Having the worst day ever concerning good body image and self esteem

[Isho13]

I hate that I can't stop crying over this. Last night my boyfriend told me my sister is prettier than me. To put it in a numeric scale, she'd be a 4/5, while I'm more of a 2/5. He didn't say it with ill intentions, but he doesn't understand why it irks me so bad. I've felt and been told I'm uglier than her all of my life, of course it irks me. Okay, that was it, I went to sleep feeling like shit, and today I woke up feeling like shit, but after a couple of hours I was feeling better.

That, until my father goes and tells me I'm fat. 'You'd look okay with a couple of kilos less' among other things.

Being called ugly by classmates back in highschool was one thing, but it's absolutely terrible being told these things by the people I care for the most in my life.

To make it worse, physical appearance doesn't matter that much to me... When it comes to other people. I always find something appealing aesthetic-wise in other people, and decide I like them based only on their personalities and our experiences together. But I'm my worst abuser, I'm unable to give myself the same treatment. When it comes to myself, I'm the most superficial piece of shit ever, and I hate that I don't look at least like a 4/5 or a 5/5.

This came out a bit like a rant, but I want advice. Or some kind words. I'm in need of kind words. Also teach me how not to be an asshole to myself.

 

[LunaValentine]

It sounds like you need a hug! Also, you're boyfriend's a dick. That's NOT how you treat a lady! *grumbles* but I digress. Have a hug. If you don't care about your appearance then don't let what other's say get to you. I wish you the best of luck in life. Either way, I advise writing down what you like about yourself. Then, think about it for a while. Anytime someone says something hurtful think (but try not to say) "Fuck you I have x, y, and z qualities!" The important thing is not appearance, but HEALTH.

 

[Isho13]

It sounds like you need a hug! Also, you're boyfriend's a dick. That's NOT how you treat a lady! *grumbles* but I digress. Have a hug. If you don't care about your appearance then don't let what other's say get to you. I wish you the best of luck in life. Either way, I advise writing down what you like about yourself. Then, think about it for a while. Anytime someone says something hurtful think (but try not to say) "Fuck you I have x, y, and z qualities!" The important thing is not appearance, but HEALTH.

Nah, my boyfriend's not a dick. He's a sweetheart most of the time. Sometimes he says hurtful things and only months later realizes what he said was hurtful. Now my father is a dick. He always throws that kind of words to me and my brother. He says he's joking, but talking between us my brother and I know his comments hurt us a lot. u_u

I've been into make up for a long time, in fact I'm technically a professional make up artist, having done a make up course and all that jazz. And for reasons not beauty related -for the first time- I'm eating in a more healthy way, and look forward taking taekwondo classes this year, or something along those lines.

In the past I dieted a lot and did martial arts and went on long walks every day and that kind of things, but my body refuses to lower its weight. Taking contraception pills for some reason relocated my body fat to slightly more pleasant proportions, but the weight has always been the same, whether I was on a diet or not. But if I dare to over eat, my weight will go up in an instant. FML xD

Thanks for the hug btw :)

 

[LunaValentine]

Nah, my boyfriend's not a dick. He's a sweetheart most of the time. Sometimes he says hurtful things and only months later realizes what he said was hurtful. Now my father is a dick. He always throws that kind of words to me and my brother. He says he's joking, but talking between us my brother and I know his comments hurt us a lot. u_u

I've been into make up for a long time, in fact I'm technically a professional make up artist, having done a make up course and all that jazz. And for reasons not beauty related -for the first time- I'm eating in a more healthy way, and look forward taking taekwondo classes this year, or something along those lines.

In the past I dieted a lot and did martial arts and went on long walks every day and that kind of things, but my body refuses to lower its weight. Taking contraception pills for some reason relocated my body fat to slightly more pleasant proportions, but the weight has always been the same, whether I was on a diet or not. But if I dare to over eat, my weight will go up in an instant. FML xD

Thanks for the hug btw :)

Then You know what, your father can stick it. You're eating healthy, walking, your body is happy where its weight is at. Sometimes it's all you can ask for. an even, holding weight can be a wonderful thing.

 

[Novis]

Nah, my boyfriend's not a dick. He's a sweetheart most of the time. Sometimes he says hurtful things and only months later realizes what he said was hurtful. Now my father is a dick. He always throws that kind of words to me and my brother. He says he's joking, but talking between us my brother and I know his comments hurt us a lot. u_u

You need to stand up for your feelings. Let them know that they have hurt them and if they can't respect your feelings, you'll have to walk. Just letting it hang in the air is bad, set the boundaries that comments that are negative about your weight/appearance are unwanted. Don't let them step on your emotions and then expect them to figure it out down the road. In the long run, it's only you that suffers.

 

[Isho13]

You need to stand up for your feelings. Let them know that they have hurt them and if they can't respect your feelings, you'll have to walk. Just letting it hang in the air is bad, set the boundaries that comments that are negative about your weight/appearance are unwanted. Don't let them step on your emotions and then expect them to figure it out down the road. In the long run, it's only you that suffers.

I always let them know when they hurt my feelings. With my father this is pointless. I've been telling him for years now but he won't listen. I'll just have to endure.

 

[Novis]

I always let them know when they hurt my feelings. With my father this is pointless. I've been telling him for years now but he won't listen. I'll just have to endure.

Then honestly, there's not much in the line of advice I can give you other than 'fake it until you make it', keep telling yourself that you are happy with who you are and what you look like. If they aren't happy with what you look like, it's their problem. The important thing here is that YOU are happy with YOU. Everyone else can get bent and fuck off. :)