Oh look, shit I can put advice without saturating it with cheese and sarcasm.
Comin' straight from an SDCC veteran with a decade and some under my belt. And lemme be honest, I did not make it past 2:10 in that video. So.
BRING YOUR ASS SOME WATER TO DRINK!
Yeah yeah, I know "b-but what about the sweet lootz???", and "that just makes less room in my backpack for the good stuff!"
Fuckin' hydrate your hustle.
The paper loot, unless it is an exceptionally cool poster or postcard kinna isn't super worth it unless you got a proper storage device on you. Like a legit poster holder. Or a gift wrap tube tied to a string. Whichevs. The substantial loot like keyrings, cheap necklace pendants, sunglasses etc. mmmight be worth it if you don't already have a pile of unused, gifted keychains or you have jewelry and/or make a habit of rotating out what kinda jewelry you wear on the daily. The sunglasses... undamaged corneas are nice, get one-- give 'em out to friends, family, your dog.
HYGIENE, MOTHERFUCKER.
... I mean, SDCC has gotten better about it but we're talkin' prolonged exposure to your fellow sweating, sebum-producing human beings at varying degrees of excitement. The very, very least you can do is NOT contribute to the exhibit hall miasma. You're also gonna be cosplaying with materials that may or may not hold up well to the wear and smell of the human body. You'll curb the feeling of filthy nerddom at least on that front. Light cologne or perfume is just a nice, considerate touch. I'm not sayin' that all nerds embody the stereotype but... some of those motherfuckers embody the stereotype.
SHOULDERS, KNEES, AND TOES, KNEES AND TOES!
I could research the con you're going to but those shits are usually at least two days. And you need to invest in some walking shoes and a basic knowledge of even more basic stretching exercises. "o lol no it ok im yung". No. Thefuck you are. That shit will creep up on you like trying out a garlic kimchi hotdog using a bratwurst rivalling the size of your own tiny fairy forearm. Wear the goddamn shoes, practice the fucking stretching exercises. Take the time out of youer geeky baby boner, a quiet part of the hall and be kind to your body and rest that shit. You don't needa be trawlin' the exhibit floor for the 5th time. Not unlike sex, you won't really notice the damage you just did to your body 'til after it's all over. So take time to cool down and give them muscles a break. Eat something. Keep your blood sugar up, fuck's sake.
ULTISUPERMEGA NERD
You gonna cosplay, that's fine, cute even. But I don't know your XP level or if any of your friends do it but know these things: Assert your boundaries-- you don't owe any flopsweat geek shit. You don't wanna pose with them like you're about to kiss? You very literally do not have to. Say you don't wanna and if they throw a hissy baby shiteater fit? Duck out, throw up the kawaii uguu deuces and keep your shit moving. And bring a change of clothes bring a change of clothes BRING A CHANGE OF CLOTHES INCLUDING UNDER GARMENTS. Sweat pants and a tee with slippers, something for the situation where you're 100000% Done with cosplaying before your day ends. If your cosplay includes the matching shoes then I also cannot stress enough you bring you the comfiest spare slippers, sandals whatever to give your feetsies a break and a lesser chance of developing a fungus.
SNACKS SNACKS SN-SNACKS SNACKS
... Buying the convention vendor food is not worth it. How long was that nacho cheese sitting out uncovered? You don't know. No one does. Eat outside. BYOB.
HAWKEYE
Pre-game... without the alcohol. I didn't research what the con you're going to is like but you mos def should. Figure out beforehand what panels you want to see, what booths are doing which events when, is your favorite artist/writer/Let's Player doing a signing? Figure that shit out. If you wanna dive blind, do it booboo. If you don't, make like The Goddamn Batman and put in the prep time. Make sure you have all your contacts down, who to call if you can't reach emergency contact 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5. You a minor and you think you're grown enough to know whe---HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA NO, YOU'RE NOT JUST FUCKING WRITE DOWN THE NUMBERS AND STICK 'EM WHERE YOU'LL REMEMBER THEM. Seriously, the grand and beautiful bond of shared geekery and nerdity is something predators will use to lure you somewhere and then we're all getting amber alerts about your ass. Be friendly but do not be foolish.
"But Koori, I've been through abc and I know about xyz so I think I'd know if I'm bei------ HAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA no. Talkin' a smart game and tryna prove to some rando-ass adult online that you can take care of yourself is pretty much key note #1 that you needa be reminded. Your ass gets invited to go anywhere outside the convention or leads to a part where there are not many people around-- jet, bow out, split, parkour out a window if you have to. Trash is easy to avoid, but if you cover a pill in chocolate you're not really gonna question if there's a pill under the coating, are you? Metaphors, I'm talking in them to remind to you to be friendly not foolish. Predators thrive on gullibility and kids high from being in their element have that shit in spaaades.
whatevs, legit sure I'm forgetting 2-3 more shits but that's what double posting is for.
