Does it matter to you how many sexual encounters a (potential) partner has had before you?

[Mundane Monster]

Well...I've never actually been in any type of romantic relationship before, but I think that if I ever do engage in one, I wouldn't care as long as that potential partner agreed to get tested before we did the do.

 

[unanun]

Only if I were a lonely, jealous child.

That's me. But since I put a ring on my first, I don't have to worry about the what-ifs.

 

[Nemopedia]

If you're so up yourself that your ego can't handle the idea that your partner might have fucked people before you, they might wanna reconsider sleeping with you in the first place.

Jus' saying.

I was thinking this as well. o: Why should they care how many partners you have had before or not? Isn't everyone throwing around this advice, "it is the present what counts", or "Don't live in the past", that sort of nonsense? Why would someone take it up onto you if you have had multiple partners in the past, why should you worry about such, or have yourself feel guilty over it? If they can't take you for who you are, including experiences or a lack of it, then obviously they aren't the lid to your pot.

Now I'm not someone who understands romantic feelings and relationships, but I thought one of the keywords to a relationship was; acceptance.

Sounds like that the one who rejected you over this reason just needed a good excuse instead of saying a simple 'no'. :/ As if you need a reason to reject someone.

 

[Tegan]

It seems a might reductionist to base a general consensus from one narrow view.

It seems sex factors pretty big in a lot of people's decision making. What if a love interest has had multiple partners, but not had sexual intercourse (plain Jane penetration--yes, strap ons and dildos and doodads count, too) with many or none of them? Would that be desirable? Or would that just raise more questions, depending on your interest's age?

Oh yeah, sex and getting older!

So Romantic Interest married their Numero Uno twenty-five years ago, had children, had a life together. But now, for whatever circumstance, Romantic Interest is now available. They've only been with one other person. But twenty-five years, man, that is a lot of sex. But on the flipside, you're in the same boat, and your middle-aged ass isn't going to get any young virgins unless you are very rich, or a monster.


We have so much to look forward to.

 

[Dervish]

Oh my. I am rambling and making no sense. This is what happens when I think about sex. I'm worse than a man.

Apparently women are actually, in fact, "worse than a man" when it comes to how high their sex drive is and thinking/ talking about it with friends. I was reading a while back that a study or two found women to be the horn dog gender supreme, which doesn't surprise me in the slightest given the contents of this thread, how it seems like the vast majority of libertine and erotic writing is done by ladies, and how you guys are biologically programmed to want to bang somebody to obtain a baby every month.

The end result is awesome. Livin' libido loca, girls.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I remember hearing about that before.
Women having an even higher sex drive then men.

 

[Hana]

I don't really... Care. ._.; So long as a person doesn't have any STDs and is healthy and all. My only stipulation is that I would only go for a sexual relationship when things are serious and they take me seriously. I don't care what others think. Men thinking men are naturally promiscuous while women are supposed to keep pure? Whatever, no skin off my back. And the other way around? So long as they don't judge people I know or personally attack them, sure.

But I have my own principles about myself. I'm a virgin, and as I said before only a serious enough relationship. If I can see a partner as someone I can wake up to and share breakfast, etc etc for years and years with. Something like that. And in my country I'm supposed to wait until marriage, but I admit that times change.

Some of the other topics raised about virginity make me wonder.

Do encounters with your own sex, without any penetration, count? Or are you still a virgin if you've never gone that far? That's what I'm curious about.

I took a purity oath back in my Christian high school. *shrug* Well, I don't know how that's going to hold up since most oaths and manifestos and things like that don't really do that well. I know, everyone knows, my former classmate who was rumored to be the village bicycle and bj queen knows. So I'll just see where life takes me. I do have someone close enough to me to trust to keep me from making any stupid decisions.

In the end I don't really judge people for their sexual escapades. Well, it does influence how I see them, but it doesn't make the person. Unless they're so into sex that that's what they're all about already, and I know enough to stay well away if I ever encounter someone like that.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Do encounters with your own sex, without any penetration, count? Or are you still a virgin if you've never gone that far? That's what I'm curious about.

Ok, I originally did a short answer.
But mid-typing I was too bothered by a contradiction that seemed to be showing.
So I ended up digging a little deep leading to a longer reply.
Hence the spoiler.

Answer

To avoid going "The word is whatever *I* want it to be", I'm going to simply go with the Dictionary here.

sexual intercourse

• Word Origin

noun
1.
genital contact, especially the insertion of the penis into the vagina followed by orgasm; coitus; copulation.

Basically it looks all that's required is genital contact.

Now, if that means both genitals connecting with one another, or simply one person interacting with the genitals of another's such as Oral seems iffy.
But judging as it puts emphasis on insertion, it's safe to assume they mean both genitals being in contact.
So technically speaking in regards to this, penetration isn't required but contact is.
But it most likely has to be mutual contact.

However, then we got this.

Full Definition of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE

1
: heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis: coitus
2
: intercourse (as anal or oral intercourse) that does not involve penetration of the vagina by the penis

So in this case, penetration is *a* requirement for heterosexuals, but it's not the only way to meet it.

Since anal intercourse or Oral intercourse also seems to be allowed.
So in this sense it's outright stated you do not require penetration, but only in regards to the Vagina.
But that seems to only clarify it as a work around to #1, so it's also safe to assume that they do intend some form of penetration with Oral and Anal.

