Does it matter to you how many sexual encounters a (potential) partner has had before you?

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Kestrel

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Exactly as it says on the tin. Does it matter to you how many sexual encounters a (potential) partner has had before you? Yes, no, and why do you feel this way?

Backstory; I've recently been turned down for this reason. Yet, rather than angry this has coloured me curious. I couldn't get a proper response out of the person in question, so I'm turning to you, Iwaku. What is your take on this?

Please note I've posted this topic to learn and understand others their views. Not to argue or confirm my own. That is not what this topic is for. Thank you.
 
Not in the slightest. As long as they have a clean bill of health, they could have been the village bicycle for all I care. What matters is that was previous relationships and should have no bearing on the one we're going into. Some people have a high sex drive, or really enjoy casual sex when single, and it's perfectly normal.

It's kind of a good practice to get check ups for STDs from time to time if you tend to be that kind of person, but it's not a black mark for your suitability for a romantic partner, at least not in my books.
 
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I'd suggest adding a poll for this if you still can.

As for the question?
Basically the same thing Dervish said.

I don't care about one's sexual history (Hell, technically a lot of sex = more experience, with honestly just translates to better sex. :P)
It's the personal compatibility between the two of us personality wise that matters.

And as long as they don't cheat there's no reason for me to really care about who they've slept with before.
 
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Back when I was NOT a committed married woman, I didn't care! Sexual experience was on the very bottom of my perfect-mate check list. I was a virgin myself, and not for any noble or religious type reasons, so it's not like someone else's sexual experience would've made a difference. Unless I finally had sex and it sucked really bad. O_O As it turned out the first guy I had sex with ended up being the guy I married. XD

SHOULD HE EVER DIE and I go back on the market. I am not sure! Probably still wouldn't care. Experienced people could teach me some fun stuff, while devirginizing hot young men as a cougar would be lots of fun. I'd be a wild old tart after the booty, I doubt it would matter. O_O
 
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I should also clarify in regards to the cheating aspect.
Mentally I'm still very Monogamous. 20 years of being raised in that love, marriage etc is to be shared among only 2 people has done some very big hard wiring.

However, I do recognize that logically there's nothing wrong about having sex with other people while in a relationship as long as both people in the relationship are ok with it.
And that if one's value of a marriage/relationship is the physical act of Sex? Then it honestly doesn't look like a healthy relationship to begin with.
So from a rational point of view, I would be fine with open relationships.

BUT, the back of my head would still be going "Omg! Cheater! Cheater! Cheater!" due to the hard wiring mentioned above.
 
Where did I put that 4chan screen cap..

Some anon had his girl admit to having something like 100 partners. So another anon did the math with average penis length and amounts of thrusting until climax. Lots of formulas.

Came up with ten miles I believe. Told the anon to take a drive for ten miles and think; that's how much dick has been in his girl.

Also, yes. It kinda does. You don't want the girl who's had ten miles of cock in her. Cause she's an easy slut! Usually. USUALLY. Before someone goes wild with sexual empowerment or something silly.

I'd had all of three partners before my wife. She had two. It didn't really bother since they'd both been fairly atrocious from what I recall talking to her during those times. And considering I leave her unable to stand, I'm fine with my performance.
 
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Windsong said:
You don't want the girl who's had ten miles of cock in her.
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Just add your own couple of miles. Make you mark! Fuck it! Make sure most miles she's had is from you!
 
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Truthfully? No. If it did, I would have never married my husband!

The fact is, the past is the past, and no one can change it. You don't know when you're going to meet 'The one' and no one can really expect you to save yourself for that person, especially when there's a chance that you may never meet that person at all. Why should I hold it against someone that they found other people attractive before they met me?

However, I also don't go by the 'number' that I'm given either. People often over or under exaggerate their numbers. For most people I generally halve the number they give me and assume that's closer to the truth. Or in some cases go the opposite route and double it. (Considering my former best friend in high school only admitted to sleeping with 10 guys, and I know for a fact she slept with over 100 at the age of 16....sometimes I triple it.)
 
Nope. The more you have, the more experience you have :P

Since past is past and can't be changed, these days I can't care less. I'm all for liberty! Now if you suffer from a high jealousy streak, yeah it might torment you which is too bad for you :P
 
Not in the slightest. Sex is not a measurement of your worth. The amount of focus we put on it is ridicules as it is.
 
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Let's completely disregard my asexuality for a brief moment.

No, it doesn't matter. Like people already pointed out, the more partners they've had, the more experience they have and that'll probably lead to better sex. And sexual partners doesn't determine the value of a human, so yeah. If they're clean, over their last relationship and honest about communication between the two of you and your sexual relations, it doesn't matter at all.

And I find the whole idea that girls who've had a lot of sexual partners are sluts, while men who've had a lot of sexual partners are studs, is a load of bullcock. I'd give a long-winded explanation as to why I think it's a steaming pile of horse shit, but anybody with a brain and some common sense can figure it out.
 
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As long as they don't have any STD's, it doesn't matter. Even then, the amount of people they have had sex with doesn't matter, because you could have had sex with just one person and gotten a bunch of them. So, all in all, health awareness is all that matters.
 
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Oh! I forgot one thing that does matter. If my partner is less sexually experienced than me, especially if they're a virgin, I wouldn't rush them into anything they're uncomfortable with. This is true even if my partner is very sexually experienced, but generally, putting pressure on someone unexperienced to make their sexual debut can be more stressful and actually scarring.
 
Windsong said:
Also, yes. It kinda does. You don't want the girl who's had ten miles of cock in her. Cause she's an easy slut!
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If I may ask, what is, according to you, the relation between a person's sexual history and their value as a potential partner?
 
Kestrel said:
If I may ask, what is, according to you, the relation between a person's sexual history and their value as a potential partner?
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Going on personal experience alone here..

When someone has had such a great deal of partners then sex and intimacy loses its.. Well, it's intimacy. It becomes a casual thing that isn't as important.

It loses its value. That's what I was looking for. It no longer becomes that blissful moment where two people are as physically close in a way that none other could be.

Does any of that makes sense?
 
Windsong said:
Going on personal experience alone here..

When someone has had such a great deal of partners then sex and intimacy loses its.. Well, it's intimacy. It becomes a casual thing that isn't as important.

It loses its value. That's what I was looking for. It no longer becomes that blissful moment where two people are as physically close in a way that none other could be.

Does any of that makes sense?
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If I interpret correctly, you feel exclusivity promotes intimacy. It makes choosing and being chosen feel more special. Is that about right?
 
I agree with Windsong. It's like would you rather have a fresh coke, or a coke that has had 10 miles of penis in it?

Sorry if that sounds sorry, but it's true. Plus, chances are if a girl is the town bicycle she's a skank hoe so I ain't going after that anyways.

I'm not saying I only go after pure virgins, but if a girl has the sexual history of a porn star that is a bit of a turn off. I might go after that as a one night stand, but not as a serious relationship.
 
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Kestrel said:
If I interpret correctly, you feel exclusivity promotes intimacy. It makes choosing and being chosen feel more special. Is that about right?
Click to expand...
Yeah, sounds about right.

Also, lol @Cowboy

If she gives it up at the drop of a dime then she'd better have the best personality to make up for it.

Or killer oral.
 
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