Family Secrets

Kennedy smiled as she watched Juliette head up the stairs. She continued putting the dishes away before settling on the couch beside Eva and Jupiter. Jupiter was still curled on one corner of the couch, sketching something Kennedy was unable to see.

Hugo glanced up and smiled at Juliette as she paused outside the door. She apologized for staring after a moment, and Hugo only shrugged and flashed the girl a peace sign. He didn't mind her looking at him. The boy coughed again, glaring at his twin before tossing another tissue in his brother's direction. Ronan shrieked and scrambled back up onto the bed. "Stop it!" the boy barked, though he was laughing good-naturedly. "You nasty ass mess." He flopped back onto his bed.

Hugo, having grown bored with badgering his twin, leaned off the side of his bed to open the rat cage off to the side of the room. The cage only housed a single male rat, even though rats were usually happiest in groups. Hugo stuck his arm out to let the black and white rat crawl up to his shoulder. Ace had been an exception to the usual rule. He was particularly aggressive towards other rats, and had been extremely fearful and somewhat aggressive towards most people as well before Hugo had met him. Ace tolerated most everyone else at the very most, but he loved Hugo.
 
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Juliette pulled out the little ziploc with her toothbrush and a little travel toothpaste, then hesitantly and quietly closed her door so she could change into pajamas. She only had one set, a slightly too small teal tank top and soft pajama pants that were a little short at the ankles. Changing went easier when she kept her eyes toward the ceiling. Then she pulled on her mother's cardigan that was far too long at the sleeves, but made her feel warm. Then she left her room and headed to the bathroom down the hall, passing Ronan and Hugo again, but not looking their way. She got to the bathroom and locked the door behind her to roll up her sleeves and brush her teeth, avoiding eye contact with her reflection.

She yawned again, then put her toothbrush and toothpaste back in its little baggie again before she left. On her way back to the guest room, movement drew her eye for a second to the boys' room, but she thought she saw--she paused in her footsteps again. And saw a small furry creature perched on Hugo's shoulder. She blinked for a moment, confused and bleary eyed. She hadn't seen a cage from her perspective outside the door, so she looked a little confused, but curious. "You..have a rat?" she asked
 
The rat had settled himself on Hugo's shoulder, and was now quietly chattering his teeth in contentment, his eyes most of the way closed. Hugo's vest finally stopped vibrating began to slowly deflate itself, the machine it was attached to letting out a quiet beep before shutting itself down. Hugo let out a relieved sigh and shrugged the vest off, gingerly lifting it out of Ace's way. He removed the mask from his face and set it aside before reaching up to scratch the furry creature on his shoulder.

He looked up to see Juliette watching curiously from the doorway. "I do," he answered softly. "His name is Ace." Hugo extended his arm slightly, and the rat crawled down onto his outstretched hand. "You can pet him if you want." He paused and then added, "As long as your hands are clean. He doesn't see so great, so if your hands smell like food he might think you have food and nip you. Not hard, but some people are afraid of it."
 
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Juliette bit her lips, shifting from foot to foot a little nervously before she entered their room. Her eyes flicked back and forth between the boys as she walked in. It was a little messy, but she didn't step on anything of theirs.
"You can pet him if you want." He paused and then added, "As long as your hands are clean. He doesn't see so great, so if your hands smell like food he might think you have food and nip you. Not hard, but some people are afraid of it."
She nodded at the warning and crouched a little to get a better look at Ace. He was pretty cute. There had been rats that moved about her father's house at night sometimes, frightening her before she tried to sleep, but she had never seen any. This, she decided, was finally something she wasn't afraid of. She reached out slowly, letting him sniff her fingers. Ace moved his teeth against one of her nails a little, but didn't hurt her at all. She tentatively moved her index finger onto his head and rubbed it over his fur a few times, letting a tiny smile edge the corners of her lips before she stifled a yawn. She was still standing a little closer to Hugo than she was totally comfortable with, but at least she was pretty sure by now that he wasn't contagious. "Thanks," she whispered, meeting his eyes for a moment before they gazed softly back at his little friend.
 
