Fame Has Gotten to Your Head, My Friend

  • Thread starter Hikari-chan (光ちゃん)
  • Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
So TheShadowOfMe had "first world problems". Kira wondered what that meant. Did that mean she (well, she seemed like a she) was rich? But she didn't seem like one of those stuck-up rich girls that filled her school... Maybe she just didn't think her problems were very important?

JustAnotherMirage: Well, I'll be here a while, so rant away! I won't judge ^^

pandalover, your parents seem pretty strict. must be hard :|

In her head, she added, At least you have parents... but that didn't seem like a good thing to say to someone who wanted to complain. So Kira kept that to herself.
 
Mai was apparently not the only one with family problems. Of course knew that before. But it felt more real when she heard, or read it from somebody else. Her parents also wanted her to be perfect. Her father had even gone so far as to become her manager so that he could keep a close eye on her work.

TheShadowOfMe: I hear you. I love my parents, but sometimes I just want to push them off a cliff for all the pressure they're putting on me. :/
TheShadowOfMe: Not because I would ever do that, but you know what I mean.

She added the latter just in case they would believe they had met a psycho or something. Why couldn't they try to become famous themselves instead of pushing their dreams onto her? Sure, she had wanted to do it at first, but now she when she wanted a break, they did not support her at all. Instead she was forced to push forward.

TheShadowOfMe: My parents went as far as to give me home education. They think meeting other people while studying will make my scores drop. >_< A's and B's in every subject and they're still not happy.

After she had become Mirage, she was forced to continue home education even in high school and college because her schedule couldn't fit into a normal school schedule. She dropped her college education during her freshman year though. It became way too much when she already had such a tight schedule as Mirage. Maybe she would pick it up later once she was done with Mirage... Or took a break from her.
 
pandalover: Well, @theshadowofme I guess I didn't have to deal with that. My parents were so stuck in their material bubble I still went to high school in a normal public school. I wanted to go to college but circumstances wouldn't allow me. I wanted to go to a performing arts school for ballet, but I had long since had to give that up thanks to my parents.

Miranda wasn't sure if she was giving away too much information. It seemed okay. She just really needed to let this go. This chat room was making her feel great and she had a mind to tell the other two.

pandalover: BTW, thanks for reading. I'm here to listen as well. @justanothermirage, you are on a site for complaining, so you must have something to whine about ;-)
 
Wow. Those parents are something else. That was Kira's first reaction.

It made her think what her parents would have been like, if she had them. But there was no point in thinking pointless thoughts like that.

Hearing about other people confess their family problems made her feel a little sad. It was a rare thing now, these moments when she thought about family.

You don't miss something you've never had.

JustAnotherMirage: I can't really say I fully relate, but I can see how dealing with your parents must be frustrating for both of you...

Then she couldn't help showing a little of her bitterness towards school.

JustAnotherMirage: @TheShadowOfMe But at least I can tell you from experience, you didn't miss all that much from being homeschooled...
@pandalover If there was something I would complain about, it's being in school. Being in school and being stuck with girls who think you're only worth talking to if you can afford your own private jet :|

Well they said to complain, so complain she would. And Kira had to admit, it felt good.
 
What Kira said struck a chord with Miranda. Sure, she did technically own a private jet, but it was mostly for her parents. She only used it once in a while...there wasn't much point in it since all her gigs were still in America. She wasn't mean to people...at least she wouldn't think she'd be. She had to be nice to fans, no matter what...that was Mandy May's job. But she didn't really have friends to know.

pandalover: Oh.
pandalover: I guess I know what it feels like to not have friends.
pandalover: Although, I guess that is an assumption, sorry!

Miranda wished she could take it all back...that was a stupid thing to type. She shut her laptop out of embarrassment and finally crashed.
 
TheShadowOfMe: @PandaLover Well, it might not be too late. I don't know your situation, but maybe once you move away from your parents, you could start applying for college. Or maybe just ballet classes on the side if nothing else. Don't give up on your dreams :)

Mai was a bit hesitant of pushing the reply button, but she did eventually. If someone had a passion for something, they should definitely do it. She just hoped that if the girl did what she wished to do, then she wouldn't get burnt by it later like Mai had. On the other hand, she probably wouldn't have parents pushing her further and further.

She looked at the other messages from JustAnotherMirage. Just like that person couldn't relate much to Mai, she couldn't relate much to her school problems.

