Eye of the Tiger

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Fijoli

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Sometimes, when in the darkest hours of life, we wander back to a time of innocence. It is there, we attempt to see the world through the eyes of a child in our later years, and the benefits can come around to just about grand or Impossible. Reality is moldable, inconsistent, and above all, anything is possible. Reasoning is void in a child's mind, for what I like to believe, they hold the future in their hopes, aspirations, and dreams. Needless to say the duality of their imagination can tip the scale of good and evil both ways, I don't know how it was for any of you, but when I was a child, my nightmares frightened me far more than they do in my older age. With such a steadfast belief did I believe in what happened when I slept.
Dreams and nightmares can create hopes and fears, love and hate, even happiness and sadness. Nothing is impossible and it strikes me as ironic that , if even just in our sleep, dreams give us absolute control of the subconsious, while nightmares Paralyze us with fear. Terror can fill us, yet all we need is for the imagination to give us a little push into convincing ourselves of the power we hold in our sleep. Thus we think, therefore, we are.
Everything, we create in our own minds, and I have been thinking lately; What exactly happens to us between our younger years and now? Is it because we have been promised something so grand, that we ourselves, pale in comparison? Do we believe less of what we are told as children when we become older because of being made to believe that what we are is insignificant and small?....I don't know the answers, and I don't know why we, as human beings, sell ourselves so short of the wonderful, magnificent creatures of thought that we have come to be, and have always been.

It is my strongest belief that a child lives within every single one of us, and the more we internalize our own suffering, the more we bury this child deeper and deeper within us, however, they never disappear completely. Something of them remains within us even beyond our death, for none, like a child, dare to dream with such a fierceness, that even the remnants of what it once was leaves their mark burned into the very thing we consider to be our souls.
This is a story about two children, lost, in a world that they dare walk side by side through Tranquil dreams and the most grotesque nightmares. Where the struggle of giving and accepting the help from one another would save them from themselves and their very crippling fears. Traversing within eachother's very hopes and fears, all the deepest desires and abysmal sadness. The world they called Evigilantes Somniatis ((Latin for 'waking dream')) was a place that defied all logic and reasoning, noting was what it seemed, what was safe hid danger and what appeared dangerous was the saving grace if those with the imagination could fearlessly overcome the perspective. To survive here, one must possess the eye of the tiger, remain vigilant under any circumstance, and love with the entirety of their heart, all things, with an absolute unconditional compassion.

In the beginning of this epic and nostalgic tale, Spero ((Latin for Hope)), a young girl, no older then 6, stood at the edge of a massive mountain looking down into the lands of Evigilantes, she wondered obsessively how she had come to this place. The feeling that she only merely appeared into the thin air consumed her. Pinching her arm to feel the bones, poked at her ribs, and covered her eyes, encumbered from the height. Stepping away from the ledge her lightly colored eyes opened to, again, soak in the sight of where she was. Long dark brown strand of hair unfurled past her shoulder and passed her waist to her knee. Looking down to her toes and bare feet that just peeked out from beneath the long white night gown, she attempted to make sense of the impossibilities that hurled her into a state of absolution.

Suddenly, she heard the voice of a boy calling out,"Hey!"

Spero's little frame spun around, and her chin went up as her gaze looked for the voice, she called out to it,"Hello?! who's there?!"

 
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Securus (Meaning: secure, untroubled, safe, in latin) hit the ground running, one worn converse sneaker after the other. His cuffed up levi 501s clung tight to his legs and gave way to a plain white tee. He was an average sized youth, with curious eyes that often looked too old for such a youthful face.

"What am I running from?" Secu thought aloud. There was a constant churning of anxiety building in his stomach, deep down beneath his soul.

A boy of 6 stands face to face with then unknown. Where is he? What is this place? It feels like a dream, but at the same time not. It feels like a bitter sweet memory, or a look inside his own mind. All these heavy thoughts made Securus' head spin. He knew that he had been somewhere else when he woke up this morning, but couldn't remember where -or when- that was. The only two things he knew for sure was that his name was now Securus and that he was far, far away from the reality he once knew.

As soon as his brain caught up with his feet, Secu stopped, a cloud of dust billowing up around him. His chest rose and fell in a light, steady rhythm as he approached an enormous cliff. All around was a faded, matte back drop of scenery that looked almost real, but not quite. Against the skyline, where the cliff dropped off , Secu spotted someone standing. A light frame and female form.

