How to get kicked out of Wal-Mart...

Pee on ALL the things.
 
Put on Joker outfit.
Go to various food sections, and start poking different foodstuffs repeatedly, with a knife.
If people look at you funny,, ask them "Do want to know why I use a knife?"
Then just make up something on the spot.
 
First, get all the pillows you can and take them to the candle aisle. Then proceed to pass candles around in a circle with your friends, sniffing all the candles. This gets security to begin watching you, but they can't exactly ask you to leave for that. Then, go to the any food aisle and talk loudly about how 'these damn munchies, man, they're making me want to eat a small child'. Cue more security. Next, go to the toy aisle, get a team of people on scooters and a team of people on skate boards. Race from one end of Wal-Mart to the other. Be sure to throw as many things at the other team as possible. Double points if you make it in an innocent's cart. By this time, they'll have asked you to put the things away, but haven't directly said to leave. Now, grab all the toy masks, axes, swords, guns, bows, etc. and proceed to have an all out war in Wal-Mart. To make things more interesting, crash into things when you die and have your friends cast a spell using glitter to revive you. By this time, security is fed up and asks you to exit the store. Finally, go outside, grab some carts, and separate into teams of two, one person in the cart and one pushing. Race from one end of the lot to the other. DO NOT HIT ANY CARS!! After about twenty minutes of this, security will have come outside, giving you dirty looks from across the parking lot. As soon as this happens, leave but don't let them see your vehicle or else they'll call the cops and report you. After following these steps, do NOT go into Wal-Mart for at least two weeks. If you were successful, enter Wal-Mart after the appropriate wait time and security will recognize you and watch you closely, but won't report you.

True story *nodnod*
 
As funny as this is... I don't entirely agree with causing more trouble for security than what they already have to deal with. :/ Morals people!

btw though, there used to be this funny list I got in my email a LONG time ago. I think it was like 50 things to do in walmart. Maybe google could help you find what I mean. You know you found the right list when it tells you to poor tomato soup from the cutlery section all the way to the bathroom.
 
Put on all my gay pride stuff, grab a few squirting dildos and run around the store squirting hot guys.

-shivers- I hate Wal-Mart with a passion. I'd probably get kicked out just for having my gay pride stuff on.
 
My friends and I decided to go to the local Wal Mart at 3 am. We got bored just walking . . . so we took our shoes off and began sliding down the isles. The employees surprisingly thought it was funny . . that is until one of guys laid down on the floor on his belly and had the others push him by his feet. He ended up knocking the line of bikes over. Needless to say we were kicked out and to this day we're warned and watched when we enter no matter what time of day it is.
 
Start following random customers around and shaking your head in disappointment every time they place something in their cart.
 
I have never even seen a Wal-Mart, so this is hard...

How about trying to order EVERYTHING in the store alphabetically? Or when ver somebody picks up an item, give them a lecture about it? Or trying playing shelf dominoes?
 
I think i would need to be that creepy stalker type.. Stare down employees who would happen to be stalking or reordering things. Each time they pick something up and move, get all bug-eyed and go. "Why you moving that, huh? Why you touching my stuff, HUH?" And when they run off to avoid the situation or try to talk you into going away, be all. "That's my sandwich man!"
 
I got kicked out once for falling asleep on one of the chair displays they had out. Apparently there was a "do not touch" sign on the back. I think I was framed. I don't remember a sign on that chair and the guy who found me had a stick up his butt.

I would go through the arts and craft section and spill the paint on the floor and try to make it look like someone was murdered there. Then when the store is busy I'd yell out "OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" to a random person and run away. Not sure if I'd get kicked out, but it'd be funny.
 
Be underage, go to the firearms department, take a non-cased weapon (Crossbow, Compound Bow, etc, I think. Mostly non-ballistics like that. Or small arms like pistols.) and say "Hey, I'm taking this"
 
I would set up a tent, then tell the other customers that they can come in, but only if they bring pillows.
Either that or set all the alarm clocks to go off at 5 minutes intervals.
Well, I could make a "bloody" trail to the womens bathroom with tomato paste...
 
Find a bed display and start jumping on it shouting "SUPERMAN!!!"
 
what if you hide in the dressing rooms and pop out and scare people :lol:
 
get heaps of candles in a circle and a doll and poke needles into the doll with an insane look on your face, then when someone comes up to you scream and cower away from them, yelling, "Get AWAY FROM ME!!!!" then look at them and pull their nose, saying, "Oh, its only you Voldermort. I couldnt recognise you, since you grew a nose. want to join me with my voodoo ceromony? the spirits are on our side today..."

that would do it! teeheehee!
 
Put on a hat with a Soviet Union insignia, gather a bunch of friends, get those toy dart guns, and stage a communist revolution while shouting in Russian.
... Wait, that's a good way to get arrested.
 
Envy D said:
I'd go to the the refrigerated section. Go to one with all the ice-creams. Keep my face completely expressionless as I take out each tub very slowly and throw it behind me (Maybe just "accidently" ease the lids off so that they spill out easier). Keep chucking one after the other for like an hour. Then I get the very last one at the very back last one, I break out into a smile and say, "Ah yes, this is the Ben and Jerry's I wanted!"
XD Don't have a Wal-Mart over here so I did the best I could think of!
Click to expand...

Legitimately the best idea so far.

My idea is in video form. I particularly like the one at 2:16.

 
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