Freaking Mayflies

[Tarieles]

Spoiler: Not about insects

Dear roleplays,
PLEASE STOP DYING WITHIN A WEEK. Seriously, can I get some enjoyment for more than a few days? I'm getting to the point where roleplaying by myself is more enjoyable, because I get a fucking response. This is my therapy, stop dying so quickly. I just want something to look forward to every morning when I wake up, and it's not any easier when I wake up to yet again no responses, even when I freaking ask if people are still around. Sometimes I feel like moving to greener pastures, but that's my issue: there are no greener pastures. This is as good as it gets for me, unless I make my own site. And I don't want to add that to my list of things I need to worry about.

But come on, at least last for a month or something. I need something to do that's fun and helpful in my hobby and maybe future semi-career. I don't want to be burned out from work and school. I don't want to keep making characters and never get a chance to develop them. They're wasted potential. My characters are constantly a work in progress, and I can't finish them if all they do is talk once or twice before everyone leaves. It's just pissing me off. I'm aware some people have shit going on and mental illnesses that prevents them from doing something, I know what that feels like. I've got one too. But I wish things could just work out better with me and my writing. And people, please stop ignoring others. We can see when you're online. It's not a good feeling to see you being active, but apparently don't care enough about others to talk to them.

I don't want to have to go back to a kid's site, just to get some creativity flowing, minor as it may be. It just seems that it's always one step forward and five steps back when it comes to me and roleplaying. Find a site I like, and everyone has the attention span of a goldfish. I'm just tired of it. I want a place I can call home, and that's becoming increasingly more difficult. I thought I found a place here, but it just seems like I keep losing my mind over no one responding, and I keep getting more and more paranoid about shit and no one actually liking my ideas and it's honestly just making me angry. I just want to refine my writing in a way that's comfortable.

Maybe I just need more medication and to wait for PMS to get over with...

 

[Sidhe]

And people, please stop ignoring others. We can see when you're online. It's not a good feeling to see you being active, but apparently don't care enough about others to talk to them.

I'm pretty dang guilty of this. I can say that I'm not ignoring anyone until I turn blue in the face, but I also realize that when someone is posting around but not responding to you, it's hard not to interpret it that way. For me, I'm often aware that I need to reply to folks, but I won't have the energy to do so. Add anxiety on top of that, and you have a social interaction disaster. I'm genuinely not ignoring anyone on purpose, but I know intentions don't always matter. It's definitely something I'm trying to improve upon.

Other times, I genuinely just forget. I can't tell if that's more or less embarrassing than just being too anxious to talk to someone.

When you're out looking for partners, do you make it clear that you want someone who can post at x frequency? I find that can really help when trying to find compatible people to role-play with. I always try to make it abundantly clear that I'm slow as heck, and that I won't be a good match for someone who wants rapid or frequent replies all the time.

 

[Tarieles]

All I would need is a "hey I feel like shit, but I'm not ignoring you, just hang on please". That's how I cope with my anxiety and depression when I feel like utter crap. Just send a quick "I'm not a dick I'm just sad please don't hate me". But it seems people just don't even want to bother with that.

Every time I've stated how much I'd like to post, I've been shot down. I'd like once a day, nothing huge, if people can make it. At least once every two, so ideas stay fresh. But no, every time I say that. "Lol no one is motivated enough to post that much" "You must not write a lot per post in order to post that much you pleb" "I have a job, school, and hobbies, I can't respond once a day, that's crazy". I have all three of those things too, and it just starts to seem like an offshoot of the "oppression olympics" mentality; the Busy Olympics. Just frustrating to me.

 

[Kagayours]

Yo I hate to toot my own horn but the average RP that I GM lives to be so long that I don't even bother celebrating anniversaries or other milestones anymore, because I just expect my RP's to last several months, at least. Fandomstuck's been going for over a year now and it's still open, in case you wanted to join something new. The posting speed is more like a few posts a week (in total, not per person) as opposed to a post a day but hey it's something at least.

That aside!! I honestly don't know what to tell you other than the fact that RP's tend to die very quickly, unless they're managed well. I know that probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but, I don't know what else to tell you. Good news, though, is that it can get better. You know how I said that I expect my RP's to last a long time? That took practice, and years of trial and error to figure out what works and what doesn't. There's lots of technical stuff you have to consider that can really make or break an RP, in my experience. Yeah, a lot of it is just luck, and finding good players, but having a solid foundation for your RP will certainly increase your odds for survival. I'd honestly love to give you some in-depth GM advice, if you wanted it.

As for getting replies from people -- I think it might help a lot if you're just more clear about what you want. Like Opal, I also do the thing where I sometimes ignore messages while I still poke around online elsewhere -- not because I'm really trying to ignore anyone, but because I just don't have the mental stamina to focus on a response. That said, I also tend to RP with people who are a bit more laid-back as far as pacing goes, so I tend to assume that no one will be that concerned if I wait to answer their PM until tomorrow morning. If I had known that someone had wanted a "I'll reply to this later" message, then I'd be more inclined to say such a thing. It's hard to realize that something I'm doing is bothering people if they never mention it. :/

Also, as for the "no one is motivated to post that much" thing... I think you just might not be RPing with the right people. :/ I'm sure there are RPers out there who are willing to write at least one post a day, you just have to find them. So, it might be better to establish right at the start what you're expecting from a player, so that you don't have to drive each other nuts about posting speed later. Because one post a day just doesn't work for everyone. It certainly wouldn't work for me. @_@ And trying to force it on someone who just doesn't have that posting speed? That's just not going to get you anywhere... and neither of you will be happy in the end. :/ It's better to seek out the people you want to RP with than to try to force other people to become the sort of person you want to RP with. Try making it clear up-front what your expectations are, and tell potential players that if they can't meet that, then this isn't the RP for them. That way, you'll get to RP with someone you actually click with, and things are more likely to work out!

Hope this helps. I have a tendency to dive in too deep with the advice thing on rant threads and not realize until after I've typed it all out that you might not have wanted advice, so... yeah, I can delete this if it bugs you. :/ I just thought it might help to remedy the problem.

 

[LunaValentine]

*sneaks in* I may or may not have a problem with needing to be the last person who responded to an rp......You might wanna try rping with me. I even reply at work occasionally (usually when my brain is tired of staring at code). I can totally work with "at least one reply a day" as long as you don't have a length requirement. (I'm a heavy dialog person so sometimes my replies are short....but if there's some fun complexities to the story I can write a couple paragraphs if the need be)

 

[AshlioFern]

Yes, yes and yes. I get that people have stuff and all that, but it's still so frustrating with so many roleplays dying after just a couple posts. I put a lot of thought into my characters and plot, and when I don't get a chance to play that out... *sad face*

Now I have to force myself to look for new rp partners, because it feels like a waste of time since there is like a 90% it will just die right away. And you're lucky if they even bother to tell you that they won't be replying any more...