I Am The Rainbow Unicorn

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Explicit Escritoire, Apr 4, 2013.

  1. [This should go in Counseling, shouldn't it? DERP.]

    Hello there! Today's thread is going to cover something I used to do a lot. In Highschool, people would call me the Rainbow Unicorn. Why? Because no matter your terrible situation, I can point out the positive and the optimism in it. Ironically, while I was highschool, I couldn't do that for my own problems. So, this thread is for you to pour some random problems at me, and I'll solve them with unecessary amounts of optimism! Yay!
  2. You're so sweet in trying to make everyone happy! :D I'll take it upon myself to give you one of my problems then.

    Lately, I've been really down because I still haven't found the one thing I want to do for the rest of my life. I have an idea but I feel that I'm losing time and I can't afford to jump in and chase it. Not to mention, there are other people in my life who I think won't really appreciate my choice. So, I'm sort of in a craphole here ha.
    Just needed to mention, this is something I've been dealing with since high school. @_@ Being in college and trying to find what you want to do with your life is not a good combination at all!
  3. Oh, this is going to be fun. I've actually had to deal with this one myself. I know exactly how you feel at each one of those points. When I was in High School, I thought I had everything figured out. When high school ended, my life was flipped upside down. I went to college for Culinary, but didn't enjoy it. I tried doing desk work, staying behidn a computer all day, but I hated it. When I finally found something I enjoyed doing, I couldn't do it for a whole quarter of the year because of my allergies. It was very frustrating.

    And then I realized that what I want to do is all of that combined into one. I love staying at home and doing things like cooking, I'm up and about all the time. I also like staying behind the computer sometimes, because I love to manage things and help others. I love the idea of being a highly viewed member of a site, or somebody who does everything they can to help out. I also love some other things involved with this dream occupation, but that's a different story. This dream job is none other than! A stay at home wife~

    Try being in my shoes, telling my christian family and my preacher father that as a male, I want to stay at home and do house work all day while leading groups of virtual people across adventure realms. They still give me crap about it. But I enjoy doing it. My advice to you as a person is to never give up on what you want to be, regardless of what anybody thinks. One day, they'll realize that your life is your own, and that they should love you for what you want to do and what you are, but by that point you will have already passed up the chance to be what you want to be.

    Don't build your life around them, build it around yourself. If they welcome you back into their life, which I'm sure they'll do, then you'll both be better for it.

    This problem actually reminds me of the My Little Pony. In the show, there are three fillies who are trying to do whatever they can to get their cutie mark, which basically describes what they're best at and what they're meant to do. You'll find that what they're meant to do might not actually be a job at all. For example, Pinkie Pie runs a bakery, selling sweets to all of Ponyville, but her one true talent is making others laugh and throwing great parties. What you're meant to do might not be a job, though don't take this as me telling you not to get a job! But just stop for a minute, think back on your life. Do you have a default? Something you do when you're upset? I clean, cook, or write about sex.

    This whole thing is kinda skipping all over the place :p I'ma stop here and see if this all helped you out.
  4. T^T Oh, you are so very awesome. <3 Thank you! xD Haha In some way we sort of have something in common, where I also thought I had everything figured out when high school ended and went to a super expensive college for it, obviously blew up in my face and I had to transfer. I'm a type of person who always puts others before themselves and worries about being a huge disappointment (sigh, strict parents who I know who love me but pressure me to be the best of the best).

    I honestly don't really have anything to do when I'm upset, I usually pout or push my emotions down and bury them in a black hole somewhere. Also, before I found Iwaku, I hated writing. I used to dream of being a writer, and it got crushed when I was nearing junior year of high school. I actually wanted to go to college to major in English. I also found out.. I'm pretty lazy. ><; So, yep, there was too much work for me and so I sort of gave up on that dream. (I'm throwing all my problems at you, I'm sorry! O_O)

    I really appreciate it though, I'm sure you've been through much more than I ever went through and your post did help me. :) I just need to bring the pieces together, and be a little selfish.. Haha that's the hardest part. ^^;
  5. Indeed it is the hardest part. And I'm glad my post helped you!