TheShadowOfMe: @JustAnotherMirage I might not have missed much, but it would probably have been fun to at least get the chance to meet some friends growing up.
TheShadowOfMe: Though if one happens to become a target or frozen out for whatever reason, then home schooling would probably feel like the better alternative. Wanna go back in time and change places? As they say, don't judge someone before you've walked a mile in their shoes.

If that option had been a possibility, then she would have loved to do it. Sadly they weren't that technologically advanced.
 
After her replies, pandalover was suddenly went offline.

I guess I know what it feels like to not have friends.

...it would probably have been fun to at least get the chance to meet some friends growing up.

Of course Kira didn't think she was the only one with her problems, but it still felt strange to actually find people who felt the same way...

She'd try and catch pandalover online again sometime, if only to tell her she was right, and that she didn't need to apologize for her assumption. It was true.

And at least she had had a chance to make friends, although she blew it. TheShadowOfMe didn't even have that.

JustAnotherMirage: Yeah, I guess that's true. You probably wouldn't end up like me if you'd have gone to a regular school. You seem really nice :)
I'm sorry I got a bit carried away by the chance to vent XD
JustAnotherMirage: It would be interesting if we could actually do that!

Before she could write any more, her phone alarm went off. It was this time already? She would be late for work if she didn't leave right now!

She set the alarm to prevent herself from getting too engrossed in schoolwork. She was rarely caught so unaware by it now.

She hurriedly typed a goodbye,

JustAnotherMirage: Sorry, gtg. Thanks for listenting. It was nice chatting with you :)

turned off her laptop, changed out of her school uniform, and rushed out the door.

On the way to work she idly wondered if it could make anyone happy, walking a mile in her shoes.
 
At first Mai didn't realize that PandaLover had logged off. It was first when JustAnotherMirage decided to go that she saw the red prick beside the other username. So now she would be alone again. Oh well. She hadn't planned to chat the night away either way. She had to get to bed.

TheShadowOfMe: See you around the forum some other time ^^

She wrote, hoping it would be read before the girl disappeared. Then she too turned off her computer and jumped onto her bed. This was the first time she had talked about her problems to someone, and it felt really nice. It had been a long time since she had felt so relaxed. As she just laid there, not doing anything, not thinking about anything, slowly small thoughts started to appear. Ideas. Words. Inspiration.

It took her some minutes before she realized what it was. At that point she rushed up from the bed and headed to her desk. She finally had the inspiration to write a new song, and it was all thanks to a complaining forum on the internet. That was a story no one would believe.
 
Today there was no event on the tour calendar and Miranda could not be happier. That definitely did not mean her schedule was practically full, but that meant no standing on her feet for hours and having all the water come through the poors on her face. When she was younger and still naive, she would try and get dinner made for her and her parents so they could all eat together. Now she just kept her own kitchen stocked. She didn't know how to cook, but that never stopped her from trying. Sometimes it would look and taste great, sometimes it would be a flop. Tonight was one of those second instances.

She burnt her tofu onto the pan and couldn't even scrape it off. She hoped the maid wouldn't mind taking care of it...she really didn't know how.
I'm useless she thought to herself as she sat at her laptop eating one of the millions of T.V. dinners from her freezer.

She logged onto laserbeam after having checked her email. She opened the post she had started before. She had to start off by wondering if she should keep this private or public. She decided to do public since she wanted people's feedback. They wouldn't get to know her entire situation, but they would get to know her some.

Dear laserbeam,
I am trying this out. I want to see if getting things out on posts like these will help me feel better. I would love to get your feedback and learn from your own experiences. I do hope you share. Either way, I am grateful.

Today was a not so crazy day and it was amazing. The only problem is that now I am sitting here eating this T.V. dinner all alone. My parents are only half an acre away and yet none of us care to make the effort anymore. I know I am in my 20s now, but it sure would be great to have someone to share life with...a friend, a relative, a lover...anything!

Oh boy, I just realized that last part could attract creeps lol but I am keeping it on there!

How about you guys? Do any of you have loneliness problems? How do you deal?

Sincerely,
Miranda

She uploaded the post and browsed the rest of the site. She wondered why she hadn't heard from Izak, the girl, yet. It sure would be interesting to see what she has to say. Oh, she realized it could be a boy...it is the internet after all!
 
Kira walked into her small apartment. It was more of a room really, with the barest essentials of a kitchen and a bath.

But it was home, and Kira was glad to be there.

