GROUP RP PLOTTING Dreams: The Other Side

[Duvynne]

So far all I have is something to kind of go off of....this is kind of a book that I am writing and as of right now I don't have a name for it. All I can say is that it is sort of a real dream/alternate reality. I'll make a thread in the writer's corner so everyone can take a look at it and see if it is the kind of thing that they would be interested in or not. I will give my word in advance, that I won't use any name's characters, or anything else like that in my book. Unless given express permission by the character creator and even then I will give full credit to the person(s). In books, there is of course one main character, but with the way everything is set up, there can be multiple if this becomes an RP. I am not that far into my book as to figure out a sort of conflict or opponent that should arise and give things a bit of a twist. Anyways I know this may seem like I am writing my book more than an RP, but I would like a bit of help so I can make this into an RP. Mainly because I want to see how things will play out in certain situations and such. Now if you don't mind I'll given you the intro for the RP, or what I have of it so far. I am kind iffy on if I should give the city a bit of a background, I'm not really good at those kinds of things. Anyways, back to business, here is what I have so far.
​

There is a dream that is a re-occurrence in children across the globe. It starts with one child in China and then it'll be all the way in American, then England, and then Africa. 'How is all of this connected?' Is the question that has permeated the air. Random children that have no connection with one another fell ill to the same dream, yet it only infects a few. Not realizing how much the dream is going to affect their children, parents keep moving on with their lives. Until one by one, the children start dying and scientists become baffled as to how a simple dream can take the life of a child. One child describes the dream in such great detail that it scares the world. This is that dream.

Standing at the top of a valley and looking down at the strange city below, you feel it call out to you. As it calls out, you grow ever closer to the city in a mindless shuffle, as if you were a zombie. Suddenly something stops you and you snap back to reality. You reach your hand out to see what it was and you find that is some kind of force field that is purposefully keeping you from venturing any further. Hearing the faint sounds of gears turning your turn your gaze to the starlit sky, you notice large ghostly green gears in the sky. 'What are they for? Why are they there?' These are the questions that you keep churning in your mind as you stare at them, mesmerized.

Feeling a slight shift in the dream, you notice the faint outline of a man off to your left. Turning to face him, you take notice of what he is wearing: a white tuxedo and a pair of headphones with the jack in his hand. Opening your mouth to say something, you are taken aback from the fact that you have no voice. "Chill cool cat. I'm not going to hurt you." The man said to you as he turned around and looked at you with his eyes, the same color of green as the gears. "You're probably wondering who I am. I am of no importance, just a guide for those who wish to enter our realm. I'll clue you in on what's going on." He said as he took a step forward and slid his hands into his pockets. Feeling a bit uneasy, you ran away from the man.

You ran for what seemed like hours, but you only ended right back where you started. "Don't cop a breeze on me just yet; I want to bash ears for a minute." He said as he slowly swayed side to side to some unknown music that only he could hear. "This is the city of Isur. Everyone here is an odd ball you dig? But these people are earthbound." He continued on as the jack to his headphones slowly lifted into the air. "You seem like you're going to have a blast here. If you wish to enter the city, then please follow the path." He said waving a hand towards the large gears. A path appeared and you looked at it for a few seconds before slowly walking along it.

You looked down and saw the city slowly come into view below you, and you turned to go back. By this time it was too late, the path was already disappearing with each step you took. All you could do is continue your journey to the table at the end of the path. Reaching the table, you take a seat behind it and you grab the pen that is lying next to a piece of paper. Looking down at the paper you notice that it looks oddly like an application. Filling it out, you answer it truthfully and stand up once you were finished.

A light suddenly shoots from the sky and lands about you, your body being raised into the air and the feeling of pain as your body transformed. Soon after that was over, the felt the burning sensation of someone branding you, but as you looked around there was no one around. "That's your mark, leave it on this world. I'll see you later daddy-o." The man's voice said as you began falling backwards into the city.

That is everything that I have so far. If it needs work, let me know and we will try to fix it. I greatly appreciate all of your help, and for all of the time that you took to read this. It is actually the longest intro that I have done for an RP up to this date, which means that I have greatly improved. Now if that is the intro, just think of what it would be like to RP with me. [Edit #1] If anything seems crappy to you, please excuse me as I am a bit rusty from not using my creative writing skills in an RP for the past few months (School started again, so that's why). [Edit #2] Also if you can, please leave a reply telling me what I need to work on. That way I can better myself and my writing. I found the picture that I used for this. [Edit #3] Hopefully it looks much less intimidating now.

​

 

[Serran]

I'll be very honest - the first time I clicked on this and saw your proposal, all I could think was "Oh dear, that's rather long". But then I gave it a second chance, thinking that I was being unfair. I'm glad I did give it a go, because it's a very interesting read! I'm in for this RP, but perhaps consider splitting the one huge paragraph of the dream into separate paragraphs? It should be easier for the eyes.

 

[Levusti]

I agree with Serran. I initially closed the thread because i was intimidated, even though I love reading. By parsing your paragraph into smaller, more digestible bits, it's less intimidating, easier to understand, and if someone has to leave it unfinished (like me, who was taking a coffee break at work), they can continue reading from where they left off easily.

It's a good read! However, I feel that I don't know where you want to take it. There is sooooooo many options and soooo many paths this story could take. For this to become suitable for roleplay, you'd need to give some sort of objective.

Without it, you have an almost finished plot. I'm willing to watch you develop this further, but at this point, I can't tell you I'm willing to join.

Finish this up good and impress the HELL out of me, bro! =D

 

[Duvynne]

I hope that it doesn't look as intimidating now and more people would be willing to read it. Now I know that I have an assortment of options when it comes to which direction I want to take this RP, but I will come up with an ultimate goal that they are all trying to reach. I am thinking about making it a Dystopian type government with several groups vying for power, but before they can do that, they have to eliminate the others. All the while they have to keep an eye out for the law as they seem to be around every corner. Of course, this will be a grand RP to start and I will need help on some of the aspects, such as creating an 'application' to follow, rules, and regulating the amount of/keeping an eye on members that join. As I wish this to be below an R-rating and have the ability to let someone of a younger age to join. Of course there will be a few things on the side, such as an item will appear that will help one of the groups out, but they will have to fight to reach it, which will give everyone an equal opportunity to obtain it.

 

[DoS]

Gonna watch out for this RP too. I do have some questions, since a lot of stuff like the objectives and the setting being a bit unclear to me, but since you seem to still be working on that, I'll opt to just patiently wait and see how things will develop.

 

[Duvynne]

Well everyone. I thank all of those members that have taken a look at this and for those that have taken their time to read this. It may be quite a while before I put this up as an RP, as I wish to get this as perfect as possible. I shall be back with this RP in just a week (or two), or just in a few short days if I am lucky. And for those that have taken their time to give me some feedback, I thank you especially.