Haters Gonna Hate

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Prosehack

Guest
So there I was, the great Asmodeus, all set for another legendary April's Fools Jokes. And what happens?

Tegan. That's what happens.



I had it all planned. An intricately-crafted tale of passion and betrayal, with Shinobi, the younger sister of Tegan, driven by jealousy to expose the secret love between myself and Tegan. She would join Iwaku and spill our most closely-guarded secret - the fact that I was visiting Tegan next week.

The tension would mount... the accusations would fly. Asmodeus would be torn from his snarky persona and into a fit of rage, his most tender secret exposed to the world. And Tegan, betrayed by her sister, would be forced to defend the lunacy of her obsession.

There would be cataclysm in the Cbox, the citizens of Iwaku flocking to see the downfall of two such mighty personalities.

Would they side with the shattered reputations of Asmodeus and Tegan? Or would they stand with the arrant newb who had, like Prometheus, stolen the fire of their egos and lain bare their all-too-human romance?

And through it all, the question of who made Shinobi an Admin? Was it Diana herself, promoting the girl as a snub to Tegan, who had stolen Asmo away from her? Or was it Jack, sensing at last his opportunity to usurp the swelling ego of his mentor?

The battle would rage. The forum would be split. The joke would eclipse my previous offerings and make a me akin to the Trickster Gods of old.



But no.

Even Grumpy didn't fall for the trick, and he comes from a country where they wear skirts and pain their faces blue.

I tried. But let's face it, accomplices are in short supply on Iwaku due to the woeful quality of our members. I mean, look at Zypher...


So Tegan fucked it up, like she fucks up all my plans.


I can't even watch porn now because she's made me think about writing porn. So now I'm analyzing every porn film just like I analyze every movie and book I ever encounter.


All the fun has been sucked from my life, and I might as well be planning comedy with Rory for all the good it will do me.



So all of you, on this April Fool's day, please spare a thought for the awesome people who labour beneath the yoke of womanly incompetence.



*shoots the panda*
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

I TOLD YOU FUCKERS IT WASN'T ME. >:D

You all owe me an apology. u_____u
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

wha- there was some elaborate plan like that all along?

'kay lol.
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

*totally out of the loop*

Isn't that normal for you though?

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/8YllNEYHTHA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Also, can't forget too add this song.
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

YOU JACKASSMO.
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

Ya know Fel Brings up the most appropriate nickname i've heard for Asmo yet........... JACKASSMOOO!!!!!!!!! >_> -passes around support Tegan pins and t-shirts! ;3 Then promptly stabs ASSmo with a pin.
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

Poor Asmoodyus.
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

You know, it was just Jackass, but Rory edited my post. Full credit to him T_T
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

Yeah, I guess I do.
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

Who's Tegan, anyways?
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

WHERE THE HELL ARE THE APOLOGIES? D:<
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

MOSTLY, WHO IS TEGAN ANYWAYS?
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

Shit, ya'll still don't know?

Should have gone with the egotistical fantasy prank where Diana and I are both in love with Asmo. :|
 
Re: TEGAN IS LAME

We'd have seen through that too.