At the moment, there seems to be some conflict... I don't like leaving it here with such a conflict.
*Digs for more dictionaries*

One

noun

1. the act carried out for procreation or for pleasure in which, typically, the insertion of the male's erect penis into the female's vagina is followed by rhythmic thrusting usually culminating in orgasm; copulation; coitus related adjective venereal

Two

sexual intercourse

n.
1. Sexual union between a male and a female involving insertion of the penis into the vagina.
2. Sexual activity that includes insertion of the penis into the anus or mouth.
American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2011 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.
sexual intercourse

n
1. (Zoology) the act carried out for procreation or for pleasure in which, typically, the insertion of the male's erect penisinto the female's vagina is followed by rhythmic thrusting usually culminating in orgasm; copulation; coitus.
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003
sex′ual in′tercourse


n.
genital contact or coupling between individuals, esp. one involving penetration of the penis into the vagina.
Random House Kernerman Webster's College Dictionary, © 2010 K Dictionaries Ltd. Copyright 2005, 1997, 1991 by Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.
sex·u·al intercourse

(sĕk′sho͞o-əl)
The process by which sperm from the male is deposited in the female during sexual reproduction.

Three

sexual intercourse

n.
1. Coitus between humans.
2. Sexual union between humans involving genital contact other than vaginal penetration by the penis.
The American Heritage® Medical Dictionary Copyright © 2007, 2004 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
sexual intercourse.

See coitus.
Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.
The act in which the external male reproductive organ—penis—enters the external/accessible female reproductive tract—vagina

Ok, so the majority seems to agree that it's either Anal and/or Oral Insertion, and/or Vagina+Penis Penetration.

Only the very first and very last entry of everything I'm quoted seems to wander out from that wording and describe it as "Genital Contact".

So if one wants to go by majority wins, then yes Penetration is required.
If one wants to address everything though, one needs to clarify what exactly "Genital Contact" defines (and I did look this up too, dictionaries didn't go that deep).

Is it as simple as say "Making the penis's kiss" and "Got a Hand job"?
Or is it another way of saying insertion (Penis on Vagina, Blow Job, Anal etc.)?

Judging by how it's the dictionary though, and how they would take the exact wording seriously?
I'm going to personally assume they mean any kind of contact where stuff like a Handjob would count, otherwise they'd just be saying Insertion.

 

[DocDec]

Ehhhh, I mean, it's not like I'd have any experience, but stuff like this is the kind of thing I think about when I'm really bored or lonely. Honestly, it could very well bother me, depending on how much of an affect it has on the actual relationship. I personally doubt I could really.....you know, deliver anything new to the town bicycle, and hearing about past stuff sorta.....threatens me. I don't like hearing about old flame-y stuff or whatever. I wish I cared a little less, because I might come off as a jealous prick once in a while, but it's just how I am, really.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I personally doubt I could really.....you know, deliver anything new to the town bicycle

Relationships are a lot more than sex. :P
There's plenty one can offer that isn't in the sexual department.

Besides, if you're a dedicated couple you can learn all of her kinks and master them far better than anyone that just slept with her casually.

 

[DocDec]

Yeah yeah yeah, of course :P
I'm just tired and worrying about later, it's not like I plan on anything like that soon. My derpy charm'd win over what my inexperience can't

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I'm just tired and worrying about later, it's not like I plan on anything like that soon.

I get it. :P
Relationships is where love, feelings, hormones etc. are rampant.

Once get's more easily worked up/less logical when in such a state.

My derpy charm'd win over what my inexperience can't

That's the spirit! :P
Virgins (And those with minimal sexual experience) Unite! :D

 

[DocDec]

As long as I'm never really.....compared to past lovers, or something like that, I'm sure I'd be fine. Just got some self-esteem/deprecation issues when it comes to being judged and all. Though in all honesty, I'll probably be with another virgin, so whatever in the end.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Just got some self-esteem/deprecation issues when it comes to being judged and all.

*Notices you're a blue star/teen*

It comes with the territory. :P
You'll grow out of it sooner or later, everyone's that way at first.

Though in all honesty, I'll probably be with another virgin, so whatever in the end.

You might be surprised. :P
Someone having sexual experience =/= only attracted to those with said experience.

 

[DocDec]

Stop makin' me feel angsty and dumb xD
Again, it's all really whatever to me in the end. Whatever happens happens, however it happens is how it happens, stuff like this is probably only gonna seem important when I'm worryin' about it and all.

 

[Kestrel]

That's me. But since I put a ring on my first, I don't have to worry about the what-ifs.

May I ask to elaborate your views and feelings on pre-marital intercourse?

Do encounters with your own sex, without any penetration, count? Or are you still a virgin if you've never gone that far? That's what I'm curious about.

For the topic itself, I'd interpreted it as sexual intercourse. However, people are free to discuss if related acts are a factor or not.

 

[unanun]

Pre-marital sex is fine.

In my mind there is always a hypothetical partner who is simply a better version of me, thus is a better person for my partner. I'm more at peace with it now, but it still gnaws at me from time to time.

 

[Space Cowboy]

Seriously? No one?