Engagement Ring Discussion; Is Tradition Overrated?

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Engagement/wedding rings are a construct of the 20th century.

But they're still symbols, and symbols mean something whether you want them to or not. It's not going to change until the cultural belief changes.

So unless you and your SO are cool with it, the ring is going to be a Thing.
 
Both myself and my girlfriend do not really believe in the idea of diamonds for rings, or the over extravagant pricing and materials for them. Both gold and diamonds can be used in other businesses or industries that would be better for the world, I think.

That said, my girlfriend still wants a ring. And I want to get one made of iron I take the ground myself. I want to put it along side a piece of meteor if possible. That way I can be annoyingly, gut wrenchingly sweet and say I pulled together the earth and skies for her.
 
Both myself and my girlfriend do not really believe in the idea of diamonds for rings, or the over extravagant pricing and materials for them. Both gold and diamonds can be used in other businesses or industries that would be better for the world, I think.

That said, my girlfriend still wants a ring. And I want to get one made of iron I take the ground myself. I want to put it along side a piece of meteor if possible. That way I can be annoyingly, gut wrenchingly sweet and say I pulled together the earth and skies for her.

I got a tungsten-carbide ring for my ex-wife, with Elvish script written inside. Not expensive, not gold or silver, but... Fancy, in the way that was important to us.
 
Honestly though, I'd just loose the ring anyways....... so I think it is a waste. :\
Hell, wear it on a necklace, or tie it to your finger. That'll keep it where it needs to be. :D

So my two cents on rings; these are, of course, my personal feelings. However, I imagine there are at least a few people who might share them because I can't believe I'm so unique.

Engagement rings don't have to be showy, flashy, or horribly expensive. But I would like something durable and what I consider pretty/good looking because, hopefully, I'll be wearing it a long time and everywhere.

An engagement ring functions as carrying a part of my SO and their love/our relationship everywhere with me in something tangible I can fiddle with. A sentimental symbol of it, not necessarily a reminder of duty. I personally like to have some piece of jewelry to wear everywhere from someone I'm serious with, although I've worn everything from a claddagh to a 25cent ankh charm. I don't require a week's worth of pay or some bullshit like that, but I'd like something decent looking and durable, and that isn't usually $5.

And I guess in that vein of thought, I wouldn't want to trade an engagement ring for something like a house or a vacation. I'd like something I can keep on me everywhere. I also wouldn't mind a ring that functioned as a combo wedding/engagement ring.

I think it ultimately boils down to whether people value it for sentimental reasons or don't assign any sentimental feeling to the ring. I hesitate to say either is right or wrong unless you refuse to marry someone you ostensibly love because they can't give you the one you want.
It's surprisingly easy to find a ring that looks absolutely beautiful without breaking the bank, so going the ring route but away from diamonds can end up with some pretty nifty looking and affordable designs. The cool part about going off the beaten trail is that you can definitely look at something that's more personal for you and your partner. Who knows? Maybe a fancy engraved band with the birthstone of the month of your anniversary is what speaks to you.

I think it's pretty common for wedding bands to be pretty plain compared to engagement rings, and I haven't heard of anyone using the engagement ring as a wedding ring.

But a good observation! I think now adays, people are starting to break off a bit from tradition and do their own thing more and more often, so the sentiment behind a ring might not be as strong as it was in say our parents' generation. Regardless, it's definitely good to talk to your significant other about what their thoughts are well ahead of time so you're both happy when the time comes to pop the question.

Personally, I feel marriage is a very expensive piece of paper telling you something you already know. So, my stance on engagement rings should be kind of obvious.

Yeah.
But dem tax breaks, bro.

If I ever decide to marry. My current "Candidate" for eternal suffering alongside my misarable self is getting a ring of blackened silver with the word "Big mistake" on it.
But at least you'll be a fancy mistake!

Rings are overrated.

Marriage itself is overrated.

Having someone to love is not.

My wife got my great grandmother's diamond ring for the engagement because family tradition or something. I dunno. For the wedding we got titanium rings. Because other metals are just expensive because they're SHINY.

Her ring saved me from losing my hand when someone turned on a steel press when it was being serviced. Broke my finger yanking it out, but better than losing my arm halfway to the elbow.


Punched the guy with said hand and ring after it happened.
My brother in law got a Titanium ring. Gotta admit, they look rather nice. Plus, they're Russia Stronk.

Also, holy shit. That must have been a wildly unpleasant experience!

Love is strong. Titanium is stronger
To my recollection, love has never stopped a SABOT round from an 120mm cannon.

Advantage= Titanium.

Both my engagement and wedding rings are diamond. I've never wanted, nor felt the need, for rings. I immediately wanted to return them but it would have hurt my husband's feelers.
But I bet they're fancy! Plus, it probably makes him happy every time he sees them. It's the thought that counts!

