Does this plot sound interesting? Why/why not

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Katey, Sep 23, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Princus
    Once upon a time, there was a little prince, who never really felt like a prince. They were drawn to "feminine" things, like dresses and dolls and make up. And while girls don't have to even like feminine things, this royal felt like girl fit them better than boy. They always wished to be a girl since they were little.
    But in their teens they learned more about trans people, and realized that if they identified as a girl, that would mean that they were a girl. They realized that they had always really been a girl.

    But her parents would not hear of such things. Once she came out to them, they refused to accept that she was a girl and banned her from "feminine" things, thinking that would somehow stop her from being a girl. She was forced to remain in the closet, only ever revealing her true self to her best friend. She was forced to only learn and do things that her parents considered "boyish". Sword fighting being the only one she actually enjoyed.

    So the young princess grew up, unable to show her true self to her people. Sheltered by her parents. Her parents kept her hidden from the public as much as her parents could get away with. Her younger brother, on the other hand, they took great pride in.
    He was the heir. He loved his sister and accepted her, but could not do much about how horrid their parents were.

    The princess had to stay in the closet... Until one day...

    On the way to a meeting with a neighboring kingdom (which she of course was not invited to, since her parents considered her the black sheep in the family), her parent's train hit another train head on.

    Her parents were killed.

    She was depressed for about a month, but then decided that she actually didn't care much. Her parents never cared for her. They were ashamed of her. Their deaths would not change the mental abuse and transphobia they had shown her her entire life. They were not worthy of being called her parents. Their deaths did not mean that she owed them any respect.

    Her brother was more torn up about it, but finally got better after two months of mourning. Once he got out of his depression, he made a shocking proclamation:
    "There is no better person to rule this kingdom than Riley. They deserve it more than I do. I relinquish my rights to the crown to them."

    Riley was shocked. A few weeks later, her brother left to fight in a war. He writes home sometimes.

    Today Riley is 17. She struggles with her gender identity. Now that her parents are gone, she is trying to regain the love for her real gender and overcome the transphobic insults, misgendering, and invalidation her parents had forced upon her.
    Will she come out to her subjects? Will she be able to be herself? Or will transphobia keep her in the closet? How will things work out for her?

    Currently a council runs the kingdom until she comes of age, but the council is oppressive to the kingdom. Riley sees this and is constantly at odds with the council and their laws.

    In just two months, she will be crowned ruler of the kingdom. Will she stay in the closet and accept being crowned a king? Or will she accept who she really is, and take her rightful position as Queen?

    -----

    I play Riley. The main two positions that need filling are Riley's best friend and Riley's little sibling. Only Riley's best friend knows that Riley is really a girl.

    So does this sound like an interesting rp?
     
  2. *frowns* I guess not...
     
  3. Oi, don't say that! I actually kind of like it! I enjoy the stories where a female is raised as a male, and this takes it to a royal level.
    My only question would have to be about the time/era actually.

    But no matter, you have the core of a great story right here. I mean, that situation is just mind blowing to even imagine! A person who was denied of their own joys, and shunned basically by their own parents now sits at the throat of their empire. I mean, her brother isn't even dead which means more fun can come out of it. You have a lot of character growth/development potential here Katey!

    I mean, there is a minor thing or two to be sorted out and thought upon, but no doubt this can be a good story! (Mainly just questioning the Genre and Era of the story, that is about the only puzzles.)
     
  4. Oh, I did forget those, didn't i?

    They have modern tech but many olden ideals (such as: women wearing pants is frowned upon; "witchcraft" and magic are banned.
    There can be actual witches/wizards if wanted but other than that, the fantasy seems at a minimum. But I'm flexible on how much fantasy this is.

    I'll add this to the post
     
  5. Hm, so it is a modern Kingdom with old ideals.. Haha, sorry I am slow sometimes and have to ponder. Blast, why does my mind have such a difficult time of processing royalty and computers being in the same frame. For some reason it keeps degrading to flintlock pistols rather than rifles as well. It always seems like when I move to help people my mind goes blank, go figure.

