Help?

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Lewi, Jun 2, 2015.

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  1. guys could someone or some people please pm me? I'm extremely upset right now and I just...I just need someone right now...
     
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  2. I can message or talk here
     
  3. I just....my emotions are bothering me and I know better than to post a blog about it because it's my fault and I don't feel like having that thrown into my face because I can't help how I feel....it's not easy for me to control emotions and I know I'm being entirely stupid...
     
  4. Sweetheart, emotions are there because we need to get them out, to express ourselves. No matter what triggered it, self or not, no being of this world deserves to go unheard. You matter, and that's something you need to keep reminding yourself. You can't always control them when they are begging to be dealt with; sometimes you just have to let the storm pass.
     
  5. Well as stupid as it is just to get it off my chest and to get someone else's opinion on it, Dante (my fiancé) and I got bored and decided to play the question game where the other has to answer the others question honestly. We got on the topic of sex and such which isn't really a strange thing considering we're pregnant and then it moved on to attraction. And I'm glad he was truthful and all I would rather him have been truthful than not but it really hurt because he asked if I could be with anyone except him who? I've never been attracted to anyone else and I named off a celebrity just for fun. Then he kinda hesitated when I asked it back and then told me this girl we both know from where he used to work. It hurts me that he has felt that attraction even though it's stupid and he even admitted that it was because she reminded him of me when we first got together. And it bothers me.....usually I would dismiss this but this happened two weeks ago and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. And it bothers me because I know it's entirely possible. She's a gorgeous girl with a good head on her shoulders and if something were to happen to me I see them as a completely functional couple.
    I know he's loyal he's done nothing wrong that's what bothers me. It just....I guess it hurts me that I've never had eyes for anyone else even in a passing thought and he has....and even though I know he won't act on it it hurts...
     
  6. This might not help much now, but think of this; at the end of the day, you are the one he comes home to. Yes, we feel attractions to other people or not but that doesn't mean that we love the one we call our other half (ves) any less.

    Your stress is understandable and it is a hard pill to swallow, but this is something you have to settle within yourself. If you are worried, talk to him about it.

    Look at your traits Lewi, what makes lewi such an amazing person? I'll bet you have more going for you than you realize. You are a gifted writer and caring, that much I have seen from around the forums here. You are smart, you are who he fell in love with. An attraction isn't a relationship, it's just attraction. He knows you and loves you for being Lewi; after all, there's only one of Lewi. You have gifts that he loves; why don't you two go out on a date night and really get to spending more time with one another?

    Take a walk, have a beach day. Or just watch TV and eat popcorn, so long as you two are together.
     
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  7. It's one of those problems that I know I'm gonna look back on later and laugh but it doesn't ease the suffering in the here and now. Your words as well as another friend of mines help but ultimately time will have to work on me I suppose. Personally Lewi doesn't think Lewi is such a great person. I feel selfish for feeling hurt at something so silly. It shouldn't even bother me.
     
  8. Looks like Lewi needs to reflect on her self worth and discover that she does in fact have good traits, and is a good person. I've seen plenty of bad people and sorry (not sorry) you don't fit the bill hun. Truth is, i think this has less to do with the attraction and more to do with how you see yourself.

    Think on it for a while. Stop hating yourself for everything you aren't and start loving yourself for everything that you are. Nobody can convince you but you that you are worth the effort to be happy with who you are, and realize that there is always good in you. You just have to find out that past all those bad traits, the good ones shine brighter.

    Someone once told me that our bad traits are the only things that help our good traits shine, and the brightness of those good traits weigh out the bad. Love yourself and stop putting yourself down, you can't fly unless you do. *gets off soap box*
     
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  9. I've been working in myself a lot lately. I've came leaps and bounds from the person I was. But sometimes I look back and I see the things I've done to him and get scared that maybe just one more small slip up might be the feather that breaks the horses back. That's my worst fear. I have an extremely crippling fear of being alone. I'm absolutely paralyzingly terrified of it. So much so that even just mentioning it makes me tear up. And I think maybe that's why stuff like this bothers me so deeply
     
  10. I can tell you two things:

    -Stop looking back, you are moving forward.
    -Fears often get the best of us, but without fear can be no courage.

    Go on a couple dates. If the past bothers you, do better by him. That's all you can do. love never was promised to be easy all the time but it is worth it.
     
