PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT Gender Selection in preferences

Discussion in 'ANNOUNCEMENTS' started by Kitti, Jul 20, 2017.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. I would just like to put in my two cents, as someone who has been stalked and almost kidnapped three separate times by three separate people. Granted, it wasn't an online atmosphere, but the fact remains that I have experience with the seriously-fucked mentalities of some people.

    Having concerns about being able to know another person's gender without hassle is valid. No one is denying that. But please take into perspective, as has been stated, that there are seriously screwed up people that target anyone and everyone that fits their profile. It's not just teenage girls. These people have a niche, and sometimes it can seem out of the blue (I.e. They end up targeting 30 year old males for whatever reason). By removing the gender selection, I personally feel much safer. Of course, I've never felt unsafe on this site in particular, but I have on others where I was targeted just for my identity as a female.

    Although these people could just as easily check our profiles' About Me to see who's what (for those who opt to specify), the simple fact is that it is no longer easy access. Yes, that makes it no longer easy access for the rest of us, but it's neither impossible nor impractical. It just takes a few more clicks or a simple question. Or, if you're like me, you simply just take a wild guess or use "they" as a fall back.

    I just wanted to throw in my support for this, as someone who has been stalked both online and IRL. It's terrifying, and it's taken me YEARS to trust strangers online or otherwise with something as simple as my real age. It might not seem like a huge deal. After all, it's not THAT hard for someone to figure out your gender, especially since not many people here are necessarily shy about it. But if it makes it even a little bit more difficult for stalkers to target people, I'm willing to inconvenience myself.
    • Love Love x 3
    • Like Like x 2
    • Bucket of Rainbows Bucket of Rainbows x 2
  2. OK, I have a computer now (briefly) so hopefully I can get my thoughts in order here.

    I don't mind there being no gender option. People who really care about being gendered correctly will go through the effort to put their gender somewhere (Mine's in my sig, for instance. it's been there since I joined). This just puts the effort on people who want to be gendered to get it out there, rather than leaving the effort on the genderless/NB to make sure the gender fields are obscured. Not a huge deal, especially when the main reason for changing the gender field was for security purposes anyway.

    What I DO mind is that our about me section... frankly sucks. I check out almost everybody's profiles when I talk to them, and seems like 90% of everyone doesn't bother to fill out the section.
    Why might that be? It's the absolute last thing to fill out in the roleplay resume (which is already huge and takes tons of time/effort), and then when you go to look at someone's profile, the about me section is... Well let's take Astaroth's profile.
    image (open)

    The about me section is near the bottom, but not totally at the bottom. And it's the only section that doesn't have a section header/label. It doesn't even have a line break, and because Astaroth only has a single sentence (which seems to be what most people do in my experience, if they put anything there at all), it's SUPER EASY to gloss over. The text isn't even in the same column as all the other info, so it's easy to assume it's not even a new section, it's just overflow from a previous section (or worse, that it's not anything at all).

    So to say that "people can just put that stuff in their about section" well... Yeah that'd be great... If the about section was actually easy to read.

    Now let's look at my about me section:
    image (open)

    All I did was add an hdor at the top and it made the section SO MUCH EASIER to spot/read. Maybe we could add something like that to the site? Or at least label the about me section?

    But let's ignore the about me section. We could put gender in our sigs. I don't know what most people do, but I collapse all sigs because most people's sigs are either huge or not something I enjoy looking at. So unless someone wanted to put their gender as the very first line in their sig, then there's a pretty big possibility that it will be missed, too.

    I dunno, like I said, I have no problems with no gender field in theory, but all the other options provided for us to gender ourselves are pretty shitty... No offense. =/

    On the ice cream thing, I personally didn't like it because:
    - We have enough stuff in the roleplay resume, don't need a useless option there
    - Only 3 options were offered, which yeah it's only ice cream but when rolled out in exchange for the gender thing, it came off as insulting.
    - Basically everything everyone else said, so I'm glad it was removed.
    #162 Vars, Jul 21, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2017
    • Like Like x 3
  3. I see no reason not to look into making the profile overall a little more easily readable. It is kind of messy. We can definitely look into options for that.
    • Thank Thank x 7
    • Like Like x 4
  4. I use my signature for one image of mine at a time. Or nothing at all.
    The ones I usually use just so happen to be right at the cutoff for the height when they are hidden (such as Aseruff's paws right now)

    Text in the signature looks horrible when it's just a little around the image (especially with so many codes being completely broken and useless in signatures...)
    Above and it cuts off even more of my signature and looks bad.
    Below and it's the part that gets cut off
    To the front or back and it just... Ugh. Without properly being able to float or adjust things, it's just a nightmare to make look good.

    But the coding's a completely different issue. When I know that is fixed, I'll have some fun re-working it and will keep my gender OBVIOUSLY posted there.