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Juliette cautiously made her way across the room to Hugo and began to pet the rat. Ace nibbled at the girl's fingernails for a moment before prodding at her finger with his front paws. Juliette began stroking the rat's head and Ace closed his eyes again, quietly chattering his teeth as Juliette stroked him. Eventually, the girl pulled her hand away, and Ace crawled back up Hugo's arm before burrowing into the collar of the boy's shirt and poking his head out.

"You're welcome," Hugo said, smiling at Juliette. "Thank you for the cough drops earlier. They don't do much of anything for my lungs, but my throat always hurts after I've been coughing so much, so they helped with that."
 
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When she pulled her hand away, Ace returned to his spot next to Hugo's neck and she watched the way it climbed, fascinated.
"You're welcome," Hugo said, smiling at Juliette. "Thank you for the cough drops earlier. They don't do much of anything for my lungs, but my throat always hurts after I've been coughing so much, so they helped with that."
Juliette shrugged in a helpless gesture; it wasn't much. Though she was glad he gained some relief from them anyway. "Goodnight," she mumbled kind of awkwardly, then gave a little wave to Ronan on her way out and back down the hall.

When she got back to the guest room, she nearly closed the door behind her, but then left it open just enough to let a sliver of light in. When she crawled onto the bed, the biggest one she'd ever slept in before, she could feel how tired she was. But when she was tucked under the covers and laying on the pillows, she couldn't seem to let the tiredness relax her. Juliette could feel memories start to creep into the darkness behind her eyelids. She huffed, then twisted so she was facing the wall. Then began to count. She had to count in her head to at least 10,000 before she finally fell asleep, and even then, it was a light sleep broken by the beginning of the sunrise on a partly cloudy morning. The house was silent and she was covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

Juliette sighed, then sat up slowly, shivering as the covers slipped down to her waist. She took a few minutes to deliberate, then formulated a plan while the snow fell silently outside her window. She stood, toes cold on the wood floor, then silently opened her door further to peek out. No one was up yet. She padded quietly down the hallway with a new pair of underwear and meager toiletries, then locked the door behind her when she reached the bathroom, careful to turn the doorknob before she closed it so it wouldn't click. She turned the shower on and left it cold, then peeled off her pajamas, hung her cardigan from a hook behind the door. Her skinny arms had dark purple bruises encircling both wrists and a lighter pair around her elbows, both of which were vaguely hand shaped. They ached when she moved them. Regardless, Juliette took a quick shower, brushed her teeth under the spray so she wouldn't drive up the water bill . She was trembling in the cold water the whole time as she scrubbed and scrubbed at her skin and used as little as was needed from the shampoo and conditioner bottles. She wondered if the dirty feeling trapped under her skin would ever go away. When she turned the water off, teeth chattering, she realized she hadn't gotten herself a towel. But she was so cold, she pushed past the worries that someone would know she used theirs when she grabbed for the nearest one hanging next to the shower curtain.

When she had redressed into her PJs again and dropped her used underwear off in the laundry basket already in the guest room closet, Juliette then crept quietly downstairs to learn where everything was from the kitchen and pantry. She looked in every drawer and even climbed on counters to see into the higher cabinets, all as silent as a mouse. When she found the big pantry closet, she stepped inside, eyes wide, and slipped a few granola bars into her cardigan pockets so she could stash them in her room later. She knew it would probably be awhile before anyone woke up, so she stepped back into the kitchen, wet hair dripping down her back. She stood staring outside the window over the sink, debating whether or not she should make breakfast. On one hand, they might get mad if she didn't. She'd be awfully ungrateful to take up space and eat their food without ever making any for them. But on the other, she wasn't sure she knew how to make enough for everyone and she didn't know what they liked. What if she made a mess or wasted too much food? Juliette sighed. Watching the snowflakes fall was the easiest decision she'd made since she arrived, but she was still always paying attention, even when there wasn't anything around to pay attention to. Her eyes rarely stayed in one place for long, her ears were always listening for approaching noises, like footsteps on the stairs; the little hairs all over her skin felt like they were constantly on end, ready to brace her for the next time a fist came near. And in all of this, was a little girl staring at the snow fall.
 
