How Twilight Works

Blind Hemingway

Ancient Iwaku Scum from 2006.
Original poster
MYTHICAL MEMBER
Posting Speed
  1. Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
  1. Adept
  2. Douche
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
You're lucky I don't have to work until tomorrow, otherwise you'd really have to find a way to give me back the hours i'm about to lose.
 
I have to give Twilight credit for being the only piece of vampire fiction that has actually made me give serious thought to stabbing someone in the chest with a piece of wood.



Other than that, yeah, it's regurgitated pigshit.
 
So remember kids, Americans clearly love shallow characters that they can insert themselves in and now all you need is some pretty boy to be Superman/He-Man/Jesus and you have yourselves a soap opera best selling novel.
 
edward is a fairy with fangs.

Konrad Voncarstein and Nosferatu were here, Doucheward is smalltime.
 
Yep. That hits the nail on the head. Hey at least this crap is probably going to be over soon. :P At least that's my hope.
 
They're pullin' a Harry Potter and splitting the last book into two movies. I just hope neither of them fall around my friend's birthday like Eclipse did . . . *shudders*. Yeah, Bella as a character annoys me. Bella and Edward annoy me more than Romeo and Juliet ever will. (I'm only bringing Romeo and Juliet up because they annoyed me as characters, too). Lastly, I don't like it when creatures that are supposed to be calculated killers eat animals and have sparkly skin.
 
I thought it was because it was shit and women are shit writers/readers.

Actually I take that back, most people don't even read that much anyway.
 
THE THREE MAIN LESSONS OF TWILIGHT, THE SERIES:

1. Marry as early as possible.

2. Stalking = love.

3. The most important thing about you, girls, is your virginity.

This is why the Twilight phenomenon scares me more than a little.

That, and it's like a four book long abstinance rant. Seriously, Stephanie Meyer, fuck off. Let people decide themselves.
 
Man, I LOVE Twilight. XD

The movie made me laugh SO MUCH.

In all honesty, the basic idea of the plot had so much potential. But the execution was terrible. It's one of those stories where it might have been a really epic, dramatic, and very deep plotline had a crazyass fangirl didn't write it.

Fangirls have this amazing ability to turn a good idea in to something terrifying. D:<
 
This is why the Twilight phenomenon scares me more than a little.

That, and it's like a four book long abstinance rant. Seriously, Stephanie Meyer, fuck off. Let people decide themselves.

It's because Meyer is a conservative religious sort. The only real reason it's popular is because it is a soap opera for tweens and tweens are derps.
 
So this explains so much.

I have never wanted to read Twilight as much as I do right now knowing that is is about Legos!

Also... for the record:

OWD45048-XL_500.jpeg
 
Legos, that fight stuff. And werewolves that aren't really werewolves, you know?