Feeling like a Failure

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Touch of Insanity

Just A Little Crazy
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Right now I am feeling like total crap. Like I’m stupid and therefore I’m a failure. I feel like a huge failure. I am in my fourth year of university and yeah that’s great, but I’ve already had to reduce my course load because I work and I have a learning disability. Things take me longer to do then most people. Rather than taking the usual five course, I take four. But this year, I just can’t do it. It’s too much for me, and therefore I have to drop a class. A class I didn’t grasp well in the first place and I’ll have to take it again next year because I need it in order to get my degree. I was already planning on doing my degree in five years rather than four, but I still feel like I’m letting my whole family down because I can’t do it. I just feel like I’ve hit a really low point. Even though people keep saying its okay, I feel like it’s not okay. I feel like I can’t breathe. The courses just keep getting harder and harder, and I honestly feel like all I’ve been doing lately is writing papers. I skip from one paper to the next, I can’t get readings done, and getting to class is a struggle because of my anxiety. I’m just feeling so lost right now. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not sure if this is a rant or me seeking advice. I just feel so done right now.
 

Spaceguitar

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I don't know you, and you don't know me, but I do know this: you're trying. You're succeeding, even at a rate that may not be what you want. You're doing what you've set out to do, crossing goals off the list, scratching away the benchmarks and creating new ones. Even if that means moving the goal marker back a few feet, you're still going to push towards it.

You're amazing. You rock. You keep doing you, and you'll take over the world.
 

Kagayours

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:/ I can definitely relate. I also have a disorder that most certainly slows me down and makes me feel like I just don't have as much time to get things done as everyone else, and, especially recently, it just seems to be getting worse each year. >.< I'm also going down to four courses a semester instead of five and probably taking an extra semester or two beyond the standard four years precisely for that reason. I just feel too overworked as things currently stand.

And you know what my rationale for that decision was? If I need a little bit of extra help/time then I'll take it. I'd rather take a little bit longer to finish my schooling and still do it comfortably than get it all done "on time" and suffer every step of the way. People are different; we shouldn't all have to do things in the same way or at the same speed. Don't force yourself to meet the same standards as everyone else -- cater to your own needs.

Also, it sounds to me like a big part of the problem is that this particular course is just really challenging for you. If that's the case, don't be afraid to seek help in said course, and don't lose faith in yourself because of it. I feel like every college student runs into at least one course that's particularly challenging/stressful for them. You're not "a failure" just because you've hit a rough spot.

Accommodate yourself, seek help if you need it, and keep going. It might not be easy to do certain things, but you don't have to make things more difficult by pushing yourself harder than you can manage. It's ok if you have to do things a bit differently than other people -- everyone has different needs.

Just do what works for you. You'll feel better for it.
 
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Childish Grumpino

"...before turning the gun on himself."
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University is a fucking struggle, especially fourth year, and that's without any hindrances on top.

Just remember that there's nothing wrong with taking extra time to finish your degree. I did it, several mates of mine did it, it's a normal thing to do.

Struggling with, and worrying about, your final year doesn't make you a failure. Just means you give a shit.
 
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