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Eva was the first one awake the following morning. She shifted slowly in the bed, trying not to disturb Kennedy, who was asleep beside her with her head resting on Eva's chest. Kennedy rolled over and burrowed further into the covers, and Eva leaned down to press a kiss to her wife's forehead. She slipped from the bed and into the attached bathroom, shivering at the cold floor. She showered and slipped back into her pajamas, pulling a robe on over her clothes to help with the cold.

She stepped out into the hallway, doubting that anyone else would be awake yet. The twins' bedroom door was closed, and Eva knew Hugo likely wouldn't get up until he was badgered out of his bed. Jupiter's door was open, and Eva caught a glimpse of them lying in bed with their back to her, burrowed under their blankets. Eva wondered what time they'd fallen asleep. Jupiter hadn't been sleeping well lately, waking up every few hours. They had always struggled to fall and stay asleep, especially in the winter.

Eva noticed that Juliette's bedroom door was propped open, but she didn't venture further down the hall to check on the girl, instead heading down the stairs into the living room. Guess it's my turn for breakfast, Eva thought. She stepped silently into the kitchen and noticed Juliette, standing and watching the snow fall from the window over the sink.

"Good morning Juliette," Eva greeted as she entered the kitchen. "Did you sleep all right?" She pulled open the pantry cabinet and her gaze scanned over it's contents. "Any breakfast suggestions?" she asked Juliette. "I was going to make pancakes, but since you're awake I might as well take suggestions."
 
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The instant Juliette heard movement, then footsteps on the stairs, she pulled the granola bars out of her cardigan pockets and slipped them into the waistband of her pajama pants, pulled a little higher than would be normal to avoid the awful bruising on her hips. This way, they would be hidden by her cardigan and wouldn't make any crinkly noises when she moved. Clearly she hadn't expected anyone else to be up this early. She hoped she hadn't woken anyone. She buttoned the pink cardigan at the front, then turned her gaze back out the window wondering how long she had been staring, when Eva walked in.

She turned to give a polite smile at her greeting, then nodded in response. For once, she wasn't lying about that. Despite probably having had nightmares, considering the sheen of sweat, she didn't remember any of them, and she felt awake; though that might have been the freezing shower.
She pulled open the pantry cabinet and her gaze scanned over it's contents. "Any breakfast suggestions?" she asked Juliette. "I was going to make pancakes, but since you're awake I might as well take suggestions."
Juliette's shoulders grew tense as Eva looked into the pantry, but she didn't seem to be searching for anything in particular. She was unprepared then, for her question. Juliette was used to making all the meals, and breakfast was rarely anything fancy. Toast mostly, bacon sometimes, eggs rarely. But pancakes...she hadn't eaten pancakes in what felt like forever. She didn't want to make Eva do the work, but she also had trouble resisting a temptation like that. She hesitated, lip between her teeth. "Um. Pancakes are good. I could help," she offered nervously. She hadn't ever made them before and wasn't sure she wanted to make a fool of herself, but she felt obligated to at least assist her.
 
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Eva smiled when Juliette nodded in response to the question of having slept well. The girl seemed surprised at the suggestion of pancakes, and after a moment of hesitation, seemed pleased by the idea and even offered to help. "Sure," Eva said. "I could probably use the help." She began pulling ingredients from cabinets and the refrigerator. "Anything specific you like in your pancakes?" Eva asked her as she began to heat the pan on the stove. "Hugo likes peanut butter in his because..." she trailed off. "Because Hugo is Hugo." She chuckled softly as she finished speaking, pushing the jar of peanut butter off to the side so she wouldn't add it to everyone else's pancakes.

The woman glanced up as she heard footsteps descending the staircase. Jupiter appeared at the base of the stairs, appearing somewhat uncomfortable and tired. They had combed their hair down so it fell across their forehead, and Eva could see that their nails had recently been done, manicured and painted a brilliant shade of pink. They looked nice, but Eva knew that this wasn't necessarily the best sign, especially considering Jupiter's tiredness.

Jupiter often painted their nails, but the only time they ever looked this nice was when Jupiter was trying to distract themself. Eva knew they had been more dysphoric than usual lately, and she suspected that, perhaps, it was part of the reason they'd had such trouble sleeping lately.

