"... I'm sorry," he replied as he adjusted the knobs on the oven. "Trust me, if... I knew you before all of this, I would have moved somewhere better with you. I just wanted to be alone but now that I'm not, I... don't want to be here anymore," he admitted with a sad chuckle before moving to join the other once the oven was properly turned on and the pizza was baking.

"Seriously, I... am sorry. I wish you could be in a more hip and happenin' town like Philadelphia but this is my home, aha..." he whispered, his smile fading a tad as he joined the other, offering a quick kiss to the human's forehead. "I promise I'll try and make it as fun as possible here. I can get some video game console or whatever, maybe get a pool as long as you help set it up? I can go a little past the deck but not much further, so we can put it there. Um... I dunno, it's up to you, really."
 
"A pool sounds cute-- I'd love a pond in the back garden too. We could some fish, decorate it real nice with some of those cute gnome figures. I could dig the pond myself," he suggested eagerly, glancing outside with a sudden smile at the idea. Doing something like that would make the home feel more like his own, after all, and while he knew the pond wouldn't be perfect, he was determined to give it his best shot.

"Nah, that'd be adorable, right? And we could totally get a pool, obviously. I have one back in Philly, it's totally worth it," he continued, his smile widening at the conversation. If Leo wanted to get back to normal, there was no better way of doing that than talking about how to improve their home (and their lives) together.

"I could have cocktails out in the pool in the summer-- I could set up a barbecue too, that'd be neat if my sisters ever visited. They're not stubborn, not really, so they might come around to forgiving you, Leo."
 
“I dunno, they seemed incredibly opposed to forgiving me,” he reminded before deciding to get up and pour the other some water. “I don’t completely blame them... though I’m still fucking pissed that they wouldn’t listen to me. You don’t understand how fucking frustrating that is, you know?” He huffed, handing the water over.

“You know, you’re lucky my business is doing well,” he reminded. “I’m like a sugar daddy, paying for your cute pond and whatnot. I deserve something in response, you know. I’m such a good boyfriend,” he praised himself before offering a small smile.
 
Regardless of the fact Leo might be joking and playing with him, the possibility of it simply being a joke didn't really cheer him up all that much either. Nyle hated the fact he didn't have a job and was relying solely on Leo, and he had shown incredible resistance to using his boyfriend's money, only doing so when he literally had no other option. He had communicated that countless of times, so having it used against him (even in the form of a joke) immediately cut his generally happy mood.

"...I've told you I'm looking for a job, the options are slim around here. I tried going to that store but, funnily enough, they didn't want to hire someone they knew was gay. I doubt any people would hire me around here for that reason, so I'm not exactly fucking flush with case, Leo. You know that," he grunted angrily, his lips pulled into a clear scowl. "...You know I'll pay you back-- I'm not, like, using you-- that's not funny. Is that what you think, huh? That I'm some leech, sucking you dry? Fuck, dude..."
 
No, I don’t think you’re some ‘leech’. I’m joking, Nyle,” he replied, his smile dropping as he turned to instead look out at the snowy backyard. “I like working and it just so happens to create revenue. I don’t have much use for it outside of, like, entertainment so that just means that a good amount goes to you,” he explained, albeit with clear exhaustion.

“Besides, I like helping with money. It makes me feel useful, you know?” He added, deciding to at least pull a small smile. “The rent is cheap here and I’m making a lot of money, so it leaves me with a lot of cash I don’t need. You take your time, you know? If you want a job so bad, have you looked up some online?”
 
"You know I have, it's not easy. There's not many places that'll accept me. I haven't got college qualifications, I didn't do great in school, I haven't had much work experience. I'm not the best candidate for jobs-- I don't wanna talk about it. You can joke all you want, but you know I'm serious about this and I... don't find it funny, I guess," he admitted as he moved to the kettle, deciding on a cup of coffee purely for the fact it allowed him to turn his back on Leo, albeit for a few minutes at the most. Bickering and picking a fight wasn't something he wanted... but he also didn't want to hear that he was jobless while his dead boyfriend was managing a steady income. It was hardly an ego boost.

"...Just shut up about it, alright? I don't need your input. I know you're trying to help, I do, but... just leave it to me, I'll sort it out eventually."
 
“... fine, whatever,” he replied in a whisper as he decided to focus on his phone. He wasn’t one to react well when yelled at thanks to previous years of verbal abuse growing up so it was no surprise that his eyes began to water, though he kept his face turned away and focused on his phone - anything to keep from Nyle seeing just how emotional he seemed to get.

“I’m thinking about getting one of those online therapist,” he eventually suggested once calming his nerves a tad. “I mean, it’s true that I could use one, right? I’m... pretty fucked up, to be honest. It might... I dunno, figure out all this junk I’m always thinking about. I think it would help for when you’re out, you know? Cuz I’m gonna be honest, it’s lonely when you aren’t here.”
 
