(Chapter 8: Rhea and Astra reminise)
When it was time for Rhea to take action she rose to her feet and extended a hand to Astra, who tried to accept it with her shackled hands, dragged up to her feet. Blood slowly trickled down Astra's battered face and mistrust remained imprinted on her features, single eye watching Rhea as if she were still an illusion. It hurt. What trust they had had taken a beating as severe as the one Astra received and was fractured. The shackled wrists were taken roughly by Rhea who began to lead Astra forwards, heading up the stairs solemnly.
Further down the hall they found Beryl leaning up against a wall in waiting. Upon seeing the duo she straightened up and made a clucking sound. "You really fucked up, Rhea,"she chuckled lowly in a dangerous way. A dark glare from Rhea forced the feisty red head to take her pride down a peg, toothy grin fading. "Want me to take the bitch to her cell?"she offered.
"No. I have a new spot for her,"Rhea said tersely as she walked right past Beryl with Astra still held tightly. The taller angel was forced to shuffle along, stumbling, disoriented after her world had been turned on its ugly head.
"Your bed?"Beryl offered with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle as she followed after Rhea, who was trudging with a clear sense of icy determination.
Rhea halted. Beryl continued, oblivious to the fact that she had struck a nerve. "I know you've had a pretty lonely year. It's a pretty great time to fu-"she began before Rhea swiveled around with lightening speed and enclosed a hand around the goaler's pale throat. While Rhea had to look up to gaze intensely into Beryl's eyes, she was still terrifying, fingers coiled around the woman's trachea to block the airflow. Instinctively Beryl's hands grabbed onto Rhea's, eyes widening, sputtering for breath.
"Shut...the...fuck...up,"Rhea commanded lowly with clear enunciation. With that warning said, she roughly released her grip and turned away, leading Astra away like a dog. Beryl was left to gasp and rub her throat, watching Rhea retreat, bewildered.
The two continued down the long series of hallways with haste. Eventually they reached a heavy wooden doorway that Rhea opened, expecting Astra to follow along, which she did. Now they were left to wind up a series of stairs until they reached the top room. Rhea's room. The door was flung open and both marched in, the door slammed. Astra realized this and perked up, scanning the area. It most definitely belonged to Rhea. The shelves full of books, the skeletal decorations, plenty of plant samples, and of course the set of black plate armor, hanging lifelessly on its stand. Wordlessly Rhea half guided, half dragged Astra to her spacious bed and yanked her to the wooden floors. Astra didn't resist, eye still glassy. Astra's shackles were fastened to one of the bed posts so she could sit on the floor, trapped for now with her arms pinned above her head. Exhausted, Astra just let her head hang low.
Such a pathetic sight left Rhea to bite her lip to avoid showing her pain. What the hell was she to do now? The only thing she knew to do. Carefully she approached a shelf where multiple vials of odd liquids were corked, various colors, both natural like hues of green, and unnatural like vibrant purples. One clear liquid was picked up between two fingers and the contents were gently swirled. Then Rhea walked over again and crouched next to Astra, holding the vial out after uncorking it with a fang. "Drink...it will allow you to sleep,"she ordered softly.
Rhea didn't realize until now that Astra was shaking. Was that fear she saw? "Are you real?"came a quaking voice as Astra lifted her head.
Almost awkwardly, now unfamiliar, Rhea reached a hand out and brushed a strand of hair out of Astra's face, maintaining a cool expression after her earlier outburst. "Yes, I'm very real. Now please...drink."
Slowly Astra's eye closed and she tilted her head back to allow Rhea to pour the vial's contents into her throat. It felt warm. Unlike the snake venom previously injected to make her comatose, this was different, the change more gradual with the beginning being the relaxing of the muscles. "I take this all the time to get some rest. You'll be out soon enough,"Rhea said, standing again and putting the vial away. Unable to face the reality of her deeds, Rhea exited the room. The thud of the door closing elicited a shudder in the captive angel.