Jupiter raised a hand in a halfhearted wave, and drifted past them toward the refrigerator. Jupiter rooted around in the fridge for a moment before pulling out an energy drink and settling themself on the couch, sipping from the can in near-silence.

"Hey," Eva greeted them. "Rough night?"
Jupiter shrugged. "It is what it is," they mumbled.
"You want anything special in your pancakes?"
"Not really."

Eva sighed and moved away from the stove for a moment, reaching out over the back of the couch to gently tousle Jupiter's hair. "Your nails look nice," she complimented gently. "That color looks good on you."

Jupiter gave a small smile in response, curling up in the corner of the couch. Eva leaned down to gently kiss Jupiter on the forehead before returning to the stove.
 
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Juliette watched for which ingredients Eva pulled out of the fridge, shaking her head at her request for a preference. She mentioned Hugo's love for peanut butter in his pancakes, which seemed strange. When she actually pulled out the jar though, with the red screw-on lid and golden brown paste inside, Juliette found herself staring at it, vision slightly blurry as she remembered how her mother's hand would scoop out a spoon with just enough peanut butter and press it on each grape, spoon upside down so it'd stick. She blinked and it vanished as Jupiter walked in, looking tired despite the effort clearly put into their appearance. Eva looked worried at his dismissive greeting and quiet entrance; Juliette kept her eyes on Eva, not wanting to further annoy Jupiter when their dissatisfied attitude put her on edge.

Eva tried to engage him further, even walking over to the couch
to gently tousle Jupiter's hair. "Your nails look nice," she complimented gently. "That color looks good on you."

Jupiter gave a small smile in response, curling up in the corner of the couch. Eva leaned down to gently kiss Jupiter on the forehead before returning to the stove.
Something about the exchange made her throat constrict uncomfortably. She gulped, but the feeling persisted, pressing at the back of her eyes as little flashes of her mother showed up unexpectedly in her mind. Though she hadn't felt the need to be held in a very long time, suddenly Juliette really wanted a hug. Her own arms wrapped around her midsection, further pressing the large cardigan against her, but her damp hair still kept her back cold. Her immediate response to all of this was to leave, feeling so vulnerable, but somehow this moment wasn't something she really wanted to run away from. As Eva began to return to the kitchen, however, she felt she had to. "I'll be right back," Juliette mumbled, then headed back up the stairs without any indication that anything was wrong.

She stayed quiet upstairs. When she reached the guest room, she pulled out the granola bars in her waistband and hid 2 of them swiftly in the folds of her pants in the second drawer of the dresser, and the last one in the corner between the mattress and the wall. Her lower lip was trembling. She winced, bit the inside of her cheek and took a couple of deep breaths, successfully fighting off the urge to cry. Then she closed the drawer without a sound and headed back downstairs so Eva wouldn't be left waiting long. When she got back to the kitchen and headed toward the stove, she tentatively asked Eva, "How should I help?"
 
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Eva turned to cast a worried look at Juliette. The girl had been watching her interactions with Jupiter, and something flashed in the girl's gaze that Eva couldn't quite pin down. She mumbled something that Eva failed to catch, and then started up the stairs. The girl returned after a minute or two, and Eva glanced up from the bowl at the counter, where she had begun to slowly sift together the powdered ingredients.

"Do you want to put the eggs in?" Eva asked her. She pushed the carton gingerly across the counter toward the girl. "The recipe needs three of them. I can measure out the milk while you do that." Eva pulled the carton of milk from the fridge as she spoke, and then took a measuring cup from one of the cabinets under the counter.

Measuring out the milk, Eva added it to the bowl and then went to melt the butter in the microwave before adding that in too. "You can start stirring the batter together if you want," Eva told Juliette. "Just until the big lumps are gone from it."
 
