Doctor Who — The Megapost of Fandomstuck
(feat. Alt-FE)1
Alt-FE watched as DA tripped and sent the bat flying into the enemy mob. While it did manage to injure a number of Daleks before hitting the ground, more Daleks soon came swarming in to close the gap, creating a wall of enemies between the fandoms and the now-lost weapon. "Don't worry, I have another one." alt-FE stated, revealing another bat that looked nearly-identical to the Doctor's, except a bit older and more worn-out. "Here, take the Doctor and get out of here." he told FF as he handed the still-dazed Doctor to him. "Trust me, we have to retreat while we can — I'll gather the others and catch up with you. Now go!"
And with that, he ran back into the fray, taking a swing at a few of the nearest Daleks and Cybers as he cleared a path to DA. "Hey! We're in no condition to keep fighting right now!" he called out to the remaining party members. "Our top priority should be keeping the Doctor safe!" he helped pull DA off of the ground, then urged main-FE to follow him, as well. "We can't win against the Daleks one-on-one — a well-aimed laser is a one-hit kill, and if we kept on throwing ourselves at their armies like that, eventually we'd all go down, one-by-one." he told them, the Dalek cries fading in the distance as they continued to outrun them. Then, addressing main-FE in particular, he added, "I didn't want you to have to figure that out the hard way."
Meanwhile, the Doctor felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. But everything was still so chaotic that it was unlikely he'd bother answering, even if he wasn't injured. And in the state he was in, he hardly reacted to it at all.
"We'll come back for the Daleks and Cybermen once we have a plan to defeat them that isn't a complete suicide mission — and we'll need the Doctor's help for that!" alt-FE continued. He then spotted FF and the Doctor up ahead, and they all regrouped as they turned down an empty-looking hallway. "We can hide in here for now." alt-FE stated, approaching a door marked as 'authorized personnel only'. But of course, it was locked. "Ugh, hang on…" alt-FE then revealed that he was also in possession of a sonic screwdriver, which he used to easily open the door and let everyone inside. It appeared to be a storage room of some sort. It was a bit cramped, but there was just enough room for everyone to fit inside and have a moment of peace.
By this point in time, the Doctor was rapidly regaining his senses, and decided he felt at least well enough to stand up on his own. He tried to stretch, but he winced and grabbed his left shoulder as it still felt incredibly sore — but at least the pain stopped there, and he didn't feel anything else from the rest of his arm…
While the last few minutes were a bit of a blur for him, the Doctor was still pretty sure he remembered seeing this mysterious newcomer wield a duplicate of his own specially-crafted baseball bat and his sonic screwdriver. "You… you there." the Doctor spoke up, still not feeling completely with-it just yet. "Who are you, and how do you have my, uh, um…"
"I… came here to help." alt-FE answered vaguely, directing his response to the group as a whole as he continued. "I was worried that, if I didn't do anything to save the Doctor…" he trailed off, not sure how much he wanted to reveal. "Anyway — Doctor, how are you feeling? Are you badly hurt?" he asked.2
"Well, uh, the good news is, my arm doesn't hurt anymore." the Doctor replied, his brain fog mainly cleared up by this point. "The bad news is… I can't feel my arm at all, now." he admitted sadly, his left arm hanging limp at his side. "But! I'm pretty sure that's only temporary. …Pretty sure."
"Anyway, I still want to know — where did you get another-" he cut himself off as he felt his phone vibrating again. "Ugh, who keeps calling me at a time like this…" the Doctor muttered, awkwardly reaching into his left pocket with his right hand. "Can't they tell I'm… wait, this is- the TARDIS! Someone's calling from the TARDIS!" he exclaimed, frantically answering the phone and walking to the edge of the group. "Yes, hello? Who is this? Beatles, is that you?"
…
"What? When did you even- how long have you been in there? Oh, never mind, that's not important right now — where are you? I was in the human world when I heard the TARDIS lift off without me, and now I can't summon her back."
…
"You're where?"
…
The Doctor let out a tired sigh. "Ok then, I think I know what the problem is, now…" If he still had two usable arms, he'd be rubbing the bridge of his nose in annoyance.
…
"Wait, did you say there's a Dalek in there with you?!"
…
Whatever the Doctor heard next must've been at least mildly comforting, as his still-visibly-worried demeanor relaxed slightly. "Ok, uh… is the Beatles still there?"
…
"What? There's no one?! What about RvB?!"