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  11. Thanks. I'll quit bugging you now. I'm sure you've heard me whine long enough lol I do thank you for your words though. It helped. Maybe now I can get a little sleep (probably not lol)
     
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  12. You aren't bugging me, I came to this thread. I hope I helped, try to get some rest.

    I will probably message you tomorrow to see how you are.
     
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  13. I'd like that :3
     
  14. I'll type something more elaborate later, but it's perfectly natural to be physically attracted to multiple persons. That doesn't mean you act on it. On top of that, he admitted it before (if at all) acting on it which shows heaps about the honesty he values in your relationship. That's a pretty big good there. Seriously you got this gig.

    You can get hung up on if-statements, but that's like adjusting your google to a Mayan calendar. If you wait for a doomsday to happen, you'll end up with a self fulfilling prophecy. Sure she might be pretty, but you have his baby inside of you. And trust me that as a guy requires not just love but also a very deep bond of trust. That pretty face is a secondary at best when it comes to having a child with someone. You say you're working on yourself and that it's paying off. So I'd assume that means you keep striving and growing. Almost none of us humans are all that great and most of us give up. You did not and you do not. That is an excellent quality in a person, a partner, a mother.

    Your only enemy is yourself, but relax. Rather than putting everything else on a pedestal, stop comparing yourself to alla that. Look at what you have. Look at the efforts you've made to achieve them. Look at the willpower you have to keep going and the courage to do it in spite of your fears.

    You ain't so bad when you think about it.
     
    #14 Kestrel, Jun 2, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2015
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  15. Lewi he loves you a lot. (I know that from well Yea.) And I know for a fact that he is yours and you are his. Love him the why you always have and he will do the same for you.

    Now time to shut up again. Do to a 4 feet grave that I am digging. I do not need to dig deep. =) *hug*
     
    #15 DragonFist1988, Jun 2, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2015
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  16. Pretty much what Kestrel said. Honestly, if a girl asked me the same question, I'd be screwed unless I lied. I'm a dog - I chase that kitty. There are hundreds of girls that I've been 'attracted' to. Does that mean I went out and banged all of them? No, considering half of them are Victoria Secret supermodels/porn stars/Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

    Even when I'm in a relationship with a girl, if Little Cowboy catches a scent, I'm naturally attracted to a girl. Does that mean I cheat on her? No. I come from cheating parents and that shit hurts a lot.

    It still hurts sometimes.

    It just means that I think a girl is hot. Considering I've flirted with and been on dates with a lot of very pretty girls, there would probably be a laundry list to sift through. Maybe if I did ____ differently, I'd still be with ____.

    I know it probably burns a bit, but jealously is really unattractive. Just remember, out of all the beach babes and supermodels he chose you and of all the bodybuilders and hunks you chose him. A lot of people don't even have a significant other to say that to. Just try to enjoy the beautiful and confusing clusterfuck known as relationships and don't dwell on 'if's'.
     
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  17. Peeps are giving you excellent advice, so I will point out the part all the guys missed and prolly don't know. O_O

    Everything you feel is being heightened by BAZILLION PERCENT. So normally if something wouldn't bother you, or if you would only be a liiiittle jealous, because of preggo hormones, it's making you feel everything DEEPER, HARDER, FASTER! It is not just a preggo woman stereotype, it is the real deal for a lot of ladies. @.@ I've known several women through their preggos and they all got emotional over some of the weirdest things sometimes.

    So when you start freaking out over something that you know there is no reason to be upset over, take some deep breaths and remind yourself it's probably your hardworking body getting a little out of whack.
     
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  18. Just wanted to thank you guys for all of the advice and support it really helps me out and @Diana you have no idea lol. I've discovered that is true 100% of the time. I'm an emotional person anyway so add in hormones and you're looking at someone who's a mess lol
     
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  19. This is the same guy who recently went ballistic on someone for laying their hand on you right?

    Trust me Lewi, if a guy is willing to go to jail to protect you.
    Because he was that angry that someone dared harmed you?
    He ain't going anywhere, he clearly loves you to the moon and back again.

    Everyone is attracted to other human beings, that's biology.
    But there's a huge difference between that and a true loving and caring relationship.

    +Like Diana said, Pregnancy makes hormones go crazy.
     
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