Favorite DnD/PF Stories

[F0X]

Many of us here love our wonderful tabletop games! Feel free to share your epics, adventures, or funny tales that might have happened in your own campaign!

In the 5e game that ended around the holidays, I had an adventurer that was very full of himself! The group had claimed a bit of land as their own after running out a group of orcs and goblins and finding a small run down stronghold. The group fixed it up and made it their own, and they started stomping around to see what was around their new base of operations!

However, this particular adventurer met a group who was living on "their land". The people approached the adventures and said, "Thank you so much for helping our land! We wanted to clean out this river a bit, we purified the algae and harmful plants that were in it so that you could use it as a source of water! We just hope you continue to keep us safe!"

"WHAT!??! YOU DID WHAT!?? NOT ONLY ARE YOU ON OUR LAND, BUT YOU'RE STEALING OUR ALGAE!?!? HOW DARE YOU!!!" Said the adventurer who thought everything was his all the time. I as a DM had such a hard time rping the NPC's because I was laughing so hard! The Npc's were so distraught and pleaded for him not to be upset. The adventurer replied with, "THAT'S RIGHT!! Know who your new Lord is!!"

That is when the party grappled him, and the cleric spoke on behalf of the group. We were all laughing so hard we had to take a break and get food for the night, but it was truly wonderful.

SO!! What are your stories you'd like to share about your tabletop games? ^.^

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

My Barbarian/Fighter Orc named Urik.

Worked to rob a city vault blind because they never paid the party for an earlier quest (which to be fair we kept demanding more than agreed upon).
Aided by the Party Wizard he had an invisibility spell on him, with his high Strength he chose the best way to utilize this was to take the vault door, rip it off and it put it back in place...

With two Guards watching.
So his way to solving this was to simply shout from the other side of the Vault Door "It was the wind!".

 

[Windsong]

High charisma kobold dragon shaman. Lots of roleplaying. Quite a few token rolls for size, girth, depth, and internal temperature..

So that's how the party came to have a young dragon.

 

[Jorick]

In the 5e game I DM, there's a half-orc paladin who is secretly (in game, at least) a scumbag who is edging toward an evil alignment. He recently convinced a fire giant to leave a small town alone by promising to take him somewhere with less armed resistance to deal with. The giant was suitably persuaded that smashing little farming villages would be better, so he agreed to be teleported away after being polymorphed into a mouse due to teleportation size concerns (which were exaggerated to trick the giant).

The paladin hopped on his flying broom and teleported (with a custom made teleportation necklace) not to some farm, but over the ocean. He flew up a few hundred feet and dropped the poor giant/mouse. The impact didn't kill him, but the failed Athletics check for swimming in heavy armor sure did.

 

[Arcadia]

I managed to 1HKO a spider with a sneak attack from my Kitsune Trickster. Hot damn was that fun.

 

[Valkyria]

I have a list of accomplishments that borderline sequence breaking because I love recruiting villains. Most notably...

- My half-elf paladin made an alliance with one of the most hated villains in the campaign with an accidental nat 20 diplomacy check. Some plot and battles later, he now takes the gnome orphan we adopted out for omelettes.
- Our magus won a house with a portal door on his home land. Unfortunately, a chaotic evil dragon in disguise happened to be squatting on it and challenged him to a fight. The DM was entirely convinced we were going to die until some clever planning and max damage rolls allowed my paladin to do a coup-de-grace while the magus was grappling him. Oh yeah, and now he's in our party too as a talking morning star.

I also animated an entire musical number based on our campaign for the DM's birthday. It got him teary.

 

[Space Cowboy]

 

[Space Cowboy]

My best personal accomplishment:

Get audience with Tiefling Queen of Tiefling Kingdom. They have been locking down all magical items, artefacts, etc. in the face of some danger of MAGIC! undoing the land with some weird prophetic whatever. The Queen is kind of a bitch, but listens to the party seeking her blessing to help go out and adventure to undo this. And do other adventuring things.

>Can we keep our magic items?