"Do you want to put the eggs in?" Eva asked her. She pushed the carton gingerly across the counter toward the girl. "The recipe needs three of them. I can measure out the milk while you do that."
Juliette nodded, then opened the carton and pulled out each egg to crack and put in the bowl individually so the shells could return to the carton to be thrown away when she had the chance. While Eva prepared the butter, Juliette gathered all of the shells in her palm and threw them away before she was asked to stir the batter. She nodded again, then grasped the spoon sticking out of the big bowl and started stirring. With the top of the bowl at her chest level, the motion was a bit uncomfortable, especially as the loose sleeves of her cardigan started slipping down to her elbows, revealing rather dark bruises, most circling her wrists as she began to struggle with the batter.
 
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Eva glanced up from the drawer she was rummaging through, noticing Juliette struggling to stir the batter. She had forgotten how difficult it could be to stir. It had been some time since she had last made pancakes. Eva knelt and pulled the electric hand mixer from a cabinet below the counter. She plugged it in and sat it down. Juliette had begun to pull the bowl off the counter.

"Here," Eva told her. "Keep it on the counter. I don't want you to drop it. I forgot how hard it gets to mix. I should've pulled this out sooner. Just keep it on a lower setting, or it'll end up spraying everywhere." She flicked the mixer on and passed it to Juliette before she returned to the drawer she had been searching through.

Distracted in her search, Eva didn't notice as Kennedy descended the stairs and came up behind her, wrapping her arms around Eva's waist and resting her chin on Eva's shoulder. "Hi," Kennedy greeted.
Eva smiled and turned to look at Kennedy. "Good morning," she said, giving Kennedy a kiss on the cheek. "I didn't wake you up when I got up, did I?"
"Nah," Kennedy said, shaking her head and stepping back from Eva, who had entirely forgotten what she had been searching through the drawer for. Kennedy turned to look towards Juliette. "Good morning," she greeted. "How was your night?"
 
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Juliette looked up at Eva as she placed an electric mixer on the table.
"Here," Eva told her. "Keep it on the counter. I don't want you to drop it. I forgot how hard it gets to mix. I should've pulled this out sooner. Just keep it on a lower setting, or it'll end up spraying everywhere." She flicked the mixer on and passed it to Juliette before she returned to the drawer she had been searching through.
She bit her lip when she was told to keep it where it was, feeling the urge to apologize again. Eva didn't pause or further correct her though, so she just set the hand mixer tool aside and placed the bowl under the electric mixer as well as she could position it so it would mix, then did as she was told and turned it on the lowest setting. She'd never used one before, but it was somewhat intuitive. Once it was mixing for her though, she was left without a job again.

Kennedy came in as the mixer worked at the batter and had to stand on her tiptoes to place her chin on Eva's shoulder. Juliette tried to find something to do with her hands so she wasn't just staring. She placed her hands on either side of the bowl she had been previously been handling so it would shift less as the mixer swirled the contents with slightly more difficulty as time passed. When Kennedy addressed her, Juliette looked up at her, then shrugged. "Fine," she answered, unsure of how else she should answer apart from thanking them both for allowing her such a large bed in the first place. "What would you like in your pancakes?" she asked so that she wouldn't mess them up later.
 
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Kennedy smiled as Juliette mentioned she'd slept well. "Glad to hear it," she said. When the girl asked what Kennedy wanted in her pancakes, Kennedy had to pause and think for a moment. "Blueberries, if we have any," she answered. "There should be some in the fridge." She drifted over to the refrigerator as she spoke and pulled it open.

As Kennedy turned toward the fridge, Hugo sped down the stairs, followed by Ronan. Eva turned to face them, a look of surprise on her face. "Hugo out of bed without being dragged?" she asked. "I'm amazed." She turned to flip the pancake she had poured into the pan, having started on the plain ones.
"He smelled pancakes," Ronan told her. "His only two thoughts at any given moment are either food or white noise." He began to snicker as he finished speaking, letting out a high pitched shriek and darting out of the way as Hugo lobbed one of the couch pillows at him.

Jupiter had to duck out of the way, and they glared at Ronan as they sat up again. "Knock it off!" Jupiter barked.
Ronan whirled around to face their sibling. "Just because you're mad about whatever the hell you're mad about doesn't mean everybody else has to be!"
Jupiter opened their mouth to say something else, but Kennedy cut them off.