Hours later Astra came to after a long slumber, eye fluttering open, head snapping upwards. Her breathing picked up and she looked around, pulling vainly at her shackled wrists, seemingly unaware of her surroundings. "Calm down,"came Rhea's voice from the spot near the opened windows across the room. She was lounging on the window ledge with the windows thrown open. A cool breeze slithered in and washed over the room. Outside the sun had set already, meaning Astra had slept the entire day away. Pale moonlight illuminated Rhea's skin and gave her a ghostly visage. A glow caught her eyes as she surveyed the darkened courtyard and forest below her. A light breeze disrupted her pristine looking dyed hair and in the moment, Astra was captivated by the corrupted angel. Then she remembered the previous events, the illusion that had made her believe the person she cared about most in life saw her as dirt. Was it so different than reality? Troubled, a heavy sigh escaped Astra as she hung her head again.
Suddenly, Rhea spoke while gazing out at the night. "Astra...do you remember the first time me ever met?"
At first the question was left in the air. Silence was a language of its own. Stubbornly Astra refused to give an answer.
"I was a handful, wasn't I? I recall challenging you you to a brawl on the first day. Do you remember?"Rhea proposed, looking over her shoulder and drawing her legs up to her chest where she sat.
Rhea remembered it well. It was her first day of training, the first time she met her squadron leader, Astra. All of the new soldiers had lined up, joining the ranks of the veterans, shoulder to shoulder. Whispers had spread down the line. Rumors passed from ear to ear. All sorts of warnings and praises of the squadron leader. Some claimed she was the most promising leader, others claiming she had once challenged the general to a duel and won, some even going so far as to boast they had seen her fight a wild boar barehanded. Acutely Rhea remembered scoffing at such accomplishments, both real and obviously fantasy. Jealousy ran deep. She had to prove herself.
So then Astra had strode in, walking as if she owned the place, tall and elegant even with the body of an athlete. The perfect warrior model. Murmurs hushed upon her entrance. "Greetings. My name is Astra Crowden, squadron leader. I see some new faces in the crowd so today we will learn the basics."
Astra's eyes followed the line to a peculiar girl, short in stature, lean muscled, eyes gleaming with ambition. Wings a pure white, deep, near black, poker straight brown hair framing her pale face. Noticeably, her hand was raised, demanding attention. "Yes?"Astra questioned.
"Why must we start at the basics? Shouldn't we already be battle ready if we passed the initial evaluation?"Rhea challenged smoothly.
Astra's eyes narrowed. "Do you feel like you're actually battle ready, soldier?"she asked, head tilting to the side in a questioning manner, stepping forwards.
"Yes I do."
"Alright then...Why don't you spar with me then? Hand to hand, right now." It was a proposal Rhea couldn't refuse. Murmuring erupted again, silenced by frantic hushing.
"Sounds fair to me,"Rhea answered hotly as she sidled forwards. All eyes followed her to where she squared up with Astra. At this point Rhea came to realize just how tall Astra was up close, towering over her. Muscles appeared to be chiseled neatly, exposed by a sleeveless shirt. Both sank into a fighting stance. "Ready?"Astra asked.
"Born ready,"Rhea replied arrogantly. Before she could even formulate her first attack, Astra's foot swiped out and caught her ankle, setting her off balance. A single harsh push sent Rhea into the dirt on her hands and knees. The heel of a boot shoved in between her shoulder blades and slammed her cheek into the ground. Laughter filled the training yard. Astra kept her boot pressed on Rhea's back to keep her down. "Take this as a lesson, soldiers. Never overestimate your abilities. There is still much to learn,"Astra addressed the group. Rhea's cheeks were hot with embarrassment and spite coiled in her gut.
Now, in the present moment, Astra lifted her head. "I remember kicking your sorry ass."
Rhea managed a faint laugh. "That you did…."
More quiet time. Outside the nocturnal animals came to life. Distantly birds called to the stars. Wolves sang to the moon. Wind stirred the trees and branches shifted as if they were alive.
"Do you remember the time you admitted you loved me?"Astra offered.
"How could I not?" Rhea became engulfed in their memories, recalling the day in question and the details. From the corner of the training yard Rhea had sat and watched another young woman.
