Family Sucks

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SacredWarrior

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I'm going through a pretty stressful time and I need to vent before I snap and hurt someone.

My grandma's older sister (my great aunt) has stomach cancer really badly and is pretty much near death. Grandma has practically been the main caretaker since the diagnosis since my aunt's only son doesn't come very often since he works and he doesn't have a good relationship with her. Ironically my grandmother also works (she's a bus driver for Durham School Services and works with special needs kids) and she hasn't been to work in two weeks).

Add the fact that my great aunt lives in Memphis and Grandma and I live in Brighton (which is a 30 minute to an hour drive) and ya got a stressful situation.

The issue is that my great aunt is (for lack of a better word) a hell-raising bitch. She always has been and always will be even on her own fucking death bed. She's so problematic that NO ONE except for my grandma, her son, and her neighbor bother with her. I don't even pity her at all for suffering. In fact, I'm pissed at her because if she had went to the doctor sooner (and was aggressive about it), she wouldn't be so close to death.

I know I'm being hard on her but since she's being so idiotic, I'm pretty sure it's justified.

The BIGGEST problem is that my great aunt isn't even grateful or nice to my grandma. She doesn't appreciate anything she does for her and still acts like her bitter, bitchy self and then wants pity because she's in pain. FUCK THAT! But she doesn't treat her son that way which makes no sense since they don't even get along well and when they were living together, he even put her out and she had to stay with my uncle and his girlfriend for a while.

Grandma usually just yells at her and storms out, coming home to clear her head and then goes back. I keep telling her to stop going back and just leave her alone to make her learn a hard lesson but she refuses since she's the only living sibling she has left. Grandma had two sisters and three brothers and she's the baby. They're all gone except for said great aunt so Grandma's mainly doing this out of duty even though I can tell she's stressed out and tired.

I love my great aunt but I really can't stand her sometimes. To be honest, I don't even feel sorry for her that much. Is that wrong? I just want all of this to be over so Grandma won't be so worried and stressed anymore but she'll be very depressed and sad since after my great aunt dies, she'll have VERY little family left. She lost a cousin and niece (her brother's son) last week and she only has one child left (my uncle died in a motorcycle accident in 2008 and my mother passed away suddenly in 2013).

Nowadays I'm just worried and anxious for Grandma's well-being (physically and mentally) but she keeps telling me that she's fine. Am I worrying too much?

Family sucks. Period.
 
Someone in your family probably already looked into this, but it may be something to bring up/find out that could help.
Does your great aunt have a mental disability/problem at all? When my mother was under a bad batch of pills, she was ungrateful/selfish/everything she would have never stood for. So is it a possibility that your great aunt might have some kind of mental problem making her like that?
 
Someone in your family probably already looked into this, but it may be something to bring up/find out that could help.
Does your great aunt have a mental disability/problem at all? When my mother was under a bad batch of pills, she was ungrateful/selfish/everything she would have never stood for. So is it a possibility that your great aunt might have some kind of mental problem making her like that?
No she doesn't have anything wrong with her mentally as far as I know. My grandma would've said something if that was the case.
 
No she doesn't have anything wrong with her mentally as far as I know. My grandma would've said something if that was the case.
It's possible she could have something that no one knows about (yet).

Not everyone with a mental illness is diagnosed.
 
It's possible she could have something that no one knows about (yet).

Not everyone with a mental illness is diagnosed.
Yeah true but since she's pretty close to Grandma (despite the rockiness), she would've said something. Honestly, this is just how she is. Low-down as hell
 
for the primary question

Nowadays I'm just worried and anxious for Grandma's well-being (physically and mentally) but she keeps telling me that she's fine. Am I worrying too much?
I don't think you're worrying too much. Even if things seem fine most of the time, there's a difference between "Peace" and "Quite" Things may be quite at the time, but that normally means emotions are simmering and bottling up.

The situation vaguely reminds me of my step grandmother (Except I have 0 love for that woman. In fact, it's probably in the negative) I'm a bit worried about my grandfathers well being (Mentally that is) he's super depressed and I am almost 100% sure that it's because of her. So if it's anything like that situation, or my mothers old situation, then you have every reason to be super worried.

But even so, what can be done about your situation? If people in your family insist all is good, then I doubt anything will/can change DX It may be something that will just have to work its self out till your grandmother finally has enough/your great aunt messes up big time.
 
for the primary question


I don't think you're worrying too much. Even if things seem fine most of the time, there's a difference between "Peace" and "Quite" Things may be quite at the time, but that normally means emotions are simmering and bottling up.

The situation vaguely reminds me of my step grandmother (Except I have 0 love for that woman. In fact, it's probably in the negative) I'm a bit worried about my grandfathers well being (Mentally that is) he's super depressed and I am almost 100% sure that it's because of her. So if it's anything like that situation, or my mothers old situation, then you have every reason to be super worried.

But even so, what can be done about your situation? If people in your family insist all is good, then I doubt anything will/can change DX It may be something that will just have to work its self out till your grandmother finally has enough/your great aunt messes up big time.
Or until she dies since she doesn't have much time left. Things probably will have to work out by themselves.
 
Update: My great-aunt passed away this morning :(
 
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