Kestrel I don't think we're even disagreeing here. I think there's just been a miss-communication as to what I'm saying.
I think showering at different times is better, that way I won't be late for work.
Agreed. But Unanun saw it as a negative, so for their sake I regarded as such for the example.
You take the humanity and individuality out of the connotation of a relationship, which is for the majority an emotional bond.
You missed the point entirely then.
All I really said was people tend to be influenced by pro's and con's.
These could be emotional reasons too you realise.
Emotions and Logic are not mortal enemies where one cannot be using both (Granted I generally prefer logic. But combinations are a thing).
In fact anyone who goes into a relationship with that mindset is honestly asking for failure either way.
If it's only logic they lose the entire emotional bond to begin with.
If it's only emotion they won't ever be able to solve things rationally which will cause issues to snowball.
In fact, rational arguments their primary function are to make most of us feel good or bad about our emotional decision; they're influencers.
Which is exactly what evaluating pro's and con's do...
For god's sake I brought up a system that involves some level of reason, I'm not saying to go on an Inquisition against emotion or anything.
Deciding whether to stay together or not is not a calculaton.
You do realize I was not telling people to simply sit down and math it out right?
"That's where I'd say it goes to the "Pro's VS Con's" scale".
^Note the absence of word's like 'should'?
I was not suggesting someone do this, I was stating that this is something every human being in a relationship already does.
I mean have you ever broken up with someone "Just because", or was there always some form of reasoning behind it?
Did you feel you didn't connect well? Were you being hurt? Was the distance too great?
Break ups, marriages, getting into a relationship to begin with are all done for a reason.
Emotional reasons, but reasons where in their mind the pro's are outweighing the con's.
If you go with a pro and con list, there are numerous issues. One you already mention yourself is different values attached to different pros and cons. where the problem gets even more real is trying to attach an actual numerical value and balancing it against other feelings over an extended time period because we are acually kinda whimsical most of the time. ie; it can't be charted properly at all unless you go lay down under an MRI 7 days a week or something (and then there's still a large possibility of shit being skewed).
Except I never provided any numbers, I never even suggested that it should be numbered.
You evaluate the pro's and con's
personally, and then
personally decide for yourself what you want.
And like I said above, I'm not suggesting people randomly sit down and plot it all out.
This is an ongoing process, people are constantly re-evaluating things and making choices based on it.
This doesn't even limit itself to relationships, it could be anything.
Secondly, even if the outcome is mostly positive, a person can decide they want more. Or perhaps despite all the benefits, there isn't enough emotional attachment to these pros.
That goes back to the individual weighing certain things more or less.
The "Wanting more" thing would count as a con, the "lack of emotional attachment" would be a very big con.
In which case the person has still evaluated their reasons for continuing and not continuing and then made a decision.
Alternatively, someone has high hopes for a relationship despite it being difficult at the time.
Which can still be taken into consideration.
One doesn't need to be evaluating the immediate moment... That would be rather disastrous in cases such as a couple arguing.
This could be used in an over-all sort of deal.
Their emotional attachment is strong enough to believe that working harder on said relationship will in time better it.
This could count as a Pro. Or if we want to be technical a Proxy-Pro.
For it's not truly a benefit, but it's hope for a benefit, which in the case of what we're discussing serves the same function as being a reason to stay in a relationship.
Another way one could interpret it though (and this one does require me to change my earlier posts wording) is that a break up may not even happen the second there's more con's than pro's but rather once it's reached a certain threshold.