"Hey!" Securus; voice sang out and echoed into the valley. He walked closer, cautiously taking in her expressions as he always did when meeting someone new. It would later be his way of reading people to almost 100% accuracy, a skill that would help and hinder him later in life.

He approached her, standing about 4 feet away, a look of concern and question on his face.

"Hi. I'm Secu" He extended a hand to her, a gesture that really made no sense in this place. He looked down at his feet, drawing a half circle in the dirt with the tip of his converse. "I think I'm lost, do you know how to get back?"


Secu thought for a moment then realized he didn't know where 'back' was.
 
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"Hi. I'm Secu"

Looking at his hand for a moment before she wearily extended hers in return, She wore a look of fear in her bright eyes as he spoke.

"I think I'm lost, do you know how to get back?"
This made her eyes swell with tears, she abruptly threw her little arms around Secu for safety. Tangibly he was real, as real as she was, and literally clung to the that fact. Spero began to shake thinking of how to answer such a question. Where have they come to be was the more pressing question on her mind, but words failed her as she parted her lips only to close them again. she could only bury her face into the nook of his clavicle and attempt to think clearer. He was familiar to her, in his attire, he certainly came from where she had, or she so surely convinced herself of this. Breathing slow and deep, Spero focused now on her feet on the cold Rock, She hadn't been outside in a long time. Her bedroom was a safe haven that she didn't dare to leave. Welling emotions consumed her while she clinched her toes together. Strands of Deep earthly brown hair waved and wrapped around the two children. Spero pushed out the words, courage eased her to speak.

"I'm...sorry, I don't Know where I am, or where this is, but please,...Don't leave me up here,...Please?," She begged.

Spero's fear of heights was apparent to Securus, her trembling only worsened by every passing moment. Suddenly The air filled with fluffy white feathers floating everywhere, Spero open her palm to examine a weightless fluff hovering to land on her upturned hand. A large white bird flapped its wings to rise from below the rock, gusts of every flapping wing sent feathers up in the air to slowly rain down around them. This bird was magnificent in size, landing two large claws to the rock of the cliff side. It reared its long neck, shook, ruffling its feathers to become all puffed up. Gracefully the large creature brought its face down the the children and to their surprise, began to speak to them, without moving its mouth.

"This is Evigilantes Somniatis, Securus, Spero, You can not go home until you restore the balance of my world."
The voice was angelic in nature and soothed Spero's hastily beating heart. She thought back, narrowing her eyes at the creature for a moment before opening them wide with realization. Spero reached out her had caustiously only to be gently nudged by the bird. She couldn't believe any of this but in spite of her doubt she smiled and ruffled the soft white feathers.
"Back home on the wall, there is a mural my mother painted, in my bedroom, with many animals and strange creatures, flying the highest above all the others animals is a white pheonix, my mother named.....Forfax?"she said in disbelief.

"Indeed that is my name...And so you begin to understand, now quickly, get on my back Something knows you both are here, and it is coming for you"
 
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"Indeed that is my name...And so you begin to understand, now quickly, get on my back Something knows you both are here, and it is coming for you"

In that instant a thick green fog began to spread from the edge of the valley below. It consumed the once lustrous scenery and stained the rest with a dull, faded pigment. Secu thought it looked almost like when you turned the color knob -almost- all the way off on an old analog tv set, just before it spiked to black and white. Washed out would be another term Secu would later associate with what he saw.

Before helping Spero on the back of the flying beast, Secu stooped down and plucked a perfect four leaf clover from the ground. He knew, absolutely knew, it would bring him good luck. If not good fortune outright, then something veiled in a silk-nightmare wrapper. If the mind believes it, then it is (I think therefor I am).

As wind slapped across the back of the bird, jostling neither rider nor feather, Secu chanced a look blow them and found that the Fadding-fog was now in the distance, like way in the distance. This bird was fast! Thought Secu. Faster than the zipper or the kamikaze rides at the county fair, and those things hauled ass! If everything wasn't happening fast enough, below them the scene unfolded like a canvas being brushed with paint as they flew. Wavy Hills, Green pin-pricked tress, rushing rivers, all appearing before their very eyes. Secu tried to look ahead of what was appearing, looking ahead though, he found, was not at all possible. It would seem, at least for the two children aboard the dreamline express, there was only the here and now. Secu was, as always, more excited than he was scared as the bird dove, nose first, straight towards the earth. Secu had always let excitement in any given situation out weight fear, a natural born adrenaline junkie.

The ginormous bird made a swooping lurch just before hitting the ground, landing them safely on the earth.