Last night was uneventful. Nothing much really happened at the 24-hour convenience store she worked at. She was on the night shift, but the shop was in a respectable neighborhood and she hadn't had any problems so far.

School was the same as it always was, maybe even a little better. The silent girl who sat beside her at Calculus had noticed her silver Mirage keychain and asked if she was going to see the upcoming concert. She had to say she wasn't (she couldn't afford it, the month was ending and she hadn't paid rent), and the girl had been silent after that. But still, it wasn't everyday that someone talked to her just because.

But what she was really looking forward to was this. She logged on to laserbeam.

She saw TheShadowOfMe's parting message in the chat room, and also another thing.

It was a post from someone named Miranda.

She seemed to have family problems as well. It made her wonder if this person was someone she had chatted with last night...

She replied.

I know how you feel. Sometimes I just wish I had someone to talk to. Lately I feel like I just move between work and school, work and school like a zombie O.O

Friends would be nice, tho I'm not sure I could handle a lover right now! Although I hope you can find one ;)

I'm not an expert on family stuff, but maybe you could try talking to your parents? Or just be around them more? I mean, even if it is just half an acre, maybe living apart makes it hard for them to reach out to you too? Idk, sorry if that wasn't much help...

She didn't leave a name, but she was signed in as JustAnotherMirage. Anyone looking at the reply would know who she was in the forums.

She wondered if anyone else would reply to the post. Site admin perhaps? It struck her as a little odd that she hadn't encountered any posts from any admin or moderators of the site.
 
Mai found herself sleeping on the desk in the morning. Looking down on the papers in front of her she found a lot of lyrics and notes written down. Scrapped ideas had been thrown down on the floor, it was almost impossible to see it beneath all the paper. One song was almost finished, she would just have to re-write it a bit and see what chords and instruments would fit to it. Then there were three other half done project, one with lyrics but no melody, another one only a melody without lyrics, and the third a few chords, the first part and a few sentences she wanted to put in somewhere.

It had been a long time since she had worked on so many things at the same time without getting stuck within the first five minutes. And her parents said that the internet was for brainless fools. It had just given her back her muse.

Smiling at her work, she suddenly heard her father calling for her. It was time for breakfast and then she would have to leave to get to her repetition. No rest even the day after her last concert.

The day snailed forward like it always did. First she had to practice her choreography, which she already knew every step to. Then it was the song repetition, not a single tone went wrong. And then it was the talk with the producer whom would help them make their next music video. His vision of how her video would be was completely different from her vision. Of course her father told her not to argue about it. He was the producer and he knew what would sell, even though it seemed to go against the message of the song.

After the day finally ended, Mai returned home and hurried up on her room. She turned on her computer immediately and logged in on.. What else? Laserbeam of course. She noticed quickly that a message had been posted by a Miranda. JustAnotherMirage had also commented on it.

I can kind of relate. Even though my parents and I live under the same roof, we rarely talk. I do work with him, but that seems to be all we do together. Work. It feels as if I'm nothing else but a employee to him. My mom only talks to me if she wants to scold me.

It definitely becomes lonely, especially since I haven't been able to go to a normal school and get friends like most teenagers. Sometimes I don't know where I belong in this world. Is my job the only thing I'm meant to do, the only thing I'm meant to be? My parents say that my existence is important to a lot of people, but I still feel like I'm nothing more but air, it's like I don't exist.

It would be so nice to meet someone that could understand. A friend. Just someone to talk to. But I guess life doesn't want that for me..

As for how I deal with it... Well, when I find it out myself, I'll tell you. Right now it seems like I'm going forward on an empty fuel tank >_<

As an advice though, try to call your parents and ask them about their day or something. That might seem insignificant, but I think it might help loosening up the tension between one another. Hope it goes well for you Miranda :)

Well, she had told them to share their experiences. Ranting about her emotions seemed to make it feel much better. Maybe she would make her first official post on the website soon. She hoped her advice would come to some use. Considering she hadn't gotten any closer to her parents during the last years, she was definitely no expert in that area.
 
Miranda saw she had two new replies to her post. She was so excited! She clicked to the post but as she scrolled down to the replies, she realized she had used her actual name!

