Hamburgers

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Kitti

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That's right, I want to know about the hamburger of your dreams.

Does it have a fried egg on it?
Is it made of tofu?
Did you use your city's supply of mayonnaise on the bun?
Tell me!​
 
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I know this says hamburgers, but...

This expense 'gourmet' fast food joint opened up nearby and I got the best $11 fast food 'burger' of my life.

A chicken burger (fried, with the crispy outside, not grilled) with a fried egg, lettuce, and bacon on it...

It was fucking awesome.
 
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Back when I thought I could still get into and pay for the University of Virginia, I spent quite a bit of time in Charlottesville. There was this burger bar there called "Citizen Burger" that has three locations, each with their own menus. Their signature item (named, unsurprisingly enough "the Citizen"). Mild swiss, sauteed onions, garlic aioli, lettuce, tomato, fried pickle all on a brioche bun. Best $13 I've ever spent on a burger.
 
Hmm... My dream burger? I don't dream too big so probably a charcoal beef burger with the right amount of mayo, ketchup and mustard (not drippy, that pisses me off), onions (thinly sliced or sweated) and pickles. No lettuce thank you very much. No tomatoes, too drippy. And that's it. How hard is that to make?? People still mess it up though.
 
Fried egg? WHAT CRAZY U TALKIN BOUT???

Bread, hamburger, cheeze, cucumber, hamburger dressing, ketchup and bread! That's how my hamburger shalt be every time :D Except for today when we didn't have any cucumber D: It was horrible!!!! SO MUCH MEAT SO LITTLE WATER!
 
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If you're gonna make a non-meat burger, you gotta go with like a seitan, quinoa, bean, or lentil base. Tofu is good for many things, but I don't see it as a burger. Maybe go with tempeh if you want a soy burger?

That said, I've made a pretty mean lentilburger, but my fav has been this blackbean and quinoa burger holy shit so delicious.

As for the things AROUND the burger to make up the rest of the sandwich?

Spicy BBQ sauce. Pickles, dill. Lettuce, I want to fucking crunch through a SALAD of iceberg and romaine with each bite. Spinach. Red Onion, thin slices. Maybe some grilled bell peppers too? Roasted garlic. Salt ( but that's just me! ). Nutritional yeast because that stuff is good on everything. Bun should be toasted or otherwise crisped up for extra texture. If you can't hear me chomping on this over the sound of fucking power tools it's not right.

Side? Glass of cold water, or cold citrus drink. Maybe super thin crispy fries topped with garlic, salt, pepper, and nooch if you just have to be decadent like that.
 
My favorite burger I make has Cajun, salt, and pepper....oozing with cheese and topped with some BBQ sauce. As for restaurant burgers? Five Guys and Fries has the best burgers and fries I've ever had. that reminds me I need to take a day off and drag my ass to one of the like... three at most in my state.
 
In all seriousness though, if you want to make burgers right, go get a BBQ. Find a family member or friend with a BBQ. Do a thing every couple weeks where you use the BBQ. Get everyone out together and talking and eating--doesn't have to be about serious shit or whatever, y'all can just hang out by the BBQ and make your meat sammiches.

Get some beef. Beef's what burgers should be made out of. I don't care that it's called a "hamburger" it should be called a "this is why cows die for our sins"-burger. If you can get buffalo, that is an acceptable (and often times juicier) substitute. (Albeit it's also more expensive and in areas where they're endangered or extinct, don't eat them. Let em' live.)

Then, because I'm a Canadian, I coat em' in soy sauce usually, or BBQ sauce as an alternative. (Oyster sauce also works, but it's kind of just a weaker Soy Sauce.) Then pick your choice of 1-2: Paprika, Black Pepper, Garlic Salt. Replace Mayo (which is kind of bland) with Tzatziki sauce, though it's a bit runny, so don't overdo it.

More mouth-punching flavour per bite than in most meals. Comes on strong. Diversity is tasty.
 
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This burger with a side of honey glazed bacon cheese curds. Oh god I love this place. I am not even a fan of burgers, yet I devoured one in about a minute.
Casper's & Runyon's Nook
 
Take some good meat. Get a BBQ. Make spicy sauce to go with it. Experience carnal bliss.

You can now die happy.
 
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I'm pretty sure this place has already created a burger or two of my dreams.

To be clear, though, the burgers of my dreams do not include these:

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I don't like burgers that much, but I don't like anything with too much mayonnaise or mustard, so that's one of my standards.
 
For best burger, go to places that grind their own meat. It's the single most important thing. When making at home always get highest quality ground beef and use tomatoes only when in season. Yessir.

I like the simple burger as long as the ingredients are fresh. There are a couple places around here that have AMAZING boingers, but it would be pointless for me to mention them unless you're in the area. So if yer ever in the northern part of California send me an IM and ill hook you up......with the name of a restaurant > <
 
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For a good time (along with a good burger) in these parts I like to go to Hard Rock Café. I don't like to get fancy with it, just the basics at HRC is great for me:

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I tried to get her one too but she prefers the fish sandwich over a burger. Good times were still had, nevertheless!

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