Depends on how much it means to my partner. Relationships are give and take, if my partner is more of a traditionalist and wants an engagement ring, I'll figure that out and reciprocate.

I mean, yes, relationship rings are overly expensive cons that don't do anything for you but act symbolically. Yet, I'm willing to bet most people who decry them are more than happy to down several bottles of literal highly-taxed poison while watching several men fondle big brown balls on national television to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars. So, basically, if you're willing to dump a few hundred on a set piece sword to hang in your living room, and not on an engagement ring that your significant other might want due to personal beliefs or traditions... I do admit questioning your reasoning. Figure things out with your SO. It's not a waste of money if it really means that much to all parties involved. As for whether it's logical or not? It isn't logical.

Neither is love.

Get past that. :ferret:
Well, to be fair, you'll be downing more highly taxed poison at your wedding and honeymoon and you're gonna love it.

I've decided to take away from this that buying swords instead of rings would be awesome. What woman wouldn't swoon at being presented with a Scottish broadsword, I do not know.

It's also a bit of give and take. Your partner should probably respect your stance on weddings and rings, as well. It's a two way street. That said, if my partner was dead set on a traditional wedding and all the bells and whistles that went with it, I'd do what I had to to make her happy, although I'd definitely broach some alternative ideas because I am not a super traditional person in the first place.

I also don't think most people are really calling rings a waste of money, just questioning if the traditional diamond on gold is the way to go, considering the super inflated price. There's a difference between seeing something as a waste of money and seeing if it's really important if the engagement ring absolutely has to be the traditional set up. Overall, it's the sentiment that counts after all and not the price tag. Someone's disposable income spending habits shouldn't even be a consideration for something like this, because when it comes down to it, I think it someone was serious about the whole marriage thing, they'd be budgeting to do just that. There's no reason why Jim-Bob with his bottle a week drinking habit, wall-spanning sword collection, and otherwise frivolous spending habits wouldn't change said habits to afford an engagement ring and a wedding. Point is, a person's personal spending habits shouldn't have anything to do with their stance on engagement rings and the cost of it because either they'll start to save for it if it means a lot of their significant other and/or themselves (or should, anyways), or they won't be bothered even if they had millions of dollars of disposable income laying around.

Should I ever be fortunate enough to find someone and end up married, I'd like a ring.

It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive, But I'd like to be able to wear it everyday as a declaration that "Hey, I'm found this amazing guy and made a commitment to him, and him to me."
As others have said durability would mean more to me than fanciness or what stone (if any) was on it. Though since I would be wearing it everyday I'd also like it to be a type of ring that suited me ^_^
There's some pretty fancy stones with a great hardness rating. Topaz, for instance!

@Midian has the same line of thought as I do. The only jewelry I've ever worn for a fair amount of time has been very cheap and eventually cycled out. The only exception to this was a necklace for my confirmation (which has since disappeared in the house I hope. I hope it's the house.) and my class ring. I definitely want an engagement ring, but I want it to be something that I will wear every day for the rest of the marriage (and because I'm Catholic...). It would be a physical reminder of their devotion and also a brilliant deterrent for creeps. I don't want gaudy. I don't want diamond. Diamond is stupid and overpriced and boring. I want something that my fiancé thought about. I don't want it to cost a fortune because there's so much else that goes into life that I would rather see money of the magnitude go to. So if said fiancé was stuck on "I MUST SPEND THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY ON YOU BECAUSE TRADITION" then I would rather see it go towards a ring and something else. Otherwise? Something simple with golden metal because I'm a traditionalist that believes engagement and wedding rings should have a gold color to them even though I prefer silver jewelry normally. Maybe the metal will change... but I've definitely got time.
I think a lot of people usually wear cheap jewelry for day to day wear and save the fancy stuff for special occasions. Also, you can always get a cheap ring to wear as a mock wedding band that they got from a cheap department store (10 dollars for a crappy ring, whee!) to deter creeps when you're at work and such and it works wonders, a bunch of friends of mine do that.

A nice part about gold is it's absolutely fantastic and doesn't have to be super expensive. I think you'll be a-okay if you wanted to keep that route. :D

I don't like rings. I find them uncomfortable, and they often get stuck on my fingers. Hence, I almost never wear them.

Hence, don't buy me a ring. You are wasting money. @_@ I'll try wearing it to make you happy, but I will fall out of the habit very quickly. Because I don't wear rings.

But even if that wasn't the case, the dollar amount should not be that important. I mean, am I really going to be asking how much the ring's worth after some guy just proposed to me?? I think that's the last thing that would be on my mind. If engagement rings are supposed to be symbolic, then what does it matter what monetary value it has? A symbol can be anything. A symbol can be something that costs nothing but means so much more. What types of stone and metal are in that ring doesn't matter -- what matters is who gave it to me and what it means. That's how symbols work.

