Fucking mad at the world

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Valentyne, Sep 16, 2016.

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  1. Just need to vent. I'm goddamn mad at the world right now.

    On sunday, I got yelled and cussed at by my parents for not attending church services with them, and then accused of atheism (something they know I'm not) when I didn't agree with what their church taught.
    Then tuesday I found out that one of my friends' parents are forcing her to break up with her girlfriend, who just lost her grandmother a few days ago. She doesn't know yet and is just trying to figure out why her girlfriend is being so awkward around her, and I know and am friends with both of them, and I have to watch, knowing the truth, without saying anything. Then one of my other friends is going through a personal crisis (won't specify what) and most of her friends and her boyfriend have abandoned her over it. Her sister and I are just about the only people still talking to her, and she's not an easy person to comfort, especially when faced with such a monumental problem as this.

    Everywhere I look there's something else to piss me off and tear at my heart and make me hate people and it feels like it's something new every single fucking day and all I want is to be a happy, optimistic person who knows how to help her friends through hard times and is that so much to fucking ask?
     
    #1 Valentyne, Sep 16, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2016
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  2. Yes. Yes it is.

    You're a teenager, so I'm going to assume that you're likely in High School. This is going to be one of the most frustrating points of your life, only amplified by the fact that you and some of your friends appear to be in religiously strict households. There will be much you won't know, that you will only learn through trial and error, failure, and as a result, pain.

    If you would allow me, though, let me teach you a couple things I learned after high school. Things which might help you.

    Pain is not an enemy. Pain is a friend. Pain reminds you where your weak spots are, where you need to improve to survive. Take, for instance, your parents being unreasonable about church service. For the time being, you're dependent on their income to survive--food, housing, so on. Most people will tell you this is wrong, but do it themselves because they're idealistic hypocrites: Learn how to lie. Learn how to grit your teeth, seethe on the inside, and tactically move through a conversation to avoid as much confrontation with those you're dependent on as possible. For now, it's your parents. In the future, it may be a boss, or a coworker who has political sway at your job, or a professor at a university.

    No matter how stupid their standards are, no matter how unreasonable, learn how to lie about agreeing with what they say or enjoying what they want you to, and live within that framework until you are no longer dependent on them. This is a survival skill that will be useful throughout your life.

    You also can't control what happens to you, or your friends. You can't control how unreasonable the parents of others are. All you can control is how you react to it, and what you do about it. We don't praise heroes because they have it easy--we praise them because they do the right thing in spite of how difficult their lives are. Take solace in doing the right thing, take solace in learning how to survive. The more of this you can take, the stronger you get. The stronger you get, the more likely you can surpass your fears, take criticism to the face, and bulldoze your way through life's future curve balls.

    I won't tell you not to feel. You can't control that. You will feel pain, and sorrow, and fury--at least once a week you'll likely encounter something that will upset you, or make your blood boil. Human beings can be equal parts compassionate and hateful and all it takes is one bad day for someone to forget how to be a decent person.

    The world isn't fair, bad things happen to good people, and you will die one day.

    These are some of the hardest things you'll have to accept about life. Same as everyone else.

    On the bright side, you're still in high school. You're still a teenager. You've got plenty of time to take all this pain you're encountering and grow stronger. Survive it, surpass it, and keep surpassing it until you're in a position where you can change things. Make things better.

    At the very least, being forced to live within someone else's framework for survival's sake will give you plenty of incentive to escape it, no? :ferret:
     
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  3. I can relate to this so much. It does hurt a lot, when you know you can't change things, when the most you can do for a person is simply keep them in your thoughts (and if you believe in some deity, pray for them).

    But sometimes that is the best thing you can do for a person. Be there for them. Comfort them when they're alone and have no one else to vent to. Be the shoulder they need. The world is a harsh place, especially for someone who just wants everyone to be happy, but having someone be there for you, and being there for them in return, can make things easier.
     
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