Fight School [OOC/Signup]

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Added you to my contacts, yo
 
Well, Beta told me to do this, so....

The only nitpick I have is, the school bully generally isn't a 'friendly' person. I get that she's that way if she's around adults, though. I might split up her personality traits: As bully, and Behaving.

Beyond that? The backstory is a bit bland and underfed, but there's nothing essentially wrong with it. If you want to spice it up, go ahead, but there's no reason to deny admission right now.

Go ahead, Beta.
 
Hm...

I actually just figured out a much better character personality and history I would like to use, if that's ok with you two.

It would be the same character, but with a different, more fleshed out Personality and History.
 
If you want to rewrite the character, then go right ahead. Not my character to tell you what to do with.
 
@Veloci

You still interested?

EVERYONE ELSE[warning=red]READ THE RULES![/warning]

There are TWO rules about letting a lot of time pass between your posts. One is about long delays between fight posts, the other is about posts in general. Despite that, only a couple of you seem to care. Every single week, I have to pester some of you to get posts made. Every week, I have to listen to excuses. Every week, I get told that "I'll post" or "I'm sorry" or "I'll get to it"... I'm completely fed up.

A DEADLINE HAS BEEN SET

As a result, this Sunday, August 16th at 5PM Eastern Time... is the deadline for player posts. Anyone who has not posted by then will receive an official warning. Anyone who has already received an official warning... will be cut from the RP.

End of Announcement​
 
My road with all of you has pleasent during this RP, but I see no road for in order to keep going, therefore this is the moment in which I can just 0art in the look for new paths.

Basically, I'm dropping out, sayonara.
 
@Lstorm

It isn't a Tsunami. If it was, I'd have said tsunami. Typhoons are not tsunamis, and Greased Smitening was TOLD to correct his post in that regard.
 
Corrected.
 
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Deadline is in 12 hours. Anyone who has not posted in that time is in danger of being removed from the RP.
 
Name: Heulwen (hi-uhl-when) Nesta Morgan

I.D. Number: 57824639

Rank: C2

Year: 1st

Nationality: Welsh

Age: 15

Sex/Gender: Female

Appearance:

Heulwen stands at 5'7", and weighs 132 lbs.

millia_rage_by_traghetto-d3g0zlr.jpg



Fighting Style: Black Band in Muay Thai.


Powers: Heulwen can increase the amount of force she exerts on a stationary surface or inanimate object. This can be the floor she is standing on, a wall she is leaning against, or even a brick she is trying to break. By utilizing this increase in force, she may perform the following feats.

Very briefly move at a speed as high as 100 kilometers per hour. But only for a maximum of 100 meters.

Exert up to 1,000 pounds of pressure on an object she is touching (Note. 675lbs of force from a human fist will break a cinder block)

Leap as high as 5 meters into the air in a single bound from a standing start.


Personality: Heulwen is cocky, arrogant and brash. She's good, and she knows it, but she wants to be better. She's driven to succeed. But, she knows that to win, you must have allies. As such, she has learned to, for the most part, tone down the cockiness and arrogance that comes naturally to her. She can be nice to people, provided she likes them first. She doesn't do that fake niceness shit. Either she likes you, or she doesn't, no in between.

Background: Heulwen was born to your fairly average family in Southern Wales, 15 years ago. She had two parents, a mother, and a father. They weren't the... Richest, of families, but they weren't very poor either. They got by with what they had. When she first got into school, she didn't do so well. Scoring low on tests, failing classes. It was a mess. But, one day, she got it in her head that she needed to be better than the rest. That she could be better than the rest. So, suddenly, she started doing better. Paying attention in class, acing tests, turning in homework. Everything the other kids could do, she did, sometimes better.

When Secondary School rolled around, Heulwen was already doing stuff academically above her grade level. At age 11, she was doing Algebra and Geometry, and reading full eight hundred plus page novels. She had gone from being at the bottom of her class, to being near the top, and nobody knew why. Had someone told her that she needed to do better? No one ever figured out why, although a great portion of people said that she just realized something inside of herself. But, like all great things, this too had too come to an end. She discovered her power when she, at age 12, accidentally broke a hole in a wall in a fit of rage. A large hole. With the palm of her hand. After that, she was expelled for breaking school property. Her family tried sending her to other schools in the area, but none would accept the crazed little girl who had broken a wall.

Then they heard of a school, New Peaks Academy, on a privately owned island off the coast of the United States. It was a school where kid's, like their daughter, learned to fight, and, for the most part, control their powers. But, in order to get in, she had to learn a fighting style. So, after a few months of research, and input from their daughter, that the best fighting style for her to learn, and the one she liked the most, was Muay Thai. Sadly, there were no schools for it in Wales. So, they sent her overseas to the US, to learn Muay Thai from masters there.

