Just A Little Crazy
Right now I am feeling like total crap. Like I’m stupid and therefore I’m a failure. I feel like a huge failure. I am in my fourth year of university and yeah that’s great, but I’ve already had to reduce my course load because I work and I have a learning disability. Things take me longer to do then most people. Rather than taking the usual five course, I take four. But this year, I just can’t do it. It’s too much for me, and therefore I have to drop a class. A class I didn’t grasp well in the first place and I’ll have to take it again next year because I need it in order to get my degree. I was already planning on doing my degree in five years rather than four, but I still feel like I’m letting my whole family down because I can’t do it. I just feel like I’ve hit a really low point. Even though people keep saying its okay, I feel like it’s not okay. I feel like I can’t breathe. The courses just keep getting harder and harder, and I honestly feel like all I’ve been doing lately is writing papers. I skip from one paper to the next, I can’t get readings done, and getting to class is a struggle because of my anxiety. I’m just feeling so lost right now. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not sure if this is a rant or me seeking advice. I just feel so done right now.