"Do what you want. I'm sure you could afford online sessions with your wealth starting to stack up, right? Do what you want, Leo. I think you're good without it, but what do I know? I'm not gonna be made to feel guilty about heading out on weekends, like normal people my age do. If you need a therapist to deal with something as small and minor as that, go for it," he shrugged, glancing back at the ghost with a weary frown. The sudden bickering (albeit heavily because of his reactions) was evidence that they were clearly underlying issues that hadn't been corrected or solved.

A few months away clearly didn't solve a single thing. It merely brushed his problems with Leo under a carpet for a temporary period, rather than remove them completely.

"I can't fucking do this, I... need to head out now; I'm gonna go to Gigi's," he decided abruptly, placing the teaspoon down with a groan. "I don't want to argue, we can talk later-- I just need some fresh air and to talk to someone about stuff, I... I dunno."
 
“... you could, I dunno, talk to me? If not, there’ll be a whole fuckin’ pizza going to waste,” he replied quickly, his fists clenched lightly. “I wouldn’t have to go to the therapist if you listened to me, and you wouldn’t have to hang out with someone as pathetic as Gigi to let out your problems, yeah?” He huffed, all the while trying not to let his anger simmer. After all, it was well known that he could cause a lot of damage when he was really angry.

“It would be nice if you just fucking talk to me. I... mean, I don’t talk about the things I want to tell you because I’m afraid you’ll leave but if you leave even after I don’t tell you? It’s... f-fucking unfair. I fuck up once a-and I know it was pretty big but that’s the only time I’ve ever hurt you and... and...” he stammered with a sniffle before flickering in and out of solid form.
 
"I think killing me was a pretty big thing, Leo. I forgive you for it, I said that-- it's not even really about that, surprisingly. I just feel suffocated, alright? I want to go out and talk to people without being made to feel fucking guilty for it! I get it, you're happy cutting yourself off from the outside world-- but I'm not. I want to go out and I won't be made to feel like that's so wrong and cruel of me," he snapped right back at him, his lips pursed as an attempt to control his own simmering anger. He understood that he wasn't being the best boyfriend by dragging things up when they were best left in the past, but he couldn't control how he felt.

If he was uncomfortable and angry, he wasn't going to pretend those feelings weren't valid.

"I'm seeing Gigi, she's nice and funny and quirky and I fucking like her. It's rude how much you judge someone when she's been nothing but nice."
 
“She only started being nice because she felt bad!” He countered easily, his cheeks reddened. “The only reason she even came over when you first moved in was because she didn’t want another fuck up like me deciding to fucking kill themselves, Nyle! The whole fucking town feels bad and they probably feel even worse after... what happened. Look, fuck off and go out, get fucking hammered or whatever because spending more than a half hour back home is so ‘suffocating’ for you. You haven’t even been back a whole day and I’m suffocating you. “ He sneered, his arms folded before heading to the back door and slamming it behind him, only to disappear the minute he walked through the threshold.

“I don’t know what you fucking want from me, Nyle, but it seems that no matter what I do, I’m a fuck up!” His voice echoed through the house, causing it to lightly shake.
 
"You know what? I fucking will go and get hammered, fuck you. I'll enjoy myself, yeah? You insist on it so why would I wanna disappoint you? Don't wait up. You can just lay about here and wallow in self-fucking-pity," he snapped, acutely aware of how loud his own voice was getting. He was also aware that his anger was growing and, in order to take it out on something, the small table beside the couch immediately broke after taking a hefty kick from Nyle.

He was far from a violent person, but he had a history of taking his anger out on inanimate objects. In his eyes, it was better than hurting someone, which he would never do and never could envision himself doing.

Getting hammered was the priority, and he did just that, spending most -if not, all- of the night in a bar outside the town. It wasn't as fun as he wanted it to be, being unable to forget the fight, though he did at least have a few drinks bought for him by a group of guys he quickly found himself talking to. Making friends wasn't something he had ever struggled with, so that was a high point of the night.

By the time morning rolled around, his good mood had soured again. He was still drunk and had spent a good half hour stumbling back into the town, trying to avoid drifting into the road. Unaware of where his feet were really leading him, he did blink in surprise once finding himself outside of Gigi's house, having knocked and slurred loudly for her to answer - something he had already forgotten doing just seconds after.
 
It was far too early for Gigi, the middle-aged woman never waking up before 8. To be greeted with a drunken Nyle, she couldn’t help but frown at the poor state. Lucky for the 20 year old, her husband always left early for his construction job so she didn’t have to explain why sold handsome young man was showing up at her door so early.

Leaning him in, Gigi sighed heavily once helping him to the dining room table, holding her cup of coffee right as she silently watched Nyle. She didn’t know how to approach him, after all, especially since she hadn’t seen him in months after the rumored ‘suicide attempt’ with the rat poison.

“... are you okay?” She eventually questioned before pushing a cup of coffee forwards for the other. “I mean, of course you aren’t. If you were, you wouldn’t be st my house so early,” she sighed, shaking her head.
 
