"Friendship" Isn't working out

[junebug]

I've got a guy from my college who I talk to (or at least try to) and I've quickly found that this whole going out places, hanging out, and just seeing each other is not working out for me. How do I tell someone I'm not interested in being friends? At this point, I feel like there is no "not-harsh" way to do so, but I've never had friends before, so I don't really know how to tell someone I don't want to be their friend or try to be their friend anymore. Is there a way someone can politely tell another they're not interested or is it really just the whole having to be straightforward no matter what?

 

[Nemopedia]

I'm sorry that you feel that your friendship isn't working. If I may ask, why do you think your friendship isn't working?

I have never been in your situation before and have too little detail to make a sound judgement, so take what I say as generic advise. It is honestly hard to say even with details.

Who is the one usually putting in the effort to make plans and starting conversations? If it is you, you could perhaps stop doing that. If it is him, starting to say no to his invitations helps.

As far as straight up telling him goes. That is a hard one. How comfortable are you with telling him? Do you think he deserves that much from you? If you think you can be honest with him (hurt feelings left aside, they will always be there) and also feel that he deserves the truth from you I would just sit him down and explain how you have been feeling. I.e: "I feel the effort all comes from me" yada yada yada. Who knows, maybe you guys end up as better friends because of it (trying to look at it from the most optimistic side).

 

[junebug]

I'm sorry that you feel that your friendship isn't working. If I may ask, why do you think your friendship isn't working?

I have never been in your situation before and have too little detail to make a sound judgement, so take what I say as generic advise. It is honestly hard to say even with details.

Who is the one usually putting in the effort to make plans and starting conversations? If it is you, you could perhaps stop doing that. If it is him, starting to say no to his invitations helps.

As far as straight up telling him goes. That is a hard one. How comfortable are you with telling him? Do you think he deserves that much from you? If you think you can be honest with him (hurt feelings left aside, they will always be there) and also feel that he deserves the truth from you I would just sit him down and explain how you have been feeling. I.e: "I feel the effort all comes from me" yada yada yada. Who knows, maybe you guys end up as better friends because of it (trying to look at it from the most optimistic side).

The reason that our friendship is not working is because he's not intellectually stimulating. He repeats himself all the time and I honestly feel like our conversations go nowhere in trying to know each other better.

It's not fun being around him, it's draining. He always asks me if we can hang out all the time, almost every week, and I'm just not interested in becoming a friend with someone who repeats himself whenever I'm with him and asks me every time we see each other if we can hang out, or if we see each other at all, he assumes it's cool for him to hang out with me.

I don't like the attention. It feels like he's invading my personal space and I'd really just rather tell him things aren't working out. I'm honestly not too comfortable sharing this information with him really. I've never had friends before, so it's a tough spot to be in. Sometimes you do what you gotta do though. People may not like honesty, but sometimes it's best to utilize that, instead of leading people on and skirting around the edges, in my opinion.