"It all begins here. Everything." It said, Secu tried to ask a question, but before the words could formulate in his voice box, the bird was gone. Secu, without looking, took Spero's little hand in his and inspected his surroundings. It was very different here than where they had started off. The road was paved with highway asphalt, and sidewalks lined wither side of the street. There was a picket fence that stretched out in either direction and an old red bard sitting on a near by hill. Emerald grass filled in the blanks between fence and street, while a giant oak, it branching yawning out 20 feet over head, provided light shade in the beating sun. Secu got a slight chill when he thought about the fog he had seen, but after walking a short distance found a nice patch of sunlight. There was a single, green bordered road sign that read. MeMor-E Lane. It was the only sign, on the only street, on the only road. It was the way they had to go.


"I guess we should follow the road." Secu sighed, absentmindedly biting a jagged nail on his left thumb "It's the only way."


In the darkness, in a place even nocturnal beasts can't see, there was a Rag doll. It's crimson button eyes placed noticeably too close together seemed to be alive with malice. Stuffing leaked in several spots and it's arms were loose and bulging, rung out after years of abuse. It wasn't alive, nor was it dead. Far from the inanimate object it was designed to be, it's actions were dictated by anger, it's anger dictated by fear, it's fear an every present reminder of the days before. It lived in the faded past that Secu had seen, there it fed on guilt and remorse until it was strong enough to lurch out into the now, and now it was.
 
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Not wanting to let go of the familiar, she reached down like a vine growing towards the sun as Securus bent down to collect his clover. Spero wrapped her arms around him as Forfax took off into the air, showing them high above the world around them. Screaming out with fear as the bird swooped, only tightening her grip around the boy.

Her legs shook from the shock of regrounded feet to the asphalt. She began to feel empowered by the survival of this current trauma and cracked a small smile.

"I guess we should follow the road. It's the only way."


She clasped his hand while her eyes took in the sights around her, tiny fingers interlocked loosely with Securus'.

"My name is Spero"


From behind this Ragged doll, came the dirt covered feet of a small girl, stopping to gently pluck up the rag doll from the ground. she looked into its eyes having emerged from the darkness herself, Long poker straight dark brown hair pinned down a torn and filthy night gown. she cradled the doll in her arm and placed a kiss upon its forehead, smiling with a evil curve in her childish lips.
"Patience,Not too long now" she said.

"Tell me where you'd like to go, Love"

The girl whispered to her only friend, as she began to walk down the path, they would soon become addicted to the love of hating each other, feeding on another's emptiness, and expanding the voids within them to the mighty size of the Universe itself.

 
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"Spero." Secu said aloud before mouthing it twice. Spero, the name sounded so familiar to him. Like a story told and retold, or a song played on the 'daily drive' top twenty countdown. Everything here seemed familiar when he thought about it. Even this road looked like somewhere he'd been before. Securus tightened his grip on Speros hand, had he not noticed that she was holding his hand? Like everything else it felt natural and ….familiar.

Although this place was drenched in a Dejavue like feel, Secu couldn't help but sense they did not belong. Born too late, or too early to truly fit in this place.The two walked side by side like paper cutouts against a painted backdrop, like visitors, or intruders, in someone's memory. There was some distortion on the horizon. It waved and fluttered with the wind which had picked up mildly. Up ahead there was a sign that said 'School crossing ahead', and in the cross walk with a red sign was a crossing guard with matching red, curly hair. She looked at them both walking, her eyes wide. She pointed sharply at her wrist, where there was no watch, but the universal sign indicated that they were late. The two walked over to the cross walk and crossed. Up ahead there was a school, but no other children.

"Spero, is this your school?" He nodded with a tilt of his head towards an old white a-frame building.
 
"No," She shook her head and looked up at the guard as they approached. "But I think she wants us to go in"

Hand in hand they walked up to the school and opened the doors into the halls. Scanning the hallways of doors Spero peered into the classrooms as they passed and in every desk sat a child in a suit and no face. This made her feel uneasy and then as she passed another classroom the faceless children were looking at them in the halls and this continued as they walked through the school.
 
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The Faceless kids reminded Secu of mannequin Little molded minds with matching faces, all nothing and all the same. Finally they came to the end of the hall and there was a door with a 24 painted outside the door. On the vertical glass paneling of the door was a sheet of paper that said two names.

Securus: 1A

Spero: 2 A

"I guess this is us then" Secu opened the door with his free hand and walked in. In front of the class was a man, the teacher, with arms too long for his body, the tips of his fingers touched the ground. His neck, which was also over stretched and over sized, was wrapped in a red flannel scarf.