    Sometimes you have to be willing to deal with a lot of work to get your reward. No pain, no gain as they say. The most important thing I can say to you right now, though, is that you need to find some sort of default or tick. Maybe a fixation, something that will help relieve your stress. I'll list some examples that I posted in another thread below here. These things are very important. Stress can be our biggest downfall. It's worse than others opinions because it has so many sources. Any little thing in your life can add stress, and just one tiny bit of stress can be enough to cause you to flip, and you might hurt somebody. I would know, I once raged over stepping in something sticky. These things will help relieve stress and make life generally a lot easier to handle.

    Show Spoiler

    Defaults - Everybody has one. Whenever you're extremely stressed out, you revert back to a default. This isn't a bad thing! In fact, it's likely the only thing that will keep you from being even more hurt in the long run. My default is writing sex stories. I've done it since I was very young, and it has developed into something I do regularly. The most important part is that I do it for fun now, and not just to relieve stress! Of course, this default could also be something negative, such as a nail biting habit. I advise you to find some other default to rely on, but I can't judge at all. I, too, have stumps for finger nails.

    Fixations - Another thing that almost everyone has. Fixations are things that you enjoy doing to the point of them relieving stress and causing you to be relaxed. This can include: Hair Fixation - running your fingers through hair, playing with your hair, nibbling your hair or brushing your hair. Often your own hair.; Smell Fixation - Things like wrapping coffee grains in a paper towel so that you can smell it. Some people are very receptive to smells.; Oral Fixation - Things like chewing gum, sucking on lollipops, or basically anything to do with your mouth.
  6. Thanks, I will take your advice and find my default.. somehow. xD I'm glad you made this thread though, I feel better now from this. ^^
  7. I... I have a problem. I find it difficult to feel emotion. I find any smile I show forced and uncomfortable, regardless whether I am supposed to be happy or not. When people tell me to cheer up, it feels less like they are actually caring about me and more like they are being overbearing and hate me because they can't understand. When I frown, I can definitely find the displeasement to back it, but it seems someone has turned down the volume down on my internal conflicts, and find it difficult to really know why I was sad in the first place, and wind up feeling an undertone of sadness throughout my entire life. I think there is something wrong with my ability to feel sympathy or empathy, and when I see others in pain or peril, I intervene if I am able to, or just walk away murmuring on how I was glad it wasn't me.
    The only emotions I can grapple with effectively is calmness and anger. I fear what I am capable of, with a cool, collected fury that builds up, rolling around in my head. I never act out of passion, but reasoning. So while I rarely do lash out at those who wronged me, those who do earn my antipathy greatly enough face sophisticated attacks aimed at destroying much more than their present state.

    What is wrong with me? How can I fix this?!
  8. This problem reminds me of myself in a completely polar opposite kind of way. I'm super emotional and sensitive. I mostly react without thinking, through my emotions rather than reasoning. We seem to suffer from different problems and yet we have more in common than either of us probably realizes. With my issue, I simply had to come to terms with the fact that there isn't anything wrong with me. Being extremely sensitive is just part of my natural personality. Perhaps for you, being much more insensitive is just who you are. Some people out there simply can't show emotion like others do. I have people who don't understand why I show my emotions all the time, and why I wear my heart on my sleeve.

    The truth is that I can't help it. When you get down to the nitty gritty of the entire thing, you can't help it. You'll always come back to it. It's never what your issue is, it's how you see it and how it appeals to you. I used to be very unsatisfied with my life. I always thought I would never find happiness because of how sensitive I am. One day I simply came to terms with who I am, and now I'm happier for it. I'm also a better person for it. I understand your fears when you're angry, because I rage in a very confusing way. For somebody who is always so built up on emotion, my actions become borderline calculating when my rage breaks. I think about how something will hit, how much damage it will do, how much it will come back to bite me later. Nothing I think prevents the end result, but it's the fact that I'm thinking when I'm that angry. It's scary, I know.

