Ears

F

FishWolf

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EARS

I was rudely awakened by an ice cold nose on my cheek and a dog sitting on my chest. I groaned and tried to sit up, but this dog wasn't a puppy anymore, and he weighed about a ton. "I'm up, I'm up, now let me get out of bed!" The dog wagged it's tail, then yawned in my face as a response. Then he jumped off of my chest and waited for me to slowly drag myself out of bed. Then he proceeded to grab one of my flip-flops and run away with it. I sat on my bed, groggy, and got up to find out where he hid it this time. I was always the first one to wake up in the house, because Ears, my dog, would wake me up at exactly 5:30 A.M every morning, whether I liked it or not. It was summer, so the skies were already lightening. I walked downstairs to find Ears happily slobbering all over the rubber flip-flop. He never chewed on my stuff, he just liked to slobber all over it. He looked up at me, wagged his tail, and jumped off of the bed and ran into the kitchen, where he turned and did a play-bow. "No, Ears, I'm not playing tag with you. It's too early." Ears then dropped the soaking wet flip-flop and joined me on the couch to watch the news, where he tried to climb onto my lap. I tried to push himoff, but that dog was like a wall. "Ears, I can't see with your big fat head in the way. Move it." Ears then looked at me and sneezed, the force of the sneeze making him headbutt me. "OUCH goddammit Ears!" I shouted, and Ears jumped off of my lap and contented himself with sitting next to me. The then shook himself, his ears flying to the sides and, because he was so close to me, his ears slapped me on the arm. SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP. He did this every day, and it HURT when he did it, because his ears are huge and feel like whips. That's how he got his name. I winced, but I didn't even say ow. Ears often did things that I would never understand. He always yawned, sneezed, and shook near people, causing massive damage.

If that dog was any lighter he would probably fly away with those ears. He'd also take off like a rocket whenever he sneezed, probably. It took years of skill and practice to avoid the classic Ears sneeze-headbutt, and sometimes even then he'll catch you off guard. I got up and wandered into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, Ears following behind me hopefully. I knew exactly what he wanted. "Ears, you big mutt, you're not getting any." Ears had fallen in love with toasted waffles ever since he had jumped up and caught the one that had popped out of the toaster. But he just gave me that look, the one he had mastered ever since he was a puppy, and I gave up. "Fine, fine, just...stop giving me that look." I put a frozen waffle in the toaster, and proceeded to make coffee.



(This is just a really short...thing. It isn't really a story, but I just wanted to post it.)