Seated on a wooden bench, her legs were crossed neatly, a hand resting under her chin to support her head while her elbow rested on one knee. She appeared to be folded over, gaze fixated on the captain of her squadron, Astra Crowden. For weeks they had begun to transition from bitter rivals into something more pleasant. No longer did Astra have to frequently reprimand the ambitious Rhea for refusing to obey simple instructions with the excuse of knowing a superior method. Butting heads was less common, the clash melting away, replaced by a sense of understanding that grew gradually. Over the time Rhea had spent training in the Angelic Army she had begun to become more cooperative, finding this increased the chance of success and also made making friends much easier. Rhea had learned an important lesson. There was no 'I' in team.
As Astra whirled about the circular patch of packed dirt, one of the many training yards, thoughts were fluttering about in Rhea's head. Initially Rhea yearned to befriend Astra, but time changed this idea too. Her goal was to become more than friends. It was of her every intention to court the woman, and she hoped the same idea was in Astra's head. Astra couldn't possibly deny their increase in conversation time, now more than a few sharp remarks exchanged in training. Next had come a few phrases shared at meal times, and then that turned into lengthy conversations that even left the dining hall. Not to be overlooked were the glances they shared; it was very true that eyes were the window to the soul, showing unfiltered emotions. Rhea could lose herself in Astra's eyes, green and teeming with life. The fire that constantly flickered within.
Rhea could see the same passion, laced with concentration, as the well muscled woman now pivoted sharply and sent the blade of her spear into a stuffed practice dummy. The dummy's burlap skin burst open to reveal a mess of fluffy cotton. Then the gleaming blade was pulled away, Astra now relaxing her muscles, which were shiny with a sheen of sweat. Taking a free hand she pulled a small rag from the pocket of her pants and dabbed at her forehead. Sides heaved with effort, breath coming out in short puffs. Soft looking grey feathered wings were half extended and shaken out with what appeared to be a sigh from where Rhea watched about ten meters away. Astra seemed to take more notice of her silent observer now, sidling over with a spear held loosely in hand. When Astra was close enough she raised an eyebrow and jokingly asked, "Are you taking notes here?"
"Well of course. I have to learn what not to do, right?"Rhea joked right back with the glimmer of a smile, rising to her feet. The taller woman towered over her, but unlike the other squadron members she wasn't intimidated. Of course not much intimidated Rhea with her baffling sense of boldness. However, many were more intimidated by Astra's status more than her size, something that also didn't trouble Rhea. She was on good terms with the other woman. Not many others could jest with Astra as much as Rhea did, especially when it came to mocking the other's abilities. Proving the comfort between them, as opposed to scolding Rhea for the brash statement Astra released a low chuckle, which Rhea returned with a laugh of her own.
Once it died down and Astra had wiped at her face again with the rag, she asked, "So, what really brings you to the yard? Since clearly you are not in the attire for training." As she said this she gestured to Rhea's clothing, which was rather simple with dark pants, tall boots, a maroon long sleeved shirt, and a lightweight brown hunting jacket to keep the occasional chilly wind at bay in the evening. In contrast Astra wore shorter pants and a lighter weight shirt to accommodate more activity.
"I wanted to invite you to take a nice walk in the forest with me. No training or anything, just talking,"Rhea replied, fighting the nerves that hopped around inside of her throat. What she wished to talk about in the forest was important and she'd be devastated if Astra rejected.
While Astra looked a bit skeptical at first, not knowing Rhea's true motives, she smiled again and answered, "A walk would be nice. Just give me a moment to change and clean up a bit."
"Sure. Could you meet me at the main trail when you are ready?"Rhea asked as the two began to walk away from the training yard side by side.
"Sounds good to me. I'll see you there,"Astra replied as she turned away from Rhea and started to take a set of stairs that connected to a tall stone building.
Rhea offered a loose wave, just a hand up in the air, before shoving her hands into her pockets and retreating to the meeting spot with an even pace. There was no rush now, only prolonged anticipation for the conversation to come. More time for her anxiety to ferment.