Also, if it's aesthetic we're talking about... diamonds don't even look that pretty imo. They might as well be well-polished glass as far as I can tell. I'd much rather have something with some color in it.
The few times I tried rings on, I felt the same way. I hate wearing stuff on my hands and wrists, I can't even recall the last time I wore a watch. I find this reply really interesting, because I rarely ever hear of comfort being a reason for not wanting an engagement ring.

Also, man, I can just imagine there's some people out there who after the surprise of being proposed to wears off start questioning the value of the ring.

Personally, I like the idea of diamonds in industrial processes more than jewelry. Just try to get a diamond-dusted chainjaw blade to dull.

Engagement/wedding rings are a construct of the 20th century.

But they're still symbols, and symbols mean something whether you want them to or not. It's not going to change until the cultural belief changes.

So unless you and your SO are cool with it, the ring is going to be a Thing.
Yup, like I mentioned in my first post, it all started back in the 1920s, and De Beers were pretty much the ones spearheading that shit. It's less time-honoured tradition than a well-preserved marketing hype tactic that took the world by storm. We're talking 3 generations worth of people who've done diamonds as the traditional engagement ring, which is a spitball in the well of civilization.

It would be kind of like if oil companies started putting out advertisements that if you wanted to preserve the traditional family, you'd buy an SUV and everyone who didn't hates their children and then society fucking ate that shit up.

Both myself and my girlfriend do not really believe in the idea of diamonds for rings, or the over extravagant pricing and materials for them. Both gold and diamonds can be used in other businesses or industries that would be better for the world, I think.

That said, my girlfriend still wants a ring. And I want to get one made of iron I take the ground myself. I want to put it along side a piece of meteor if possible. That way I can be annoyingly, gut wrenchingly sweet and say I pulled together the earth and skies for her.
Hooray for industrial uses for diamonds! And gold, which is a hell of a useful material all around.

I actually have a few meteor rocks (I think its tektite, although I think there's other kinds I can't recall the names of that might it it) that I found laying around, so it wouldn't be totally impossible. Try to find a camp ground or lake that was formed by a meteorite impact and you can usually find fragments littered all over the place in abundance.

Also, you're winning for the best symbolism idea. I quite like it! Kind of reminds me of an old friend of mine who made a promise ring to his girlfriend from from an old paintball barrel because they both used to be avid players.
 
Both myself and my girlfriend do not really believe in the idea of diamonds for rings, or the over extravagant pricing and materials for them. Both gold and diamonds can be used in other businesses or industries that would be better for the world, I think.

That said, my girlfriend still wants a ring. And I want to get one made of iron I take the ground myself. I want to put it along side a piece of meteor if possible. That way I can be annoyingly, gut wrenchingly sweet and say I pulled together the earth and skies for her.

That's so adorable I could puke. <3
 
That's so adorable I could puke. <3
puking_rainbow_by_kadravor-d3f859v.gif
 
Both myself and my girlfriend do not really believe in the idea of diamonds for rings, or the over extravagant pricing and materials for them. Both gold and diamonds can be used in other businesses or industries that would be better for the world, I think.

That said, my girlfriend still wants a ring. And I want to get one made of iron I take the ground myself. I want to put it along side a piece of meteor if possible. That way I can be annoyingly, gut wrenchingly sweet and say I pulled together the earth and skies for her.
Heh. <3 I was going to type some dumb thing about how I'm a sentimental sap and long for a handmade ring rather than store bought, but schnookums worded it well enough that I don't have to explain. ;P When it comes to jewelry, there's nothing more beautiful to me than something that's been made by the hands of one's beloved. Put some heart and soul into it. Even if it's not the best quality, I'd wear it proudly. Other than that, I like the idea of something that appeals to my nerdy side. There are gorgeous rings with designs shaped like Star Wars characters and such.

Or do it Ron Swanson style:

 
Hell, wear it on a necklace, or tie it to your finger. That'll keep it where it needs to be. :D
....I've lost necklaces before. I'm really bad at keeping track of jewlery, but I was able to hold onto the necklace for about a year before I lost it xD
 
Best Engagement Ring Ever:


When you meet your one true love, he/she will be in the most critically dangerous part of their life, something killing them. You save them.
Later, you meet, date, and fall in love with one another.
Then, when the time is right: You carve or forge, whatever it was that was that nearly killed them, into their engagement ring.

Nothing says I love you, like saying, "I will beat death down, just to spend the rest of my life with you," with your engagement ring.
 
If Mister Gibs had been rich, yes I would have expected a ring, because SHINY THING WHY NOT?