…
"Ehhh he's got red-and-blue armor and I left him chained up and unconscious in the console room for the safety of… all existence, or at least to keep him out of my hair until I could finish taking care of this whole Dalek situation."
…
The Doctor exhaled another worry-filled sigh. "Ok, well… there's nothing I can do about any of that right now. First I need to get my TARDIS back — but if the HADS is activated then the remote summoning is automatically disabled, and I won't be able to reenable it — or use the TARDIS for much of anything at all — until I either physically travel to it, or someone brings it to me. Oh! Maybe you could, uh…" the Doctor paused and glanced at his surroundings, considering the possibility that the Daleks or Cybermen might have some eyes and ears even in this innocuous room. In a hushed tone, he continued, "You could use… that thing that we agreed wouldn't ever be used unless it was absolutely necessary."
…
"Yes, that."
…
"I'm stranded in a building full of Daleks and Cybermen and I'm lucky to be alive right now, and there's no one else who can fly the TARDIS back to me — yes, this is absolutely necessary."
……
"Well, you know, flying the TARDIS is like… it's instinct. For me, anyway. So if you have… that to help you, then, I think you'll do fine. The TARDIS always knows where I am, so, just have her hone in on my location and bring her here. It'll be easier than trying to manually copy a set of coordinates — especially since I couldn't even tell you this building's address off the top of my head, now that I think of it. In any case! The rest will come naturally to you once you're… you know." he explained. "Once you've landed, just stay inside and call me again so that I can find you. I don't want you to get mixed up in this Dalek business. Good luck!" he chirped before hanging up.
He then spun around to face the rest of the group. "I have good news!" he triumphantly proclaimed. "I know what's happened with the TARDIS, and I have someone who'll be bringing her here shortly. Or at least, by 'here' I mean somewhere in this building. Precision jumps are difficult, even for me, so we might still have a bit of searching to do, but it's better than being completely stranded."
"In any case," the Doctor continued, turning his attention towards alt-FE. "That bat was a one-of-a-kind, how did you wind up with a copy of it?" he asked skeptically. "And my screwdriver — I never give anyone my screwdriver. Well, no, actually, that's not entirely true — I do let people borrow my screwdrivers from time to time. But I don't remember lending out that particular screwdriver to anyone recently, especially since I have it right here…" he continued, retrieving his own sonic screwdriver from his pocket. It was the same model that alt-FE was carrying. "So this means… you're either my future spouse — which seems unlikely, given that you haven't tried flirting with me at all, nor do you seem to be shaken up by the tragic realization that I have no memory of you — or…" the Doctor's eyes widened as he put the rest of the pieces together.
"Oh sweet Rassilon this is actually happening!" the Doctor exclaimed, his face lighting up with a giddy smile as he paced across what little floorspace was available to him. "Haha, after 50-odd years, I assumed it would never happen! But no, you're- you're me! Or, rather, the next me — or possibly, the me several mes from now? Wait, how many versions of me will even exist? Sure, by Time Lord rules I get 13 — but if my fanbase dies out, that overrules the possibility of future regenerations after that. How many more years can I expect to live for? Say, how old are you right now, at least?" he asked alt-FE. "Wait! No, don't answer that — I shouldn't be asking questions about my own future." he spoke up before alt-FE could answer, quickly returning to his own rambling. "But anyway, I can regenerate! That's amazing! I mean, I always hoped that I could regenerate, but, you know, without knowing for sure, and not being very eager to test it out…" he trailed off, making a 'well, you know' sort of gesture. "But, now I do know! And that's great! Oh, but I do want to know — is it going to be a Classic-style regeneration where I die and then wake up in my new body? Or will it be that New Who, glowey, exploding-from-the-hands-and-face thing where I'm awake the whole time? Or is all of that still too much to ask? Oh, and…" he paused and stepped closer to alt-FE, looking him over closely. "Is it… is the new face really that bad?" he asked worriedly. "You know, with the mask and all…" the Doctor had hardly noticed at first, as alt-FE had kept his hood pulled down to obscure his face much of the time — but, upon close inspection, the Doctor could tell that he was wearing some kind of subtle mask3 underneath that hood, as well. "I mean, I figured it would be in our nature to be dissatisfied with every new set of physical characteristics we could possibly change into, but…"
Just then, the Doctor felt his phone buzzing again. "Ah, I think that's our ride!" he chirped before answering it, turning away from the group as he continued his conversation. "How did it go? Did you make it over alright?"