"Enough!" she snapped. She turned to look at Jupiter. "Go take a shower, or get dressed, or something else productive," she told them."I'm not letting you sulk on the couch all day." Jupiter slinked past her, looking apologetic, and Kennedy reached out to nudge them gently toward the stairs. Jupiter disappeared up the stairs, and Kennedy turned to look at Hugo, who had shrank nervously against the back of the couch when Jupiter raised their voice.
 
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When the girl asked what Kennedy wanted in her pancakes, Kennedy had to pause and think for a moment. "Blueberries, if we have any," she answered. "There should be some in the fridge." She drifted over to the refrigerator as she spoke and pulled it open.
Juliette nodded like an obedient waitress would, but just as she started to step toward the fridge to get them, Kennedy beat her to it, so she stayed put and filed her pancake preferences to her memory for future reference. A thunderous noise from outside the kitchen signified heavy steps rumbling down the stairs in quick succession. Juliette knew who was coming down, but their urgency made her shift nervously in place.

Eva turned to face them, a look of surprise on her face. "Hugo out of bed without being dragged?" she asked. "I'm amazed." She turned to flip the pancake she had poured into the pan, having started on the plain ones.
The uncomfortable girl internally cringed at the phrasing she used in reference to Hugo, but shook away the forming memories and focused instead on the way Eva's gentle hands flipped the pancakes with ease so she could possibly learn from her.
"He smelled pancakes," Ronan told her. "His only two thoughts at any given moment are either food or white noise." He began to snicker as he finished speaking, letting out a high pitched shriek and darting out of the way as Hugo lobbed one of the couch pillows at him.
The shriek caught her off guard, making her jumpy and somehow even more hypervigilant of the suddenly crowded room, but she reigned in any outward indications, hoping a pretense of calm was enough to convince her body to stop reacting to every little thing. She remembered how the morning had been before Eva came in, and longed for the silence to return. But the next thing Juliette knew was a succession of loud, angry voices and a thrown object or two.
"Knock it off!" Jupiter barked.
Ronan whirled around to face their sibling. "Just because you're mad about whatever the hell you're mad about doesn't mean everybody else has to be!"
Jupiter opened their mouth to say something else, but Kennedy cut them off.

"Enough!" she snapped. She turned to look at Jupiter. "Go take a shower, or get dressed, or something else productive," she told them."I'm not letting you sulk on the couch all day." Jupiter slinked past her, looking apologetic, and Kennedy reached out to nudge them gently toward the stairs.
Juliette had stayed frozen, save for the slight rise and fall of her short breaths and the terrified trembling in her hands. It was as if by staying as quiet and still as she possibly could, she might avoid drawing eyes in her direction, and thus perhaps avoid punishment. The strategy didn't always work, but she wasn't entirely in control of when her body decided to push her into fight or flight..or in this case, just panicked paralysis. Somewhere in her brain where kind of rational thoughts could form, she hoped no one had noticed her. Beyond knowing that movement draws the human eye, so could sudden stillness, and she knew one of them would perhaps be concerned enough to try and comfort her. She was genuinely afraid of what kind of overreaction her body would produce if she were touched right now.
 
Kennedy let out a quiet sigh as she turned toward Hugo. "It's all right, Hugo," she told him gently as she set the blueberries down on the counter. "I'm not angry at you." Her gaze travelled to the staircase. Truthfully, she wasn't mad at anyone at all. She wasn't mad at Jupiter. She knew why they were upset and somewhat bitter.

Dysphoria often came in waves for Jupiter. There were plenty of days where Jupiter was fine, or at least somewhat content. And then there were the days where they fidgeted uncomfortably each time they were glanced at by a stranger, the days Kennedy caught them staring anxiously at their own reflection, twisting and stretching as they bitterly examined their own proportions. There had been a few times when Kennedy and Eva had picked carefully through doctors, making appointments with the ones who might be able to understand Jupiter's identity and possibly prescribe them a low dose of estrogen.

So far though, all their efforts had been in vain. It was always hard to find doctors who would treat nonbinary patients. Often times, they had to lie to be treated at all, and it often led to them being treated improperly, something Kennedy didn't want for Jupiter, and she knew Jupiter didn't want for themself.