    At any rate, I do know modern royalties can be done, I have seen it done. Perhaps why I am baffled as to why my mind is playing tricks on me.

    I would probably attempt warp the scenario to an alter-modern era. Where as technology is not completely on par with today's standards, but it has sought advancements through other means we may not have. This could explain why the parents took a train rather than a plane. As well, the writing method of the brother. The practice of sword play is easily accounted for, even if it was today's standards, after all, well, royalty!
    Rather than using "Once upon a time" as if the setting is a point of time far in the past, we could probably think of another introduction. As well, there is the questioning of how royalty got into a modern style war...


    Bah, I am not actually helping am I? But do know that I tell the truth Katey, you have an outstanding core you are toying with here. And like all outstanding cores, there are rugged edges that need a hair of polishing.
    Certainly you should build on this idea rather than scrapping it by saying it isn't interesting. Because I would strongly disagree! There is in fact quite the amusing gem you have in there!
     
  6. Well, you did ask for why not!

    The character sounds very interesting, and I'd read a story about their struggles and journey, but this doesn't sounds like an appealing roleplay because it reads like what I call a "diva roleplay", where there is one main character played by the creator, and no real important roles set up for anyone else. Most people don't like to play the backups and cheer squad for someone elses character; they want to play people who can have an impact on the story and whose own lives and histories are important to the story, too.

    If you made this story about more than the one character's struggles, so that there was room for other characters who were just as important to the story as yours, it would probably be more appealing. I suggest taking the focus off of the prince(ss)'s struggles, and give the story a conflict (problem to solve/thing that's happening) that everyone can get invested in.

    Again, if this was just a story, I'd read it. But the difference between a story and a roleplay is that a roleplay is multiplayer, and needs to accommodate the needs/interests of other people and their characters.

    Hope this was helpful!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Okay, I get that, actually. It makes sense- thanks for bringing that to my attention. Now that I look at it, what you're saying is extremely true. It might make a good story, not a good Roleplay. I think that's because When I came up with the idea, I wanted to make it a story.

    But now I also want to rp it! You're right then, I need to make it more multiplayer! Any tips on how I can do that? Suggestions on plots and stuff I might can add to fix it?
     
  8. Thank you for the feedback! Yes, I do like this idea and don't plan on scrapping it. You're right, it needs building. Right now it's too focused on JUST the princess. I need to figure out how to add plots that make other characters equally as important to the rp! My character can't be the only important one! I need to add more importance to the other characters, as minibit said!

    Any ideas on how I might could go about that?
     
  9. You've got a pretty open pallet here, so you could really use any plot that would work in a Royal Life setting! You could introduce a war, an uprising, political intrigue, an arranged marriage, or even just focus on the less-earthshaking events of noble life, and keep your character's struggles as part of your character, rather than the focus of the story. It also makes it more fun to play if the other players learn about your character through interacting with them and getting to know them, rather than getting all their info at once and then just watching them do their thing.
     
  10. Hmm that's true. So instead of revealing everything at once, make everything more general?
    Like maybe just start with a basic kingdom rp and then we will all be able to introduce our own plot ideas from there?
     
  11. That could work! Your character's Conflict (I'm using the word 'conflict' to mean the problem or goal that drives a character or story) is more internal; aside from people who are close (eg; friends, family) it doesn't really affect other characters a lot; other than making them want to either support or discourage her. So you should either have a bigger conflict at hand, or encourage others to create characters who each have their own conflicts and goals, that everyone can either assist or obstruct, making it more of a drama roleplay
     
  12. I'll let people add their own smaller plots, and make a thread for plot discussion, where people can suggest and discuss any big plot ideas (as in, ones that would affect everyone, such as a war)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Oh, nice assist Minibit! As well, an adorable avatar you have there! That was probably a hundred times more useful than my awkwardness...

    But hey, I'll help you in any way I really can there Katey, I would enjoy seeing this thing polished.
    On a random note, war might not be too bad of a direction seeing as it would like further to the brother. Something about the other Kingdom trying to take advantage of the empty crown?

    Food for thought, food for thought..
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.