Fortunately/unfortunately MK II

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Fortunately, Tim got a blood transfusion to change his blood type with that of a commoner type.
 
Unfortunately, the transfusion needle was not clean so Tim got sick.
 
Fortunately, he knew of an alchemist that could cure his disease.
 
Unfortunately, the alchemist was senile due to old age.
 
Fortunately, the alchemist had a granddaughter who knew what to do.
 
Unfortunately, the alchemist's granddaughter also happened to be his former best friend's little sister who once liked him.
 
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Fortunately, Tim was able to smooth talk her into curing him so once she did that he left her.
 
Unfortunately, she alerted the assassins to this change once he left her.
 
Fortunately, he expected this move, so before he left her, he altered his appearance in her memory to be that of the school's principal, leading to a false report.
 
Unfortunately, the school principal was his father and still looked like him to some degree.
 
Fortunately, his father was ill and the school was run by the vice-principal for a long time, making people forget how the principal looked like.
 
Unfortunately, the vice principal was Tim from the future and looked pretty much almost identical to his younger self ( save for a beard.)
 
Fortunately, Vice-president Tim realized this, so he set up a boobytrap for the assasins to help out both young-tim and him.
 
Unfortunately, both past and future Tim were literalists and made traps for breasts and all the assassins were male.
 
Fortunately, Tim had a last ditch effort, in which, he counter-hired the assassins to go after the person who hired him, using money that he got from his career from robbing banks.
 
Unfortunately, the person who hired them tripled their salary and send them back after Tim.
 
Fortunately, Tim managed to escape to an utopia, where he was a leading space exploration scientist.
(We gotta end this Tim arc somehow... D:)
 
Unfortunately, during one of his expeditions, Tim got separated from the rest of his team and was left stranded on a barren planet.
 
Fortunately, Tim was rescued by a ship full of friendly aliens who took him in as one of their own. They all sailed across the galaxy together, and Tim ultimately found true love among his alien comrades- a pretty female alien named Blork.
 
Unfortunately, other aliens were also aiming for Blork's affections. They were the highly intelligent jock type of the alien species.
 
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