NOPE!

Me. As gish. Rolls to seduce the Queen. Right then and there.

>NAT. 20.

Tiefling Queen is now in the palm of my hand.

That night we do merriment and cheer and dinner and drinking... except my character. Who now gets to meet the Bondage Queen. woops.

 

[daird]

Note that our group's homebrew campaigns are run with no fourth wall and the characters fully aware that they're tabletop characters, for that extra-special touch of insane.

Elf rogue: "So, you want us to clear out this necromancer and his army of ghouls. Sounds easy enough."

My comic-relief fighter (completely on the beat, btw): "You been having ghoul problems? I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems, but the lich ain't one!"

Cue the entire table dying of laughter.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Note that our group's homebrew campaigns are run with no fourth wall and the characters fully aware that they're tabletop characters, for that extra-special touch of insane.

That sounds like an amazing idea! :3

 

[Minerva]

*Raises Hand*

I have several DnD stories, but just a question: Could I tell a Shadowrun story too?

 

[Shiri]

Our last homebrew was amazing because everyone kept rolling 1. We were supposed to be playing as regular people with regular professions, to start with, in a survival campaign. It turns out we, via dice role, sucked hard at all our jobs. In example, our fisherman couldn't catch fish, our engineer couldn't build a shelter, and our cook almost poisoned herself! My character, a stripper, nearly died while stripping. Even my large-sized goat failed at swimming against a current and ended up ramming our poor engineer in his nuts and bolts. x'D Turns out we don't need a complex plot to scramble to survive.

 

[Hellis]

My very first, properly finished campaign was 13 years ago, before I had tired of the system. I am playing a drow ranger/Rogue multiclass. I have been joking about the inherited superiority of my race and argued that Drow leadership is the only way to go the entire campaign.

We defeat the evil sorceress queen of he campaign.

Proceed to backstab the entire party at the victory celebration, completely shafting them of the loot, grabbing the throne for my self.

Next Campaign is about stopping a crazy maglomaniac of a Drow from reaching godhood.


GOOD TIMES.

 

[F0X]

*Raises Hand*

I have several DnD stories, but just a question: Could I tell a Shadowrun story too?

Of course you can!!!

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I got another, which is actually similliar to Hellis's.

I played a Half-Elf Sorcerer called Shiara for my very first campaign.
She was a Noble who was on the run cause Game of Thrones basically happened to her family.

During most the campaign she was someone striving to be a Good person... But her noble fed ego combined with her tendency to be easily offended by stuff (like, North Tumblr levels offended) often had her being a bit more insane than anything else. Still with ultimately good intentions though (Basically I made a Femblrist).

However, in one quest we were trying to take down a Slaving ring, in which our party snuck into the base and tried to take out the Master while on his own.
This back fired insanely and the whole party got arrested. During which Shiara was tortured and had one of her eyes ripped out.

One Session later after being forced to fight in the Pits, she and the Cleric manage to escape.
But while doing so they run around an odd artifact... Some sort of eye.
Shiara identifying it well enough to realize it would give her two working eyes again put in her empty eye slot...

Turns out it was the eye of Vecna, she instantly went Chaotic Evil.

Fast forward a few hours later, she and the Cleric are running through the forest naked (they had to pass through some portal to exist which removed their clothes... For some reason).
Shiara, in combination of being tortured, forced to fight, taking an eye of Vecna and now lost in a strange magical forest... she snaps.

She ends up attempting to Rape the Cleric, and succeeds.
Campaign ends soon after with the two meeting the rest of the party, realizing the Capital City is now being ran by the Slavers...
To which Shiara blows up an orphanage.

Fast forward one campaign later taking place 20 years in the future, Shiara is now this well known and feared Sorcerer banding necromancers, Orc tribes (One of which Urik came from), dragons etc into one giant army.
That campaigns end boss fight was fighting her as a polymorphed dragon, as well as fending of her Son (from the Cleric), the Orc Tribes leader and her now Giant and Deadly familiar

Then fast forward another campaign taking place in the future of that, one of my future characters from that past Zane Gural, an Undead Necromancer takes advantage of Shiara's absence in between the two campaigns (there's a group of us who DM within the same world and discuss world events and such as we plan our campaigns out) harnessing the magical energy, artifacts and undead minions Shiara left behind. Using the army to take over the entire continent that the second Campaign took place on and use it to raise a enormous undead army.