"I'm fine, just... drunk? I think I'm drunk. God, I'm a mess," he groaned, managing to reach for the coffee without falling from his chair or spilling the beverage everywhere, which was a minor miracle in itself. He had no recollection of anything that had happened that night, other than meeting some new people and getting their numbers. Other than that, it was a mystery. The cuts on his hands he assumed were from a drunken stumble, but there was no real explanation of his cold, wet clothes or the mud in his hair.

At least until he absently checked his phone and found evidence of it all on his Instagram page, where he grimaced at the various pictures he had uploaded whilst under a more drunken state; pictures and videos of him and the men he met daring one another to jump from a bridge into a river below. He assumed that it had been fun, however idiotic it had been, but posting it all to his social media was hardly a good idea when Leo undoubtedly saw it all.

"...I fucking hate it here, it's... how can you stand it? I feel like I'm dying here-- i don't want to spend the rest of my life in that house, Gigi. I don't want to die in there and be stuck for all fucking eternity, staring out the window into this fucking town. I... I hate it here," he grimaced, staring down at the coffee with a frown. "I... I like you and... and Mr. Davies from the store is pretty neat, but everyone else is a homophobic prick and... it's just so quiet here, it creeps me out."
 
“Well, my husband and I moved out here once our son started college. My grandma used to live here and I had fond memories of it so I suggested it to him. We got our home for pretty cheap and... it just feels nice, you know? I can attend to my hobbies like the garden and Rob can do his own hobbies - he likes puzzles. It’s nice and quiet enough that we can do as we want without any real interruptions. Sure, it can feel isolating but that’s why I go to the potlucks or festivals,” she explained slowly, her eyes watching the snow fall.

“Listen, I don’t blame you for not wanting to be in that house. It’s haunted for god’s sake! You... don’t understand how scared I was, hearing you had to go to the hospital. I thought you were, ah... repeating history,” she tried to explain, her and every other person in town always being desperate to avoid any real flat-out mention of Leo. “I’m tellin’ you, you gotta sage that house and you’ll feel a lot better. You gotta make an effort to have fun but fun is definitely out there!”
 
"Let's not talk about the rat poison incident, I'm over it. Just... know I didn't try to kill myself; I've never tried to hurt myself, ever. It wasn't me, let's leave it at that," he murmured cryptically, forcing a smile as his own eyes drifted out to watch the snow. Winter was his favourite time of year, and it as usually when he was happiest. Being in a fight with Leo and not knowing how to solve their issues did put a dampener on his spirits.

"...You have a son," he commented, desperate to move on from the topic of haunted houses and the like. Anything that didn't remind him of Leo was a godsend at the moment. "I didn't know that, that's neat. You don't look old enough to have a son in college, Gigi. Like I said when we first met, you don't look a day over 30~"
 
“Yes, well, I had my son pretty young - 21. It wasn’t an ideal position but we made do with what we had and now he’s all grown up, attending college to be a physicist,” she proudly admitted, a smile creeping on her face. With pinkish cheeks, she took another sip of coffee.

“I’m very proud of him,” she explained. “He’s doing more than I could ever dream of. I dropped out of college my first year and he’s working towards his graduate. He stops by every now and then. Oh, maybe you should meet him! I know it’s hard being the only young person once this town but his winter break is coming soon, maybe you two would hit it off well!”
 
"Yeah? I'm down for that. I'm sociable, I'm a people person-- I'm sure I'll get on with him. If he's anything like his mother, we'll hit it off easily," he smiled charmingly, snorting to himself at how corny he could be. It was a good mix of playfulness and humour, which, after a tense argument and a night that had left him in agony and soaked through, was just what he needed.

He needed all the friends he could get, and while he wasn't particularly bothered how old they were (he liked Gigi and counted her as a friend, after all), it was a bonus to find someone who was his age; who he could connect with more than he could with someone older than him.

"Yeah, just come 'round to my place when he gets here, I don't mind that. Got nothing else to do. You're the only person I talk to in this place, it'd be nice to try and make more than one friend. I've been here for months, it's... kinda sad I only have you to show for it, huh?"
 
“Well, in the town’s defense, you have been gone most of those months,” she reminded with a raised brow. “Here I am thinking you were in that house ill when in reality, you having fun in Philadelphia! Roxanne, down at the bar, mentioned it to me,” she huffed, though her face did soften a tad.

“People here can be rude and... small minded, but we do care about you. I mean, I stopped by frequently and you were never there... though all your things keep getting stolen. Maybe there’s a thief on the loose - that’s not the point. Ah, look at me! Babbling on and all that...” she chuckled, shaking her head.
 
"I was visiting my family, they thought it would be best to keep me there for a while after the incident, so... I was gone longer than I wanted to be. I should have said something to you to be honest, I felt bad about that," he admitted honestly, resting his head on his hand with a strained smile. He wanted nothing more than to forget about Leo, even for just a few minutes, but it was difficult to do that when almost everything they talked about could be related back to his boyfriend somehow.

"You're not babbling, this is... it's good for me, to talk to someone like this. I needed this. I shouldn't have turned up drunk on your doorstep, that was a shit move, but... still, thanks?"