting him to do something, but what? Nate wasn't sure if the should ignore what happened or not. Personally he opted not to ignore it. He had never been happier before and he didn't want it to end but this might be one sided.
"C'mon." He sighed as his arms moved around Brin. He lifted her up and carried her upstairs. If she didn't want to make the first move, Nate would.
He carried her in to his room and plopped her on to his bed. He offered no explanation as he peeled off his shirt, tossing it off to the side. Nate crawled on top of Brin, left in only the jeans he had been wearing earlier.
"It's bed time." Nate basically fell on top of Brin, face tucked into her neck, as he nuzzled into her. "We can talk tomorrow." Nate knew at some point they had to talk about this and it had to be before their parents came home. "Love you." He mumbled groggily as Nate placed a soft kiss to the underside of Brin's jaw and settled back down allowing sleep to take over.
 
Brin closed her eyes, deep in thought. She desperately wanted to say something. No, that wasn't true. She didn't want to talk about anything; She wanted to do something. She was Brinley St. James, and Brinley St. James feared nothing. She faced off against guys all the time, held her own in a fight, and was always unapologetically herself, even if it wasn't who people wanted her to be. Boldness was her friend, and timidity was not in her vocabulary. So why the hell was she standing there like an idiot?

Brin's thoughts were cut off abruptly when she felt her legs be swept out from under her. Brin gasped at the shock of her sudden state of vertigo. She felt like she was falling, but before she could she found she was cradled safely in Nate's arms. "What are you..?" She broke off her question when she saw they were headed towards the stairs, and started to panic. Were they going to his room? Hers? If so, what did that mean? What did he plan on doing? How would she respond? She was getting into her own head and she knew it, so Brin tried to relax, which was hard to do considering she was pressed against his body yet again.

When he maneuvered the door to his room open and there her on the bed, Brin considered jumping up and running to her room before he could stop her. But she found herself frozen when Nate took off his sweater and shirt and then practically leaped on top of her. She'd seem her brother shirtless before, and had hugged him shirtless before, but he'd never been lying shirtless on top of her, kissing her on the neck after they'd made out in the woods not even an hour earlier.

For twenty minutes she lay there, waiting until she knew from his deep, even breaths that Nate was fully asleep. She gently rolled them over so that she was on top of him, and then disentangled herself from his limbs and climbed off the bed. She kissed him on the forehead and then turned and hurried into her own bedroom. She didn't bother to put on pajamas, just stripped out of her jeans and shirt and getting into bed in a bra and panties. She was asleep almost immediately.
 
Nate woke up the next morning with a splitting head ache. He groaned and sat up. He felt alone, perhaps that was because last night was a blur and he was used to having someone to kick out on mornings like this.
Nate was thankful his blinds were closed and lights off. He tossed off his blankets and walked his aching body to the shower. He looked himself over in the mirror. His left eye was brandishing a purple bruise. Nate snorted and stepped into the shower.

As he cleaned off the dirt from his apparent fight, images from the nought before flashed into his mind. He remembered Sarah. She had come to take care of him. Then the fight with Drew. Nate wasn't sure what inspired that and for the life of him remember. Then he recalled the woods, his sister finding him, them kissing. His heart skipped a beat. He kissed her. He actually kissed her and she kissed back. There was no way he would ever forget that. Nate remembered Ian and his temper flared but he swallowed it down.
Nate turned off the water after it ran cold and pulled on some jeans and a hoodie. His hair was damp still as he made his way down stairs. He was nervous about seeing Brin but they needed to talk.
 
Brin woke up to the sound of. Nate banging around somewhere in the house. Normally she could sleep right through anything short of a nuclear holocaust, but today she startled awake, her pulse racing in her ears. She figured she must have been having a nightmare. She stumbled out of bed and stretched her arms above her head, grabbing the railing of the four poster bed and hanging from it to loosed up her back. Brin sighed, and then yawned loudly. Her head felt like it had been stuffed with gauze.

She exited her room and dazedly made her way to the stairs and then down into the kitchen. It wasn't until she realized she hadn't put socks on and looked down at her feet, which were bare and cold against the tile, that she noticed she wasn't wearing any clothes. "Shit," she mumbled, looking up to find Nate sitting at the bar and staring at her, a spoonful of cereal stopped midway to his lips.
 
"Uh...." Nate slowly lowered his spoon back to his bowl as he straightened himself. He had been leaning over the counter lost in thought, thinking of ways to address last night without being too weird, when Brin had come down practically naked. Nate felt like there was a lump in his throat as his eyes cascaded down her frame. 'Stop looking! Dude stop checking her out! Seriously look away! Look the fuck away!....Damn she's really hot...'
Nate swallowed hard and ripped his eyes away. Clearing his throat the teenager carried his nearly empty bowl of cereal to the sink to avoid that awkward staring thing he just did. Nate set the bowl in the sink before turning back around. He stuck his hands in his hoodie pocket and looked into Brin's eyes. "We...need to talk B..."
 
"I'm so, so sorry Nate. I'm still half asleep and I didn't realize I don't have clothes on and I still don't have clothes on but I'll go change that now so I'm not standing here half naked we can talk after. I'm going to go now so I stop rambling." She stood awkwardly shifting her weight from one foot to another for a moment, flustered and at a loss, before turning and running back up the stairs to her room.

She threw on pajama shorts and a big shirt in her room and came back downstairs a few minutes later. "Again, sorry about that," she said, sitting down on a barstool. "So... What did you want to talk about?" Nate's body was tense, and Brin felt the urge to wrap her arms around him from behind, to press her body into his and place her head in the crook of his neck. It was all Brin could do to sit there and look at him, trying her hardest to keep the longing out of her expression.
 
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