Damn, she muttered. Since pandalover was written at the top, she was sure others could connect the two. But could they connect them to the real her? Would they be able to figure out she was Mandy May? She didn't think so. She would just have to be super careful about what she typed from here on out.

pandalover: @TheShadowOfMe and @JustAnotherMirage I realize I put my real name in the post lol So much for being anonymous >_< Oh wellllll....anyway thank you both for your advice. I think I will call over and see what they are doing. I do miss seeing them outside of big events.

@TheShadowofMe Your job seems very important to you and your family. What do you do?
I know you can talk to us...even if we are only virtual friends lol

She held the page and waited for a reply.
 
Oh boy. As Mai read the text she became slightly worried. Maybe she had said too much. What was she going to say? That she was a singer and her father was her manager? ... Actually, nobody knew that Mirage's manager was her father, so she could easily say that without it being weird. And there were thousands of unnoticed artists in the world. She didn't have to speak about her success.

Actually, I'm a singer. I'm kind of lame compared to Mirage though. My father is my manager, and he does a great job, but he have a hard time turning the work side off at home. Sometimes I just feel like quitting. All those hours of choreography practice, song writing, singing practice, etc. No matter how well I do, it doesn't seem to be enough for him.

I don't know. It doesn't go bad for me, people seems to like what I do. But I still feel this pressure of having to write more songs even when I'm not in the mood for it. People wants to get the next album out faster and faster, while they also wants to meet and talk with their idol, and no one seems to realize how many hours of practice is needed before the songs can be recorded and before the next tour can start. The bigger the audience, the less I've come to like my job. It's hard to get time for the fans, keep a private life and get out new content.

It's just stressful now a days, and my family aren't much help when they just keep pushing me forward. Sometimes I wish I hadn't been in the entertainment industry and just could write songs on the side instead. No expectations, no demands. Just me doing what I like as a hobby instead of being forced to do it as a job. Maybe I complain too much. I have it better than most.

She didn't lie about being lame compared to Mirage. She were just talking about the difference between the Mirage that was now and the Mirage that once were. Her latest album were awful compared to her oldest, no matter what he fans said. If she were Mai or Mirage the verdict stayed the same. This new Mirage was lame compared to the old.

A slight knot tied in her stomach as she prepared to push the reply button. What if they figured it out? What if she had left too many clues? Don't be stupid, she thought. There were hundreds of artists in her situation, and they were in every country on earth. And no one knew of Mirage, so whatever happened outside of the stage was a mystery. Post.

Considering it was an anonymous forum, no one would expect her to come out and say who she was. That was the best part of a complaining site.
 
Kira was in the middle of her shift, but business was slow and she was growing sleepier by the second.

Taking out her phone surreptitiously, she took a moment to check out laserbeam.

TheShadowOfMe had replied to Miranda's post as well. She laughed a little at her lack of observational skills when she read that Miranda was actually pandalover. She hadn't noticed the username at the head of the post.

JustAnotherMirage: @pandalover lol I didn't even notice that >.< don't worry, we'll keep your secrets safe ;) and good luck with your parents!

She considered pandalover's question. There was a tiny pang at the mention of "her family" but decided that after reading all about another person's life, it was only right that she share her own.

JustAnotherMirage: I work the night shift at a convenience store. It's not my dream job, but it pays the bills >.< And actually... I don't have a family. I've never met my parents... But I'm ok :) And thanks for being my virtual friend, it's more than I have in real life XD

After replying to pandalover, Kira noticed another post. This time it was from TheShadowOfMe.

So she was a singer... and although she called herself "lame", Kira doubted that she was. She seemed pretty famous, judging from how busy she seemed...

Still, reading about her problems made Kira realize there was a flip side to everything. If she was feeling invisible, this girl was entirely too visible. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to have so little time for herself.

It made sense now, how TheShadowOfMe had said that Mirage might be stressed, although she never seemed so to Kira. That person had an inside look to what Mirage's life might be like, being a singer herself.

Kira felt her admiration for Mirage grow... but she realized she also admired TheShadowOfMe.

JustAnotherMirage: Wow! It's amazing that you're a singer! I've always thought artists like you had an enviable life, doing what you love for a living, but I guess even living your dream would get tiring if it was as pressured as you say it is.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad being so demanding, but you're his daughter, I'm sure he'd love you even if you weren't a singer. Maybe if you just compromise and ask for a vacation, he would agree?

P.S. Tho Mirage is my No. 1, I'm pretty sure you can't possibly be lame :)

Kira wished she could ask what her stagename was, so she could listen to her music... But that wouldn't be polite.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom
Back