Heulwen took to martial arts like a fish to water, learning everything her trainers taught her extremely quickly. And, as with all of her other endeavors, was driven to succeed. To go above and beyond what was expected of her. She rose through the ranks quickly, never staying at any one rank for too long. And, after two and a half years, her hard work finally paid off. She was a black band in Muay Thai, and could enroll at New Peaks Academy.

When she first got to the island, Heulwen was shocked at the level of development and infrastructure the island-school had. She decided that getting in a fight during the first month or two of school wouldn't be in her best interest. As such, she layed low, working at the academic side of things, and practicing combat with her power. When she decided to start fighting, she would be ready. And that time, was now.

First rule of Fight School, don't fail Fight School.
 
Veloci, GS will review your character when he is able.

@Romdeaux
You have been removed from the RP for inactivity.
 
@Cheselth @I.S. Zero

If you two could post by this Saturday, that would be nominal. Things are being put on hold specifically for you, and I refuse to wait any longer than that.

@Greased Smitening

YOU have a character to review.
 
Alright, review time.

Veloci, I have just three words to say to your character:

Stop being Goku.

A brash, somewhat arrogant personality? That's Goku-esque in places, but I could get by that. The backstory's basis is what's telling me no.

Sorry Veloci, but you can't do Goku's "I can do anything if I put my mind to it". Beta told me prodigies aren't something he's okay with in Fight School, and by all means, Heulwen's a class-A prodigy. But more importantly, one cannot do geometry at 11 just because she 'got it in her head she needed to be better than the rest'. Hell, plenty of kids have that mentality, and still score below the average student on a test. Geometry to an 11 year old is going to be a foreign language no matter what...unless you are a prodigy, which she is not allowed to be.

Second point: It takes, at MINIMUM, five years to get a Black Band in Muay Thai. Since we're not gonna let her be a kid genius, you're going to have to change her backstory up some.

Lastly, less important than the above but still worth noting, is the grammar mistakes. Would probably pass a normal CS judge's guidelines, but I'm a grammar Nazi. Watch your comma usage; it can get obnoxious.

Until these are fixed, no dice on entry. Just Saiyan.

PS: I'm not sure about Beta's ruling on that, but I'm fairly certain she actually DOESN'T need a fighting style to get into New Peaks. Hell, Cheselth's character made it in and she couldn't fight much at all. That's what New Peaks is all about: TEACHING the kids to fight. I'm certain they've come across kids with little fighting prowess but plenty of potential before, and I'm certain they're roaming the grounds right now.
 
Cheselth's character made it in and she couldn't fight much at all.
Um... Ches' character knows Shorin Ryu Karate and is a Yellow Belt. HIGHLY trained? No. But she is far more skilled than a no-talent street fighter.

As for the typos... if the sheet is legible then I can look past a bit of misused commas. Stop being a total prude, Tyler.

Kids can START doing geometry at 11, as many schools start adding basic geometry to their math classes in 5th and 6th grades. Only in High School does it really become its own course. But yeah, it isn't something a kid that young just decides they must do to be awesome. They might decide they want to be an engineer or architect... but to say you are going to learn advanced geometry at age 11 is a bit silly. ESPECIALLY if they were formerly at the bottom of the class.

Zero to Hero isn't a thing I am keen on.
 
I'm not gonna wait for Beta to take a crack at reviewing this one.

Well Rise, um...the pic you chose for Kayami is a bit...old. The kid looks about 18, possibly even older. Beta's call, but I think it's a bit too mature for a 15 year old. Not to mention, that guy isn't even remotely Asian Hispanic.

Gold Eagle actually seems a bit low of a ranking for Tai Chi for a person who's been training avidly since they were 8. Doing the math in my head, I think Copper Tiger would be appropriate, possibly even close to Silver Tiger. Just a nitpick, though.

The power...is just a touch too much, in my opinion. Looking at other first years' powers, the one with the greatest ability to affect their opponent is Zero's, and that's a slow-draining process. Muscle spasms from electrical shock is a bit overpowered for a first year student. Beta's call, but that's my two cents.

Backstory time.

First off, it's New PeakS, not New Peak. :P

Withdrawn from his old high school because...his grandfather died? Even if there's psychological damage, pulling from school, when his mom wanted oh so badly for him to succeed in school, seems a bit weird. Therapy sure, withdrawal maybe not so much. Not to mention, up until this point in the backstory, there was no mention of old Gramps in his life whatsoever.