The situation played on in Rhea's head, the possible outcomes accounted for. Would Astra accept or decline her advances? Acceptance would be ideal, but was rejection more likely? If indeed Astra did decline, there would be room only for humility. Rhea's heart nearly leaped into her throat at the thought of facing Astra the next day if the response had been negative. Would Astra break ties entirely? Or maintain a now more awkward companionship?
Before Rhea had realized she had unsheathed the dagger at her hip and began to turn it about carefully in her hands. The blade moved slowly, yet fluidly, like liquid, weaving between deft fingers. Such a habit should be tamed, but nervous instincts were not one of Rhea's current priorities. The dagger was sheathed anyways under better judgement.
A few more agonizing minutes passed before Astra appeared at the top of the steps and came winding down. A simple white button up shirt and pristine looking pants replaced athletic attire. Rhea's heart fluttered and suddenly she was self conscious. Was she underdressed? No, it was characteristic of Astra to always look her best. And that she did. As Astra descended Rhea watched with the trace of a smile, before realizing she had been caught staring. However, backing down was not something Rhea did well, so she kept staring in a bold move. Defying social standards was what she did best.
When Astra finally reached the bottom she said, "Sorry to keep you waiting."
"It's no problem,"Rhea dismissed with a wave of her hand, beginning to walk on the dirt trail in the direction of the surrounding forest.
Astra followed Rhea with long strides, having to slow her pace so she could match the strides of the much shorter woman at her side. "So, lovely day, isn't it?"Rhea commented with a sigh, taking a sweeping look of the afternoon sky that blanketed the forest.
"It is indeed,"Astra answered, watching the trees roll by as they began to enter the woodland. A faint, teasing glimmer caught her eye. She was ever observant and realized one oddity in Rhea's seemingly innocent comment, "But when did you become interested in small talk? Last time we talked you went on a rant about inequalities of economic classes. The previous time we spoke of ancient war strategies. May I ask what makes you so keen to change your pace?"
Rhea nearly froze, white wings drooping slightly. Astra could read her like a book already. Was that a good sign? To recover, Rhea looked up at Astra and said, "Why not? Look around. Isn't scenery like this something to be admired? War strategies, we can speak of later."
"Fair enough. You do make a good point,"Astra offered casually, smiling to herself while Rhea busied herself with looking at a patch of wildflowers. The flowers grew all along, most being orange or yellow, but the one Rhea was fixated on was a deep blue color.
"What a pretty color,"Rhea praised, pointing to the flower. "You don't see one like that every day,"Astra replied as they passed it, offering last looks before pressing onward. The forest closed in around them and the light level decreased, what sunlight that was left filtering through tree branches, casting all sorts of shadows.
They went on in silence for a few more moments, both enjoying each other's company, but also acutely aware that something about this meeting was different than others. After a minute passed Rhea began to look to Astra for some sort of opening. She hadn't planned this far into their meeting. When would she breech the topic? And how? Astra gave no cues, looking forwards as she ambled along, feigning ignorance.
Of course Astra knew why Rhea had called her aside. Years of training among soldiers had yielded information on combat not only on, but also on how to read people. Usually Rhea was confident, head up, shoulders back. Now she seemed slightly hindered, wings settling and resettling when she thought Astra wasn't looking. Since Astra had also noticed their increased closeness, there was only one outcome to this. She was just waiting for it to happen, waiting for Rhea to make the first move for her own amusement.
After a few more minutes when Astra offered no words or actions, Rhea couldn't handle the discomfort any more. "Astra…"she began, stopping and placing a hand on Astra's bicep since she couldn't reach her shoulder well enough.
"Rhea?"she returned, stopping and facing Rhea. A sense of excitement welled up in her, but still, she waited for Rhea to act.
Rhea looked at the ground, the tip of her boot pressed into the ground, shaking slightly in the dirt. A sign of apprehension. "Um…"she began, fumbling for words, which only made it that much harder for Astra to stifle a smile, the beginning of a grin starting to form. Slowly Rhea's head tilted up to look Astra in the eyes and she mentally scolded herself, feeling like a silly child. Pride wounded, she made a smile that was more like a grimace and turned away. "Nevermind…"she mumbled bitterly and immediately felt like more of a bumbling idiot.
