Does it matter to you how many sexual encounters a (potential) partner has had before you?

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Dianaaaaa (and other person who I can't spell your name and I'm not going to try), the thread isn't tagged debate, yo. :P <3

Personally, it would bother me a little bit. I can't exactly go off of experience because my man and I were both virgins when we met all those many years ago, and we each haven't been with anyone else since then. But I can be a pretty jealous person, so if something happened and I was back on the dating field, I would just feel jealous because someone else has had that person before me. But deal breaker? Absolutely not. I am a very sexual individual and I understand that other people are sexual as well, they just haven't had the luxury of having only one person to themselves for the entirety of their sexual lives and I can't blame them for it.

Oh my. I am rambling and making no sense. This is what happens when I think about sex. I'm worse than a man.
 
Lady B said:
Which is why I'm asking questions. Not asking anyone to defend their opinions, just clarify.
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As long as that is the sole intention of the post, this is fine.

I've seen some render clear judgements of other posters their opinion. That is what isn't welcome. Hence my previous post.
 
I already shushed like was requested. ;__;

The rest of Ya'll get back on topic for Kestrel. O_O
 
When I was growing up, I had the idea that a woman who slept with any guy was not worth my time (virgin then and thought that the first girl I slept with should be equally as inexperienced as me). Then I grew up.

The only woman I've slept with is the woman I married, however, I dated women, in college, who had partners before we dated. My wife was not a virgin when we married but that was stolen from her and that helped me with my opinion of this matter as well. I quit thinking that a woman who had slept with a man before me was tainted and began to consider the idea that they might just be human like me.

The way I was raised and the urgency forced upon me about purity didn't help my mentality but I changed it. My opinion in a nutshell is as follows:

If I were single and was interested in a woman who had been known to sleep around, there would be things I would consider but it would not disqualify her from being a potential relationship.
 
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Windsong said:
Something something key opens many locks something something lock for any key something something.
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something something pencil sharpener sharpens many pencils something something oversharpened useless stub of a pencil something something
 
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The number of partners they've had makes absolutely no difference to me in itself - but honestly, I'd also wonder about their emotional reasons for doing so. It may imply a degree of incompatibility, as discussed by @Minibit.

That's certainly not to say that sleeping around automatically means you're "broken goods". I think it's perfectly possible to have as many sexual partners as you want for perfectly good and valid reasons. Some of my previous partners have been much more promiscuous than I was, and it didn't bother me in the least. As I said, the number itself, or rather the fact of promiscuity in itself, is not a positive or negative in my book, but the reasons why might have an impact.

The same goes in reverse - if my partner was a virgin because they wanted to wait 'til marriage and saw sex outside marriage as morally wrong or evil, that'd imply that we'd be deeply incompatible. I've known people who were literally afraid of sex and intimacy because they wanted it but thought it was somehow "wrong", and it was deeply unhealthy for them. If, on the other hand, my partner was a virgin through choice or circumstance or something, I wouldn't care.
 
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Windsong said:
Quit trying to pull me back in here with something so inane!

I agree with their statements and/or sentiments on the subject matter at hand.
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There's a vast difference between anymore and any more O__O If you can't agree with them anymore then that means you've stopped agreeing with them. If you can't agree with them any more then that means you've reached the limit on how much you can agree with someone, there's literally nothing about what they said that you disagree with.

Sorry for asking... *hides behind cactus*
 
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As a wise man once said....

"Pussy ' s pussy."

Another wise man once said....

"Shave because no one likes to floss."
 
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In and of itself? Nope. I find sex to be morally neutral. Judging someone virtuous or not on whether they partake in a neutral act seems silly to me. I mean if they're having a lot of sex because they're a rapist, then they're bad and I'm judging them but that's because of the rape part, not the sex part. If they haven't ever had sex, that's again... just not doing a neutral thing which is also neutral and so the reasons behind it matter before judging.

So judging someone incompatible for whether they do a neutral act is... actually fine. I wouldn't judge you if you didn't want to be with a musician or only wanted to be with musicians. If you leave it at judging compatibility, that is. But when you judge them bad, not just for you, but in a more general sense, then I think you're being silly. In the same park if you judged all musicians as lesser people for doing a lot of music.

"Elendra, why are you comparing doing the sex with doing the music?"

Because there is a pun in that comparison.

That is why.

and now to go take a shower and then draw blorbs for today i guess before I make more bad jokes​​
 
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Another another wise man (namely Grif from Red vs Blue) said:

"Its like Voltron. The more you hook up, the better it gets."


Wisdom for the ages, Kestrel. I'm like a freaking modern day Confucious
 
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Eh, not really. I wouldn't want to be judged based on that, so I don't really judge potential partners.

Like others have said, she could tech me a thing or two thanks to experience.

The bottom line is that it doesn't matter if she's a virgin or not, I'm still gonna call her my dirty little slut in bed. *insert thumbs-up here.*
 
The number itself doesn't matter, but it might indicate other things that could make or break a relationship. Like Minibit said, tons and tons of partners could indicate very high sex drive which would cause problems for someone with a very low sex drive. On the flip side, little or no past partners could indicate very low sex drive or shyness/uncomfortableness/whatever with sex and that could be an issue for someone who has a high sex drive or is way into kinky shit. Also the whole healthy > virginal thing others have mentioned.

Also, that whole thing about males being biologically programmed to spread their seed? Yeah, fun fact, females are also biologically programmed to have sex as much as possible to maximize chances of getting pregnant. Unlike a lot of species, human females don't have much in the way of a physiological sign of fertility to know when it's optimal to have sex. Some species have things like pheromones or physical changes to indicate fertility time, but we got by via lots of trying and getting lucky (pun intentional) a lot. The only factors encouraging females to not get out there and get as much dick as humanly possible are social and cultural factors.
 
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I don't know for sure how I'd react, since I've never dated anyone before and I have no experience with love or sex. I don't even have a clear idea what love is in my mind so I don't think I would know my reaction to knowing how many partners someone I'm interested in had in the past. In my current state of mind, however, no it doesn't matter so long as my potential partner doesn't have an STD and they love me [Again, I don't understand what love between to romantically involved people looks like so I'm just guessing]. The past is just that, the past. It can't be changed and all you can do is accept it as a fact.
 
If you're so up yourself that your ego can't handle the idea that your partner might have fucked people before you, they might wanna reconsider sleeping with you in the first place.

Jus' saying.
 
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Nope.
 
Elendra said:
"Elendra, why are you comparing doing the sex with doing the music?"

Because there is a pun in that comparison.

That is why.

and now to go take a shower and then draw blorbs for today i guess before I make more bad jokes​​
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(smite)
 
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