"A bout time, I was going to call both your parents! Do you have any idea what today is?" Secu shook his head.

"Oral reports. Front and center! A five minute presentation on your deepest fear!"
 
She moved quickly to her chair eyes a little wide at the strange sight of the man but With Secu with her, she examined his easieness. The calm attitude of him pacified and fear from stopping her. She sat and let Secu have the floor, folding her hand neatly on the deck after brushing off her gown. For a moment Spero thought it odd that she was in her nightgown and no one seemed to notice, she was most comfortable in her night gowns and always wished to wear them day in and out. She watched Securus intensely with bright eyes ready for his presentation.
 
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Secu walked to the front of the class, never taking his eyes off the mis-shapen teacher, who smiled wide displaying a set of green and rotten teeth. He smelled like garlic and fish that had been sitting out in the sun for a week. Secu cringed inwardly before speaking, looking to Spero's eyes for strength.

"My deepest fear." He cleared his throat. "My deepest fear is..."

At that moment a shadow began to grow outside across the lawn and play yard that surrounded the schools main building. Dark clouds mounted over head as two little feet steeped almost mechanically across the cement. A small girl holding a rag doll. The dolls head spun counter clockwise as it's red button eyes bulged menacingly. As it writhed in her arms it spoke.


Dark and twisting
Fire and pain
Green and red and back again
Into the void we walk, my friend
You and I we are akin.


You cannot hide
You will not rest
Inside your lungs a poison breath
A jagged heart with hooks sunk in
Clawing at your soul and skin


Living with us side by side
The love you had has gone and died
We'll break your bones and burn your skin
Forever we will live within.
 
Dirty little feet carried the poetic doll as they leaked dark shadow behind them, crossing nothings path. Simple and put the girls ears heard his words and she decided to sing him a song, her voice was resonant and held a childish wickedness full of despair and anguish.


As the evil voice of the young siren reverberated through the dreamscape the black top cracked rifts along as they moved onward.

Spero sat patiently at her desk as Securus paused, his hesitation to answer made her blink a few times and then...he confessed.
 
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A sweat had broken out on the back Secu's neck. He felt a tightness in his chest and a sudden and absolute feeling of remorse laced pain hit his system. He suddenly felt a sadness that outweighed anything he had felt before. It was black, total black or complete lack of anything but. His head felt heavy as the light from outside was blocked by a dark cloud over head.

"My biggest fear is dying alone, but isn't gonna happen cause..." A light tremble was playing at the edge of his voice. At that moment the teacher erupted into a hideous shrieking laughter. It penetrated through the walls and sent reverberations into the hall way.

"You little shit. You'll be alone forever, no one wants you." More laughing as tiny sparkles of tear welled up in Secu's eyes.


"No...." Said Secu, this time there was no waver in his voice "I am not alone, not now, because I have Spero!" He looked the teacher dead in the eye before taking his seat next to Spero. There no more laughing, just a churning sound from outside as two little footsteps echoed in the courtyard.
 
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Spero Smiled, her eyes beamed at Securus, her new friend. Even her fear of height scared her but she they landed, they landed together. She watched him sit in the desk beside her and hesitated to stand herself.Forcing herself up, She had to be brave, Just like Secu. She walked to the front of the classroom and turned to keep her gaze on Securus.

"I..." She stopped to look at the strange teacher"...My Fear is...."She struggled to think of what scared her most....heights, Being hurt, hurting those she loved, being lost, never returning home, whether Secu would be there after she woke up from this dream or not. The fears just whirled and whirled in her head as she stared at Securus until she spoke with a sudden whisper.,"....My fear is...fear itself"

Suddenly the classroom began to melt around them as her realization shattered the illusions around them, The laughter of the teacher resounded Through their mixed realities and sent the children into and spinning vortex, objects around the classroom began to float up and away, while the tiles of the floor broke away and fell into darkness, until suddenly there they were clinging to eachother in nothingness.

Spero whispered softly, her voice shaking,"Where are we?"
 
"Where are we?"

Secu was about to answer when the nothingness around them began to take shape. It whipped and whirled in a kaleidoscope of gray, blues and black. A tornado of opaque pitch darkness appeared and began to suck everything into it's self before exploding into a back drop of cloudy sky. The two children continued to fall, however it was as if gravity no longer applied. Secu was able to turn himself around and face Spero in mid air, the ground below them rising at a non threatening speed.