    This will be much appreciated.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Give me mint or give me liberty!!! *rage throws my phone against the couch across the room* yay for three layer phone covers~ lol ♡♡♡ x3 c:

    *drills a hole in its hull* muahahahaha!!! >:D hehe x3

    You know I am an alien from outerspace my friend o3o

    I want one! Gimme a bunny avatar~ ♡

    I would like to meet a kind female Pornbot ans settle down. Lol x3
    #165 Asano Ryu (浅野龍), Jul 22, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 22, 2017
    • Bucket of Rainbows Bucket of Rainbows x 1
  6. Originality in this day and age? Madness!
  7. Hi, friendly neighborhood Ripple/Melon here to add in her measly two cents of things that have already been said.

    Coming from someone who has been stalked and harassed both irl and online for a span of about five years, this is definitely a good move in terms of keeping away some of the creeps. I can't tell you how many times I've had people unironically message me because they see OHSHITSHEAGRILL. Which is pretty irritating to deal with, especially when they're super creepyweirdo.

    I can understand the concerns for lacking a gender selection preference, don't get me wrong, but -coming from a biased person 8^D- I'd say safety is the main concern here.

    At the end of the day, the admins are the decision makers, and you just gotta roll with it. They're doing what they think is best for the site as a whole, and if they conformed to every wish of members then this site would be chaotic as fuck. Not everyone's going to be pleased with every decision the admin's make, but hey, welcome to the internet. It's three of them and however many there are of us (lmao im lazy af bruh). With such a large site you're bound to have some unhappy members with EVERY change.

    Like I said, I can see where people are coming from with the concern, but I know the admin's did this with the best intentions. It seems like a lot of people underestimate the lengths creeps will go just because someone LISTED themselves as a certain gender.

    Anyways yeh that's all I've got. Most people already said exactly how BUT I THOUGHT WHY NOT SAY IT AGAIN??? 8D

    EDIT: And if I seem like I am belittling your concerns, that is not my intentions at all. It's a valid concern, but there are some serious creeps out there. And I am biased in the sense that I would rather be slightly inconvenienced than deal with more creepy assholes. And I'd rather no-one else have to deal with those creeps either.
    #167 Melon, Jul 25, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 25, 2017
    • Like Like x 2
    • Thank Thank x 1
  8. I have been bothered before and stalked by a person before, but I don't really agree withb the change still. I dont think it's a "safety" concern because you can just avoid/block people.
  9. I get and agree with your point, you can just block/avoid people. But I have experienced someone who, despite doing both of those things, still managed to stalk me.

    But everyone has different views and opinions on this matter, and that's perfectly ok. Like I said, I can see why people are upset or concerned about the change. ^^
    • Like Like x 2
    • Thank Thank x 2
    • Love Love x 1
  10. I may not always agree. I may disagree terribly. But at the end of the day, they're the admins and I'm going to trust them. If I can't trust the admins, well Fimbulvetr has come and Ragnarok nears. *shrugs* Trust, especially of the leaders, is the backbone of any community. In my not-so-humble opinion, of course.
    • Love Love x 3
  11. I for one agree with our bunny overlords hardworking and wise admins.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Bucket of Rainbows Bucket of Rainbows x 1
  12. I think if someone set themselves to the despicable task of stalking. Not seeing a gender on someone's profile is only going to give them pause. And then they'll continue on their despicable way.

    I personally don't care either way. I'll just ask if I need to. But let's not paint it as safer. A polite hello and pleasant conversation is all they need to get or intuit the information. At the end of the day it's up to each person to protect themselves as best they can.
    • Love Love x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  13. I know I am joining the party late - but wouldn't it just be simple to put something like:
    I choose not to reveal

    Or maybe a complete list:

    m to f trans
    f to m trans
    (option to write your own words)
    I choose not to reveal
    • Nice execution! Nice execution! x 1
  14. That's what it used to be like actually if I remember correctly. That's what it always used to be like. Trouble happened despite. I shudder to think what would happen if it was just Male or Female.

    As for me, my identification has been clearly put in my signature. The absence of that option affects me little. I don't think I have the right, either, to insist that the administrators of the entire website put it back because I don't like it. That would be rather obnoxious. Though Iwaku was made for the benefit of its patrons, still, their house, their rules. This is including Diana, who owns the place after all.

    This is not a snipe at anyone else. Diversity of opinion is a thing, and this is merely my own thought process.
    • Like Like x 2
  15. I was always curious if there could be a 'check box' for PGPs. Each user could simply pick what did or did not apply, allowing for those who wish to have more privacy the option 'Prefer not to say', but also allowing those who wish to share the option as well.

    Very basically:

    Prefer not to say
    Ask me!
  17. Sometimes it is better to be ambiguous and vague.
  18. And sometimes people prefer not to be vague and ambiguous. It was fine the way it was
  19. Obviously, the administration disagrees.
  20. Unfortunately.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.