Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Hana, May 2, 2016.

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  1. I don't need advice or consolations, I just want a place to rant.

    Last week my father's side of the family tree was very disturbed to learn of something that has been happening to my aunt, the third eldest of my father's siblings. It turns out that her husband of at least 16 years has been having an affair with another woman, and they live in a small town or community. People gossip. In fact, this other woman's sister was the one who came clean to my aunt and her sisters about this affair that has been going on for a while.

    And then the other woman found out about her sister and has been verbally attacking my aunts and my family on Facebook. My aunts are not the kind of people who would back down from being verbally harassed. This has been going on since last week and I was the last to know of my family due to my studies.

    My aunt has been very quiet about this. In her community, people tend to point and gossip, and she is the principal of a school in the area. She's expected to maintain decorum, and in Asian societies, it's not really... Good to air out your dirty laundry or even talk about family problems. It's supposed to be private.

    However this has virtually been broken out on Facebook already and the people in my aunt's community and area have already been gossiping about her.

    I don't know why my aunt's the one being blamed and pointed at when her husband is the one doing the cheating. 'For such an educated and smart woman, she certainly couldn't keep her husband in line.' Words like that and worse have been passed around, and I don't even want to know what effect this is having on her. I'm in another province and city right now and there is little I could do.

    And apparently, this woman has told my aunt that 'she's lucky she's only the legal wife but not for long'. She intends to fight the rest of my family and my aunt just for this, she has been sending my aunts threatening and harassing hate messages, and she has not stopped.

    I'm worried most of all for my aunt and my cousin, a 15-year old boy who is currently furious at his father. Why are they the one being pointed and whispered at? Why is my aunt the one being snickered at and called 'not woman enough' to keep her husband?

    This is very upsetting. My father's side of the family has my dad as the eldest sibling of seven, three boys and four girls. It's bothering everyone now.

    And us cousins all love our aunt. She's very dear to us.

    But I can only emotionally distance myself from this because I can't afford to get caught up in this drama.
    • You Need a Hug You Need a Hug x 7
  2. Update:

    My aunts are being urged by her sisters to sue or press adultery charges against her husband and the other woman. But she doesn't want to, and it seems like she couldn't bear doing that. I don't know what to feel about her just letting this go, and not fighting for herself. I know annulment/divorce proceedings take a long time, but this is what it could end up as if she does sue her husband.

    She 'doesn't want to let this affect her anymore', she said. It turns out there was a scare/an incident in the past that had caused her tension/doubt with her husband already, and while that had proven to not be legit, it had caused her great stress and upset back then. It looks like she doesn't want to go through the same feelings/things again now, and that's why she's saying she won't let this affect her.

    But is this really right?

    The lady in the affair is being really spiteful and outspoken. It's as if she believes she is in the right for having this affair with my aunt's husband. She's proud of being 'the other woman'. She tells the people who are angry at her or telling her this is wrong that they are oppressing her, that she's going to fight for the man and she's confident she will come out on top. If my aunt doesn't do anything, that might actually happen...
  3. Fuck that cunt. Seriously.

    As someone who had this happen to their parents, it's a bit more personal, but I think the understanding is the same.

    My mother confronted the woman at her home and told her husband. Mom got some satisfaction at watching the husband thank her before laying into his wife. Evne offered my mom a free swing, she declined.
    • You Need a Hug You Need a Hug x 1
  4. I was also incredibly furious/upset at that woman, but there's not much I can do from my position. My parents have pretty much told me to stay out of it, and as much as it is tempting to somehow storm over to that lady and yes, take a swing at her and more, that won't help my aunt.

    Still, thank you for your sympathy.

    Things back with my aunts and relatives are currently messy, since that lady is fighting them. Further complicating matters is that my aunt's husband has turned out to have been having this affair for three years already.

    My heart goes out to my cousin so much, as my aunt's child. He's seeing all this happen and he's lost all respect for his father.
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