"I don't know, but it feels like a dream, and I want to wake up." Said Secu, blowing light plumes of steam from his mouth in bite sized puffs as he spoke. It was cold out, and the chill in the air was a definite precursor to snow. As the first flake fell, Secu was able to catch it before they landed lightly in a field. He held the snow encased in both hands, before turning to give it to Spero.

"For you." He smiled. The snow flake crystallized and became as hard as solid steel. It seemed that the two children had out lasted the storm, which now playfully dropped snow on the ground. They stood now in a field, a lightly stone-paved road boarding several small farm houses and homes. It was a pleasant place, and after facing his deepest fears in the class room, Secu felt as if a splinter had been pulled from a tender spot. "We'll be stronger as long as we stay together." Secu thought he saw something move in a thicket of trees not far from where they stood, but dared not a second look into the shadow.

Two small feet followed them in the shadow as they walked down the stone path. The cloth doll's rag face smiled at it's female companion, gaining energy from her cold heart.
 
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Spero latched tighter on to the boy as he faced her, falling freely with Securus into the snow. Though she saw their cold breath, the cold didn't effect her. Warmth as she took the snow handed to her with a grateful smile and bit into it, letting the snow melt to water in her mouth to drink. She wasn't sure if she would ever get used to the strangeness of Evigilantes. It seemed every dream contained a nightmare and together repeatedly melted into another. Spero wondered more about the 'balance' of this world, that perhaps they may have never been a balance at all in either world for as long as they have been connected. As she walked along side Securus and opened to him, her thoughts and logic.

"Securus?...I think...The nightmares and fears aren't part of this world. I...."Spero looked at her companion, her eyes growing wide at the revelations in herself, "I think we broke the balance of Evigilantes. The Nightmares are our own..."

She watched his response and eagerly sought his opinions.
 
The icy air clung to Securus and enveloped him as he tried his best not to shiver. He had to be strong, he had to be as strong for Spero as she was for him. Weather or not she realized it she gave him strength. This is something he realized during the conformation in the classroom. Secu was able to endure his deepest fears because of Spero and in a way, in his 8 year old brain, he loved her for it. He held her hand tighter, his shoulder brushing against hers as they walked.

"Securus?...I think...The nightmares and fears aren't part of this world. I...."Spero looked at her companion, her eyes growing wide at the revelations in herself, "I think we broke the balance of Evigilantes. The Nightmares are our own..."

Secu was thinking what Spero said. He had a bad feeling about everything that had happened, and feared they would be trapped here for a long time.

"If the nightmares are our own.' Secu paused looking at the sky as it bled grey to purple to red on the horizon with the setting sun."Maybe we can control them and have good dreams instead of nightmares?"
 
Nothing held her more securely than the hand of Securus, giving her a sense of security and clarity. She did not shiver, She did not feel cold still, and soon began to wonder why. While they moved along the path Securus spoke of control and owning the nightmares. The small girl couldn't help but let her mind spin with thoughts of many good and happy dreams she had ever had.

The snow at Spero's feet began to melt with every step of her heels, she began to give off this warmth that melted the cold air as steam began to rise from her little form. She looked around her feet and behind her,"....strange" she said, pointing behind her. Flowers began to grow around them crawling up Securus' converse, to bloom a blue petaled flower.
 
As the snow melted all around, winter turning to spring right before their very eyes, something dark crept towards them. Secu glanced at the unequally colored flower as it wrapped around his converse and began climbing up his leg. He laughed, and for the first time since he could remember, was happy.

"Spero! Look!" Eyes wide, pointing across a near by field. There were three sprouts proturding from a bluff that quickly grew into trees, cracking the earth below them with roots. It was the most amazing thing Secu had ever seen. He turned to Spero, still holding her hand and taking her other one in his own.

"You did this?"
 
She watched as Secu exclaimed the displays of her dreams. The wilderness emerged from the cold and the sun burst through the disapateing clouds. Spero shrugged modestly, blushing a little, her cheek turning a bright crimson. thinking to herself how to control this, something that would prove to, under the stress of fear would elude her.
 
Before Secu could make a response a tree shot up beneath them. It burst through the earth with such speed and force that they were lifted high into the sky as branch and leaf wrapped them safely up. Secu was scared at first, but his hand remained firmly clenched on Speros and they sat side by side on the same branch, now 70 feet above ground. The wind was blowing gently through the leaves as the world below them began to wither and die. Fern and grass turned grey and dark clouds swelled over head.

Standing at the base of the tree was the little girl with the doll. The dolls head lolled hideously to the side as if it's neck was broken. It grinned at it's young care taker.

"Should we greet our friends?"
 
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