    What I think is that you need to come to terms with yourself. I know that you aren't the way you want to be, and I understand that. I feel the same way sometimes, and I used to feel that way every moment of my life. You just need to realize that you are who you are, and regardless of how imperfect you or the world may see you as, you're perfect in your own way. The infinite variables and differences between humans is what makes us so special. Should we really be so upset over ourselves just because life threw us the short stick? I can already think of ways that you can be a great person for others to be around.

    You're a rock. Somebody can pour their emotions onto you, and you'll be there for them. You've already said you will help somebody out if they need it, so I'm sure you'll help them through their time. At the same time, however, you may have issues expressing your own feelings. This can be extremely problematic, yes, but so can my side of the spectrum. Nobody promises you that life is easy, and nobody promises you that you'll be loved by everyone for who you are. If nothing else, you can put that old rugged expression on your face, give the world a great big smile, or even a tiny grin, and know that at least one person out there thinks you're perfect just the way you are.

    So to answer your question, you don't need to change. I know you may want to, and it might seem impossible, but you can't truly change until you're happy with who you are. Once you've hit that point in your life, the change has already happened.
  9. I haven't looked at it quite like that before... thank you. Now I realize, that though I can't change who I am, I can take this gift in disguise, and use it to become something better. Though my anger is something I must learn to deal with, this stoicism can let me become a key part of a group, and feel appreciated. Perhaps this attitude can help me build as a character, and realize the true potential of my 'Grey tinted Glasses'.
  10. Hello, back again to publicly proclaim my shortcomings to the entirety to the internet in hopes that an online therapist friendly person will give me aid with things I cannot do alone.
    Girl problems. I hate that blanket term, always have, because it sugar coated a series of similar complex social dilemmas that are a natural part of growing up, and now I am loathe to say that I am afflicted with these. A girl from my bus gave me an obscure Japanese snack food that I had to get from a specialty store that she had seen me eat exactly ONCE. She claims to have noticed a pack in her brothers room, and thought of me when she found it. It is... confusing at best, and outright suspicious when looked at in an objective light. I will admit, I am not experienced with this kind of thing at all, nor feel like have have done anything to warrant such attentions, either friendly or romantically, and honestly, I am not especially interested in having a social life.
    What course of action should I take? Should I take advantage of this opportunity?
  11. You'll have to forgive me if my response seems drawn out, hazy or watered down. Work has been taking a lot of my brain power as of late.

    It's hard to really determine a cause, or determine a course of action in response to hers, because the person that the problem revolves around is her, not you. If a problem revolves around yourself, you know or can learn all of the inner mechanations to help yourself get over it, deal with it or at least hide it until you're ready to fix it. With cases involving other people, it isn't nearly as simple. You have to decipher her intentions before you can respond to it in any way, or at least make an educated guess.

    These are a few things that may have caused her to take this course of action. She could legitimately like you, and is trying to find some way to make you happy. If this is the case, she's doing so very subtly. Now, since you said bus, I can only imagine you're in school. From my personal experiences in high school, girls and boys aren't generally that deep or subtle about their feelings. Those who are, bottle it all up inside. Does she seem to come across as one of those people? Likely not. She would either be disconnected from her peers, or a little too shy to talk to you at all. Did you feel like she came across as shy? Did she stutter, mumble a bit, or were her words clear?

    Another reason she might have done it is because she actually thought of you when she saw it. If she saw you eat it once, and she may not have seen many others eat it, it might have stuck with her. Mentally, she may have been curious about the food. She might have stopped and thought about it, for whatever reason. This is why things stick with me, because I get involved in its existence, and why things are happening around it. If this is the case, then she probably is more interested in the snack and why you like it than she is you. However, that doesn't mean she's not interested in you.

    What should you do? Well, I'd like to state an opinion followed by a few courses of action. I think that being anti-social does lead to some terrible problems later in life. I was a little anti-social in school, and I find myself having emotional issues. I'm extremely afraid of being alone, even though in high school I didn't want to be around others. There's a certain happiness that others can help you find in yourself. Without the happiness of other people, it's very hard to find happiness in yourself.