……
The Doctor's optimistic demeanor started to deflate as he listened to what must've been a not-so-great response. "Ok, well, uh…" he sighed. "No, that's fine, don't stress about it — I'll figure something out."
…..
"Well uh, actually, no, that's not a bad idea! Since you're already in Fandom Square, maybe you could do something else for me — besides, there's always the chance that the TARDIS knows something we don't and sent you there for a reason."
…
"Yeah, might as well! Maybe you'll even help me figure out what happened with Beatles and the naked Dalek and all that."
……
"Well, do you know how to get to the wardrobe room?"
…
"Good — then just go through there and take whatever you think looks right. I know I have more than one fez and Tom Baker scarf; just wear those and no one will tell the difference! Oh, and don't forget to grab a spare TARDIS key and lock the door behind you. I hid one in the Androids of Tara DVD case — you can use that. And if things get too difficult, you can always go back inside. Good luck again!" the Doctor then hung up, and once again turned to address the rest of the party.
"So… there's more good news and bad news." he stated hesitantly. "The bad news is, it looks like the TARDIS won't be coming here after all. Or at least not anytime soon." he admitted, looking down at the floor. "The good news is… well, at least she's not stuck at the South Pole anymore, and I think that's a step in the right direction."
Soul Eater — Scene Resonance!
Black Butler — One hell of a segue!
Black Butler stiffened as RvB shot a laser into the air. "Soul, prepare for battle!"
"Wait, what? We're fighting this guy? After everything you said about him?!"
"I've already called for backup, but in the meantime, we can't let him run amok in this powerful new form."
Reluctantly, Soul Eater transformed back into his scythe form. But before Black Butler could act, Touhou fired her own attack on the metal menace, causing the entire tank to flip over. "Ah, nice work!"
Just then, a familiar mechanical wheezing sound filled the air, and a hazy image of the Doctor's TARDIS soon appeared in front of them. "Ah, as if on cue." Black Butler mused. "I'm sure the Doctor will have a better idea of how to handle this threat."
Once the TARDIS finished materializing, Black Butler waited for the Doctor to emerge from it. …But no such thing happened. She waited for a few seconds, and considered just knocking on the door, but she ultimately decided that turning her back on this upgraded version of RvB for even a second might not be the best plan. "On second thought," she then leapt into the air and landed with a thud on the tank's exposed underside. "Answer me — when did you receive this new form? What connection do you have with the Daleks?" she pressed on. "If you don't cooperate…" she gently placed the tip of the blade against the tank's exterior. "I might have to break your fancy new toy into pieces."
"Wait, we're doing what?" Soul Eater objected. "Is that even possible? We don't know what kind of magic-infused or sci-fi bullshit metal this thing's made out of!"
"Shhh! Just let me do the talking!"
Finally, the TARDIS door slowly opened, and a tentative-looking Doctor poked his head out. Although this newcomer was indistinguishable from the other Doctor based on his physical characteristics, a very careful observer might notice that his outfit was a bit different than what the Doctor was last seen wearing. He still wore the signature scarf, but it seemed he had neglected to wear a bowtie underneath.4 His coat was similar, but plainer, without the question marks on the lapels. Ten's red trainers had been swapped for Eleven's boots, and he didn't bother at all with the red-and-blue glasses. The fez looked the same, but this Doctor clone/impersonator/whatever-he-was seemed to be having some trouble keeping it on right, as it nearly fell off his head as he stepped through the doorway.
"Sooo…" the Doctor spoke up awkwardly, nearly getting his scarf caught in the door as he pulled it closed behind him. "Am I, uh… interrupting something…?"
1I'm controlling alt-FE for part of this post to help move things along, but only up to a point. For the latter half of this post, I stopped controlling alt-FE, so that Minerva can write a reaction for whatever the Doctor says and does beyond that point. I considered following Neo1's suggestion and adding sub-headings to make the distinction between the two parts more clear, but, I couldn't find a good break-off point, so… expect another footnote for that.
2This is it. This is the part where I stopped controlling alt-FE. Everything past that is fair game to react to in your next post, Minerva.
3I just wanted there to be a reason why no one immediately recognized this guy as Fire Emblem. I have provided a reason. As for what the mask looks like — I leave that to you, Minerva.
4Not that a bowtie would've been very noticeable with an excessively-long scarf wrapped around his neck so many times, in his defense.