Astra's smile turned into a concerned frown and her hand followed Rhea, resting on the girl's shoulder. Realizing the girl needed some help here Astra gently offered, "Hey, you can tell me anything. Really. Anything."
Rhea slowly turned her head to look over her shoulder. "Anything?"she asked, an eyebrow raised in question.
"Anything,"Astra affirmed with a solid nod, hand sliding off of Rhea's shoulder.
Rhea gathered herself, turning around, shoulders and head returning to an upright and confident position. "Astra Crowden...I think that I have fallen in love with you,"she said softly, looking up at Astra and trying not to break their gaze. It wasn't time to back down again.
At first Rhea feared a rejection as if it would be the death of her. Then it became clear that wouldn't happen. A toothy grin grew on Astra's face. "I was waiting for you to say that."
Rhea's jaw nearly dropped. "So you knew...the whole time?"
"Pretty much,"Astra laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck.
A look of relief seemed to cross Rhea's face and she managed a slightly awkward giggle of her own. "Well then I just look like an idiot now…"she said, glancing down at the forest floor again and shifting her weight from foot to foot.
Surprisingly, Astra wrapped her arms around Rhea. "Does that make you...my idiot now?"she asked, pulling a bold move as well.
Initially Rhea's posture became rigid, uncomfortable. Then she relaxed again and gently rested her head against Astra's head. "I suppose it does,"she affirmed.
The mood was much darker years from that memory, in Rhea's room in the demon manse. Rhea and Astra ceased their reminiscing and Astra spoke up in the present,"Are...are you still my idiot?"
"Perhaps...an idiot. Probably not yours."
Reality was harsh and unrelenting. It wouldn't let them forget that they were supposed to be split now, but years couldn't be erased. The issue was, what could they do? Was there a remedy as convenient as Rhea's arsenal of chemical concoctions lined up on the shelf?
"Why not?"Astra suddenly asked, almost childishly.
"Because it simply can't work,"Rhea defended, seeming somber.
"But...why can't it work?"Astra reasoned.
Rhea scoffed and turned to face Astra. "We're on different sides now. 'Corrupted' do not mix with 'non-corrupt' angels."
"Why can't we be different?"
"....Are you going to do this all night?" A nostril twitched in frustration, eyes accusing,incited by sudden discomfort.
"What? Question how easily you seem to have dropped our relationship?,"Astra offered, voice raising slightly.
Rhea rose to her feet suddenly with clenched fists and watched Astra flinch. It pained her that the small encounter with Malax had left Astra so mistrusting. How could Rhea blame her? The girl had believed she had received the highest insult. Also, one tended to be more cautious of reality after dealing with Malax's cruel shenanigans. Compared to the gods', the minds of angels and demons were more fragile than initially assumed, arguably more primitive.
"Do you think this has been easy for me, Astra? It hasn't. I feel like a gaping hole has been torn into my heart. Every. Goddamned. Day,"she spoke, voice tense. It took a lot of energy to prevent her words from wavering.
"I didn't think you cared about me. I'm just a dumb angel to you."
"That's beside the point...You are a dumb angel…"Rhea paused to collect her thoughts.
Before she could speak again Astra did, looking up like a hopeful puppy, but she didn't want table scraps. She only ever wanted love.
"Does that make me your dumb angel?"
Rhea's mouth formed a tight line. She turned towards the opened window again, back to Astra. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, Astra,"she dismissed cooly. Soft Rhea was shoved aside and replaced by the new one, the Mistress of Moristor Manner, leader of demons.
That having been said, she leaped out from the window and unfurled great black wings, feathers tipped with traces of white. They caught the night air easily, extended to a full span of fifteen feet. How can one possibly fly away from problems when said problems are embedded inside ones soul?
Inside the manor still Astra sat, an empty feeling slipping over her like a tidal wave. Drowning was welcomed.