    I think it would be good for you to tell her you appreciate the gift. Don't really think too hard about it, just thank her. She may start talking back, and I believe you should try to have a short conversation with her. I don't expect you to run around having parties, it's something you slowly pull yourself into. You have to make sure you're comfortable with moving forward. Don't ask her any questions about the gift. It's best not to look a gift horse in its mouth, and you don't want to let her know you might assume too much, and scare her away. This will lead to her telling friends, and they will likely scorn you as well.

    Of course, this all tied into your earlier problem might make things a little more difficult. My suggestion is that if you ever have somebody interested in being with you, tell them up front. You don't want to let them figure things like that out. They need to understand that not everything is rainbows and unicorns.

    This was such a terrible attempt at helping -w-
  12. Your explanation of my recommended course of action made complete sense, was easy to read, and all in all, gave me a mild success. We shared a laugh about it when I thanked her, and had a small conversation about snacks. No matter what you think of your advice, I have jammed my foot in the doorway to a further explored social life.
  13. So, my problem has almost already been addressed. Like Jappy, I have issues with emotions, just on a less extreme note. (In my opinion at least.)

    For example, I didn't know how to react to the Boston Bombing. Many were shocked, afraid, or angry, but... I couldn't bring myself to really even show that I cared. Excessive hock, fear, and anger cloud one's vision. I'm a realist, who rejects strong emotions like that. However, I also will not bring myself to dwell on things that I can't change --there is no use. What's the point about grieving about someone/something? Nothing. No good comes out of it; frankly, it is counter productive. Who would wish misery and unhappiness upon their loved one? That seems to be the effect of death.
    If it weren't for others' reaction's, I'd be happy. And I do realize that "letting the public shape you" isn't really what you should do. However, I do care, somewhere inside, logical or not. There are a few cracks in my rationalism, that being one of them.
    I'm tired of being viewed. Of anything that isn't true really. (Not that I can change that. I'm pretty sure that there will always be prejudice and judgementality.) To match the rest of this, I've been viewed as apathetic, cheap, inhuman, and heartless.
  14. People call you inhuman, but how you feel is exactly why you are human. You're diverse. You're minority, but not as minor as you think, and minority definitely isn't a bad thing. They call you cheap, which doesn't even make any sense to me. They have no grounds for a comment like, in any representation of meaning of the word. They can call you heartless all they want, but it doesn't mean you don't have one. In fact, your heart is just less receptive to breaking. I understand that the fact that you're a little less on the emotional side is part of the only thing you're truly emotional about. Instead of worrying about that emotion, you should embrace it. This is for two reasons.

    One, you should never hate any part of your existence, of who you are. You can dislike it, and want to change it, but it will always be a part of you, even if you manage to overcome it. It's something that shapes who you are, something that helps you define the sort of person that you are. I understand your realism. I felt the same way about the bombing. I feel that way about all of the school shootings. People attempt to force the blame on people, because they are emotional. They say negative things, because they are emotional. When you think about it like that, it almost seems like a gift to be as emotionally stable as you are.

    I have a really weird emotional thing. I cry about silly things, not things that pertain to the world directly. Losing family, yeah. Not fitting in, used to. Mostly it's just commercials and having to cuddle a teddy bear at night rather than a real person, but I get over it. I accept my tears, and love crying. The reality is that the people who make a big deal over school shootings and the such aren't even really worried about it. They just want to be concerned about it because someone else is. You're not giving in to other people, and you're not shifting your opinions or emotions around others. That's good. If it weren't for people like you, the entire planet would fall to ashes every time something bad happens. We would have just laid down and given ourselves over to rulers in the past.

    You're not weak because of any of this. You're strong. You're just like Jappy, you're strong, and you should love and appreciate yourself for it. I know I do <3
  15. Your very kind. I'm not sure how you manage that either.

