I had a dream about my grandmother the other night, and I woke up crying, because I knew what that meant. A few hours later, my mother called me in tears: my grandmother has forgotten to eat, and she sleeps more and more. They gave her less than a month. My mother told me some things about my step-grandfather, and I wished that she had told me about him sooner, so that I could have done something. I'm so angry with him that I don't even feel it. It just feels cold. My brother and I are going there, to be with my mother and grandmother, for what we know is the last time. Funny enough, it will be the first time that it will be only the four of us together, since we were small and our father left, before our stepfather came and brought three more siblings with him. I'm thankful that my brother will be there, he always makes things easier; when the emotions get too complicated, we can speak to each other in our strange twinspeak that no one else understands and know how the other really feels. Like agents in a hostile territory. I'll keep my mother grounded, when we go to find out exactly what is going on between my step-grandfather and my grandmother's head nurse; I'll prevent her from causing a scene and ruining our chances. My brother will keep me from having a breakdown, by letting me let down my wall and allow the deluge of impotent rage and sadness pour out. Until then, I just hope I don't have another dream about her, until I can see her again.