His father worried KAYAMI MIGHT BE BEYOND RANKING?! Pffffffff....lemme just....I can't.....too funny......ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING HE GOT ONLY A C RANK! BAHAHA.....

Alright. The backstory issues are mostly minor, so I can overlook them if they get edited. The pic and power are my only real concerns. Touch those up (and wait for Beta to say something about my review), and you oughta be good.
 
Name: Kyami Xiang Yi
I.D. Number: 00793266
Rank: B3
Year: 1st Year
Nationality: Asian/Hispanic
Age: 15
Sex/Gender: Male
Appearance:

animeguy4.jpg

Fighting Style: Wushu (Chinese Martial Arts) hailing from the Northern and Southern Styles, Kyami is a practitioner of Tàijíquán (Tai Chi). He has studied Tàijíquán since the age of eight.
Tàijíquán (Tai Chi) – Jinying—san duan: Gold Eagle (2nd Grade)
**Mixes Southern Style and Northern Style, Northern Style being more graceful and involving kicks while the Southern Style being more forceful and involving fist and arms.

Powers: Electrical Impulse – Kyami has the ability to generate electricity within his body and force it to his hands and feet to deliver faster and stronger blows. Electricity generates heat, and heat can burn, so to can his, but only a slight burn that would leave a bruise and nothing more. It is strong enough to dry out spots of water on a table. The electricity is strong enough to cause electric shock that won’t kill, but give a nasty shock that can cause muscle spasms.

Personality: Kyami believes in respect and honor and thusly will only respect those who have gained his respect and expects the same. He is strong, and dangerously intelligent. Kyami believes that everyone deserves a second chance, and in most cases will try to not serious injure anyone in a fight, but will simply try to subdue them. He knows he’s strong, he knows he can fight and he knows that others will know this, but he is humble.

Background: Born to a Tai Chi instructor and a doctor, Kyami has always been a hard worker and a determined individual. Kyami looks nothing like his mother’s Hispanic heritage, instead his father’s genes took over for the most part although some of the Hispanic beneficial genes from his mother’s side came through. Even though he comes from a very wealthy upbringing he does not take anything for granted. Kyami was raised differently by his mother and father. His father believed in hard work and perseverance. He started training Kyami at an early age in the art of Tai Chi. This was against his wife’s wishes because she raised Kyami to go to school and become something more than a fighter. Although his father agreed, he continued to train Kyami.
One day while he was training with his father and his mother was off doing who knows what, his father told him that he only wanted the best for him. He told him that all the training he was doing was to prepare him for a school that his father had heard of. Curious Kyami asked what school it was, and his father told him it was known as New Peaks, a Fight School for those all around the world who felt that they had what it took to make it through. Kyami was in his last year of middle school when his father told him this. He showed him the brochures, the website and any information that Kyami needed to see.

“We need to train harder Kyami, and we need to train that special ability of yours,” his father would say. Kyami was amazed that a school like New Peaks actually existed, but he was both excited and nervous.

“Dad it means I’ll have to leave you and mom, and look how much it costs,” he’d reply and his dad would simply laugh. “What about mom?” he had asked but his father simply smiled.

“I’ll handle it, don’t you worry, just focus on training and doing your part, that is if you want to go.”

He had left the decision up to Kyami to attend New Peaks, and how could the young teenager say no to an opportunity of a lifetime? The time came for his father to tell his mother and Kyami was not ready for the words that came out of his mother’s mouth directed to his father. She literally called him things he had never heard. Kyami stayed out of it, he didn’t want to make it any worse than what it already was. Eventually, and with heavy persuasion from Kyami’s grandparents, his mother finally agreed, and with only a few weeks to spare before registration. Kyami trained constantly, honing his skills, building his knowledge. It takes more than brawn to fight, one must also have brains. Kyami got all necessary paperwork and all done before the deadline and now he’s come to a point in his life in which he will have to literally fight to pass the prestigious academy.


A thing you should know about his parents. They are strict. His father sent him to New Peaks with the promise that he would focus on school work and graduating. He didn't want him to focus on relationships or any type of factions or groups. His mother was the same way, and yet he had promised them he'd try.

Other: First Rule of Fight School….Don’t Fail Fight School…… Also Kyami carries around a fighting fan, he loves them and he has a collection. He can fight with them as well and they are his weapon of choice when he fights, but the ones he carries he simply fans himself with unless he is attacked.
 
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Alrighty. You fixed up everything I mentioned...good job.

Now the one thing I have is...he'll have been at New Peaks for the school year thus far, so a backstory catchup would be appropriate.

Otherwise, I've no complaints. I think we're good here.
 
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