    What I find interesting is that once I was really emotional and sensitive. I cried at stupid things, and I was easily offended. I was easily overwhelmed. And now I'm a realist. (Go figure!)

    Also, I need to learn tact. I am honest, to the point of brutality, but whenever I try to speak with tact, it sounds off, at least to me. Others don't seem to notice, but it feels like lying to myself and others. It's either lying or offending someone. Both negatively impact me (I dislike when I hurt others or even say something that's contradictory to myself. Wohoo for being human! [I'm saying/typing that in all seriousness.]). However, I generally choose the "offend the other person", because it seems like the better-by-a-hair-line option. Now, I'm not trying to be mean or cruel, but I get that anyway. I also get the label of being haughty, since I demonstrate an easier, more effective way with such ease that it seems that I'm implying it's simple? I'm not sure how I got that label, but I know I have it.
    So, yea. Tact? Any suggestions?
    (By the way, almost all of my tact-VS-candor situations relate to art, usually visual. And my practically effortless looking work that doesn't show all the years it took to gain that skill doesn't help.)
  16. I'm not nice all the time, but who is? And I understand your transition. I developed similarly, except I still have a lot of my emotions ;w; and I do mean a lot. People change as they get older, and it's nothing to be confused about.

    And you're actually at a pretty thick brick wall when it comes to tact. My amount of tact is in the negative. I say things that offend people ALL the time, or that some people just plain don't agree with. And when they ask me for my opinions, I tell them my opinion, whether it's positive or negative. Online is different. Online I'm forced to think before I act. Tact is the difference between me being who I am in real life, and who I am here. That being said, I completely understand your desire to have tact.

    But, I don't really want to get rid of it. It's something I like holding onto because it's who I am. I mean, it has its advantages. If I make friends, they're generally friends that can handle my brutality and borderline attention whoring thought process. I don't have many friends, true, but I have many aquaintances. On top of that, the three friends I have, I know I can count on them for anything. If they weren't in the military, Alaska and Africa. But at least we still talk, and I know that we're eternally there for each other.

    I'm not sure how to tell you to cope with a lack of tact or to develop any tact. Mine is bittersweet. I love it and I hate it at the same time, I want to change it, but I want to be able to change back if I do. Most of the time if I wish I had more tact, it's because something happened regarding my lack of it. When I get home or to a place where I'm forced to think, it never seems to be quite so bad.
  17. Thank you for your words. ^^

    And now I shall throw at you one of the weirdest issues of all!

    I feel as if I am too blessed.
    I feel too lucky, to gifted, too fortunate.
    And here's a poem-y version.

    Life isn't fair --it never will be. I can't say that I approve of its kindness to me. I sometimes dismiss this luck and say. That it's my outlook that makes it this way. But down in my heart, deep down inside I think that these words are a lie.
    I've never been torn to pieces. Never been dropped on the ground. I've never been shattered. Yet I crack those around.
    Suffering is so unbalanced...
    Why can't I take on someone else's pain?

    While I'm extremely grateful of nearly everything, I wish that I could take on the burdens of others...
    I don't consider my life to have any 'major' problems.
    A distant friend of mine thinks that she does. I wish we could exchange lives just to see if what she says is that bad and to see what she would complain about in my life, if anything.

    I'm pretty sure that it is wrong to want to have some major disaster occur just to prove that I can handle it and that it isn't that bad when I'd most likely end up hiding in the corner as opposed to receiving my title of 'strong'.
  18. i have a problem T^T i need help

    ok so My engish is poopmy franch is poop to i suck at everything in class i have no friends i have no momther father anim living eith my anut then soon living with my nana the worst thing is i have been blullyed so that didnt help me learn i move to tronto and everyonhates my gust i didnt do aything i can out strong like saying hi and stuff no one is asxpting me and gusse what its a cathice shool and this month is axapents what the hell real but im leaving when its june 24th thank god i hate my life right now what should i do i havno one to talk to to cry on a sholder i dont have anyone to say i love you i have haters all around me i need out i need my garden angel its so deppersing every dy you go to school then come back to more peple who hate you