Where there's only a few survivors, one of which being Urik who is now leading his own tribe. And his tribe is now basically holed up in a Magical Fortress waiting for a chance to break for it. But they can't, because the whole reason it's magical is that Urik's wife, a Nymph enchanted it to keep the undead out, but at the cost of her being tied to the location and not being physically able to leave it, so likewise Urik refuses to leave her behind.

*And we've also planned out vague future events for this world, right up until the D&D world transitions into a Sci-Fi/Shadowrun like Universe.
Where we've decided that Zane is still (un)alive and well and running some sort of secret cooperation that has their hands in time travel.
Time travel being something that was present since the second campaign, since our very first campaign had a Robot Fox named 'Zukaro Travon' as a party member. Who used a time traveling watch to then jump forward into the second campaign, the one where Shiara was an overlord (which was where I introduced both Urik and Zane). Note said watch broke at the start of the campaign, to avoid shenanigans. But as an explanation as to where that watch came from and why he's a robot? Zane sent Zukaro back in time, exact motivations/reasoning being unknown. Note that Zane from that campaign wasn't time travelled though, he just happened to (un)live for thousands of years into the future.

 

[Robeatics]

I killed a dude so quickly he couldn't get his monologue out about how he wasn't actually a bad guy and wanted to help us fight the villian that'd attacked his town. I chopped the head off of his corpse and put it in a bag before I found out.

I played Batman for the rest of the campaign.

 

[K3l]

In a one-shot game where our party was fighting animated trees, one of our party members applied a bleed effect onto one of the trees and it began bleeding sap. A few rounds later the entire battlefield was covered in sap, our party was stuck, and the trees decapitated each and every one of us. Lesson learned, do not make trees bleed.

 

[Windsong]

Played a level 20 campaign of 3.5. Party consisted of me, the half-aasimar/celestial (half angel descendant of an angel), a giant monk, mind flayer scion, and an elf ranger. Yup. Elf ranger. As vanilla as they come.

Lots of silliness. Including my paladin/sorcerer shouting a building to rubble.

Best part though. Elf ranger dies horribly. Mind flayer proceeds to eat their brain. Little banter with the DM about that being an evil act and me being a chaotic good paladin of FREEDOM.

Pal-Angel that my character is. Instantly skewer the mind flayer on the flaming something something sword for their atrocity. Revive the elf. Then revive the mind flayer because lol merciful and just.

DM declares my acts of sacrifice and nobility had garnered the gods attention.

Rest of the story is the party dodging the gods attempts at recruiting my paladin who prefers to go solo rather than devote himself to one deity.

 

[Minerva]

Most Impressive:

It was a homebrew campaign by my sister, a D&D 5E. First 5E campaign. My dad was playing a human bard. He had Thunderwave as one of his spells.

We enter this room where a bunch of people are being sacrificed to an angry God. The priests are in the middle of a ritual on the other side of the room.

There is an altar that was ten feet in the air (It was on stairs) in the center of this huge-ass room. My dad just runs into the center of the room, parkours over the fucking altar without climbing the stairs, and then just Thunderwaves these priests against the fucking wall like the Dovahkiin, nearly killing them, and then parkours back to the room's entrance.

Close Second: early in the campaign, my mom wanted to see if she could disguise herself as the god after she saw a statue. Keep in mind, my mom is playing a Tiefling, and this god was a Centaur. She had to roll an 18 to see if she could disguise herself later.

She got a 20.

I'll get more stuff later.

 

[Shiri]

There was one homebrew campaign that had a bunch of references to video games. Two of our wayward adventurers crit on a perception check on the save point. They were blinded by its godly radiance.