Exile vs. The Exiled (How to Ban Players Politely)

[IceChateau777]

((This is my first time making a guide based on past experiences with other role players.))

EXILE
vs
THE EXILED​

Whenever you are a G.M. (Game Master), you are responsible for the thread's downfalls, but as one said, "Violence is not the answer." Well, in order to keep a cool audience, you'll have to act cool about it. However, what if there's a person in the role play that you just can't stand? Here's what to do:

1. Openly tell the party of role-players to "cut it out" and refer to your rules if necessary.
2. If it is just "this one person" destroying the flow of the game, politely call them out via PM or even VM if it's just a minor problem.
3. Let the co-GM know about the rule-breaker so they can watch for subsequent misbehavior. They can work with you to decipher the clues. If what the person is doing is deemed highly offensive (as aforementioned by your participants), it never hurts to contact a moderator or a staff member.
4. Use the "Report" function or contact an Administrator. The big dogs of the forum can scare the members, just so said member(s) will refrain from doing whatever they were told not to do.

But there may be times in where you have little or no control over the defiant. Also, you have determined the troublemaker; in layman's terms, "somebody's gotta go." If you are at a point in where you have to struggle physically, emotionally and/or mentally, PLEASE take a breather from the computer (IF you have no outstanding assignments from school, work, etc.)
When you wish to reprimand a certain person about certain rule violations,

• Focus on the positive and write using positive words.
• Don't use the word "you" (or at least as a habit) as it can sound like an attack.
• Show you care.
• Soften bad news by leading up to it
• When pointing out the problems, also provide quotes from the OOC/IC threads that can lead to the solution.
• ALWAYS FIND THE EVIDENCE!! If you do not link back to evidence that may cause a ban from a game, the player might get scared. Additionally, you should make them feel welcome to talk to you outside the game. Also, if you do not provide evidence that may violate (or contradict) certain guidelines, you may intimidate others. Banishment should be used as the LAST resort to resolve the problem.
• Don't demand, rather start sentences with "I want" or "I would like". If you want them to do something to avoid banishment (such as an ultimatum or a final warning), leave the EXIT door open.
• When the person apologizes, it is okay to forgive them. Also, if the person wishes to be rude, it is best to contact a staff member and discuss the problem.
• Give the person a time to vent. Also, if they request NOT to have their name shared, don't share the news with anyone else BUT the co-GM (and maybe the moderator you talked to.) That way, if you wish to ban the person for good they can enforce bars to entry.

Be specific in your case!​

Being blunt will have the person in a nasty coil of questions. If you're blunt about it (e.g. "Get out of here." "LEAVE." "I'm reporting you." "I don't like you." "You're banned.") I bet that 75% of the time you talk, the player will be enraged. Carelessness of your boundaries may end in YOUR banishment. The worst thing an Admin can tell you about a ban would be "...." or absolutely nothing. Therefore, it is important to stay in NEUTRAL terms if not "GOOD" terms.
​

Refrain from sounding condescending (or like a know-it-all)

As one stated, "Your actions say more than your words." In layman's terms, words can be weapons. If one says the wrong term, this may cause others to step down. This means that you should refrain using "basically", "obvious", "already", "honestly", "really", or "actually". We're humans; we forget, we scream, we sneeze and make mistakes. Instead, re-teach them; one step at a time.​

Grow Up, Mate!

I find that many people would not use, "I'm sorry" or "I know you feel..." and would just tattle straight away. As a Game Master, it is imperative to be aware of any psychological disorders (yes, really~!) to better help them in the future. Sometimes, there are players who get carried away by their euphemism, THUS they get kicked out. But if a game master does not give them a reason (or even a legitimate one), the Game Master may be too immature to handle removing someone from the game.
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Be Careful How you Sound, and Who You Like~

A game master should not sound standoffish, nor should they sound so degrading that the players fear their presence. As a GM, you shouldn't sound like a bitch, nor should you sound like a baby. I am aware of some game masters who plain don't like certain members. If they sound like that at all, they're most certainly unfit to be a game master. Also, what the player might say may be offensive to the GM. Personal "Vendettas" certainly don't help, either. Like your roleplay posts, re-read through your banishment notice to a player. If it sounds too harsh or too intricate to you, simplify the message. Avoid purple prose when composing the message; you're not writing a book. Imagine that you are assigning detention to a student.
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Let's All Sit and Talk~

A game master should be able to compensate for another's troubles, whether it is real life issues or anything of that matter. I had to deal with a player who had anger issues, and often lashed out at the tiniest details. I talked to the person, and I found out that it was a psychological issue hindering him from saying the right things. This means that if they have to remove themselves because of it, that would better than getting banned.​