As it stands, we did not have money, so I didn't care about a ring. XD I just wanted to get married. The wedding bands we got are tungstun steel and off Amazon! Half the time I forgot to wear it. O___O
 
Considering the hypotheticals... if she wanted a ring, I'd do what I could to get one for her. However, I'm personally not a fan, and feel there are other ways to show that you love the other person. Ways that don't cost so much money. That sack full of cash could be spent on the honeymoon instead, and that should be an unforgettable experience. :P
 
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As someone who is married, I can honestly say I see no point to an engagement or wedding ring. Neither really symbolize a commitment, not when they can easily be removed at any point in time. (That's not saying I believe there should be some permanent symbol!) A ring shouldn't be what tells someone else that a person is in a committed relationship, that should be their actions and their words. If I'm in a bar and someone comes up to me and starts hitting on me, the ring isn't going to deter them. What deters them is me telling them to go fuck off because I'm married.
 
As someone who is married, I can honestly say I see no point to an engagement or wedding ring. Neither really symbolize a commitment, not when they can easily be removed at any point in time. (That's not saying I believe there should be some permanent symbol!) A ring shouldn't be what tells someone else that a person is in a committed relationship, that should be their actions and their words. If I'm in a bar and someone comes up to me and starts hitting on me, the ring isn't going to deter them. What deters them is me telling them to go fuck off because I'm married.
Maybe engagement brass knuckles should be a thing. That'll deter creeps. :D
 
If I was interested in falling in love with someone, I don't think I'd give two shits if they were up at the alter with rags on. It'd be just enough to have them, fuck the damn rings.
 
I'm of the opinion that wedding rings are generally a huge waste in cash.

Like this isn't a sword on the wall that only costs a few hundred bucks.
This is weeks of salaries, 1000's and 1000's of dollars spent.
That's a lot of money to be spending on something that cosmetic.

I'd much rather see that go towards something like a better honeymoon, our future home or maybe the wedding itself (I'll get to this part in a minute).

What tells my Partner I love them should be the way we interact, the hard work and dedication put into the relationship. Not how many weeks of pay I spent on a piece of metal and jewellery.
And in all honesty, if my Partner was such a traditionalist that they required the ring? Then that would indiciate bigger problems where marriage wouldn't be a wise move to begin with.
I'm all about questioning things, may it be culture, science, social norms etc. The total opposite of a traditionalist, we quite simply would not be able to get along and live together well, conflicts would be everywhere.

That's not to say I wouldn't be opposed to spending a few hundred bucks on a nice looking ring mind you.
Like mentioned before, people throw money at swords on the wall, painting, figurines etc. all the time.
A few hundred bucks is an acceptable amount of money to throw at something cosmetic, but not several weeks of one's salary.

------------------------

As for the Wedding bit?

Honestly, I'm sort of opposed to that too.
It's a huge expense, one that could be used in other places.

However, unlike a ring this is an actual event.
One where memories can be made, and gives people an excuse to see people they might not to seen in a while.

Ex: Say one of my highschool friends I only see a few times a year now, or any family member living up north.
I may not see them much, but I'd be damned if they weren't invited to my wedding.

If one can say "I'd much rather see the money go to a better honeymoon" I see no reason why it can't also be redirected to the Wedding.
At that point it just boils down to what kind of memories people value more, the memory of when the marriage happened, surrounded by everyone you love? Or the memories when the two of you are on your own?
 
Best Engagement Ring Ever:


When you meet your one true love, he/she will be in the most critically dangerous part of their life, something killing them. You save them.
Later, you meet, date, and fall in love with one another.
Then, when the time is right: You carve or forge, whatever it was that was that nearly killed them, into their engagement ring.

Nothing says I love you, like saying, "I will beat death down, just to spend the rest of my life with you," with your engagement ring.
lol whut?

man, i wish my life was an action adventure game just like that! chicks are always crazy hot in those kinds of game!

in the meantime, probably be more reliable going to the store

;)
 
The hubby and I didn't get rings because 1. We don't care for them, and 2. We didn't have money. Instead we got a mason jar and we filled it up with memories (little notes) we've created that remind us of each other. The plan is to do this for a year and then open it together.

We did think about getting jewelry together, but it just never happened. I think we would have if we had money, but it's not in the cards right now. Whether or not I think couples should stop buying rings for each other is completely irrelevant. Each person is different, each couple is different. Get whatever makes the both of you happy and content.
 
I see and understand the logical arguments for why diamond engagement rings are a constructed idea by diamond companies.

Didn't change the fact that I wanted one and got one, though.

>__>
 
I see and understand the logical arguments for why diamond engagement rings are a constructed idea by diamond companies.

Didn't change the fact that I wanted one and got one, though.

>__>


Bling all the things fatal

Bling all the things
 
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