Hugo skirted out from behind the couch, still looking somewhat fearful, and plucked a blueberry from the container on the counter. He popped the berry into his mouth and gave a small, somewhat nervous grin. Kennedy followed the boy's gaze to Juliette, who had completely frozen to her spot. Kennedy stopped to look at her. She hadn't meant to upset her niece. Kennedy took a step towards the girl, leaning down slightly to meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Juliette," she said, her voice gentle and low. "Nobody is upset with you. You aren't in trouble."
 
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The silence that followed was deafening enough to make her ears ring. Kennedy then spoke to Hugo as if from the end of a tunnel, but she didn't dare turn around to watch her. An urge to run started creeping into limbs, but she still couldn't move, rooted to her spot near a corner with her eyes fixed on the peanut butter jar. One part of her kept yelling to turn her head or even move her gaze to look for oncoming threats, but her body wasn't listening. She heard Hugo move, but not Ronan or Eva. She briefly planned to dart upstairs, but shot down the plan since Jupiter was up there. Angry. Alone. A dangerous combination.

There was another silence, and then she felt eyes on her. Her heart was racing. She forced herself to turn her eyes toward Kennedy, now stepping toward her. Juliette took an instinctual step back, stiff as a board, all tense with fear. Her eyes briefly flicked toward an escape route around the island, but without upstairs as an option, the only other way out was the sliding door to the backyard. She didn't know if that was a dead end or not. She winced as Kennedy leaned down, then kept her eyes on the floor.
"I'm sorry, Juliette," she said, her voice gentle and low. "Nobody is upset with you. You aren't in trouble."
That doesn't matter, she thought. An angry person nearby is always dangerous. Gotta take it out on someone. Might as well be her.
"Ok," she whispered, swift and softly, growing more and more aware of the others watching. She hated all the attention, but she didn't know where to hide. Besides, turning her back on the person speaking to her was always an invitation to pull her back by the hair. She stayed put.
 
It took Juliette a few moments to react to Kennedy's gentle reassurance. She acknowledged it quietly, though the girl didn't quite appear convinced, and Kennedy got the sense that Juliette was desperate to have the attention off of her. Kennedy heard the shower start in the bathroom upstairs. She hoped Jupiter would be slightly less irritable when they returned.

Kennedy smiled at Juliette and then moved to stand next to Eva, who had finished the plain pancakes and started on the blueberry ones. Ronan shuffled his feet where he stood, and then looked to Juliette. "I'm sorry," he apologized, and then added, "I'm not really mad at Jupiter, and Jupiter probably isn't really mad at me. They probably just had a rough night." His gaze travelled toward the staircase and then he looked to Juliette again. "I...I was going to go downstairs and work on one of my costumes. You're welcome to come if you want."
 
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The shower turned on upstairs. Kennedy was distracted and Juliette let out a soft breath of relief. Kennedy smiled at her, but said nothing else before joining her wife at the stove. Juliette took the reprieve to breathe a little easier, but then Hugo spoke to her. She started, then clenched her teeth, scolding herself.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, and then added, "I'm not really mad at Jupiter, and Jupiter probably isn't really mad at me. They probably just had a rough night." His gaze travelled toward the staircase and then he looked to Juliette again. "I...I was going to go downstairs and work on one of my costumes. You're welcome to come if you want."
Juliette blinked, immediately thinking back to last night, when she abandoned Kennedy to finish dinner by herself. She shouldn't do that again, but she also had no clue how to better assist Eva. But it was still a good excuse to stay up here instead of head downstairs with a boy all alone. She wasn't really all that scared of Hugo, but she wasn't taking the chance of him following his brother downstairs. Juliette gulped, took a second to muster the courage to say no.

"Um. Thanks, but I said I'd help with the pancakes," she explained quietly. She turned to look back toward Eva and Kennedy. They didn't look like they needed help. She bit the inside of her cheek, then moved to gently pull the whisks out of the electric stirrer so she could wash them with the other utensils and things that she hoped they wouldn't be using anymore. She stayed out of the way, made herself small so she wouldn't be noticed, and still did what she was told. She hoped it was enough, but knew she rarely was.
 
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